As Far As I Can

SO SORRY SO SORRY SO FREAKING SORRY! Been preoccupied with Harry Potter, Teen Titans, and the ever-entrancing Quizilla for oh so long. Weeps at feet of very few readers who don't really care Forgive me? Steve… yes I know I took forever to update. DON'T MAKE THE PAIN ANY WORSE! DON'T TELL MOMMY!

Anyways, here's the first one not based on a previous episode. Kind of what I imagine to be her past. Agree, or no?

Disclaimer: (I promised it'd continue!) Okay, you all know what to do, right? Po, Tinky-Winky, you go through the ventilation system and with the detailed digital map inside of your TVs, you should find the rights to Hey Arnold! Once we're given the cue, me and La La will distract the guards while the Dark Lord pops inside and destroys those pesky patents, lawyers, and the great but disagreeable Mr. Bartlett… you know what, just petrify him Tom, I kind of want him to give us the credit himself, which also means an Unforgivable Curse, and you like those, dontcha? Dipsy and Snuffles will guard the home front, and when we run out of the place with the rights to Hey Arnold, why, we'll be RICH!

Listen, Dr. Bliss, trust me when I say this," said Mr. Simmons. "Don't you think that it's healthy for people to look back at their origins to help figure out who they are?"

Bliss smirked at him and leaned back. "You're using my subject against me, Simmons."

"Perhaps so." He checked his watch absentmindedly and looked back to her. "But I'd like it if you answered my question."

"Thanks, Daddy, that's was a really good dinner," said Lila as she stepped into her bedroom. "I have to finish my homework now, though. It should take me a very long time. Good night." Lila shut the door behind her, grasping the doorknob behind her back and falling against it. She took a long breath and regained her posture, stopping her forlorn mood from developing.

It wasn't like Mr. Simmons to give them such difficult tasks for homework. Well, if you thought about it, most of them were past the fourth grade level of thought, but she usually was able to do them without such trouble. This assignment required so much reminiscing of a part of her life she honestly never wanted to remember.

It was especially something she didn't want her teacher to read. Some things just had to be kept private, even if few else was.

Nothing left to do now but write it, however. She sat at her desk and fingered a small statuette of a fairy she'd bought at Hot Topic… it wasn't necessarily her scene, but when she heard Amy Brown merchandise was sold there she had to literally force Rhonda into going inside alone. She also had to prevent her from drawing any further attention to themselves by exclaiming how completely insane some of the fashions inside were. There she was daydreaming again. She didn't like daydreaming usually. Staying focused on the present was much healthier, that she'd learned long ago.

"Come on, Lila, you can do this," she said encouragingly to herself. "It's very simple. Find a childhood memory from as far back as you could remember and write it down. Not hard at all."

So which one was her first memory? She had so many of them from her small farmhouse, how was she to choose one? Maybe when she got her first ever pony… no, that wasn't far back enough. Perhaps she could write about when her and her cat Marigold got lost in the nearby woods when she was four.

Yes, maybe she should write about that. It was interesting, just a little scary, utterly adorable, and also had a happy ending. She reached in to her backpack and pulled out her English notebook, opened it to a fresh clean page and jotted down the memory in the form of a story, as well as she could write it. She didn't write often, but reviewing it, it didn't look half bad.

She looked up to her shelf, where a clock hung. It was about ten minutes past nine. Her father was most likely asleep by now, and she had time to brush her teeth and comb her hair before she went to bed. Five minutes later she flipped off her lights, save for a small, red, heart shaped lamp she kept on her bed stand. She gazed into it sleepily until she fell in to her dreams, where usually they were rather enjoyable. Tonight, however, was a dreadful exception.

She could hear the children around her run around. Playing stickball, catch, and all sorts of sports that Lila never enjoyed playing. She didn't see them, however, because she was far off to the side, looking at the ground. Her braided ponytail was blown into her face by the wind. She smiled softly, remembering the horses she loved so much at her neighbor's farm. They were the only people who didn't make fun of her for being so girly.

Even at the age of five, most of the girls were already tomboys from their life in the rural area, and whenever they saw her with her favorite doll or her plastic horses, they gave her mean looks. They never talked to her or tried to be friends like Lila did. It made her sad.

The bell at the front of their small schoolhouse was struck finally, and the students all ran to the front happily. Lila knelt down and picked up her favorite plastic horse, Jasper, and followed them to the front, where their parents waited to walk or drive them home.

Lila looked around for her mother, who was usually in their old blue car. She bit her lip, worried that she would be left alone and have to walk home. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her side, and she winced holding back tears. She looked up and saw her biggest bully, Jenny, sneering down at her is disapproval. "Go home and play with your dollies already," she said.

Lila frowned and looked at the ground in shame. Why was everyone so mean?

So she sat down on the school steps and waited for her mother to come. She waited until only her schoolteacher was left in the schoolyard. Lila started to cry when her teacher ran inside to pick up the phone that was ringing. "I hate it here," she whispered. "I hate it."

She heard pounding feet behind her and someone grabbed her from behind. It was her teacher. She didn't notice Lila was crying, but said, "I'm sorry, Miss Sawyer. You have to come with me in my car now."

"You're taking me home?" she asked the teacher. "Where's my mommy?"

The teacher thinned out her lips and said, "I'm taking you to your daddy right now. We're going to the hospital." She carried Lila to her car and sat her in the backseat. Lila looked up at her, worried. Where did her mommy go? Why was she in her teacher's car? Why didn't daddy just come and get her? What was happening at the hospital in the city nearby?

It took ten minutes for them to get there. Lila spent the whole time playing with her horse, fingering it as if it were glass. Finally, someone opened her car door. She looked up and saw the familiar face of her father.

"Daddy!" she cried, jumping into his arms smiling. "Where were you? Where ever is Mommy?"

He ran a finger around her braid and said, "I'm sorry honey… mommy got hurt by a bad man on her way to school. You remember what we've said about when good people die they go to heaven, right?" Lila saw a tear roll down his face. "Well, mommy's in heaven now."

Lila stared at her father with her mouth open. She had never seen him cry… and her mother wasn't here anymore.

She dropped her horse to the ground and stared up at him. She wiped his face dry. "It's okay, Daddy," she said through her tears. "Heaven's a good place to be, right?"

"Yes, sugar, it is," he said. He set her down on the ground and the two of them walked in to the hospital's small emergency room.

"Wait, Daddy!" she yelled quickly, running to where she had dropped the horse. She picked it up and grasped it tightly to her chest. Mommy gave this to me, she thought quietly.

The sounds of someone walking around outside her room woke Lila up. It was still dark outside. It was her father, walking around at night like he would do sometimes. She snuck up on him once and saw what he would do.

She easily fell asleep, and when she awoke the next day, she didn't remember that she'd been tossing in her bed all night from her tragic memory.

"Of course I agree with you, I already said earlier the same thing," said Dr. Bliss. "But as I said, this isn't the point. The children are only going to feel offended if you read their memories, written on paper by them."

"Haven't you come across the possibility that my class won't be entirely honest in what their first memories are?"

A/N: sigh Briana's bothering me to tell you all: Explanations is finally out of its incredibly LONG slump, Through the Compact Disc is actually FINISHED, and Valentine's Day II is about to get started again. It's just all on her mom's boyfriend's laptop and he has some weird Internet connection he can't get here or no floppy drive or something. Now, for MY news! Grumbles at Briana I had a somewhat short lived social life worth speaking about, that's all the kept me really besides my lack of will power. Also, Easter's my next favorite holiday to Halloween and Christmas: all of the chocolate. My mother unknowingly brought about the destruction of her own sanity by giving me three really big Pixie Stixs. The foolishness! I ask if all of the Teen Titans fans reading this go check out The Next Element, almost done with it's third installment.

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