Here is another chapter, I won't type much here just because I always write way too much. So, here is chapter 5, what has been happening in Newport. Let's see....
It was Wednesday and Marissa had found herself alone once again. She didn't even have Seth or Ryan, not talking to them since Sunday. Marissa felt lost in the hallway. For the first time in her life, she was completely alone. She had no one. Sometimes it felt that way, but she had Ryan, Seth, Summer, even Luke. She had always had a confident. Now, she had nothing.
Marissa had barely gotten through school yesterday. Of course, no one knew about Summer. It was bound to be out by then. She wanted to go home. Call Summer. See how she was doing. But no calls for the first 72 hours. She hoped she would only have to deal with today and tomorrow like this. Then Summer would be all right. Of course, they'd have to deal with everything, like rumors and staring, but they knew how to handle it. They had been. Amazing to think Marissa and Summer used to own this school.
She finally got out of her car. Sitting in it for ten minutes was not good. She doubted she would be late. She didn't sleep for the last two nights, she missed her best friend. Walking into the school, she heard familiar voices.
"Did you hear about Summer Roberts?" A group of girls, headed by Holly Fisher, was in the middle of the hall gossiping. Marissa used to be a part of that group, actually the head of them all.
"I was there. She was like flipping out on John. I wanted to help, but I was like, afraid." Holly complained. She looked nothing like the girl who was worried about her sister in the hospital. Marissa wanted to see how Liz was. So she began to walk over.
"Isn't it weird? Your two old best friends both tried to kill themselves. Wouldn't you be next?" One of Holly's new best friends said.
"Nah. I'm not unstable." Holly blew it off. They still hadn't noticed Marissa.
"Don't talk about her like that." Marissa commented to them and they jumped.
"About who?" The girls looked at Marissa like she was a virus.
"Summer. She was your friend Holly, don't talk about her like that." Marissa didn't want to pick up a fight, but it seemed like she was.
"You were my friend too." She didn't know what Holly meant.
"My boyfriend cheated on me with you." Marissa accused.
"I wasn't the only one." Holly lost a bit of her evil grin that had been plastered on her face.
"Can we not talk about this? This wasn't the reason I came over. I kinda wanted to know how your sister was." Marissa watched as Holly's face fell. Holly looked away, holding back tears, and Marissa knew. Liz Fisher was dead. "I'm so sorry Holly."
"It's fine. It was her time to go." Holly was about to walk away, but she turned back to Marissa. "And hey, thanks. For reminding me of my loss." Holly commented sarcastically.
Marissa stood there for a second, stunned. What had just happened? She watched as Holly and her friends walked away. For a second, the real Holly had shown. But only for a second.
Marissa began to walk down the hall, alone again. She was pissed at the world, for leaving her like this. She hadn't tasted alcohol in ten hours. She was proud of herself. But a drink would be needed, sooner than later or she would lose it. Marissa hated being this alone. She had never been this alone before. A totally a new experience, only for the lonely.
Marissa felt a presence near her, and knew it was Ryan. She always felt this way when he was around. It used to make her happy, because they were together. But now, it saddened her, making her want the one thing she would never have: The past.
"Hey." Ryan said uneasily to her. She wasn't in a good mood, now she didn't want to talk.
"Hi." they continued walking down the hall, looking ahead.
"Listen, I'm sorry for some of the things I said on Sunday." Ryan knew all of them were alone, so he tried to be friends with Marissa. That's all he could do.
"Some?" Marissa refused to look over at Ryan. It was just like Sunday.
"Yeah, some. I can't apologize for everything I said." Ryan wished something would show him what to do. Spill everything or keep silent. Nothing came. So he kept silent.
"Fine." Marissa was still mad at Holly for what she said to Marissa. So Marissa took it out on Ryan.
"So, I should go. Check on Seth. For all I know, he could've started a fight." Ryan attempted to joke.
"Right, and you have to be the hero and punch someone out." Marissa snapped at him, stopping in the middle of the hallway to glare at him. Ryan stopped also, staring at Marissa awestruck. Marissa knew she shouldn't have said that. All Ryan was doing was being nice, and she vented her anger on him. She regretted what she said, but she couldn't get herself to apologize. Her face hadn't changed, was this a sign? Was her conscience telling her that they didn't belong? She wouldn't believe it, because she loved Ryan.
"Bye Marissa." Ryan left, holding no emotion in his face. He was hurt, because he knew if one person could really understand, it was Marissa. But she didn't care. So he kept his mouth shut.
Marissa stood there for another minute or so, reflecting on what had just happened. What had just happened? Ryan apologized and Marissa flipped out. Smart, Marissa thought. All she had wanted to do was talk to Ryan, and when he actually did, she freaked out.
She rushed to the bathroom, and went into the stall. She pulled out the medium sized bottle, unscrewing its' top. She began to chug it down.
Stupid. Idiot. Moron. Worthless. Hopeless. Helpless. The words ran through Marissa's head as all the liquor went down her throat. It was almost all gone. And it had been large, larger than she usually drank at school. And it had all gone down her throat.
Marissa had lost all sense of herself. She knew there was more liquor in her car. She couldn't go back out and pretend to think everything was okay. Because it wasn't okay. No one was happy anymore, and Summer leaving just made it worse.
Somehow, she stumbled out of school. She didn't remember much of that. She had gotten to her car. She remembered unlocking the door and sliding it. Getting more alcohol, but passing out before it could even touch her lips.
Marissa came to about two hours later. She didn't know how she got in her car. Her head ached. Too much alcohol. Shit. She couldn't go back in there, not even now. Oh well. So she missed a day of school. Big deal. It was Ryan's fault. She had to get out of here. Marissa put the key in the ignition. She had to leave. But where? Caleb's house would be empty by then. She headed there.
Seth watched Marissa drive away. What the hell? Why was she leaving now? They were only in the third class of the day. Seth hadn't talked to Marissa since Sunday. All three of them were mostly staying to themselves since Summer left.
He attempted to pay attention, but everything was all mixed together. Usually he understood French, but today, his mind was going a mile a minute. He couldn't stop thinking about Summer. What was she doing now? He hadn't talked to her or seen her since Sunday. He was going insane without her. Seth's dad would see her before Seth did, Sandy was her attorney. He was only doing it for Seth. Sandy and Kirsten had been bickering, but they both wanted the same thing. Sandy had to fight for Summer to keep Seth home.
Class ended and Seth headed to his favorite, but least favorite class. He liked it because he did enjoy to write, but hated it because it was the class where it happened. Everyday he walked past that same spot, it bothered him like hell. He didn't know much about the shooting, and he did want to know. Seth hadn't had time to dwell on the shooting and the people lost. He had changed so much since then, everyone had. An old Seth died in that shooting. He was never as happy as he tried to be before. Maybe it was because of Summer, but before, Seth wasn't let anywhere near Summer, and he was still a little happy. Everything was different now.
Seth walked alone to English class, he could've met Ryan, if he went out of his way, but he didn't feel like it. He entered the third floor class, and today a little less people stared. But they still stared. Conversation always ceased, and most of the eyes would follow him to his seat.
Seth saw Riley hang out with her punk friends, previously talking about some faux punk band. None of the school was actually punk. They fucking shopped at Abercrombie, and Aeropostale. Those places weren't punk.
Riley sat down in front of Seth, and dropped a note on Seth's desk. He unwrapped it and read, It'll get easier. He scribbled back, Thanks for the reassurement, but I doubt it. He handed it to Riley and saw her laugh a bit, then write something down. She passed it back: Heard about Summer Roberts. Knew you two were close. Sorry. The teacher looked away and Riley turned around.
"So what is the whole deal with Summer? I heard she's in a loony bin." Riley asked Seth.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Word got around pretty fast.
"Whatevs." And Riley turned back around. Seth wanted to see Summer. He wanted to know if she was okay. It would kill him until he knew. He wished he could leave like Marissa had. He couldn't. Kirsten drove him and Ryan to school. Marissa had refused, just like all this week.
Seth didn't want to go home. Kirsten and Sandy weren't really fighting that much, but it was hell to be there when they did fight. Ryan and Seth avoided Kirsten and Sandy a lot when they fought. They tried to divide the house. Neither Ryan nor Seth knew what they were fighting about. Summer and Seth were mentioned a lot, that's all he knew.
It was a free write time of month, and Seth began to think of what to write. He didn't know. Make up some story, or write about something that was happening to him. He had nothing. He enjoyed writing, but he never knew what to write about. Ideas weren't his best quality. Real ideas, yes. Story ideas, hell no. He decided to write about an outcast in a school. Very autobiographical.
Soon, he was on a roll. The sadness of this guy, all the bad things that happened to Seth. He paused for a moment. The shooting had come into his mind. This character would be someone who did a school shooting. Damn, this guy was Seth. How bad had those six guys had it in this school? Maybe they came last year. The water polo team would need some people to beat up.
This made Seth think. If Ryan never had coma to Newport, how long would've it been until Seth cracked? He hated this whole school. And before, he had not a single ally. Seth would've been one of the shooters. Get back at all the people who hurt him. Well, then there had to have been a connection between all the victims. 77 people had pissed off these guys so badly that they deserved to die. Who knows how many attempted shootings? No, if these guys really wanted the person to die, they'd make sure they died. Because they deserved to die. Seth deserved to die.
Seth stared at his paper, these thoughts running through his head. He hadn't deserved to live. He should've died. What had he done to these guys? There had to have been something Seth did to piss them off. But he drew a blank. What was there? He wasn't one to make fun of strangers. Wait, yes he was. But he usually just thought the stuff, didn't say it out loud. Had he like, tripped one of the guys? That wasn't something to get you on a hit list.
"Seth. Paper." Riley was yelling at him, breaking Seth out of his trance. She was staring at him, really pissed off. Was this something worthy of getting shot?
"What?" Seth didn't know what she wanted.
"Can I have your paper? Are you done with it? Because we have to pass them up."Riley thought Seth was cool, but really, he was just plain weird.
"Uh.......yeah." Seth made sure he was done and wrote his name on top. Riley grabbed it off his desk.
Seth was a little embarrassed, but he was really freaked out by what he was discovering. He had to know what he did to one of those guys to be picked out of a thousand students to die. Seth couldn't wrap his finger around it. People wanted him dead.
Or the six people had just shot at random. But that strangely wasn't as logical. He wondered if his mother kept the newspapers from then. Wait, no, that didn't matter. He had the internet.
Class ended, and Seth ran out. He wanted to leave. If Ryan really wanted to know where Seth was, he could call. But he should leave a message. So Seth texted to Ryan, Leaving school. See you at home later. Seth got off the staircase and paused for a moment at the hall. He could go down two different staircases. One way would take him down the hall, the second was right in front of him. He chose the second.
No one bothered him as he left school. He swore his school cared less after the shooting. Seth walked out the door, an icy breeze welcomed him. Not a soul was out there, he was alone, just what he wanted. Where to go? He was thirsty, maybe he could go to a gas station. What gas station was around here? Seth didn't know.
But he decided to just walk away from the rebel. What a rebel Seth was. Wow, how corny was that? He always knew he was corny, but not that bad.
Seth was off the school grounds. He was ditching school. Actually ditching school. Sure, he had missed full days, but he never left school after going to it.
Seth was living on the edge.
000000000000000000
School had ended, and Seth had timed his getting home perfectly. He met up with Ryan right at the end of the driveway.
"Hey man." Seth greeted Ryan.
"Hey. So, where the hell were you all day?" Ryan was left alone all day. He was like Seth, eating alone, no one to talk to.
"Well, I was just hanging out. Living on the edge. And hey, the rents do not have to know." Seth tried to get Ryan to not say anything.
"I won't say a word." Ryan didn't really care. They walked up the driveway in silence.
"Seth!" The boys heard Kirsten scream the minute they opened the door. They glanced at each other and walked to the kitchen.
"Good luck man." Ryan said to Seth when they went in. Kirsten and Sandy stood there, looking absolutely pissed. Ryan slipped through the kitchen, as Sandy and Kirsten stared at Seth.
"Hey guys." Seth greeted his not happy parents.
"Where the hell were you today? I'm typing up a report, and all of a sudden, I get that damn automated message from the school." Everyday Seth was in the coma, they got that automated message.
"Oh." Seth didn't know how to explain himself. He had forgotten about the automated message-thingy.
"What were you thinking? Just ditching school? Seth, it's your senior year, you've missed enough school already. What made you leave?" Kirsten was fuming, she hadn't even given Sandy a chance to speak. "Well?" Nor Seth. She was screaming at him.
"I'm sorry?" Seth didn't know how to answer. He wasn't ready to answer these questions.
"Seth, what is going on? Ever since you woke up, you've been different. What's wrong?" Sandy tried his luck at being good cop.
"I miss Summer." Seth whispered to his parents. He had gotten serious all of a sudden.
"Seth...." Kirsten began.
"Seth, I'll see her tomorrow. She'll get out. I promise." Sandy interrupted his wife.
"What if you can't?" Seth asked, voicing his fears. His eyes were full of sadness, now that he thought of Summer.
"I'm gonna try my hardest." Sandy tried to cheer up his son.
"I have to go." Seth left the kitchen as his parents called him back. He ignored them both, not wanting to deal with them. Everything was coming at him all too fast. That's why he left school. Too much was happening.
Seth went into his room and slammed the door. He wasn't going back to school, he couldn't deal with it. Ryan could do it, Seth couldn't.
If he focused hard enough, he could hear his parents fighting. But he didn't want to focus. He was about to go on the internet, but he wasn't ready. No, maybe later.
Seth needed to calm down. His mind was running haywire, he couldn't think straight. All he wanted was to be with Summer. And he couldn't have that.
"Seth." Sandy's voice was outside Seth's door. As he lie on the bed, he ignored Sandy. "Seth, can I come in?"
"Whatever." Seth mumbled to his father and the door opened. Sandy walked in, glaring at Seth.
"She's gonna het out." Sandy said to his son.
"Okay." Seth didn't look up at Sandy.
"Look at me when I'm talking." Seth rolled his eyes and looked up. "I saw that. Now, I'm doing this for you."
"So, you don't care about Summer at all. Just me. Great reasons, Dad." Seth snapped and looked away.
"Hey, you're putting words in my mouth. I didn't say that." Sandy wasn't too happy with Seth.
"You meant it." Seth mumbled.
"No, I didn't. Seth, what is wrong? Tell me. It's okay." Sandy wasn't going to leave. Both of them knew that.
"I miss Summer." Seth answered. He didn't want to talk about, especially to his dad.
"I know you do, but she's gonna come back." Sandy tried to put Seth's spirits up.
"When?" Seth turned back at Sandy, an unknown fear in his eyes.
"Maybe tomorrow, maybe some time after that." Sandy couldn't lie. He didn't know if he could get Summer out of the mental institute.
"So you're saying you can't get her out?" Seth was taking Sandy's words and changing them.
"Seth, I'm gonna try my hardest. I'm going against her father and well, I don't know. But I'm gonna try. I can promise you that." Sandy said to Seth.
"Now a whole lot to promise, Dad." Seth told his father.
"Seth, if she does get more time in there, you'll get to see her. There are two to four visitation days a month. It won't be so bad." Sandy tried to figure out when Seth had redistanced himself from Kirsten and him. He had been close with his parents, up until the shooting. After waking up from the coma, Seth picked up fights with Kirsten and defied them constantly.
"Okay." Seth was sick of talking. He wanted to be left alone.
"Are you sure?" Sandy was confused. Seth was all of a sudden okay with what was happening.
"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine. Listen, I have this project and it's due soon so I should really get to work on it." Seth got off his bed and began to push his dad out of his room.
"Oh, okay, but if you wanna talk......" Sandy began.
"Yeah, I know. But, I gotta work now...so bye." Seth got his father out of his room. Finally. Seth couldn't stand that talk. He needed to be alone, just to think.
Seth debated whether or not to go on the computer now. He wasn't sure if he was ready to go on the internet. He could go, but just not search up on the shooting. Because his head was too messed up to think. He could not concentrate.
Downstairs, Seth could hear Sandy go back into the kitchen. Kirsten was complaining, but Seth didn't care.
"How was he?" Kirsten asked Sandy when he came down the stairs.
"Pessimistic." Sandy answered.
"What should we do?" Kirsten felt bad for her son. She never could've gotten through all the stuff he had.
"What can we do? Other than what we are doing? This is his problem. He's in love with the girl. We can't change that." Sandy explained.
"It wasn't this hard when we were younger." Kirsten sat down.
"Yeah, I know. We didn't have to go through shootings. Well, I kinda did because I heard them occasionally in New York, but I was never shot and you lived here and I didn't even know there were bullets, or even a gun in Newport, because if you're rich and snobby, you can just...." He rambled.
"Sandy." Kirsten warned, her nerves growing thin.
"Right. Rambling. Sorry." Sandy apologized. "But, what I was saying, is that times have changed. Crime is high. Teens are susceptible to violence more and more. We can't do much more about this." Sandy told her.
"I know, I just wish we could help him more." Kirsten felt lost, her son was going through so much, and what could she do? Barely nothing.
"I do too., but some stuff he has to do on his own." Sandy said.
"I know that too. But the last time he had to do stuff on his own, it was last summer and he ran away." Kirsten pointed out.
"But we found him two weeks later." Sandy remembered last summer, when he got Seth's credit card report. They found where he had been and tracked him down.
"What if we hadn't? What if he hadn't used his credit card and we never found him? Where would we be then?" Kirsten knew it would've been worse.
"I don't know. But trust me on this. Everything will turn out okay." Sandy reassured his wife.
"I hope you're right."
Well, another chapter done. Good for me. I got the chapter title from the Motels' song, Only the Lonely. Good song, download it. Well, I have about one and a half more chapters written so I better get typing. Don't forget to review, you know I love them!
