Disclaimer: Naruto & co. don't belong to me. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
AN: ahaha- why was I gone for so long? well there were a lot of activities that i couldn't avoid and were taking up a lot of my time. anyways, here I am, and here is 'Sorry' for you.
but before that, I don't want readers to think that I'm ungrateful. thank you very much for your comments, it really pushed me into writing this (probably 'cos I felt guilty for not updating -.-;), and I hope you'll all stay with me till the end of this fic. that's that I guess. well, now I'll be re-editing those earlier chapters -it really should be done soon... oh, and Neogem, did you get your results yet? I'm so out circulation right now -I've been living under this great big pile of rock called 'my house' (am barely getting out at all) haha- all the best to all of you.
Chapter: Sorry
"Sasuke must really like you," Naruto claimed gleefully as the duo left the said Uchiha on the steps of the Hokage tower. It was late in the afternoon and they'd just met him on their way outside and Sasuke was on his way inside to pick up another mission.
"What makes you say that?" Yuki asked in surprise. A moment ago he was all huff-and-puff. Yuki hadn't known that Naruto intended to pick her up after her check up which unfortunately for him had lasted all the way through lunch. And now Yuki had to 'pay the price' and treat him out to ramen.
"Hee-" he grinned mischievously. "Little things I guess." It took her a whole minute before she realised that Naruto wanted her to prompt him more. Smiling exasperatedly she prodded his side. "So you want to know huh?"
"Oh please, tell me!" she said mock-dramatically. Naruto let out a hoot and laughed.
"I thought so!" he said with grandeur. He grinned foxily and leaned down next to her ear. "It's the way he looks at you." A blush and a little smile crept up to her face suddenly without her knowing it. She pushed Naruto playfully aside and rolled her eyes. Naruto let out another hoot of laughter. "He doesn't look at anyone else like that."
"You might be confused, Naruto. There's no change to the way he looks at people, least of all me," she denied. The blush on her face said otherwise.
"You blush too much," he remarked, poking at her cheek. Yuki did the least expected thing that she'd ever thought to do in her life - stick her tongue out. Naruto couldn't help but laugh some more. "It's no use denying it! You're all friendly with us - but when it's Sasuke! - that's a whole different matter." At that he started jumping up and down, sticking his tongue out at her childishly.
"Next time, let me know when you're planning on a circus show."
"Oka-H-Hey! That's mean!"
Later....
After a very long session at Ichiraku, Yuki finally managed to tear Naruto away from the counter and make him take a walk around the village to walk off all that sudden weight before it could go back up his throat. With the blonde beside his chattering about this and that, Yuki looked up to the sky and breathed in heavily.
It was such a nice day. The sky was clear blue and all. There was a slight chill in the wind so it wasn't at all that warm but pleasantly cool. The leaves were changing colour... It was surely autumn now. The air smelled of it. She could practically taste the weather in the atmosphere. Marveling at her ability to sense temperature that day, she stopped walking and put a palm out to the wall of the nearest building. She barely noticed Naruto stop chattering as she immersed herself in the wall's fresh chill.
"Hey... you look like you've never seen a building before," Naruto said, eyes blanked out but curious. Yuki's shoulders dropped in her sudden annoyance. The blonde saw it and laughed it off nervously. Yuki's posture was reminiscent of Sakura's when that other girl would be about to hit him on the head....
"Anyway," Yuki said, willing to shrug it off albeit irritably. Naruto sighed in obvious relief and laughed out. "So how is your training going? I know I already asked this before-..."
"It's great!" the blonde exclaimed cheerfully. "Kakashi-sensei helped me and Sakura complete kaze no jutsu! I can do it really really well now!"
"That's very good, Naruto-kun," she said, giggling as he made a little victory dance. A moment of unenergetic silence fell on them right after.
"Hey, if you don't mind my asking," Naruto began softly. "What did you do after you left the Hyuugas?" A jolt of pain suddenly decided to introduce itself to within Yuki's chest. "We barely saw you after then. And... I guess I was the only one to see you back that one time...."
"I..." Yuki began unsteadily. "I'm really sorry about that." She felt really uneasy remembering the last incident with the Hyuugas. The sudden jolt of memory caused her to be reminded that the business with them was, as yet, incomplete. She couldn't really point out what was making her so uneasy. She had, after all, agreed to live with the Uchiha. In her mind, that was basically the same as having agreed to marry him, - that at this point of their relationship, their cohabitation was only a practise session for when they could finally tie the knot.
When that would be... well, that was something she didn't particularly want to think about now. It was odd enough, no, it was shocking enough that she'd allowed herself the thought of marriage, that she'd allowed her feelings to linger around that one subject so much that... it was basically ruling her actions. Like her sudden decision to return to the anbu forces after a short period as a jounin. Her decision to try to isolate herself from Konoha. Her decision to allow Gaara to seal the Fuyu Seishin in her. It was her rejection of the thought of 'marriage' that made her do all that. It was amazing to realise that now. It was puzzling. How could she have allowed her feelings to get in the way?
Was that not against the code of ninjas?
"Yuki," Naruto called her, bringing her out of her daze. "Why did you... why anbu? Why didn't you stay as jounin?"
"There were some things," she said painfully, turning her eyes away. "Some things that I could do only if I were anbu... and not jounin. I needed to get away, Naruto. I wanted... to make sure that I still had my freedom."
"I can see that you value that a lot," he commented nonchalantly. "But don't you think that Sasuke would have let you have your freedom if you really wanted it so much?"
"Would he really?" Yuki asked back with a giggle. Naruto looked at her with a little curiosity. "Think about it. The only reason I was to marry him was so I could be kept safe in Konoha. Or, to be more specific, safe at his side. As his wife. There's no freedom in that. Everything I do, I would have to ask him. Each mission I take, I would have to get his permission."
"It's not like that I think," said the blonde firmly. "Sasuke cares for you. So I really think that he'd let you do anything he want."
"Would you let the girl you love make her way to danger willingly?" Naruto went quiet at that.
"Of course I don't really like that Sakura has to go through so much danger but as long as I'm with her-..." Yuki started to laugh out loud.
"Are you still on Sakura?"
"Of course! You and her and the two most important girls in my life!" he said pompously. Yuki couldn't help but continue laughing. "Whaaaat? Shouldn't I be happy?"
"How is Sakura-chan doing, anyway? Last I remember, she was still training under Tsunade-sama."
"She's with Shizune-san now. They're working on tacticals and some skills apparently that she can't even tell me," he said, pouting towards the end.
"Well, you know there are those things..." she said, allowing her sentence to trail off aimlessly. Naruto took one good look at her and let his shoulders relax. It'd been a while since he could allow himself such bliss - but the feeling of being with the girl was... really relieving. It was like... even after all that training with being a ninja - all that about never putting your guard down - all that was just stripped away by being near her. Or maybe it was only him who felt that way. In any case, it was nice being around Yuki. How could such a girl be-
"Hey, what was your first job as anbu?" he asked curiously.
"Oh?" Yuki was caught off-track by the sudden question. "W-well... it was an infiltration job."
"That doesn't sound too bad." Yuki chuckled at that. She stopped walking and tilted her head to one side while lifting some of her hair.
"Look at this scar," she said, allowing her friend to look at her scalp. As he looked, he saw that there was indeed some remains of a gash tracing her hairline, well hidden in by her white hair. "I got too nervous and set off the alarm. I got nicked there while I was escaping."
"Your hair... the colour... Yuki-chan." Slowly she flipped her hair back and gave Naruto a thoughtful look.
"I've been waiting for someone to ask me that for ages," she said, giving him a little smile. "But... I guess a situation has never called for it as yet. Well... my hair is white... I didn't really do that on purpose." Naruto offered no hint of interruption during her short pause so she allowed herself to continue. "It was on my last mission."
"Aha!" he exclaimed suddenly. "It was Gaara wasn't it? I bet he freaked you out with that weird racoon-thing didn't he?!"
Laughing, Yuki said, "No. I never saw that while I was there. It was something else.... Naruto-kun, I'll tell you something now... I want to tell you this, I really do, but I must ask that you promise not to repeat this to anyone else." The boy nodded in acceptance. Seeing that, Yuki breathed in deeply and straightened her posture - as if the very movement to make firm her determination to tell him. "I was sent to the Hidden Sand to learn as many sealing techniques that the Kazekage has to offer. To complete the mission and finish my training I asked to have a spirit sealed in me. While I was recuperating my hair turned white."
"Wh-Wha-...?"
"The Fuyu Seishin. I had it sealed in me so I could raise the level of my chakra." Naruto stood stock-still for a few seconds.
"Fuyu Seishin?! You had a monster-"
"A spirit, Naruto-kun," she interrupted, but Naruto was unfazed.
"-sealed in you just to complete a mission?" he asked in baffled disbelief.
"It was for the good of both of us."
"The both of us? Me?"
"Yeah. It's my job to do anything I can to always protect you. You're the jewel of this village after all," she said, flashing him a sweet smile - hoping to deter him from whatever negative feelings were starting to invade his mind. But his mind was exceptionally clear at that point. And the look on his face now was telling her that couple with his disbelief now was a mixture of anger and concern.
"You sacrificed-"
"Don't think of it that way," she cut in. "I really believe that it was the best choice of action at that time. This way, I am a little more powerful. I can protect Konoha better. Tsunade-sama did mention to me earlier that she felt that something bad in the wind was picking up. Which means that, no matter what it is, we really should prepare ourselves." Naruto didn't say a word but stood quietly staring at her. "Gaara said that we are family now," she continued on a lighter note. "You, me and him. We all carry something in us. And now... we can call on each other if anything. How about that? ...I never thought that the Gaara who was so sullen when he was a kid could value-"
"You and Gaara know how to seal, unseal and all that. Even you knew a lot more of the basics that I did - so why wasn't I sent there instead! That way-"
"It was my given duty to protect you."
"So what? You're my friend. Don't I have the right to protect you too?" They both went silent at that outburst. Naruto looked a little sorry for raising his voice but refused to say anything. Sighing heavily, Yuki brought her hand up and patted him on the shoulder as if telling him that she understood his meaning.
"I'm sorry."
"You should tell Sasuke," he muttered.
"I won't."
"But he's your fiancé!" he argued back.
"Says who?" she retorted just as fiercely. "Naruto-kun please-" While taken aback as he was that she'd practically just outright denied her connection to Sasuke, he felt that he still couldn't understand just how... or why-....
"What about Kakashi-sensei?"
"He's coming over tonight, and I plan to tell him after dinner. Do you want to come, too, Naruto-kun?" Feeling angry at her willfulness he turned away and started clenching and unclenching his fists.
"... Please tell Sasuke, Yuki-chan. I know I promised not to tell, and thank you for telling me about that, but you know that Sasuke won't stand for this. ...So please tell him."
Later that night...
He could see the cheerful blonde youth walking away with his back towards the house. Dinner was very fulfilling, but now that it was time to go home.... The weather was a little chilly outside and Kakashi was shivering against the cold night breeze, waiting for his little sister to come out and walk him home. Walk him home. What a funny thought. Here he was, standing outside his student's house, who his little sister was now engaged to, waiting for her, who, by the way, was only recently released from the hospital, and now was insisting that she walk him back to his home in this dark - dark - and cold night.
"You know... I don't think that this is a good idea," he said, sighing as she stepped out the front door.
"Huh?" she replied in surprise.
"I'll just say good night here, I don't want to drag you out like this. Besides... how would it look like if I get walked home by my kid sister," he said, chuckling as he blocked her from moving any further. Pouting, Yuki crossed her arms in front of her.
"Okay. But there's still something I've been meaning to tell you."
"Hmm? Did you lose any of your things?"
"I-... no, but-"
"Sasuke treating you alright?"
"Yes, he is, but-"
"You got a job!" Kakashi exclaimed with a mixture of his self-assumed surprise and worry. "It's too early to get a rough assignment, so-"
"No!! Please hear me out, Kakashi-niichan!" He went quiet at that and started to stare at her. Even though she got what she wanted, the sudden blast of attention she was getting was making her uncomfortable. "Remember when I was in the hospital, you were worried that I was always cold?" The elder brother nodded quietly. "I really should have told you.... But I needed to wait until I was ready. And I'm telling you now...." At that point she became speechless. No matter how she thought about it, there was no good way of telling it to her brother. Taking in a deep breath as she resolved herself, she pushed down some of her clothes to show him part of the seal. Immediately his eyes widened.
"Wh-"
"It's the Fuyu Seishin," she cut in. "I had it sealed in me. That's what's been keeping my body temperature low."
Re-entering the house after her brother left, Yuki suddenly felt like some weight had been pushed off her shoulders. Sasuke couldn't help but notice her sudden relief. ...But he had something else on his mind.
"Sasuke-kun?" Yuki said aloud, after glancing over at him and realising that he was looking a little tense. She saw him frown and then angrily look away. Yuki tried to approach him but he seemed to get even more so irritated. "Hey...."
"Naruto told me," he said, forcing his voice out so it sounded slightly threatening. It worked. At the words, Yuki's pulse hastened its pace. Naruto told him.... just what did he tell him? Didn't Naruto promise...?! Her panic increased as she realised that she was being slowly pushed against the wall, hands pinned her there by the shoulders. "Care to guess what?" Yuki gulped down painfully as the tense pressure increased. His face was edging closer and closer to her own. It would have been a romantic scene if it weren't for the piercing look his eyes were giving her. It seemed to peel ever layer of her mind... looking... searching for answers. "He mentioned that you don't seem to have accepted me yet as your fianc-"
"It's late, we really should clean up," she cut in quickly, trying to rouse herself away from the terrifyingly hypnotic gaze at the same time. "Don't you have training tomorrow? You should have some rest for tonight - I heard you completed some hard missions today."
"Yuki-" he tried to press some more, but to no avail, she didn't respond and successfully squirmed out of his hold. He stared at her back in frustration as she began to retreat into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. "It appears to be that-," he began slowly as he approached the doorway. He saw her glance up at him and then return her attention elsewhere. "Shikamaru's team has arrived earlier than expected."
"Oh?"
"I did mention before - it was planned that I leave with Kiba and Sakura the dawn after they arrive."
"I see, so that's why Sakura-chan said that she couldn't come today. She must be busy preparing for the mission."
"Yuki-" he said again, in a more gentle tone, hoping dearly to get her attention this time. He was a little ticked off her too, especially after finding out that she really didn't think of them as a couple... more of cohabiting colleagues apparently, but to see her not even want to breach the topic.... It was hard for him to accept that. Didn't they just...? Weren't they happy together just yesterday? Why was she trying to distance herself now?
"Get some sleep, why don't you?" he heard her say softly. Her head was bent over the counter - and he couldn't exactly tell what she was doing at that moment. "I'll prepare a medical kit to help you out for your mission." Angry at her nonchalance, he finally let loose of the tension that had been building up inside him and punched the wall right next to him. The surroundings became deathly silent all of a sudden - save for the sound of part of the wall cracking.
"Don't be so calm," he said, the tone of his voice was so obviously filled with suppressed anger. His eyes flashed red for a fleeting moment, telling her that he was really serious about it. "Yuki, you agreed to live here with me and and with that agreement came the impression that you'd also accepted our engagement."
"I never said anything like that," she said, looking up at him a little fearfully. He caught the fear in her eyes and found himself become even angrier. Perhaps not at her, but at himself for making her feel that way. Nevertheless, he could not immediately stop himself from moving forward to pin her down against the counter.
"I am a normal man, Yuki. You should have thought more deeply before deciding to cohabit with one," he growled. Sasuke saw her eyes widen in terror and it suddenly hit him. He pulled himself immediately away and staggered backwards to give some space between them. He'd almost forgotten. He nearly forgot the terror she'd gone through in the Hidden Sand. He nearly forgot that she was still a little unsure of herself around men. Around him. Sasuke felt hate towards himself for nearly forgetting. "I'm sorry. You don't have to be afraid," he said, looking away in shame. Looking at her steadily in the eye, he waited for the terror to pass before slowly edging forward - ever so slowing giving her a kiss on the forehead. "I said that I wouldn't force you into anything, didn't I?"
Making sure that his movements were slow - slow enough to reassure her, he moved away and stepped out of the kitchen. Giving her one last look before leaving. "Take care. In case I don't see you in the morning." With that he left the room - leaving Yuki behind, slightly breathless from what had just happened.
It was, in short, surprising. She hadn't thought that Sasuke could act that way. She didn't think that all the bad memories would come up again so suddenly. She could feel her limbs still shaking from the shock. Allowing herself some relief, she let her legs sink her down to the floor as she clutched her heart - as if it could stop it from racing. ...For a brief second there, in place of Sasuke's menacing face was the face of a stranger... one of those... people that had held her down and attempted to rape her. It was an awful memory. Just thinking about it again was making her eyes water in tears. For just a single second her heart felt like it had stopped beating.
Sasuke....
Even for all that he just did, she couldn't find a way to not forgive him for scaring her. It was her fault anyway. Her own fault. But how could she do it? How could she accept someone to be a partner of hers in marriage? How could she? That wasn't what she was trained to do. That wasn't what she was brought up to accomplish.
"I'm sorry, Sasuke," she said voicelessly to the now-empty kitchen. "I couldn't- I just-" She started sobbing quietly. "I'm sorry."
