Ah, a new chapter. Let's start fresh. This chapter is a lot different from how I usually write, but oh well. I hope you like what I did to Ryan, and again, Seth isn't in this chapter. Mainly this is a Ryan-Theresa, Ryan-Summer chapter. Summeran! I love Summeran. Okay, I will leave you to the story, so read on:

"Withdraw from what, Ryan?" Summer asked him again, as he tried to get the words to form in his mouth. This was hard for him. He was going to tell Summer. Voluntarily. "Withdraw from what? You can tell me," Summer didn't know what to think now. What was Ryan hiding?

"About three years ago, I had problems," Ryan had never told anyone. This was big. "A lot of problems," He looked up at Summer, who was still confused. "I kind of did some stuff that landed me in some places," He was prolonging telling her.

"Like?" Summer was trying to fully understand Ryan. She was afraid of the answer.

"Drugs."

00000000

I need this to get me through

Can't resist and don't want to

Believe it I know it's true

I can't beat and don't want to try. . .

A fourteen year old Ryan was lying in his dark room, elated. It took the pain away, it took the reality away. His mother was drunk on the couch, she didn't go to work again. She did care, but her boyfriend was slowly pulling her down. Trey hadn't been home in a while. He was eighteen, he could deal.Ryan's mother kept losing interest in her sons, and his father had been gone for years. They were a broken home, but that was expected in Chino.

Ryan got thirsty, so he got up. He fell back at first, he should've seen that coming. Ryan closed his eyes, and tried to gain focus. It wasn't working quite well.

He fell back to his small bed, giving in. He did it again, it was pleasure.

Soon enough he had fallen asleep, and it was filled with nightmares of the life he had and dreams of one anybody wished for. Big house, happy family, smiles every so often.

When he woke up, it had become late. It was 9:30, and he had missed dinner. Not like there was one. His head was clean, so he figured he'd go see Theresa. She had gone to school that day.

Ryan left his closet-like room, and walked into the main room, where his mother was drinking on the couch, and her boyfriend was pulling food out of the refrigerator.

"I'm going out," Ryan announced to them, though he really didn't care what they thought.

"Hey, get back here. You gotta clean up this mess," Dawn's boyfriend, Mike, yelled at Ryan, who was at the front and only door.

"I didn't make that mess. You guys clean it up, you did it," Ryan pushed the screen door open as Mike started screaming obscenities. Ryan lit a cigarette, Theresa didn't know about his secret. He walked down the street, hearing the dogs howl and the cats jumping from garbage can to garbage can. The street lights flickered, and he saw a bunch of guys hanging out at a corner. No doubt Trey was with them.

It's more to me than you ever will know

Down here where the rest of us fell. . .

Ryan knocked on Theresa's door and seconds later, Theresa had opened the door and was pulling him to her room. He didn't mind it. Though he did drop his cigarette outside.

"I thought you weren't coming over," Theresa complained as she laid down on her bed. Ryan laid down next to her, noticing a math book on the bed. Theresa kissed Ryan, as they were a couple at that time.

"What's with the book?" Ryan asked, picking it up, flipping through the pages.

"Well, my mom yelled at me. If I didn't go to school, she would like, send me to military school. So I have to go all week and do my homework. I'm a little behind, and my mom is checking everything," Theresa picked up the notebook that had dropped off the bed earlier.

"She cares," Ryan commented, looking over at Theresa.

"But I don't. We're only gonna use basic math. Even when we get out of Chino, we're only gonna use the basics," Theresa commented. She was the more optimistic of the two.

"That's if we get out of Chino," Ryan corrected Theresa, who smiled.

"We'll get out of here, Ryan. One way or another. Now, you have to help me with this. I have no clue how to do this," Theresa took the math book from Ryan and found her page.

"First, I need to ask you for something. I need to borrow 125 bucks. My mom forgot to pay some bills," Ryan asked Theresa. True, the money was for bills, but Dawn didn't forget to pay the bills. Ryan had 'borrowed' some of her money.

"Um, I guess. I'll talk to my mom then. After we do these problems," Theresa didn't think much about it, because she knew Ryan's family. She had known them most of her life, since they moved from Fresno.

"Cool," Ryan was glad he had Theresa. She was amazing and a lifesaver.

They began the work, which was easy for Ryan, and he hadn't even been in class to learn any of the stuff. After that, Ryan and Theresa left her room and went into the kitchen where Theresa's mom was.

"Sure you can have the money. But Dawn needs some help. Or a better boyfriend," Theresa's mother answered after Theresa asked.

"I promise I'll pay you back," Ryan swore. He knew Theresa's family didn't have a lot more money than Ryan's, and this was a lot of money.

"Okay. You're a good kid, Ryan," Theresa's mother told him, though he felt the opposite.

Waste away with nothing left to show

While I'm in this perfect hell. . .

00000000

Summer sat staring at him in disbelief. Drugs? No way. Ryan Atwood was too strong to fall to drugs. He was lying.

Of course, Ryan wasn't much of a liar, at least to Summer. He told people the truth. Except for earlier. But that was to protect Summer. So he couldn't be lying now. Summer wanted him to be lying.

Ryan wished Summer would say something soon, because it was bugging him. He had finally told one of the biggest things he ever would go through, and the person refused to talk. Did she believe him? He couldn't tell. She was just staring at him.

"Wow," Summer finally said, that was all she could say. She didn't know what to think. Ryan did drugs. Those were words she never thought she'd think.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed, hoping she'd say more. She wasn't. Why couldn't she? He needed her to talk. Their silence was bothering him so much.

"This is just...um, wow," Summer had no clue how to say anything to Ryan. She was blown away. Ryan did drugs. She had to wrap her mind around that. "So, you did drugs?"

"Yeah, I did. But not anymore. Haven't done them in a while," Ryan thought about when he did drugs. He hated himself then.

"I know this is huge for you, and it's huge for me somehow too, but I don't see how this has to do with you understanding being in here," Summer still wasn't quite following.

"You haven't gotten it, Summer, have you?" Ryan thought Summer already understood.

"Gotten what, Ryan?" Obviously she hadn't gotten it. She was confused again.

"Summer, I was in here," He told her, waiting for her reply. Summer just looked at him. He couldn't have been in here. He was Ryan. He was strong.

"Don't lie. You weren't in here," Summer wasn't going to believe it. He had lied earlier, he was lying now. It was too farfetched. Ryan couldn't have kept that secret from Newport.

"Yes, I was. Ask Sandy and Kirsten, they know. Ask the receptionist downstairs, she remembers me. Ask my old psychiatrist, John. Ask Marie, the Art Therapy teacher, they all know me," Summer was awestruck. "Ask Nicole."

Wait a second, Ryan knew Nicole? Summer shot her head to where Nicole was, now reading a tattered Stephen King novel.

"Go ask her. She'll tell you," Ryan didn't care now. He didn't want to be called a liar. This was one of the biggest things in his life. He'd never forget it, even though he tried.

00000000

Now it's got a hold of me

I don't think I can make it through this

Now it's got a hold of me

The less I do the more it makes no sense. . .

Theresa hadn't seen Ryan in three days. He hadn't been in school, and he didn't come over at all. She was worried about him. Had something happened? What if he had gotten beaten up badly? What if his mother kicked him out? No, she wouldn't kick out a fourteen old. A sixteen year old, but not fourteen. Theresa was going insane not talking to Ryan. If he ever left forever, she'd lose it.

She knocked on the Atwoods' front door, surprised to find Dawn come to the door. Didn't she work?

"Hi, Mrs. Atwood. Is Ryan home?" Theresa asked Dawn, who had a cigarette in one hand, and a drink in the other.

"I think so," Dawn didn't check much on her son, he could handle himself. She cared about him, but her life was so screwed up now.

Dawn let Theresa in and she walked into the familiar setting. Sure, this wasn't as nice as her home, and hers wasn't that good,but still.

"Oh yeah, my mom wanted to know if you got to pay all your bills," Theresa asked Dawn before she went to see Ryan.

"Why would she want to know?" Dawn never got the money.

"We gave Ryan 125 dollars to pay your bills," Theresa commented. Why didn't Dawn know? Ryan had to be hiding something.

"Never told me about any money. Ryan, get out here!" Dawn was pissed. She wanted to know where that money was.

"I'll go get him," Theresa made a quick exit, heading to Ryan's room. Dawn was already cursing up a storm, and Theresa was glad to get Ryan.

But why didn't Dawn know about the money? What had Ryan done with the money? Something was up.

I'm walking pollution who's drained by delusions

On the verge of destruction I cave in to abduction. . .

"Hey Ryan..." Theresa started, as she went to his doorway. She didn't do any farther, staring into Ryan's eyes. He had stopped dead in his tracks. Theresa was appalled at him, holding powder. He had already done it a few times, and he was out of it. But not enough to know what the hell was going on. He was going to be found out. Theresa didn't even want to look at him.It made her sick. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Ryan feebly lied, bags now under his eyes. He had lost weight, and his hand shook. He was a complete and utter mess.

"How long?" Theresa asked. She wondered how long he had been hiding it. Why hadn't she seen it or noticed it? It was so noticeable now, and yet, it never phased her. He wasn't even Ryan anymore.

"I don't know," Ryan was screwed. He should've been more pre-cautious. This was bad. She would tell. Theresa cared about him.

"How long?" She asked, louder. This was what Ryan didn't want to happen. His mom would come in for sure. And everything would be over.

"A few months, I suppose," Ryan answered truthfully for once.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Dawn had walked in, immediately pissed. She saw Ryan, and found her heart breaking. Mike had followed Dawn.

"You're wasting people's money on this shit?" Mike yelled at Ryan. He pushed Theresa and Dawn out of the way.

"What, like you don't?" Ryan lifted his weak body up. He was so sick of Mike. Dawn kept picking the wrong guys, but this one was the worst. Her boyfriends usually just took her money, but they kept getting worse. On a few occasions, Ryan saw Mike hit Dawn, and he had hit Ryan once.

Dawn had been dating Mike for a few months, just a little more than when Ryan started drugs. Mike was where Ryan got the drugs.

"What did you say?" Mike tried to seem like a good guy, he had fooled Dawn, but not Ryan.

"You steal my mom's money all the time, you asshole," Ryan had already developed the hero complex. He had it since he was little.

"You're gonna regret saying that," Ryan had a false sense of reality at that point. He thought he was stronger than he really was. The drugs did that to him. He couldn't see right, and thought he was almost invincible. He wasn't near that.

Mike punched him, and Ryan immediately fell to the ground. His head was pounding, and he tried to get up, and almost succeeded, but Mike punched him again.

Theresa didn't know what to do. She couldn't help Ryan, she was stuck. Dawn felt almost the same way. But she had to stop Mike.

"Mike, stop!" Dawn yelled. "Go in the other room, Mike, now," Dawn didn't dump him, she just didn't want him hitting Ryan. She cared to an extent, but that was it.

Mike left, his fist bloody, as was Ryan's face. He was weak, weaker than he ever was.

"Are you all right?" Dawn asked Ryan, clearly concerned. She knew he was the only hope of their family, and he was throwing it away.

"I'm fine," Ryan answered, wiping the blood away. Dawn and Theresa walked closer. Theresa was scared because of what she just saw.

"No, you're not. You're getting help," The old Dawn Atwood had come back. The one who cared, the one who used to smile with her husband.

"We have no money," The Atwoods weren't as poor as they would become, since Dawn did go to work more than she would, and she earned money. She was smarter back then, she had decided to save money.

"Sure we do. I just got paid. And we got some money in the bank. You're getting help. I'm not giving up on you just yet," And that was when Dawn Atwood's fall began.

Thin blood I'm bleeding my pulse won't stop racing

Just as my heart explodes. . .

00000000

Summer looked at Nicole for a while, trying to let this sink in. She moved her glare to Ryan, who now looked to the ground. She was just amazed. Ryan Atwood had been weak. That was way too hard to comprehend.

"So do you believe me?" Ryan looked up at her, waiting for the answer.

"I don't know. It's kinda hard to understand," Summer wasn't so sure. She knew Ryan barely ever lied, but he had earlier. He would never lie about something so big as this, but it was so strange to think about Ryan being in here.

"Nicole," Ryan called her. She looked up at him, confused. He motioned for her, saying, "come here," also. Nicole for up and slowly walked over.

"What's up, guys?" Nicole asked, assuming everything was all right now. Summer wasn't dead.

"Was I here, Nicole?" Ryan asked her, trying to prove to Summer that he was.

"What?" Nicole didn't understand the question. She kind of knew what it meant, but she didn't want to say the wrong thing.

"Was I in here? Yes or no. Be truthful," Ryan hated to think back to when he was in here. He hated it. It had to be one of the worst times in his life.

"Yeah," Nicole answered softly, as Summer knew Ryan hadn't been lying.

"Wow, you weren't lying," Summer commented as Nicole looked at her.

"Why would I?" Ryan added, the truth was out and she believed it.

"I don't know. But how did you guys know each other?" Summer knew they didn't group girls and guys together in wards.

Nicole and Ryan looked to each other, remembering.

00000000No chance that I could win

Too hard to not give in

Ijust don't feel the same

Cause I'm the one to blame

Sometimes I can't hold on

And no one can help me. . .

A month had passed. Ryan had been in this place for a whole month. No drugs, no cigarettes. He was going insane.

Talk of reconstruction was going around his ward, but he didn't much care. He sat in the large game room, where the two wards connected, in the corner reading a book. Nurses usually came and sat with him. They tried to get him to engage in activities, but it wasn't working. The only times he did stuff with his other wardmates was when they played cards. He usually won.

All his homework was sent to him, along with the things he didn't do before. Ryan decided to just do the work, since he had nothing better to do. He was a loner here.

No one had come to visit him yet, not even Theresa, but she did send him stuff. She called him a few times, too. Ryan didn't talk much to his wardmates. They tried to talk to him, but it ended up in silence.

Most of his talking was done in John's office, where his life in Chino was evaluated. Ryan never got too deep, he learned long ago not to get too caught up in the past.

Ryan had already known why he did drugs, he didn't need a psychiatrist to tell him. It was his escape form his crappy life. He hoped never to hear that again. Too bad he would.

The nurses entered the game room, saying they had an announcement. It was what everyone wanted to know about. Maybe they'd get send home. Or maybe they had to be stuck here and endure the construction.

"So, you all will be sent to different places based on your last name. Most of you will see your therapist every three days for two weeks unless they say different. Tomorrow this will begin," The nurses announced and some people cheered. Ryan didn't understand why.

Ryan was assigned to go to the local hospital, on the psych ward. It was alphabetical, so he was near first on the list. Wonderful.

He packed his bag, and fell asleep after diner. Everyone was excited except him. He didn't belong here. That was the only thing he was sure of.

Morning came fast, he never got enough sleep. He dressed and grabbed his bag, following his roommate. They were put in groups and sent to vans. His group was the smallest. Ryan didn't say a word, he never did.

A half an hour later, the van reached the hospital, where they were sent to rooms. There were two beds in his room, so he would have a roommate. Great.

Ryan set his bag on the bed closest to the window, then looked out it. He'd be stuck in here for two weeks. They weren't going to be allowed out of their room a whole lot.

"Avery...here we go. This is your room, and there's your roommate," Ryan heard a nurse say at the doorway. He turned to see a girl, about his age, walk in, glaring at him. The nurse left and the girl threw her stuff on the other bed, not losing eye contact with Ryan.

I need this to be myself

It feels like I need some help. . .

"Hey," She greeted him, opening her bag. He saw clothes and other normal stuff in there.

"Hi," Ryan answered and opened his own bag, taking out his books and homework.

"What's that?" The girl asked him as she watched him place the books on the bed and close his bag.

"Homework," Ryan told her, not caring what she thought.

"You're doing homework? What the hell did you do to get in here?" She joked and pulled out a sock from her bag.

"There's nothing else better to do," He found it odd that he was talking to her. Ryan didn't even know her.

"True that. But you could play cards, or crap like that," She told him, taking a pack of cigarettes out of the sock. "You smoke?"

"Uh..." Ryan started, and the girl threw the cigarettes and a lighter over. "Thanks," He said, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it. He threw the pack and lighter back over.

"No prob," She lit her cigarette, closing the door also. The cigarette was heaven to Ryan. He hadn't smoked in a month. "I'm Nicole," The girl said to him.

"Ryan," He told her and opened the window the crack that they allowed.

They smoked in silence for a bit more, just enjoying the cigarettes. Ryan wished he could be smoking with Theresa at her house.

"So Ryan...what did you do to get into Willow Creek? Drugs? Cutting?" Nicole asked him. Usually guys didn't have eating problems, and Ryan didn't look like he had one.

"Drugs," Ryan was amazed that answered so easily. His old roommate could barely get anything out of him.

"Ah, same here. Is this the first time at an institution?" Nicole didn't care about being polite. It didn't matter.

"Yeah. Have you been in one before?" Ryan supposed she had, since she had asked him.

"Yep. Just once before though. The drugs keep pulling me in. Can't get away. It doesn't help that my friends slip shit in my drink so I get back on them," Nicole answered.

"Oh," Ryan didn't know how to react to her answer.

"So how long have you been in here?" Nicole was bored, so she talked to Ryan. He seemed nice. Quiet, but nice.

"A month," Ryan answered.

"How much left?" That was the more important question.

"Two months," Ryan couldn't believe he still had that much time left. It sucked.

"Better than me. I've got three more months. Only been in here for two weeks, but I'm kind of glad to be in here. I mean, no dealing with family, right?" Nicole figured Ryan had a tough family life. Otherwise, why would he have done drugs?

"Right," She was right. Ryan didn't have to worry about his mom for two more months. But he was constantly worrying about her. Were the bills being paid? Was everything okay?

"I'm so sick of my family. Parents fighting constantly, younger brother with all the attention, dead sister, brother who I haven't seen in four years. How about you?" Nicole shared her family dynamics to Ryan, she wanted to hear his.

"Dad in jail, Mom a drunk with abusive boyfriends, and brother who I barely see lately," Ryan didn't think his family was near as bad as Nicole's.

"Hmm...I don't think that beats mine. Though the dad in jail is pretty sucky," Nicole thought the same way.

She smiled at him and they returned to smoking in silence. Ryan didn't do his homework, what he planned to do. He just stared out the window, blowing another puff of smoke into the room.

Eventually, Nicole got bored again, and pulled out a deck of cards.

"You play?" She asked Ryan, who told her he played a little. "Well, you're gonna have to beat me. I'm pretty good."

Over the next two weeks, they played mostly and Ryan beat Nicole 80 of the time. Playing cards was much more enjoyable than doing work, or anything like that.

At the end of the two weeks, Ryan and Nicole totaled up their winnings.

"So how much do I owe you?" Nicole asked as they packed their bags.

"Um...about fifteen hundred," Ryan thought about it in his head. "Yeh, exactly fifteen hundred."

"You know you're never gonna see that money, right?" Nicole picked up her bag.

"I figured," Ryan picked his up and they walked out of the room.

It's too late to save myself

Or it's just in my head. . .

00000000

"So? How do you guys know each other?" Summer was sick of repeating herself.

"We shared a room when they did reconstruction on this place," Nicole answered. There was no fascinating story to be told.

"Oh," Summer was glad there was no story to it and no more revelations to uncover. She hoped.

"So you believe me?" Ryan asked her. He was happy he told her, but would he have to tell Marissa and Seth? Could Summer keep the secret? Maybe he should tell them.

"Yeah, and thanks. For telling me. I feel better knowing I'm not the only person in Newport who had to deal with Willow Creek," Summer knew it had to have been hard for Ryan to tell her.

"It's no big deal. Just don't hurt yourself. Vent. It works," Ryan said to her. He barely ever vented, always keeping things inside.

"I'll try. But how is Seth? Marissa just told me and..." Summer wanted to know if he was okay.

"Well, when we left, he was sleeping, but hopefully he's awake when I get back. Which will be late," Ryan commented.

"Why?" Summer didn't understand.

"I yelled at Marissa and she left," Ryan thought back to their argument.

"Oh. Well, you can call a cab. They come here all the time," Summer tried to help.

"I think that's what I'll do. I don't know," Ryan didn't quite want to leave. And he didn't want to call a cab from here. They always asked about the stay you had in Willow Creek, assuming you were crazy.

"It's getting late. Visitation day is almost over," Summer looked over to the clock.

"Yeah. I remember," Ryan and Summer got up. "Bye Nicole. I'll see you around," Ryan looked at her.

"Maybe it won't be three years this time," She joked. "Oh wait, how much do I owe you?" She remembered.

"Um...fifteen hundred dollars," Ryan answered, and Nicole pulled something out of her pocket.

"Here. Two dollars. I have more, but I don't want to give it to you. So there's my payment. You're not gonna get the rest," Nicole told him.

"I didn't even think I'd get this much," Ryan smiled.

"Um, I'll walk you to as far as I can go," Summer said after about a minute. She and Ryan began walking down the hall. It was long, or maybe they just walked slow. But Summer didn't want it to end. Ryan was leaving, and she would have to deal with the loneliness.

They reached the end, and Summer wanted to follow Ryan out. She wanted to be free.

"I guess I'll see you next visitation," Ryan announced.

"Yep. Thanks again. For telling me. It kinda took the suicide thought out of my head. It's nice to know that when I get out, and start to talk about this place, someone will know what I'm talking about," Summer joked.

"March tenth?" Ryan remembered the date.

"Right. I'll keep this all confidential. What you told me. Do Seth and Marissa know?" Summer asked him.

"No. Only Kirsten and Sandy. I think I'll tell Seth sometime soon, but not Marissa," Ryan didn't want either to know just yet.

"So I'm the first one to know," Summer was a little flattered.

"Of my friends. And voluntarily. I never actually 'told' someone. They all kind of found out," Ryan commented.

"Oh. Well, I guess this is our goodbye," Summer didn't want to say goodbye.

"Right. I will see you in two Saturdays. Unless we only send Seth, since you guys need time," Ryan still knew the visitation schedule.

"If he wakes up," Summer said.

"He better. Or no one will be happy," Ryan looked at Summer, not quite ready to go. He'd have to face everything once he left.

"Bye Ryan," Summer felt tears in her eyes as she hugged him one last time. He hugged her back. Newport wasn't the same without her. "I'll miss you."

"Same here," They let go, and she quickly kissed him on the cheek again. After that, she just looked around, tears falling down her face. "Bye," Ryan looked at her, and she finally looked up.

Their eyes locked, and they now shared something important, that not too many people knew about.

Ryan began to walk away.

"Bye," Summer said, and he turned to look at her. She waved goodbye and he did also. And then, he was gone.

Summer felt more lonely than before.

Ryan walked down the stairs and out the building, thinking back to when his three month stay was done. His mother was worse off, having even more abusive boyfriends. Everything had been worse. Ryan just didn't do drugs then. And never saw a therapist again. They barely had any money left. So he had a ton of problems built up inside of him.

Ryan didn't want the interrogation from the cab driver, so he decided to get one from the gas station now far away. He walked down the parking lot and came face to face with Marissa.

Wow, another chapter done. I finished this pretty soon. Only one day it took me to type it. Oh yeah, the lyrics are "Angels with Dirty Faces" by Sum 41. Please review, and I'll be writing!