Disclaimer: Naruto co. don't belong to me. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
AN: Here's why I've been busy lately: I'm going to Japan in April. ...Yup, seriously. I'll be studying there for my degree - so it's been pretty busy around here packing and stuff. Anyways- here is chapter 21. -by the by, assume that most Konoha-nins are now aware of the Kyuubi in Naruto for this story. (I re-edited and replaced this chapter- as I found out that some punctuation marks had 'disappeared' after I uploaded it. If there are any inconveniences, I'm sorry)
(1) nindo means 'way of the ninja', just like how bushido means, 'way of the samurai'.
Chapter: Acceptance
She was sleeping so soundly, Naruto had to check twice to make sure that she was only sleeping - and not anything else. She'd terrified him when she just collapsed on the floor in front of Tsunade's door. Kakashi was, for a change, pacing nervously by the door, waiting for the Hokage to come back. Tsunade had instructed them to wait by Yuki while she was briefed by the runners who were carrying reports of whatever damage the village had so far incurred. At least the village was safe. For now.
"Tsunade-baba," Naruto exclaimed when the long wait was over. Tsunade briefly glared at him before returning to her previous pace.
"It appears that all the ruckus has died down," she stated, catching the eyes of both Naruto and Kakashi. "However, we've only been able to obtain minimal information..." She sighed heavily. "You both did great- coming back uninjured. All the others have been injured... to some level of severity."
"We didn't," Naruto began - but for the first time in his life, he could not find the proper words to explain.
"She released her seal," said Kakashi, having known exactly what the younger boy was about to tell her. "The Fuyu Seishin took care of most of them." Tsunade bowed her head slightly - looking solemn, and perhaps even a little tired. "It must have been a new technique the Kazekage taught her - because I'd only ever seen that technique around the Hidden Sand Village."
"Yes. I'm aware of that," she replied tiredly. Both Naruto and Kakashi went alert at that - signaling to her that there was a need for a little explanation. "Gaara-dono, when he was here, reported a variety of things to me about Yuki's body. One was of course - her lack of sense of touch. Pressure, pain, that could all be felt - but hot, cold, cool -those kind of feelings she'd never be able to feel properly again. Her sense of touch changes according to the mood of the Fuyu Seishin."
"That thing has moods?" Naruto asked, flabbergasted.
"Unlike the Kyuubi sealed in you, the Seishin that resides in Yuki does not live in a cage. It is free to wander through her body and consciousness at its own will." Kakashi swore under his breath, joining his eyebrows together in frustration. "But," she emphasized. "It seems that it has taken quite a liking to her... which is why she's been able to handle it... for most of the time."
"What was she thinking?" Kakashi said harshly, facing the wall, clenching and unclenching his fists in frustration. He hadn't any objection before... but these new found conditions were titling his opinion about it towards the negative.
"About her condition right now," she continued. "It's not something new either. It happened once back in the Hidden Sand. ...Once her body starts feeling some numbness, in order to get rid of it, she has to allow the Seishin to be released, until such a time it becomes meek enough again to be resealed."
"You mean like taking that spirit out for a walk."
"Simply put, yes."
"So why is she like this now," Kakashi asked, tilting his head to the bed where Yuki was lying very very still.
"Resting. Putting it as you did - walking things like 'spirits' out take a lot of energy. You should know, Kakashi - your dogs are hard enough to handle," Tsunade said lightly, trying to smile for all three of them. "She'll be alright in a bit. ...In the mean time, I have a job for the two of you. It seems that I will need both of you to search for Sasuke. And bring him back."
Dusk found the same two males - Naruto and Kakashi, readying themselves to leave the village.
"Yuki should be awake by now, right? Kakashi-sensei," Naruto asked, tilting his head towards his silver-haired instructor, giving him a curious look because Kakashi did not give any notice of having heard him.
"I hope you're prepared," Kakashi said seriously, finally turning to his blonde student.
"Of course! I am Uzumaki Naruto!" he hooted proudly. After some tense moments his mood dampened, and he quickly turned somber. "I didn't think that we'd be told to go off so soon after the attack."
"There's nothing else we can do here," said Kakashi. "For now," he added as an after thought. "Well, stop thinking like that and focus on our new mission. We have to get Sasuke and his team back here safely. And quickly."
The two left the village with equally serious looks on their faces, and the same amount of anxiety and determination that usually interceded in the beginnings of any mission. Yuki, was still sleeping - quite heavily, back at Tsunade's offices.
She only woke up late the next day - or early the next morning, as you wish, with heavy eyelids and a dull state of mind. At first, she couldn't figure out where she was... and then all of a sudden all the images of what had happened started crashing in on her mercilessly. She remembered that there was an attack. She remembered releasing the Seishin. The Hokage's office... and then, it was all blank.
The girl looked around her slowly, finding the room to be rather empty and sparsely furnished. She'd seen the room before, and assumed that she was back in Konoha. As she moved to leave the bed, she heard the bed sheets rustle, and something else. It was a note. The sheet of paper had been placed on her lap and was about to slip off to the floor as she moved her legs. Quickly she caught it and scanned it through.
It was from Tsunade - explaining what had happened to her; attached were some prescriptions to speed up her healing process. All of a sudden she felt gutted. Like a sharp knife had been stabbed clean through her - it was regret. She allowed the unpleasant feelings overcome her as her eyes started swelling with tears.
"I shouldn't have had the Seishin sealed in me," she thought, sobbing quietly to herself. It upset her, to say the least. A ninja of Konoha was supposed to be ever-skillful. Ever-reliable. Ever-efficient. And there she was. Her skills slowly deteriorating. She couldn't sense temperature. Her reliability... crumbling. She couldn't judge when her body would start acting up on her. And her efficiency... god, she was supposed to be good at her job! Now look what had been happening because of her.
She'd betrayed the Hyuuga-Uchiha pact - for being willful and then so denying her obligations for being an Uchiha descendant. She had the Seishin sealed in her so she could gain more power. But what did she get in return? The spirit was slowly eating her up from the inside. Her body was not her own anymore. It was the Seishin's vessel.
Her body was no longer her own. That was exactly what she wanted to avoid in the first place. That was precisely why she didn't want to give in to the pact. And she threw her own principles away by giving her body to an entity. And for what? For power. She'd practically sold her life for power.
She sold her soul... for power. And it was eating her up. Gnawing gently. Painfully. Sweetly. Ravenously.
Trying to get a grip on herself, she pulled herself out of the bed and groggily moved to the exit. There was barely anyone around to notice her heavy-hearted state - the one good point at least for that moment. She didn't feel like explaining her tears to anyone.
She reached the Uchiha's home relatively safely. No one even glanced her way as she headed down to that part of the village. The walls of the house were both cool and cold against her skin - somehow making her feel much more bitter about her situation. -Then all of a sudden her eyes started throbbing painfully.
Yuki practically kneeled over at the intensity of the pain. It wasn't just some throbbing pain in her eyes, it reached out to her temples and a part of her forehead. Even her eyes... there was some weird throbbing near her pupils. It was making her vision all blurry. Stretched. She could make out the corridor at one point, and tried to move her legs. And then all of a sudden- it was dark again.
"Yuki-san!" There was some weird loud voice shouting at the doorway. It sounded somewhat like... Nara Shikamaru. "Yuki-san!" the male voice hollered again. This time, the sound seemed much clearer. Louder.
"Tsunade-sama did say that Yuki would have gone straight here right," said a second voice. "Some witnesses even said that she hasn't left the house... as yet." Neji? What was he doing there too?
Groggily she shook herself awake, rubbing her eyes in the process. Dully, she heard Shikamaru call out her name one more time as she found dried tear marks on her face.
"We should break the door down," said one of the voices outside. This alerted her, and caused her to immediately dash off to clean up her face. She was back in less than a minute witnessing their voices arguing against each other through the front door.
"They all say that she's here, and there are even fresh tracks leading right to this door," Neji said stubbornly. "We should check inside the house," he repeated, firmly this time. She heard Shikamaru sigh irritably.
"Breaking down the door seems too much though," he said. Yuki heard some shuffling and then suddenly a burst of chakra. Neji must have activated his byakugan.
"Yuki," she heard heard the youth say incredulously. Smiling sheepishly at the door, she waved her hand. Then she felt quite stupid- seeing as how any passing person would only have seen a silly girl waving at the door.
"Sorry about that," she said as she unlocked the said door. She found the two- Shikamaru with an irritable look and Neji with an alert albeit curious expression on his face. Suddenly conscious of her appearance, she realised that she was sporting the same soiled uniform the day the village was attacked... how long was that ago? ...And it was morning now. Had she only blacked out for some hours? Or had it been days?
"We'd been calling for nearly half and hour," said Shikamaru exasperatedly. "Did you plan to sleep in late?" he grumbled.
"My apologies, Shikamaru-san. I really wasn't expecting any visitors," she said sheepishly. She opened the door a little wider and stepped aside. "Would you like to come in?"
"No. Our business is urgent," informed Neji.
"Yes. We've been given a mission. You, Neji and me." Yuki gazed thoughtfully from the Nara's expression to the Hyuuga's and then back to Shikamaru. "We have to depart before noon. Of course, this is provided that you are well..." It was Shikamaru's turn to bestow her a thoughtful look.
"I uh..." she began uncomfortably. "How long ago was the attack?" she asked, when their previous conversation seemed to have paused.
"Yesterday... Are you well?" So... she was out for another few hours only. ...That was relieving.
"Yes. Just a little disoriented. Please go on," she urged. "Our mission"
"We have to cut off Akatsuki's legs," said Shikamaru. "We found out that their organisation has been recruiting missing-nins and some rogue ninja too- and we have to eliminate them before they can send them to attack us here again." That was brief. But wait-
"Are we attacking Akatsuki?" she said, bewildered- and she could feel her eyes go round. Her question was met with equally serious nods. After a moment of tense silence Shikamaru took a step back.
"We should get ready. Rendezvous at the western gates. We start hunting in three hours."
It seemed like there wasn't enough time to prepare, but it was enough. Hunting Akatsuki was no easy deal, even going out in a team with Shikamaru and Neji - the chances of finding any traces were still slim. It meant that they all had to travel lightly. However, Akatsuki being as dangerous as they were, it meant that they also hard to be well-armed. That was no easy feat -trying to travel light with as many good weapons as possible.
She finally decided to bring a pair of long swords- two katana of different sizes strapped to her back, with barely any other weapons; and she donned a fresh anbu uniform, mask already tied to her face. Just like how it usually was. Just like before... before her identity was revealed. She was a full-fledged anbu again. And it felt rejuvenating.
"Ready?" Shikamaru asked at the instant she stepped out of the shadows.
"Before we go, Shikamaru-san, Neji-san. There is something about me that you both need to be aware of. It's about the Fuyu Seishin."
"Jeez... I could almost swear that that demon is just about as bad as the Kyuubi," Shikamaru grumbled loudly. They were now standing over the ruins of their last assault - several bodies now being burned to ashes by the ever-diligent Hyuuga. The squad leader was resting under the cool shade of a tree, a little away from the path of the bloody stench that was covering the area. Yuki was standing over him.
"Spirit, Shikamaru-san," she corrected with a smile. "It's not a demon." The youth rolled his eyes upward and then shrugged it off. "Besides, you shouldn't say that sort of thing aloud." He looked up from his sitting position at her thoughtfully.
"You were much meaner back then," he said. Yuki looked down in surprise. Meaner? Her? "Before this whole deal with you demoting yourself to jounin - whatever the reason that was, and then taking back your position in the anbu squadrons. You used to be quite callous." Callous?
"I agree with him. I'd heard stories far and wide on how hard-willed the anbu captain was," Neji said, coming up in front of them. Yuki glanced at the clearing once to make sure that all the bodies were already burning or were still burning, without the fire touching the trees. Then she returned her attention back to Neji and Shikamaru, who were both staring at her. "Are you upset?" asked Neji out of the blue. At least, it was quite sudden to her, until she realised that her mask was still on so they couldn't tell what facial expression she was making. Her silence could have easily interpreted as her being upset.
"Oh, not at all," she said, taking the mask off, to reassure them. "I suppose I was rather unfeeling back then," she chuckled.
"Exactly so. Quite inhuman, I'd heard," said Shikamaru. "And it all stopped after some time... even then, your subordinates still feared you... Then again, they're just rumours." He looked at her probingly - she knew that he wanted to find what the real truth was. "Well?"
"I was taught to be ruthless, Shikamaru-san. Silent, unwavering, efficient. Duties are to be carried out quickly, and if there were any problems, it had to be smoothed over immediately. That was the way I was taught in being an assassin. My nindo1. At least... until my duties of watching over Team 7 officially started."
"What happened then?"
"Team 7..." she hung her head. "They used to be a rather clumsy bunch weren't they? Trouble everywhere they went - I went nuts trying to cover for them." Shikamaru let out a sudden hoot of laughter and then quickly corrected himself, turning his head away as he resumed his serious expression.
"Well," he said as he stood up. "I can see how that broke your composure." He paused and surveyed the area. "We should move on. It's almost dark, and we still have a ways to go."
A few days later...
"This brings back old memories." The young Nara choked. There was a line of blood coming out of his mouth... the inside of his upper lip was punctured and the outside cheek was looking a little bruised.
"What do you mean?" Yuki responded as she took out her medi-pack and started to treat him. Her position in that team required that she took over most of the treatment of wounds that would be needed. Shikamaru was, of course, the team leader, and Neji was their powerhouse. At the moment, Neji was, again, on clean-up duty, and Shikamaru was lying down quite still in the middle of the clearing - injured.
"I remember... one of those missions in the past..." he said slowly. His eyes weren't directed at her, but instead towards the sky, where he could calm down while watching the clouds. "I nearly lost my leg... and my team at that time..." Was completely eliminated. Oh, she remembered. Those were hard times. Sad times.
She remembered quite clearly. It was the day Tsunade-sama had ordered the anbu and jounin to combine forces and disperse, in order to seek out and rid Itachi before his capture. Both she and Shikamaru were on the same team. But when the climax of the battles came... and Sasuke was fighting it out one-on-one with his brother, the rest of them were being slaughtered by the remaining members of Akatsuki. She recalled every single person who'd died that day. Each one who had fallen...
"It's no good to dwell on such memories," she said as she shook herself from her sudden reminiscing.
"It was like... a never ending fight," he muttered. "Tch. We has so little forces. And the Akatsuki were too powerful at that time... it was pure luck that they decided to back off when Itachi was captured." He grumbled a little about how unbelievably tiresome it all was. "Just like how it is now... our village... is weakening."
"It's not," Yuki said firmly.
"Face it. We are weaker that we were ever before. We lost too many people four years ago - came out of that war with only one prisoner, and we didn't even actually defeat anything. And now... we are paying the price for keeping that man prisoner. He's escaped... now he's going to turn back, and hunt us all down."
"Really?" Yuki said exasperatedly. "This is so unlike you to be so pessimistic."
"Yeah, well, that happens when you can barely feel your arm you know, and much less sit up," he said sarcastically. Yuki heard Neji come up near them, chuckling.
"The great Nara Shikamaru, finally bemoaning his worries. I am honored to witness such an occurrence."
"Don't encourage him," Yuki reprimanded playfully. She then turned her attention back to Shikamaru and said, "Besides, this fight will end. We will defeat Akatsuki this time for sure; and Konoha will be in its glory once again." Shikamaru grinned.
"You make it sound really good," he said. She nodded.
"There. I've finished," she said triumphantly as she leaned away after having treated his wounds. "Rest a bit. We can move on when night falls."
"It'll be too late by then," said Shikamaru. Both Neji and Yuki looked at him quizzically. "We slipped up this time. Now they know to look out for us. ...We put them on alert." Yuki frowned at that. "Now they'll be on the watch for a three-person team. We might have put all our comrades who are outside the village now in danger."
"Did you ever figure out what the target of Akatsuki is?"
"It's the village," Neji answered for him when he didn't respond right away. "The attack the other day? It was directed to the village."
"Then I hope that they're all okay back there," she said somberly.
"We all have to pull our weight," Shikamaru grunted. "It's just that ours isn't protecting our village. Our mission - what we are doing now, is to attack them, before they can attack us. That way, once they finally decide to strike the village head on - by then we'd have cut off all their small fry. If we complete this mission... then all we have to worry about when we get back... is to hunt down the big fish. And this time, I must suggest that we make sure that Itachi - will never be able to go against us again."
It was a chilling speech that Shikamaru made. Heightened by the fact that what he said was all true. Too true that it made all their heads spin. Neji and Yuki supported him as they started moving again in the night time, and only let him go off to walk on his own when it was dawn. The poor leader was only able to start running again in his usual pace by the late afternoon.
"There was something I'd been meaning to ask, Yuki-san," Shikamaru began as they took a rest. Yuki nodded for him to go on. "Why live with Sasuke if you don't mean to marry him?" The question was shot so suddenly that she nearly fell of the rock she was sitting on in surprise. Her first reaction was to turn to look at Neji - to see how he would react, seeing that he was part of the initial conspiracy to put her and Sasuke together. Neji simply shrugged in reaction.
"It's no secret," he said, locking his blank eyes to hers. She turned away uncomfortably. "I'm sorry to drag this out, but this has to end, Yuki." Shikamaru looked at both of them intently. "Unfortunately the elders think that they have been too lenient on you. They're about to push for a wedding date."
"How can they think of this matter with all this conflict going around them?"
"Do you care for him at all?" Neji shot back. His question was met only with silence.
"We should start moving before it gets too dark."
"It's not the time to be changing the subject," Neji cut in firmly. He willed Yuki to turn back and look at him, which she did, and then settled with trying to stare her down.
"Does Sasuke know?" Shikamaru interrupted. "About... that Seishin?"
"Kakashi-niichan and Naruto do."
"How did they get in this picture?" Neji commented suspiciously.
"You know, I don't particularly want to start chatting about my personal life," Yuki said indignantly as she stood up from her seat and started to try to move away. Neji stopped her with a disapproving glare. All she could do was turn her head away in her uneasiness of the situation.
"...So Sasuke is that important to you?"
"No he's not!"
"Then it should be no trouble to talk about," Neji responded just as swiftly. Yuki could not think of a reply quick enough. She interrupted him just as he was about to prod her some more.
"All my life, I've been taught- I have already dedicated myself towards protecting Naruto. Just as the Third wanted me to! Right from the day that I was found in the forests of Konoha, my life's mission had already begun! I don't need any distractions," she said irritably.
"Then what are you doing trampling around the forests here with us?" the Hyuuga said cooly. "If Naruto really needs a babysitter, shouldn't you be out there with him instead?"
"He's not a child, Neji," she said in her dear friend's defence. But it was her undoing, as she continued by saying, "Naruto can very well take care of hims-...s-self." It was a moment of realisation. Naruto could take care of himself.
He didn't need her looking out for him anymore. He didn't need her to constantly watch his back. ...She could afford distractions, because... Naruto didn't really need her anymore anyway.
"I've talked to Naruto," Neji said solemly, understanding that she'd just realised her position. "He doesn't want you to live on like that. And he's been very keen on getting Sasuke and you together. Doesn't that say something?" The poor girl looked shattered. "It's not that he doesn't need you at all anymore, Yuki," he interjected her thoughts gently. "It's just... time for you to let him go. ... How about it?"
"...Neji- I... You're right," she said, defeated - and her voice was quivering. "You're right," she repeated, with much more belief in it this time.
Neji knocking her back in track was just what she needed. He was absolutely right. Now that she realised that her duties of protecting Naruto had lessened, she could have time for herself. She had time for distractions. And maybe, she could now focus a little bit more on Sasuke. A little bit more on herself.
"Thanks, Nej-"
Suddenly there was a poof of smoke in the middle of their triangle - a Konoha-nin appeared in front of them, quite out of breath.
"Get back to the village. You are needed." The messenger then tossed a rolled up note to Shikamaru and promptly disappeared in another poof of smoke. He was only there for a second. Shikamaru took one look at the note and leapt to his feet, causing his two companions to immediately be at the ready.
"We've been called back." Barely any more instruction was needed, they immediately left in the direction of Konoha. "Tsunade-sama and Jiraiya-sama have been trying to defend the village, but they have been cut off, so our center is vulnerable. It seems that Kakashi has brought back Sasuke but something's gone wrong with Naruto."
Naruto!
"Hey," Neji said warningly as he grabbed her arm when she unconsciously attempted to speed up. She nodded back at him to show that she understood, and that she would keep their pace.
"Akatsuki has surrounded Konoha- it'll be impossible to sneak in, so we have to conserve our energy, and when we arrive, we have to bust our way in. We've been assigned to protect our centre."
"I can't believe that we'd have to break into our own village," Yuki thought in disbelief. "Will we be in time?" she asked aloud.
Shikamaru answered her question grimly, "I don't know."
