Now, how long did this take to annoy you? What will Kirsten choose? Oh...I don't know. But thank you so much for the reviews, I absolutely love them. And a lot of you want a sequel, so I'm gonna have to see where this is headed. I can't believe where I've gone in this story. It's insanity. So...review after you read.
"We're not sending you to New York," Kirsten told him.
"I'm not going," Seth was happy to hear this. He wouldn't leave Summer, he'd finish school here.
"Right. But you are going to have to see a therapist, or even a psychiatrist. That's part of the deal," Kirsten finally got it all out.
"So I'll have to talk to a stranger about everything I just said?" Seth was wary. He was relatively okay talking to someone he knew about everything, but a complete stranger? Yeah, he was gonna have some problems with that.
"Yep," Kirsten answered.
"Can't I just talk to you and Dad?" Seth proposed.
"Do you want to go to New York?" Kirsten had decided that, after a few hours of arguing, it wouldn't be good for Seth to go to New York. It would hurt him more than help him.
"No, not especially," Seth informed his mother.
"Well then, you need to talk to a professional who deals with this stuff every day. It'll help you," Kirsten said.
"What if it doesn't?" Seth didn't want to go.
"It will," Kirsten defended.
"I guess," Seth was glad he didn't have to fly to New York, but what would the therapist think of Seth? He knew Summer had to have one, but having a therapist freaked him out.
"Do you wanna go downstairs?" Kirsten looked at her son.
"Sure," She got up and he sadly followed. The change wasn't going to be as big as he expected, but he knew there would be one.
Seth didn't want to go downstairs. He wanted to stay in his room and hide. So why the hell was he following his mother? No. Stop. He didn't.
Seth walked down the stairs. Damn.
Sandy was in the living room, watching a movie, alone. Ryan claimed he wanted to sleep.
"Where's Ryan?" Kirsten asked.
"In the pool house, hopefully sleeping," Sandy answered his wife.
"Oh," Kirsten was hoping for a family tv watching.
"You know Mom, I'm kind of tired too, I think I'll go to sleep," Seth wanted to escape.
"Okay," Kirsten reluctantly let her son go upstairs. There went that plan.
Ryan was again lying on his bed, wide awake. What was wrong with him? He needed to sleep, yet he wasn't tired. Since telling Summer about the drugs, his head did not want to rest. He felt like such a liar. He couldn't tell his brother. How pathetic was that?
And now, thinking about it, he had an urge for them. To feel invincible, and like nothing was wrong. But they practically destroyed his life.
He still wanted them.
No. Ryan wouldn't let temptation get him.
Yes he would.
Thinking about the feeling, the trip it gave, was killing him, making him want it so badly. No, wasn't going to drive to Chino and find some guy who had it. Ryan promised the Cohens that he wouldn't. They would kick him out if they found him. Would he risk it?
Ryan got up. He had to clear his head. If he accidently found himself in Chino buying cigarettes, so be it. He walked into the living room where Kirsten and Sandy were watching a movie.
"Hey," Ryan started.
"Hi," Both adults looked at him.
"Is it all right if I borrow the Range Rover?" He asked.
"Sure, just be back soon," Kirsten and Sandy didn't think anything about it. Ryan walked away, hoping this wouldn't be the last time he'd leave the house as a family member.
He yawned and got in the car. He put the key in the ignition and pulled away from the Cohens. Ryan put the radio on and Broadway tunes yelled at him. Sandy was in the car last. Ryan pressed another channel, alternative songs came at him.
Music didn't affect him like it did to everyone else, the only band he especially enjoyed was Journey. He didn't quite know how he learned to like the band. All he remembered was his dad telling him about this great band.
As he pulled onto the highway that would take him to Chino, he wondered what the hell he was doing. He wasn't going to get a fix, he was just going for a drive and maybe some cigarettes. Right?
Ryan drove along the highway for a while, until he saw his exit. He was back in Chino.
Chino was alive in the middle of the night, kids were hanging out on the corner and they all stared at Ryan in the expensive SUV.
He drove to the shopping center where they didn't care how old you were for cigarettes. Ryan parked the car and leaned on the car before he did anything. Cigarettes would maybe stop the craving. But he'd been clean for so long. Oh hell, he had to stop the cravings.
Ryan got off the car and began to walk to the store. He saw some guys his age standing around.
"Damn, is that Atwood?" One of them yelled and out of the corner of Ryan's eye he saw the guys walk towards him. "Atwood!" Ryan turned and saw some of his old buddies.
Ryan hadn't seen any of his old friends in so long. He avoided everything in Chino over the summer with Theresa.
"Damn Atwood, haven't seen you in ages," The leader of the group hugged Ryan.
"Hey Pete," Ryan had known Pete since about the fifth grade when Pete moved to Chino.
"Where ya been Atwood? I just got back like two months ago and you weren't here," Pete looked over Ryan.
"Yeah, I've been hanging with some...other guys," Ryan didn't want to tell his old friends he lived in Newport.
"Cool. Yeah, I just got back in town. Everything's pretty much blown over now. You didn't tell anyone, did you?" Pete's dad and him had robbed some place, and they skipped town. Ryan had been the only one who knew who did it.
"No," Ryan hadn't had a chance to tell anyone. He was sent to Willow Creek not long after the robbery. He had forgotten about it over the years.
"I owe you man. Hey listen, you want some?" Pete produced a bag, the thing Ryan was craving.
"I can't pay for it," Ryan didn't want it. Or did he?
"It's on the house, man. You saved me from juvie," Pete shoved the bag into Ryan's hand.
"Yeah, that place sucks," Ryan put the bag in his pocket. He'd throw it away later.
"Were you there, man?" Pete looked at Ryan with admiration.
"Yeah. Twice, but they were only for a few days each," Ryan answered.
"Shit, what'd you do?" Pete asked.
"Trey and me tried to steal a car the first time. Second time, me and some other kid burned down a house," Ryan hadn't thought about the model home in a while.
"Man, how'd you get out? Those are major," Pete was still amazed he was looking at Ryan Atwood.
"I know a guy," Ryan didn't understand why he didn't reveal anything about Newport. All the guys would be jealous. It was their dream. Get out of Chino, and live the high life. Literally and metaphorically. But after a while, that dream became less and less imaginable, and they never talked about it. All these guys were tough, they'd been through everything. So had Ryan.
When they were younger, some of these guys looked up to Ryan. He was one of the toughest.
"Nice. So, what else is new with you?" Pete kept talking with his old buddy.
"Nothing, really. Just, uh, getting through the days," Ryan answered.
"Yeah, same with me. I mean, I'm glad to be in Chino. How the hell is that possible? Some places were just dives. Corona was horrible," Most of the other guys left Pete and Ryan and went to the liquor store.
"I knew a guy in Corona," Ryan slipped out. Shit.
"Who?" Pete was interested.
"Some guy named Donnie. He crashed some Newport party and shot the captain of the water polo team," Why the hell was Ryan telling Pete this?
"Damn, there's a lot of shootings there. You hear about that school shooting? It was at a private school. I mean, how fucked up are those Newport people? Wouldn't wanna live there. Sure, it's rich and probably fabulous, but jeez, you have less of a chance getting shot in Chino than in Newport. Right, Ry?" Pete smiled at Ryan.
"Yeah," Ryan softly lied. He was ready to punch Pete for what he said, but he kept his cool. "Listen, I gotta go, but I'll see you around," Ryan wanted to get out.
"Awesome," Pete hugged his friend once more and Ryan headed to the Range Rover. "Damn Atwood! You steal that too?" Pete screamed as Ryan unlocked the car.
"I'm borrowing it," Ryan replied and got in. He drove away from Chino, amazed that now, he wasn't tired at all.
The bag was burning a gaping hole in his pocket. It wanted to be released, to give someone their release. Ryan had to throw it out.
Ryan got back to the Cohens, by now, it was eleven thirty. He parked the car and walked down the driveway to the garbage. The bag was in his hand, he was ready to throw it out.
He was wasting like a hundred dollars. That wasn't good. Ryan was never a person to waste money. And plus, what if someone found it and investigated the Cohens? Ryan couldn't do it. He'd throw it away in a more public place.
Stuffing the bag back in his pocket, Ryan walked back up the driveway. He went into the main house so that Kirsten and Sandy knew he was back.
"How was your drive? You were out a while, we were getting worried," Kirsten commented when she saw her son.
"I was just clearing my head," Ryan replied.
"Is it clear?" Sandy joked with Ryan, who was antsy to leave.
"Yeah, I think I'll go get some sleep. I'm kinda tired," Ryan fake yawned. "Night."
"Night," Kirsten and Sandy again didn't think about it as Ryan raced out of the house. They trusted him.
Ryan went into the pool house bathroom. He could flush it down the toilet. Or he could give it to one of the druggies in the school. Yeah, that was a great idea. Plus, all the druggies in Harbor were part of the water polo team. Then they wouldn't bother him or Seth.
Why couldn't he just get rid of it? He had to, right? The temptation was killing him. As much as he wanted to, he could throw it out.
As much as he wanted to, Ryan wouldn't have it.
With it back in his pocket, Ryan fell on the bed. What was his problem? This part of his life was over with. He was clean. He hadn't had it in so long. And now, all of sudden, he wanted it?
Yeah, that was correct.
Ryan didn't know what to do. The temptation was so powerful, he hadn't had a craving this bad in well over two years.
He squeezed his eyes shut. No, he wasn't gonna do it. No, he wouldn't throw it out. No, he wasn't going to win this battle.
A little bit never hurt anyone.
000000000000000
Seth had skipped his last two classes on Tuesday. Today was his first meeting with a therapist. The substitute in his last class yesterday let them out early, so technically, Seth hadn't gotten through a full day of school in a week.
Sandy was supposed to pick Seth up after school. Ryan would ride his bike, he offered. They would be going out of their way to take him back to the house. Ryan hadn't thrown the drugs out yet.
So at the end of the day, Sandy sat in front of the school, waiting for Seth. Seth wouldn't come. He was sitting in a restaurant on the pier, far away from his jump.
Ryan walked out of the school to get his bike. Sandy noticed him.
"Ryan!" Sandy yelled and Ryan walked over to him.
"Yeah?" Ryan asked.
"You seen Seth?" Sandy was getting impatient.
"No. Not since lunch, why?" Ryan hadn't really slept well at all though he was dead tired.
"I think he may have run," Seth ran at any given moment. He was never a huge runner when he was little, but it got more and more frequent lately.
"Probably," Ryan knew Seth ran way too much.
"Any thoughts to where?" Hopefully Sandy could find Seth soon so that they could talk.
"Pier restaurant. Far away from where he jumped," Seth hadn't eaten during lunch, so Ryan knew he would go to food. Sandy gave Ryan a questioning look. "Far away from the Crab Shack."
"Oh. Thanks. I'll go. You should get home," Sandy told Ryan.
"Don't worry, I will. See ya," Ryan went back to his bike and then he and Sandy went off in opposite directions.
Sandy checked all the restaurants until he found Seth. He saw him through the window. Sandy got out and saw Seth sitting there, with a glass of water in front of him, reading a book. His skateboard leaned on his booth, and his backpack was next to him.
"Up. Now, let's go," Sandy ordered, scaring Seth. He walked out of the restaurant, not waiting for his son. Seth tried to argue, but couldn't get a word out. He had already paid, so he grabbed his stuff and followed Sandy.
Seth threw his things into the back seat. Sandy didn't say a word as his son stubbornly sat next to him. He would wait to talk when they got there.
Seth didn't want to go see this therapist. He didn't want to talk about his past. According to existentialism, it didn't matter.
Twenty minutes later, Seth and Sandy were walking into an office. It smelled strange, like there was mold. Seth sat down as Sandy told the receptionist they were here.
"You know, the thing is at four, not three thirty," Seth commented to his father. He wasn't in a good mood.
"I know. I thought we could talk," Sandy sat down.
"Shouldn't I save my words for in there?" Seth remarked sarcastically.
"All right, wiseass," Sandy took his son off guard. "We need to talk."
"About?" Seth continued being stubborn.
"You. I'm worried. You're skipping school, jumping off piers, what's up?" Sandy looked over at Seth, who felt bad.
"I'm fine," Seth didn't want to discuss anything.
"No, you're not. I'm really worried about you kid. What's up? You can talk to me," Sandy used to know Seth so well. His son used to tell him everything. What had changed?
"Dad, I'm fine," Seth shot at his father. What time was it? Three thirty five. Crap.
"No, you're not Seth. That's why you're here. Why won't you talk to me? I'd like to know what's up in your life," Sandy was getting annoyed with Seth.
"Dad, you don't wanna know what's going on," Seth couldn't help but object to talking.
"Yes, I do," Sandy argued. No one else was in the waiting room.
"I think I'm going crazy," Seth finally divulged.
"How so?" Sandy was interested. He knew his son wasn't crazy. So why did Seth think that?
"I just am," Seth didn't know how to explain it. At times during the last two days, he had thought of running away, or even killing himself. The shooting hadn't changed a single one of the assholes at his school. They were still assholes.
John and his buddies kept annoying Seth, and usually Seth and Ryan could take them. Or at least yell at them. But Ryan was way out of it the last two days. Seth didn't know what the hell was wrong with either of them.
"Well, I don't think you're crazy," Sandy tried assuring Seth.
"Mom said the same thing," Seth commented absentmindedly.
"Great minds think alike," Sandy joked, but Seth didn't laugh. "So, anyways, what else?"
"Nothing really. Just me going crazy," Seth really wanted to bolt out of this place. What was gonna happen once he went beyond that door? Would the person be mean, or nice? Seth didn't want to go.
"You're not crazy. You're just going through a rough spot," Sandy commented.
"Whatever. Do I really have to go?" Seth hoped he could con his father into letting him go home.
"Yeah. You gotta go," Sandy wasn't budging.
"But I'm not a good talker..." Seth argued and Sandy burst out laughing.
"You and I both know that's a complete and blatant lie," Sandy couldn't stop laughing. "Listen, Seth, I know you don't wanna do this. Cohens hate talking about their feelings. We'll talk about everything else, just not that. But be the first Cohen to get through therapy. The Nana tried to get me in it, I bolted," Sandy told his son.
"Really?" Seth had never heard this story, and he had thought he heard them all.
"Oh, yeah. I was really doing bad in school, I didn't care what anyone thought. Until my friend got caught stealing and his dad freaked. The dad tried to help him, and my friend really hurt the dad. I realized that the Nana was only looking out for me and she cared. So I buckled down and did my work," Sandy said.
"So you didn't have to go to therapy, and I still do?" Seth tried to get it.
"Yep," Sandy laughed a bit more.
"Damn," Seth cursed under his breath.
"Heard that," Sandy was happy with the way his talk was going. But they hadn't even scratched the surface. "Are you sure you're okay?" Sandy asked again.
"Honestly?" Sandy looked at Seth and saw a weakness that had hidden itself for weeks.
"Honestly," Sandy was ready for it.
"I am so scared right now, you can't even imagine," Seth away from his father.
"Scared about what?" They were finally getting somewhere.
"Everything. Tomorrow, going into that room, Summer, Mom, school, the future. I am so fucking scared of what's gonna happen next," Seth refused to look at his dad. Whenever he said something emotionally important, he could never look at anyone in the eye.
"Seth..." This was where everyone usually stopped talking. "You shouldn't be afraid of everything. There's nothing to fear. Tomorrow won't be as bad as you think."
"Usually it is. That's how it works," Seth informed his father.
"Well, not this time. Tomorrow will be good," Sandy kept trying his luck at optimism.
"I hope you're right," Silence crept over them, and Seth checked his watch. It was almost time. The mold stench had begun to get at him.
Ten more minutes. His blood was turning to ice as they got closer. By the time he had to go in, he'd be a popsicle, not able to move. Maybe they'd take that as an excuse. They wouldn't, since he couldn't prove it. Damn it.
Seth couldn't remember the last time he was so nervous in a doctors' office. It had to be that time when he was eleven, and Kirsten made him go with her to a Newpsie meeting. He was forced to hang out with a future water polo player.
The Newpsie owner of the house had a cat, one Seth was told was friendly. He stared eye to eye with it and tried to pet it.
Seth never screamed so loud and the Newpsie meeting was cut short. Kristen took him to the eye doctor where he sat in that evil waiting room with his eye on fire. He sat there for an hour as he lost eye sight in his right eye.
Eventually he was checked over, he had to get surgery. Damn cat. But the worst part of it all, he had to wear an eye patch to school. Seth was so embarrassed. He was called 'Pirate Death Breath' for months.
"Seth Cohen," A door opened and the receptionist stood there. Where had the last ten minutes gone? Damn 'Pirate Death Breath' story. Damn it to the high seas.
"Do I have to come with?" Sandy had no clue how these things operated.
"No, I don't think so," The receptionist answered.
"Do I have to?" Seth quickly looked over to her.
She laughed before answering, "Yeah."
"Well, this is it," Sandy looked at his dismayed son.
"Do I really have to go? Please save me," Seth was terrified.
"If you need to be saved, follow her. Just get through this one meeting. If you don't like the person, we'll find you a new therapist. Just do this. It'll make your mother happy and that's what counts. Then everyone's happy," Sandy gave his son a pep talk.
"Fine," Seth gave in and stood up.
"Have fun," Sandy teased.
"Yeah, sure," Seth was sarcastic. "Man, I'd take 'Pirate Death Breath' before this."
"Who's 'Pirate Death Breath'?" Sandy inquired and Seth realized his fatal mistake.
"Don't ask," Seth answered before disappearing behind the door with the receptionist.
So? What do you think? Do you like what I did to Ryan? Or how about 'Pirate Death Breath'? I believe there might be more of that in the next chapter. I decided to speed up a bit since it's been going pretty slow. But I promise, everything will be resolved before I finish this. Only five or six more chapters! Please review, I love them!
