Can you hear your names?
Can't you hear your babies dying?
Momma, they tried to break me...
-"Hero Of The Day," Metallica
I was right. She was there, and Squall was behind the bar, which amused me. I walked up and leaned idly on the bar, eyeing him. He smirked.
"You weren't here, December had something she had to do."
"Yeah, yeah." I said, blowing that excuse off. "Whatever. Are you singing tonight?"
"Maybe." Squall said. He actually smiled, which astonished me. "I like singing."
I raised my eyebrow and walked behind the bar. Just in time, too, because right about then a rush walked in through the door and I doubt Squally could have handled it.
"If you're gonna sing, go sing." I said, gruffly, to Squall. I actually like hearing his voice, hearing his songs. They're really good, like I said, and I was feeling kind of tired and I knew that hearing him would cheer me up.
"Why don't you sing?" Squall challenged me. "You can, I know you can, and you never go up there." And then he clamped his lips shut.
I stared at him. First, I don't have one iota of the talent that Squall has, musically. Second, the idea had never occured to me, that I could get up there and sing. That was something other people did.
"I want to hear you sing." Squall said, seriously. He said nothing else, just continued wiping the bar down.
"Squall, you goin' up?" December asked, walking towards us.
"No, Seifer is." Squall said, a small, evil smirk playing on his lips. December stared at me.
"You can sing?"
"Yes." I said, frowning. "Squall just volunteered me."
"Well, can you play guitar?" December asked. I nodded.
She led me up to the stage in the corner and suddenly all eyes were on me. Everyone knew who I was, and while most of them could deal with me being a nonentity behind the bar, apparently, a lot of them couldn't deal with me being in front of them.
I sat down on the stool and plugged the acoustic guitar in (it had an amp plugin), then stared at the crowd for a second. December shot me a thumbs up, and Squall smiled at me from the bar.
I inhaled a breath, through my diaphragm like Matron had taught us, and started playing a melody, one note at a time. This was a cover, but it was a good cover, and I knew the song well.
My eyes
Seek reality
My fingers
Seek my veins
There's a dog
At your back step
He must come in
From the rain
I fall
Cuz I've let go
The net below
Has rot away
So my eyes
Seek reality
And my fingers
Seek my veins
The trash fire is warm
And nowhere's safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn
So as I write to you
Of what is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
Won't cry for this man
Cuz low man is due
Please forgive me....
My eyes
Seek reality
My fingers
Feel for faith
Touched clean
With a dirty hand
I touch the clean
To the waste
The trash fire is warm
And nowhere's safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn
So as I write to you, yeah
Of what is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
Cuz low man is due
Please forgive me!
Please forgive me....
So low, the sky is all I see
All I want from you is
Forgive me
So you bring this poor dog in from the rain
But he just wants right back out again....
I cry
To the alleyway
Confess all
To the rain
But I lie
Lie straight to the mirror
The one I've broken
To match my face...
The trash fire is warm
And nowhere's safe from the storm
And I can't bear to see
What I've let me be
So wicked and worn
So as I write to you, yeah
Of what is done and to do
Maybe you'll understand
And won't cry for this man
Cuz low man is due
Please
Forgive
Me!
So low, the sky is all I see
All I want from you is
Forgive me
So you bring this poor dog in from the rain
Though he just wants right back out again....
My eyes...
Seek reality...
My fingers...
Seek my veins...
I stopped, catching my breath, and I could see the audience regarding me. An applause started, and I smiled, recklessly, glad they'd liked what I had to offer and glad that no one wanted to lynch me. I wondered if I should sing another song, and looked back at Squall, who grinned at me and nodded. I stood up and pondered what song to sing.
I settled on one, and opened my mouth again. A brief thought of whether I could do this song justice with an acoustic guitar went through my mind, but I shrugged it off.
I'm so high
I can hear heaven
I'm so high
I can hear heaven
Oh, but heaven
No, heaven don't hear me
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I hold on to the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away
Someone told me
Love would all save us
But how can that be?
Look what love gave us--
A world full of killing
And blood spilling
The world never came
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I hold on to the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away
I looked up as I played the breif guitar interlude, and looked directly at Squall as I sang the next part.
Now that the world isn't ending
It's love that I'm sending to you
It isn't the love of a hero
And that's why I fear it won't do...
He looked startled, but I went back to looking at the crowd, and singing.
And they say that a hero can save us
I'm not gonna stand here and wait
I hold on to the wings of the eagles
Watch as they all fly away
And they're watching us
Watching us
Watch as we all fly away....
And they're watching us
Watching us
Watch as we all fly away....
And they're watching us
Watching us
Watch as we all fly away
Ohh....
December had seen what I did, I could tell because when she came up to me as I set the guitar down, she had tears streaming down her cheeks. Tears and December aren't really something I put together unless there's a fire, so I was a little confused, but she hugged me and whispered in my ear "That was beautiful; Squall's in the back room crying."
I felt bad. "Crying?"
"He knew you meant that song for him. The last one. It was moving, really."
She grinned at me and shoed me off. "Go talk to him, Seifer. I'll hold things down out here."
So I walked through the crowd, smiling at people as they clapped me on the back or shook my hand (that felt nice, though) and found my way to the bar and around to the back room.
I could hear some sniffing, but other than that, no indication of where Squall was in the pitch-black room, or what he was doing. For all I knew, he could have a cold.
"Squall?" I asked the darkness, quietly.
"Over here." He said, somewhere to my left. I walked towards his voice and almost tripped over him, sitting on the floor cross-legged.
I sat next to him, quiet, not saying anything, just letting him cry. I felt him lean into me, and I draped my arm over his shoulders. He buried his face into my ribcage and continued crying.
"Sorry I made you cry." I whispered. He sat up and sighed.
"It's alright." He whispered back, raggedly.
I sighed. He stood up and I stood up with him. In the dim darkness I could see him looking up at me under his bangs; storm-blue eyes looking up into mine with an admiration I hadn't experienced in years. I felt a pang of fear, but then he kissed me, and all was forgotten.
