DISCLAIMER: I don't own Nadesico. I don't own Kyosuke, Excellen, the white-haired lolicon, and the yellow-haired lolicon.

Chapter 1

The naturalization papers finally arrived in the mail. Gai picked up a large brown envelope from the mail bin and opened it. He read the text on one sheet.

"… Shall not undertake commitments or participate in groups and demonstrations of groups against the Earth Dominion…"

It made sense. After all, what self-respecting state would allow for dissenters and would-be traitors in the ranks of its refugees? A small smile on his lips, he replaced the documents and headed into his apartment, only to come back for the bottle of milk perched on the front step.

It had been some time now. Gai no longer flinched at being called a refugee. He had accepted it, much as Akito had accepted him as a friend. In his heart, he no longer felt that he was a Jovian – the papers in the morning's mail proved it to the bright blue Earth. He wasn't a traitor – a traitor was one who betrayed his friends and family, and he had none among the Jovians. A small twinge of something rose in him – taunting him, asking him inside how long it would be before he betrayed the Earthlings as well. He ruthlessly squelched it. A man rarely got a second chance to go through with life – and no way was he, Daigouji Gai, going to mess this up.

A sudden thought came to him. Opening the envelope once more, he scanned the first one he could reach carefully, and let out a gasp. He moved on to the other documents, and by the time he had looked through all of them, he was in a rage.

"Bastards! My name is not Yamada Jiro! That is a name for someone who is a chained hound of a heartless, mindless, military club! The true name of my soul is Daigouji Gai!"

Upset that the registry office did not honor his choice of names, Gai did the only thing a ticked off ex-Jovian soldier would do under the circumstances. He took a walk.

Gai paid no attention to where his walk was taking him. He passed schools, a busy shopping district, a movie house which proclaimed to all and sundry "Gekiganger V movie, Now Showing!" when he bumped into someone. Hard.

"Itai!" said a female voice.

"Oi, ano, gomen ne," Gai began, then looked at the person he accidentally mowed down, His eyebrows, along with his voice, rose. "Amano Hikaru-san?"

"Aa, Daigouji-san? Is it really you?" Hikaru asked, fumbling with her glasses, which had been knocked askew.

Gai got to his feet, and reaching down, pulled Hikaru up to hers. He had an apologetic grin on his lips. "Sorry about that. I have a lot on my mind."

"It's ok. I wasn't hurt at all – I've been shaken and thrown a lot worse than that when we were in the war, or have you forgotten we fought alongside each other?"

"He he, you're right."

"So, what brings you to this part of town? Are you here to see the movie?"

Gai looked at the posters, and smiled. "No, why should I? I have it on disc, as well as the whole Gekiganger 3 series," he said off-handedly.

"You do? All the episodes, until the last battle on the moon?"

"I even have some of the 'hidden' and 'removed' episodes too. I could show you my collection sometime, if you like."

"Why not now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why don't we go now? You do have a player at your place, right?"

"You just finished a two-hour movie, Amano-san. Aren't your eyes in need of a break?"

"Gai – may I call you that?" At his nod, Hikaru continued. "I draw manga for a living now. It entails staring at a white sheet, some lines, and a lot of text for hours on end. During deadline rushes I work non-stop as soon as I've finished breakfast, and stop only for meals. I think I can handle a 26-episode marathon."

"Fifty-two."

"Excuse me?"

"Gekiganger 3 has 52 episodes, and if you insist on watching the 'forbidden' episodes, you'll be watching around 60 episodes of Gekiganger. Each episode runs for half an hour each, with no eyecatches for commercials."

Hikaru was undaunted. "I still want to see all of it." She took his arm and started walking, dragging him behind her.

"Amano-san?"

"Please, call me Hikaru. Only my editor calls me Amano-san, and I get the feeling he wants to get into my pants. So please..."

"You're wearing a skirt, Ama – iya, Hikaru."

"I'm aware of that."

"Do you know where I live?"

The question brought Hikaru up short. Then with a sunny smile, she turned to answer Gai. "As it happens, no, I don't believe I know where you stay."

"Well, then," Gai started to say, but was interrupted by a loud, growling noise. To his amusement, blood rushed to Hikaru's cheeks. "I suppose you woke up late, no doubt from working through the night, saw on your calendar that today is the first day showing of the movie, and decided to watch it without having breakfast."

"Well, yes. But I bought something to eat while I was in there."

Without warning, Gai took one of Hikaru's hands, then the other. He held them close to his eyes. Hikaru was sputtering her protests, which died abruptly when Gai lifted his head a little and took a sniff. "Takoyaki, in sweet bean and tomato sauce, unless I miss my guess." He looked up, and saw her face. "What's wrong?"

"People are staring at us." Hikaru didn't sound too worried or concerned about the fact. Another rumble was heard. "That wasn't me!"

"No, that was me. I also went off without breakfast earlier. Unlike you, though, I didn't have a snack of any sort to fortify me in my walk."

"Then it's decided! Our first priority is to go someplace where we could eat, don't you agree?"

Gai mentally counted how much money he had on his person at the moment. Not too much, he thought. Being a war hero had its advantages, notably a pension of sorts, but it was just enough to support a man of his needs with very little or none allotted for vanities and things not falling under necessities; things such as going to a movie, or eating outside, or spending a day in town. It was, he decided, high time to get another source of income.

Mooching off an eccentric professor who had infinite funds to build and repair large humanoid weapons of destruction would be wonderful, but they were as abundant as hen's teeth here. Being a Jovian, in itself, was an occupation – all Jovian males of the right age were considered soldiers and received salaries. On the other hand, all Jovian young females had to do was to look good in school uniforms – assuming they weren't 'appealing' anymore, the government offered them a pension. It was so grossly unfair, and Gai was once again glad he had defected to the Terran side.

"Are you going to stare at me all day, Gai? It's not that I'm not able to appreciate admiration from the male of the species, but I would rather not be about to faint from hunger while being admired."

Gai realized he had been staring at Hikaru intently. "I'm sorry. I must be spacing out from my own hunger as well. As it happens, I do know of a place where we can get a great meal and a discount to boot."

"Really? Lead on, then!"

"Saa! Iku ze! Before the lunch crowds arrive!!" Gai took Hikaru's hand and started run, a grin playing on his lips. Laughing, Hikaru allowed herself to be dragged along.

If the panicked-looking crowd wasn't enough to warn the two otaku that something was wrong at their destination, the sounds of hand-to-hand fighting and collateral damage going through the roof surely would have. Gai and Hikaru exchanged glances.

"Do we wait it out, or do we investigate now?" Hikaru asked.

"My gut senses tells me that action is the better part of valor here." Gai began to approach the door of the ramen house carefully.

A black-robed body flew out of the doorway to land on the sidewalk. It groaned once, and then sank into unconsciousness. An indignant voice cried out from inside.

"You're not getting any of the girls, you perverted monks! Now get out of here before you really tick me off!!!"

Gai and Hikaru exchanged amazed glances. They knew that voice.

"Cover my back?" Gai asked Hikaru.

"Okay. But be ready to help me out when I shriek, alright?"

"Of course," Gai replied.

They peeked around the doorway, taking in the situation. It didn't look good.

"Gai, that's Tenkawa inside, isn't it?" Hikaru whispered.

"Yes, it's definitely him," Gai whispered back.

"What do you think he meant when he cried something about 'the girls?'"

"I think he's referring to a couple of kids hiding up the staircase, keeping watch on the proceedings."

"What – oh, I can't see it from my side, I guess. It's 3 against 1, stacked against him."

"Not anymore, Hikaru. We'll be helping him out with a little surprise attack form the rear. How far did your close combat fighting training go?"

"Basic. All the instructors at boot camp told me I was fast enough to compensate for my lack of muscle or natural aptitude, though."

"Good. That is very good news."

They peered in again, to see the 'monks' as Akito called them, brandish iron tipped quarterstaffs. Akito adopted a weird stance, hands outstretched as if to show he had no weapons.

"Gai? What about your close combat training?"

"All Jovians were trained extensively aboard the motherships' barracks." He left out the fact that as a sleeper, priority was given to his 'subterfuge' skills – meaning that on the same scale, he and Hikaru had equivalent training. He had size and hot blood going for him, though.

"A strange twist of fate has delivered all we seek into our hands, Tenkawa Akito. The Book of Apocrypha has been handed to your pathetic care, and we shall take it," the first monk intoned in a somber voice.

"She who is a girl, yet was never a daughter, the key to unlocking the secrets of the tome, we shall take also from your inadequate guardianship," the second monk hissed.

"And the runaway royal princess of Peaceland – with such a bargaining chip, untold possibilities will open for us, which you will never realize or have time to take advantage of," the third one said in a singsong voice.

"Now, listen up, you three, I have no idea what you're babbling about, but unless you each want a serving of knuckle sandwich with a can of whoop-ass on the side, I suggest you get out of here and forget about taking Lapis and Ruri from me."

"Three against one? Do not make us laugh. Do you really think you can win against all of us at once?"

"Why not? I've been outnumbered worse than that during the war, and three versus one aren't impossible odds, just tough ones. And I will beat you, because I don't mind tough odds!" Akito ended in a yell as he rushed the three.

Somewhere far, far away, in another universe or reality, a pilot with yellow highlights in his brown hair gasped in sudden pain as he accidentally bit his tongue. The odd thing was, he wasn't chewing anything at the moment.

His strawberry-blonde companion at the cafeteria table looked up. "Kyosuke, are you alright?" she asked. "What happened to you?"

"I bit my tongue. I'll lay odds that someone is stealing my lines, or making a parody of it."

"Shouldn't you have sneezed instead?"

"That's if I was being talked about, Excellen."

The fight was brief, but intense. When Akito hit the enemy lines, Gai and Hikaru charged as well, yelling their own battle cries and succeeding in grabbing the enemies' attention. That proved to be their downfall. Akito delivered a punch which his target tried to block with his staff, but the staff broke under the force of the clenched fist and proceeded to connect with the monk's face. The crunch of snapped wood and broken bone echoed sickly, causing the two albino girls on top of the stairs to flinch and close their eyes, a dull thud indicating that his opponent was out for the count. They opened them, just in time, to see Akito deliver a vicious chop to the nape of Hikaru's opponent, who was focusing all his attention at landing a blow on her. He went down, hard. Akito was turning to aid Gai, when his victorious shout of "GAI SUPER NAPALM!!!" rang out and he sent the third monk slamming into a wall, shaking the house. The monk never knew what hit him, as he slid unceremoniously to the floor, joining the other debris scattered around.

The three former shipmates were panting with exertion. They straightened from their crouches, unsure of what to do next. The situation was saved from being totally awkward by the sound of feet rushing down the stairs to survey the scene.

"Did you know those men, Akito-nii-san?" Ruri asked.

"It's the first time I saw those guys. But tell me, why did they seem convinced that you're a runaway princess of some crappily-named country, and what's this about Lapis being the key to some thing?"

Lapis did not say anything, just stared at Gai and Hikaru who were, at the moment, eyeing the battlefield for someplace to sit down on. Akito noted the direction of her gaze and grinned.

"Where are my manners? Gai, Hikaru, these are my wards, Ruri, the taller one, and Lapis. Girls, meet Jiro Yamada, who prefers to be called Gai Daigouji -"

"I'll legalize my name change soon, so better get used to calling me Gai," Gai interrupted.

"- And this lady here is Hikaru Amano. She was also onboard the Nadesico during the war, and she fought bravely alongside me and Gai."

"Pleased to meet you," Hikaru greeted them with a cheerful, if tired, smile.

A stomach growled, causing the three adults to grin wryly. "There's nothing like a brawl before lunch to whet the appetite, eh, Hikaru?" Gai asked jokingly.

"I wouldn't know, Gai. I don't make it a habit to eat in restaurants that are owned by friends," Hikaru caught the conversation serve, and batted it into Akito's court.

"Hey, what gives you the idea that I own this place?" Akito retorted.

"A few things. One, there are no other man's shoes in the stoop near the door, where the employees and employers are supposed to leave their shoes. Two, you're the only one in a cook's apron around here," Hikaru pointed out.

"And three!" Gai added, "You're still wearing that cook's uniform that they put on you when you climbed aboard the Nadesico. I can spot that distinctive yellow and black thing anywhere!"

"Cook's uniform?" Ruri asked suspiciously.

"Was a space battle ship's kitchen such a dangerous place?" Lapis wanted to know.

"It is! It is!" Akito went about, trying to salvage some seating for his guests. "Hazards include various acids, irritants, hot objects, exploding gas lines, blade and other pointy items, electrocution-"

"Not to mention love-struck women who cook up poisons worse than any bio-chemical weapon made by man and force you to taste-test them," Hikaru finished with a grin.

"Love-struck women?" Ruri repeated woodenly.

"Aaaaaaaanyway, since you two dropped by for a meal and ended up helping me out against those wackos-" Akito began.

"Speaking of which, they've disappeared," Lapis deadpanned.

That got their attention. They took quick, searching glances around, but the black-robed monks in straw hats were nowhere to be seen.

"Let's all get something to eat, then figure this mess out. It's been one hell of a morning," Akito said.

"Tell me about it," Gai retorted.

In the end, they settled on sitting on the wooden floor and having some Tenkawa-style special ramen. While they ate, Gai pulled Akito aside while Hikaru decided to try and bond with the girls.

"Where'd you get them?" Gai asked.

"The girls? I caught them making themselves at home – Ruri's a lock-breaker – and offered them a place to stay, provided they stayed out of trouble and made themselves useful. Ruri does some cleaning, and you should see them when they tally up the day's sales. They'd give calculators a run for their power cells. They race each other to see who totals the numbers fastest, and the longest they ever took was ten seconds. Lapis wins, usually, by one second."

"Wow," was all Gai could say, stealing a glance at the women.

"My turn to ask – why did you and Hikaru show up, together, in my restaurant?"

Gai related the events leading to their visit to Akito's shop, watching Hikaru amuse the girls with her ever-present spring-loaded eyeballs. "This is really good stuff, Tenkawa," Gai said, finishing the remaining broth in his bowl. "Mind if I have seconds?"

"I don't mind. Go ahead, Gai, help yourself."

"Thanks. Say, you're insured, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather not add cleaning up to their list of duties. I don't want the company to take the clearing expenses out of my policy. I'm gonna do it myself."

"I can help."

"You sure?"

Gai grinned. "Sure. Just feed me on the day when I'll be using elbow grease, and you can forget about my fees."

Over the next few days, Akito's shop was restored. He even had the signage changed. On the sign was written in kanji "Yami no" and in katakana "PU-RI-N-SU." Akito never claimed mastery in English, but the person who made the sign had even less. Akito wanted "Prince's Yummy" on the sign.

Gai dropped by one day and saw the sign. "Prince of Darkness? That doesn't sound too inviting to customers, Tenkawa."

"I know. I've been trying to get the man I commissioned for this sign, but his answering machine says that he's out of town." He pulled out a card and showed it to Gai.

"Mocker-E Company Names and Signs? I've heard of this company. They made the signs for the newest additions in my block. There's the mobile telephone company, 'Just Communications,' there's a disco, 'Rhythm 'n' Motion,' a ballroom dancing school called 'Endless Waltzing,' a grill restaurant called 'HEAT,' and many others."

"You say all these outfits got their names from this company?" Akito asked, horrified at the puns.

"Yes, if what I've heard from my landlords are true."

"Hum. I sense a conspiracy," Akito declared.

"Say, what are your plans to raise the cash to replenish your insurance policy?"

"That was easy enough. I had Ruri waiting on tables and Lapis manning the cashier window. Sales boosted overnight, let me tell you. I'm planning to add a video karaoke unit in one corner to lure more businessmen-types."

"Just be careful you don't draw in the lolicon-types. Like those two," Gai said, inclining his head toward two men in red military type uniforms. "A Lieutenant, that's the one with yellow hair, and a Major, the one with white hair and a katana strapped to his waist."

"What the – you can spot those types?" Akito asked, amazed. "Wanna work as a bouncer of sorts for me? I can't guarantee wages, but your meals are on the house. There's board if you want it as well."

Gai might be impulsive, but he wasn't stupid. "I believe I'll take you up on that offer, old friend."