"I don't have a choice in this at all?"
"Nope."
I sighed as I settled Quistis' guitar strap around my shoulder and tuned it. It was sweet little piece and easy to use, but I still wasn't sure about this. I think Dollet made it perfectly clear that they don't want me around.
We went through a few songs real quick, Squall showing me the music which I instantly memorized. Then we were walking back towards the bar with our stuff, all of us also carrying a piece of Selphie's drum set. Squall was wearing his usual getup, with the crisscrossing belts and white T-shirt and his really weird jacket. Zell was also in his usual getup. However, Selphie was wearing her stuff from the undercover days, the plaid skirt and knee-high boots. I was wearing a black Tshirt and black pants, like I normally did. Irvine was playing stagehand and carrying most of Selphie's stuff.
When we got back in, we set up, to the interest of the crowd, which grew slowly. I finished helping Selphie and went back to the bar for a last bit of confidence: a quick shot of tequila should do the trick.
"Uh uh, can't have you doing that." Selphie said, chipperly. "It'll ruin your voice!"
"Since when am I singing?" I asked, panicking.
"Since forever!" Selphie said. She pushed the tequila away from me and went into the back room, handing me my now-dry jacket. "Put it on, it makes you!"
Then we went to the stage. December dimmed the lights, and we started.

The first song was a cover, and Squall told me as he tuned his guitar that he wanted me to sing it.
"No." I said.
"Yes." He replied, insistant. I sighed defeat as we struck up the first notes.

...And it feels right this time
On this crash course with the big time
Pay no mind to the distant thunder
Beauty fills his head with wonder, boy...

...Says it feels right this time
Turn around, found new highlight
Good day to be alive, sir
Good day to be alive, he said....

...Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin' your way....

As I recalled, this song had been done with an orchestra...so Squall expertly plucked the notes that the orchestra would be playing. It sounded really awsome.

Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin' your way, yeah

...Don't it feel right like this?
All the pieces fall to his wish
Sucker for that quick reward, boy
Sucker for that quick reward, they say....

...Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin' your way, yeah....

Then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin' your way, yeah

It's comin' your way

It's comin' your way....
Yeah! It comes!

Yeah, then it comes to be that the soothing light
At the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train comin' your way, yeah

Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah

Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah
Then it comes to be, yeah!

I looked at the crowd, who was going nuts. I had never, in my entire life, felt so alive. I looked at Squall, who smiled at me.
We played a few of their songs and then left for a breif interlude, where I had the aforementioned shot of tequila and sat in the back room. December came and got me when we were ready to go again.
More of their songs, including one that Quistis had written. Squall sang it. I have a feeling it was originally a poem. It was soft, breathy, and very unQuisty-like.

The blood in my veins
Runs through crystal clear
It has no purpose to me
It serves me nothing to have it here
Nothing.

My eyes are blank and staring
My heart is heavy and cold
No purpose to a life worth living
To be young and still so very old
No purpose.

Loves but unloved
Happy yet sad
I'll never know what it's like
To have what I had
Never.

No purpose in living
No reason to go on
I hate to think my life
Was nothing but wrong
And it was.

So I take this knife
And run it across my skin
Never again will I be
In the pain that I'm in
Never.

I was awed as we took another break.
I downed another shot of tequila, shakily. This was amazing, and scary.
"Okay, Almasy, explain to me how the fuck you're still alive?" A gruff voice said from above the bar. I looked up into grey eyes. I frowned.
"Pardon?" I asked, rather politely, I thought.
The guy was the kind of person who'd fit into any crowd. He had brown-grey, nodescript hair, a boring face, and was just in general....average. In every aspect. Still, I made myself memorize what he looked like.
"I saw them beat you up within an inch of your life." The guy got real close-like, and my frown deepened. "You shouldn't be alive."
I felt a moment of panic. This guy...this total asshole...had been in with the fuckers who'd beaten me up. I felt my fist clench and restrained the urge to throttle the little cocksucker.
"Hey, Seifer!" Selphie said, chipperly, walking up to me. I relaxed and raised my eyebrow.
"Squall says we're doing some covers next, and he wants you to sing them."
I blinked. "Excuse me?"
"He says it's all stuff you should know, things he knows you like. Metallica, the Offspring, things like that." Selphie said, grinning. She took my hand and started dragging me towards the stage.
The guy gave me a look. "Better watch it, Almasy." He said, lowly. "Mr. Leonhart and his friends can't watch over you all the time." With that, he melted into the crowd.
I scowled as Selphie led me onstage.

Squall thrust a small list at me, and I gaped. Six covers? SIX? And I'd just taken a shot of tequila.
"Squall..." I said, my nerves already frayed.
He shook his head and began tuning for the first song. Which, appropriately enough, I thought, was "Kick Him When He's Down," by the Offspring. I gave an amused snort. Not Just Cause's normal kind of music, either.
We finished tuning and Zell gave a few cue notes before we ripped into the song. I stood at the mic and started singing.

"Hey, you're a riddle," I say
As I move aside
Like I really need your advice
You won't leave me alone
Little men try but don't get a lot done

I gave a look and found the man who'd confronted me at the bar before. He glared at me as I sang of little men, aiming the lyrics directly at him and whatever friends he'd coerced into attacking me from behind.

Livin' in sin don't move me either way
I get a feeling you're so vague
Like I said before
Little men come when anything goes

When the rain comes
I sit home and pray
Make it all numb
I wish it all away
All I really need is
Just somewhere to hide away

Squall and Zell joined in now, doing the backup vocals.

(Kick him when he's down)
Here alone I'll put up and fight
(Kick him when he's down)
Beat me all the way, I'll take it all night
(Kick him when he's down)
Hey, don't worry, I'll get along home alright

Hey, everybody's supposed to be the same
So how come they're so lame?
Like I did before--
I keep on running back into that wall

Awake in a dream
Get up, and go to work
But I'm feeling like such a jerk
Like I said before
Little men come when anything goes

When the rain comes
I sit home and pray
Make it all numb
I wish it all away
All I really need is
Just somewhere to hide away

(Kick him when he's down)
Here alone I'll put up and fight
(Kick him when he's down)
Beat me all the way, I'll take it all night
(Kick him when he's down)
Hey, don't worry, I'll get along home alright
It's alright

"Hey, you're a riddle," I say
As I move aside
Like I really need your advice
You won't leave me alone
Little men try but don't get a lot done

Livin' in sin don't move me either way
I get a feeling you're so vague
Like I said before
Little men come when anything goes

When the rain comes
I sit home and pray
Make it all numb
I wish it all away
All I really need is
Just somewhere to hide away

(Kick him when he's down)
Here alone I'll put up and fight
(Kick him when he's down)
Beat me all the way, I'll take it all night
(Kick him when he's down)
Hey, don't worry, I'll get along home alright

(So believe me)
Here alone I'll put up and fight
(Believe me)
Beat me all the way, I'll take it all night
(Believe me)
Hey, don't worry, I'll get along home alright
Alright
It's alright

I gave one last glance at the asshole from before, and then promptly ignored him the entire night.
Next up was one of Squall's songs, which he sang, of course. I was getting some good vibes from the audience, and some even better vibes from December, who kept giving me a thumbs up whenever I looked her way. I grinned. I was up again.
This next song was a song I wasn't too familiar with, which sucked because I had the opening lines as bass player and as singer. But I suffered through it; the lyrics meant something to me, and apparently to Squall too.

Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out
Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out of here...

Believe me
I'm just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
I'm just as lost as you

And every time I think I've finally made it
I learn I'm farther away
Than I have ever been before
I see the clock, and it's ticking away
And the hourglass empty
What the fuck do I have to say?

Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out
Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out of here...

Believe me
I'm just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
I'm just as lost as you

Keep it inside
The image portrayed
As if I couldn't stand losing
As if I couldn't be saved, no way
A small confession, I think I'm starting to lose it
I think I'm drifting away
From the people I really need
A small reflection
On when we were younger
We had it all figured out
Cuz we had everything covered
Now we're older, it's getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us
What the fuck are we going to be?

Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out
Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out of here...

Believe me
I'm just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
I'm just as lost as you....

Lost....
I'm just as lost as you, oh yeah
What am I going to do?

I'm afraid I'm falling farther away...
I'm falling farther away...
I'm falling farther from where I want to be

I'm afraid I'm falling farther away...
I'm falling farther away...
I'm falling farther away!

Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out
Please help me, cuz I'm breaking down
This picture's frozen, and I can't get out of here...

Believe me
I'm just as lost as you
Believe me, yeah
I'm just as lost as you....

I was briefly astonished at Selphie's drumming ability; you wouldn't think a chick like her could keep up with us, but if anything, she was one step ahead, keeping everything together. I was astonished at the entire band's ability to work together; even I, when put with such adept musicians, was keeping up and doing well.
December brought us some water bottles and we drank. The bar was getting kind of wild. I realized that...the people showed up because of us. Because they'd heard that Just Cause was playing here. I grinned.
Squall pointed to a song on the list and then at me, and I nodded. We tuned up and he leaned over
"Zell and I will support you." He whispered, winking. I sighed, but admitting to myself that I liked singing, liked being the focus of attention, and liked being up here despite the fact that there was a group of assholes out there who wanted to kill me, I struck the first note.

Breathe in right away
Nothing seems to feel this space
I need this every time
So take your lies, get off my case

Some day I will find
A love that flows through me like this
And this will fall away
This will fall away

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cuz I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cuz I'm a loser
I'm a loser, yeah

This is getting old
But I can't help these chains that I hold
My body's growing cold
There's nothing left of this mind or my soul
Addiction needs a pacifier
The buzz of this poison is taking me higher
And this will fall away
This will fall away

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cuz I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cuz I'm a loser
Well, I'm a loser

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cuz I'm a loser
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cuz I'm a loser, yeah

You're getting closer
To pushing me off of life's little edge
Cuz I'm a loser, baby
And sooner or later you know I'll be dead
You're getting closer
You're holding the rope and I'm taking the fall
Cuz I'm a loser
Yeah...

I leaned over to Squall. "One more song, and I have to sing it." I said. "One more cover that I'll do."
He frowned. "What song?"
I told him, and he smiled, nodded, and told the others. They all seemed to think it was appropriate, too.

Why drink the water from my hand?
Contageous as you think I am
Just tilt my sun towards your domain
Your cup runneth over again

Don't scream about
Don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

Don't worry about
Don't speak of doubt
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

Why follow me to higher ground?
Lost as you swear I am
Don't throw away your basic needs
Ambience and vanity

Don't scream about
Don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

Don't worry about
Don't speak of doubt
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

This was the part of the song that I thought was appropriate, and I looked at December behind the counter, letting her know that this was for her, and this Hyneforsaken month I'd just endured.

December promise you gave unto me
December whispers of treachery
December clouds are now covering me
December songs I'll no longer sing

December promise you gave unto me
December whispers of treachery
December clouds are now covering me
December songs I'll no longer sing

Don't scream about it
Don't think aloud
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

Don't worry about it
Don't speak of doubt
Turn your head now baby
Just spit me out

We didn't say anything, just set our instruments down and left the stage. It was almost one at this point, and we were all tired.
December ran up to me and hugged me; tears were streaming down her face. "I got it." She whispered to me. "I understand."

"No Leaf Clover" was written and produced by Metallica.
"My Life" is an original, emo, crappy poem by me. Don't steal it, I'll murder you.
"Kick Him When He's Down" was written by the Offspring, who are the most awsome band on the planet. Go buy their CD's.
"Still Frame" is copyright Trapt.
"Loser" is by Three Doors Down.
"December" is copyright Collective Soul, and is also the song I got the name of this fic from.

I know, I kept everyone waiting for weeks and weeks for what? SONG LYRICS??? But the next one will only have one lyric in it, I promise. And it'll be good, long, and hard....well, maybe not hard...wow, can you tell where my mind has been? I was just over at adult fan fiction dot net (had to spell it out cuz edits it out, the bastages)...guess that explains it. I'm sorry this chapter sucks, but it's a lead-in, and I felt that was a good place to end.

Tasha