Another War
Chapter 1- Tobias
Okay... I must confess that the first time that I read the conclusion to the animorph series I was not a happy camper. That was not how the story was supposed to end. Everything was supposed to turn out okay. After going back and reading the ending once more I understand why she ended Animorphs the way that she did, and I must confess that I agree with the way that K.A. Applegate finished it all. But I have always been two things- A devoted-to-happy-endings fanatic and a terrible what-if person. So here is my what-if-happy-ending version. Enjoy or shred as you will. You may now morph.
Disclaimer Animorphs belongs totally and completely to K.A. Applegate. I own nothing. Mores the pity.
Regrets- Tobias
The wind was crisp and sharp, pushing the clouds across the sky overhead as it ushered in the first hints of early winter. I hardly noticed. I hardly cared about the season changes anymore. Nothing really mattered anymore. WE had won the war, but it left us, or at least me, to wonder if it was really worth the price that we had to pay. I also knew that I was being selfish, but like I said, I didn't care about much anymore.
My feathers were rough and unpreened, blood still matted some of them from my most recent meal. Yesterday morning. I knew that I was too thin, not eating enough. Winter was coming on, and I was skin, bone, and feathers. And I didn't care. WE might have won the war, but I had lost everything that was important.
She was gone.
Rachel was gone.
I blamed Jake, even though I knew that it wasn't really his fault. He didn't make Rachel do it. I knew her too well for that. He asked, and she made the choice to go. She wouldn't have made any other choice. It was the kind of person that she was. She loved the rush of battle, the thrill of power, the surge of adrenaline that came with every skirmish, every fight.
She knew the risk that was involved with taking Tom out, and she accepted it as necessary. I think that she also saw it as a personal challenge. She went out just like she would have wanted, fighting to the last, going out in a blaze of bloody glory.
Sometimes I almost hate her. Hate her for leaving me here all alone like she did. But I can't keep that up for long. I loved her too much for that. Sometimes I hate myself too. For never having the courage to tell her that to her face. I know that she knew, we both knew, but that still doesn't make it any easier And now I would never to be able to tell her.
She would be angry with me, if she could see me now. In the condition that I was in. She was always a fighter, and here I was, giving up the fight. But I also think that to some degree she would have understood why. She always did understand me, when no one else really did.
I have to take that back. There was another person who used to understand me, at least a little. Ax did. But where was he now. Some big shot prince on his own space vessel, back with his own people. Maybe it was for the best. But I could still hate him. Hate him and envy him. He had a people to go back to... A place in the universe when I had and still have nothing.
I'm assuming that he's doing all right. Last I heard from Cassie they were all doing all right, to some degree. Marco is some bigshot millionaire, his dream in life fulfilled. Jake was a superhero in the eyes of the public and something of an honorary military professor, teaching the few humans allowed the morphing technology exactly how to use it Cassie is a bridge between the Hork Bajir and the government. She kept me updated on Toby for a while. I appreciated that.
But I hadn't seen Cassie in almost a year. It wasn't her fault. It was mine. She had tried, but I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to see any of them. And most of all, I didn't want to hear about any of them anymore. Them and their perfect lives.
Sure, I could become human. But why? There wasn't a reason for me to anymore. What would it get me? Money? Recognition? What was the point?
She was the only reason I would have done it.
And she was gone.
I spread my wings and caught the tail end of one of the breezy gusts, allowing it to lift me off my perch. Flapping was getting to be too much work anymore. I caught a weak thermal, but it was enough to lift my light body high, towards the clouds, and gave me enough altitude to reach my goal without much work on my part when I left it.
It was not much more than a cleft in the rock high on one of the cliff sides. A human from the ground could not have reached without specialized equipment, a lot of effort, and more than a little luck. Inside was an urn. It was empty. Rachel would have hated being stopped up in a little jar for all eternity. Her ashes now ride the wind with me.
But I kept the container. Any psychologist would have called it a pointless obsession, but I didn't care. I came up here when I wanted to remember. I used to morph, morph to human so that I could do something important that my hawk body could not. My hawk body could not cry. But lately I didn't have the energy to even to even do that. So I cried like the Andalites did. In my heart
I didn't stay long. In my current state, even this ritual was loosing importance. After a few minutes I launched back into the air. Tired. So tired. Maybe I would just go back to my tree and sleep. Sleep would be nice. Maybe I would dream a good dream, a dream where things didn't end like they did in reality. Maybe-.
PAIN!
It tore through my conscious and my being, like every fiber of me was being ripped apart. The ground was rising upwards through a tunnel of spreading blackness...
Yah, I'm in overtime right now. I should actually be doing schoolwork and instead I'm being a naughty girl and doing this. Anyway, please R&R if you like it. I can't promise an update any time soon, but if I get a lot of reveiws I might try and get something up a little bit faster.
