Wow, thank you guys so much for the reviews, I couldn't believe you guys liked my ideas. Now, this will be a short chapter, it has been taking me forever to write it. Lately, I've been writing in Stranded Memories, go check that story out if you haven't already. Anyways, this is kinda short, but I really couldn't keep pulling this out. Um... this is Ryan mostly, well, all of it. Oh well. Sorry. Oh yeah, the title is byHoobastank's "Open Your Eyes".It was going to be something different, but it didn't work with the last chapter title.Oh well.I promise that maybe in two, three chaps, we will finally have Summereth! On to the chap...
Marissa was staring at him. She couldn't leave him there. It was an hour and a half drive to Newport.
"What are you doing here?" Ryan asked, fresh off of telling Summer about his drug addiction.
"I felt bad about what I said and I waited for you. Is she okay?" Marissa told him.
"She's fine," Ryan began walking past Marissa. She was the person he least wanted to see.
"Will you talk to me?" Marissa did not want to be fighting with Ryan. She was hurt by what he said to her.
"I don't want to talk about it," Ryan was in a good mood, until he saw Marissa.
"Will you at least get in the car so we can go?" Marissa wasn't leaving without Ryan.
"No. I am not getting in a car with you," Ryan continued walking away from her.
"And why not?" Marissa stared at his back, until he finally turned around to see her.
"You're drunk," He had seen the bottles, and smelled the liquor on her breath. He was so disgusted that she was still drinking. It was out of control.
"I am not," Though she was. She hadn't drinken a lot compared to what she usually drank.
"Yes, you are. I can smell it on your breath. I saw all your hidden bottles under the seat. You're a drunk, just like my mom was," Ryan knew those words were harsh, but he was so sick of alcohol ruining the people around him.
"I am not a drunk," Marissa wouldn't believe she had become a full fledged drunk. She wasn't.
"How can you say you're not? You drink whenever no one's looking. It takes away your pain, the reality of your life. You're dependent on it. You can't stay away from it. It's ruining your life and you think it's making it better," Ryan let it all out at her.
What he said used to be him. He got away, why couldn't she? He cared about Marissa, and she was destroying herself. Just like Dawn and just like he had.
Marissa felt tears in her eyes. Was all he said true? She thought about it, and it was. She was a drunk, no doubt about it. But did she have to believe that?
Ryan thought maybe he should apologize to Marissa, but why? What he said was truth.
"If I'm such a drunk, why did you agree to be together?" Marissa was so pissed at Ryan. She didn't want to believe she was a drunk, even if she was.
"I thought you stopped drinking. I hadn't seen you drink since last December," Ryan wished she had been done with alcohol back then. He had flipped out on her back then, and she got help. And met Oliver.
"Did you honestly think I would go back? You were gone, Seth ran away, and I had to live with my mom.. I needed my escape," Maybe Marissa and Ryan weren't meant to be like she thought. They were constantly fighting.
"You didn't need it, you wanted it," Ryan corrected her.
"No. I needed it," Marissa knew it wasn't good to fight with Ryan, but she could take him.
"You don't need alcohol to survive. But I guess that doesn't count for you. What's the longest you've gone without it lately? Two hours?" Ryan yelled at her.
"You know nothing about needing an escape," Marissa told him.
"Sure I do. I needed one, a lot more than you. I had the worst possible life you could imagine. I got hit everyday, with my mom watching and doing nothing from on the couch drunk. Sometimes we had no electricity, no heat, no running water, nothing. I had no hope whatsoever," That was Ryan's life after the institution.
"And now look at you. You have the perfect life," Marissa said to him. She didn't want his sob lifetime movie story.
"Nothing is ever perfect," Marissa couldn't have been more wrong. His life wasn't near perfect.
"Ryan, you live with the richest people in Newport. You have nothing to worry about for the rest of your life," Ryan opened his mouth, but Marissa kept going. "Don't say they're not your family, because they are. They care about you so much. You are the complete rag to riches story." Ryan didn't say a word. He couldn't. "You can forget about your past," Marissa finished.
"Can't really when I'm around you," Ryan quickly shot back at her, but that's all he had. For once, Marissa had gotten him to shut down instead of open up.
"You're quieter when the conversation is about you," Marissa commented, proud of herself. She had turned the whole argument around. Now it focused on Ryan, not Marissa. "Say something, and just don't leave like Summer did."
"You can't blame her, can you? You told her that her boyfriend tried to commit suicide and he's in the hospital, and you don't even try to console her" Ryan was still mad at Marissa for what she did to Summer.
"And what was I supposed to do? She ran away," Marissa hadn't wanted to be in the institution, so she left Summer. She thought Summer would cry and talk to her therapist.
"Yeah, to kill herself," Marissa hadn't expected that. Summer had been trying to kill herself. Again.
"Did someone stop her?" Marissa figured had to have.
"There wasn't anything to stop. That's the hardest place to try to kill yourself," Ryan commented. "After she gave up, I talked to her, which is something you didn't even try to."
"I thought she'd be okay," Marissa said.
"You've known her the longest. I thought you'd be the one talking to her. But you had to be selfish and get out of the place you were almost locked into," Ryan was so mad at Marissa.
"I wasn't selfish. I didn't like being where my past almost was," Marissa tried to explain herself.
"That's being selfish," Ryan accused.
"You would do the same thing," Marissa defended. She did not want to have this conversation with Ryan.
"No, I wouldn't. I'd deal, and help my friend. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go," Ryan turned to leave.
"Where?" Marissa asked him, wondering.
"To see Seth," Ryan told her without looking back.
"How the hell are you going to get there?" Marissa thought Ryan was insane. He really was pissed at her.
"Walk, call a cab, I don't know," Ryan said. He just didn't want to be in that car with Marissa driving.
"Let me at least drive you," Marissa's buzz was slowly going away, she could drive. Ryan finally turned back to her.
"You are drunk," He commented again.
"Then why don't you drive?" Marissa suggested. It was good idea. Marissa would be sage and Ryan wouldn't have to walk.
"Fine," He only did it because he didn't want Marissa to get hurt. He didn't want to be with her, it was too many intense memories.
Marissa handed Ryan the keys as he walked over and she headed to the passenger seat. She wanted to know what went on between him and Summer. She was kind of jealous. Summer got better attention from Ryan than Marissa did. Seth loved Summer, and Ryan cared about her. Marissa had nothing, no one. Everything was fake.
Her need to drink more became not able to resist. Her self esteem was at an all time low. She was a drunk, she might as well defend her crown.
They drove away from Willow Creek as the last bits of the sun died. Ryan had mixed feelings about leaving. It was even strange going in, and now it was stranger leaving.
Ryan pulled onto the highway, and Marissa fingered her half empty bottle. She had to drink, yet she knew she had to stop.
He didn't notice the bottle next to her at first, but as he thought about her drinking, he began to grow uncomfortable. There were so many empty bottles under him. All he thought of then was when he got home from Willow Creek, and sat in his living room. Bottle upon bottle was under the couch.
It was like Chrismukkah lastyear, Marissa took a long sip of alcohol.
"I can't believe you," Ryan commented once he saw her. This was sickening.
"What?" Marissa was mad at Ryan, she didn't care what he thought.
"I'm not doing this," They were a half an hour done with the ride when Ryan pulled over.
"What are you doing?" Marissa slurred to him as he unbuckled his seatbelt and got out.
"I'm not going to be in a car with you drunk. I'm so sick of this shit. If you ever wanted us to attempt being a couple, get rid of it, and learn to deal," He slammed the door and began to walk. He had no clue how he would get home. Ryan supposed he would have to walk all the way. It was much colder up here than in Newport. Every day it would get colder and colder. Soon, he guessed it would go below freezing.
Marissa sat in her seat awestruck. She watched as Ryan walked away and disappeared into darkness.
She knew she blew it. They had actually had a chance of being together. And she screwed it up. She wanted to stop drinking, she just couldn't. It had her hooked.
Ryan check his wallet. Twenty bucks. Definitely not enough for a cab. But he did have enough for a bus ticket. Ryan looked back and saw that Marissa's car was gone. He didn't know if he walked that much or Marissa had bolted like she always did.
He headed up the next exit ramp and looked around for a bus stop. None that he could see. Damn. Ryan kept walking around, seeing a McDonald's and a WalMart. He had no clue where he was. This was turning out to be a horrible idea.
Ryan walked into the McDonald's, he needed help. It was empty for being 5:30, there was practically no one there. He walked up to the cashier.
"Hi, welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?" The girl asked him.
"I just need to know where the bus station is," Ryan answered. He wanted to get back to the Cohens and sleep. He wanted to be done with the day.
"Well, there is one about two clocks down the road," She answered Ryan after thinking for a few moments. "To your left."
"Thanks," Ryan exited the McDonald's and headed towards the bus station. Cars passed by him, he was surrounded by highways. Ryan wondered if Marissa was speeding home drunk yet.
She wasn't. She was still sitting in her car, waiting for her buzz to go away.
Ryan reached the bus station at the same time Marissa moved to the driver's seat and rushed off. He found the bus schedule and saw that a bus was going sort of close to Newport would be there soon. There were no buses going directly to Newport. He would have to walk a while.
He stood outside for ten minutes. The wind whipped at him. He shivered and soon, the bus rolled in. He paid and found the bus almost empty. Ryan took a seat near the back, knowing he would be on it for a good half an hour, probably a lot more with the stops.
The bus started its' route once again. Ryan barely remembered the last time he rode a bus. It had to have been at least three years ago. Mostly he walked. It was good exercise.
Marissa would've gone after Ryan, but she knew she would only make it worse. She was drunk, that made it worse right away.
Ryan stared off into darkness until the headlights ruined it. This turned out to be stupid. He screwed himself over because of Marissa. He let he get to him. That was what he wanted least.
Ryan checked his watch. 5:45. He had a long way to go.
000000000000000
He pushed the button to the elevator. Ryan finally made it to the hospital. He was exhausted.
With all the stops and that, the bus ride was an hour. Then, he had to walk. That was two and a half hours. There was a 35 minute break in the middle of that.
Ryan figured he should've called Sandy or Kirsten, but they were too worried about Seth. He shouldn't bother them. He just hoped Seth had woken up. Seth wouldn't fall into another coma. It just couldn't happen.
Why did the worst come to anywhere near Ryan? He couldn't remember the last enjoyable day he had. It was too long ago.
An urge to run away had come to Ryan as he walked back to Newport. He almost had. The life he was leading was so incredibly messed up, why shouldn't he just run? It would make everything easier.He could just start a new life, one where he wasn't the catalyst to ruin lives. Third time's the charm, right?
But Ryan didn't run. He felt like the Cohens were his family. Yet he was so different from them. Sometimes he felt so awkward. Ryan had mostly changed, but there were still those small moments where he completely felt out of place.
The elevator doors opened and he stepped out and adapted himself to the new floor. He was so used to the long term area, where there were a lot less people there. Nurses were running all over here, handing out end of the night medication. It had been a long time since Ryan had taken any medication.
Walking into Seth's room, he saw Kirsten and Seth. Seth was sleeping. That wasn't what Ryan hoped to see.
"He hasn't woken up?" Seeing Seth sleeping in the hospital was so much like a month ago. Kirsten had jumped at Ryan's voice.
"Ryan! I thought you were at the house," Kirsten hugged him. She knew Ryan was supposed to be back a lot earlier.
"I just got back," Ryan commented to her as they let go and he pulled another chair close to Seth's bed.
"How come? When did you leave?" Kirsten wanted to hear everything. She had finally calmed down, everything with Seth was insane. She didn't know what to do with Seth. His life was so hectic. She felt helpless to him sometimes.
"Well, we started to leave about four thirty, but I went back in and left again at five fifteenish," Ryan thought about this tiring trek.
"Then you should have been back around seven," Kirsten didn't understand. It was nine.
There was a fight with Marissa. That was twenty minutes. Then we drove for a half an hour. I left and walked to the bus station and waited for another twenty minutes. Bus ride was an hour, then I walked for an hour, took a half hour break, and walked another hour to here," Ryan guesstimated.
"You could've called us," Kirsten pointed out.
"Figured that when I got here," Ryan wanted to sleep so badly. He hadn't had a rest since the morning. Even though he had a full day's rest, he was still tired in the morning.
"How did the visit go?" Kirsten changed the focus.
"It went well. Summer seemed better. And I told her,"Kirsten knew about Ryan's previous stay in Willow Creek. Sandy had told her when they discussed becoming Ryan's legal guardians. It had been hard to deal with, and they talked about it once they knew Seth wasn't hearing.
The only thing Ryan asked from them about it was that they didn't tell Seth. He didn't need to know and everything was going well. Ryan was afraid Seth would spill like he did with Ryan being from Chino.
Ryan's secret was practically forgotten since it never needed to be broughton up. Until now. He had been thinking about it everyday for so long. It was haunting him since that first day Summer was in the hospital, when her father initially wanted to send her away.
"Told her what?" kristen wasn't quite following.
"About Willow Creek...and me," Ryan answered, double checking that Seth was sleeping. He was.
"Oh, wow. Didn't think you were gonna ever tell anybody,"Kirsten understood now.
"I wasn't gonna. Until Marissa told Summer about Seth being in the hospital," Ryan didn't mention the part about Seth's attempted suicide. He still didn't even know if Seth had woken up yet.
"Is Summer okay?" Kirsten grew worried.
"Yeah, she's fine. Her roommate is someone I know and that was a little weird. But other than that, everything was okay," Ryan commented.
"That's good," Kirsten added.
"Yeah...so, has he woken up?" Ryan was really freaked out by Seth. What would happen next with him? Would he get sent away, go to a shrink? Seth was officially unpredictable.
"Yeah, for about two hours," Kirsten looked over at Seth, who seemed to be dreaming. About what, they didn't know.
"Better than last time," At least Seth had already woken up.
"Ryan, I know. About what he did," Kirsten told Ryan flat out.
"Oh," He was hoping Kirsten didn't know because it was way too much to deal with. Especially now.
"What happened?" kristen knew very little about what happened. All Seth said was that he jumped.
"I found him, we talked, and he jumped," Ryan didn't quite want to talk about it. It was fresh in his mind, and the pain was still too real.
"Oh. I told him I wasn't going to tell the doctors if he promised not to do it again. I fought with him and left, and he tried again," kristen felt like such a failure of a mother to Seth.
"Wow," Ryan wasn't expecting to hear that. "Are you going to tell the doctors?" He didn't know what to think with Seth anymore.
"I don't know. I mean, it's the logical choice, but I'm just afraid fo what'll happen then," Kirsten couldn't choose. She hadn't even told Sandy.
"What'd Sandy say?" Ryan asked.
"Haven't told him yet," Kirsten had no clue how Sandy would react to it.
"Maybe Seth should be the one telling him," Ryan commented.
"Don't know how that's going to go over," Kirsten had to admit, that was a good idea, but would Seth agree?
"Well, I'm thinking of telling Seth about..." Ryan had kept a major secret from Seth for such a long time. They both almost died, again. He felt bad for hiding it.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" kristen wondered. She knew Ryan was a little uncomfortable talking about it.
"I was hoping you could answer that," Ryan looked at Kirsten, waiting for an answer.
"I don't know. We're all going through a rough spot now. Maybe you should hold off," Kirsten didn't even think Ryan should have told Summer. What if she told?
"Yeah, I guess so," Ryan commented. He looked over at Seth once again. Seth didn't look quite happy. He looked more so like something bad was happening. Could he hear them?
"I think I'll call Sandy. He's been home for a while," Kirsten got up. "Watch him," She warned and left the room. Ryan sat there in silence. Seth was sleeping. Why did this seem so familiar?
Seth seemed upset, but Ryan didn't understand why. But he did know Seth, rather all of them, hada lot to sort though now. Everything was falling apart.
Ryan got up and began to pace around the room. When he was nervous, he did that. He was so tired, but his mind was still in the movement mood. His eyes were closing as he leaned on the window. His legs were almost giving out.
"Ryan?" Kirsten walked in and Ryan stumbled.
"I'm awake," Ryan answered drowsily.
"Ryan, sit down. You're exhausted, why are you walking around?" Kirsten didn't understand.
"I'm not tired," Ryan walked over to Kirsten, where she made him sit down. They sat there for a few minutes, until finally she spoke.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked, worried about her other son.
"Yeah, just tired," Ryan told her.
"Well, let's go home," Kirsten announced and they said their goodbyes to Seth and left him alone to his dreams.
Okay, another chapter finished. I have barely anything written for the next chapter, but hey, if you have some ideas, please tell me them! I'm running out! So, review, and I'll be trying to work on the next chapter. If I stop procrastinating.
