Hoo, boy. I know, I haven't updated for over a month… But I've had the worst case of writer's block EVER, and I had no idea where I was going with this. I still don't. Anyway… Please don't hurt me!!
Oh, yeah… In the past month that I haven't updated, I finally saw 'Fear Itself'… Wow. I did NOT mean to do that. But, whatever. It's still a cool story, right? Right?
I don't like this chapter. I've rewritten it several times, six different ways, and in at least four different languages. Okay, not really, but it sure feels like it. Anyway, on to the story! And remember to R and R!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans. But I do own this handy-dandy 'Plot in a Box'!
"Don't worry, man, we'll find her."
Beast Boy snorted in disbelief, not even looking at Cyborg. He'd heard that sentence so many times in the past month that it no longer held any meaning, and was just a bunch of words randomly mangled together, like, "Chickens stand on one leg in Western Australia". None of the words seemed to belong in the same sentence together.
He stared out the window at the cold, gray sea, flecked with white caps from the strong wind. The weather had been crummy nearly every day since she'd left, almost like it, too, missed her constant sanity and calming presence. The real culprit was a hurricane down south, but Beast Boy chose to believe otherwise.
"Weather still bad, huh?"
The changeling nearly jumped in surprised – he didn't notice Robin standing right next to him.
Cyborg was the one who answered. "It's been crappy every day for a month; why should it stop now?"
"It's going to be all right," the Boy Wonder told Beast Boy softly. "You know she can take care of herself. And if she felt that she was too… unstable to be around us, we'll just have to trust her judgement."
Beast Boy glared at him out of the corner of his eye, not turning away from the window. "Dude, you're not helping any." He was silent for a moment before asking, "But why couldn't she come to us for help? It's not like we would've turned her down."
Robin thought a moment, before replying quietly, "Maybe she didn't know that."
The changeling looked at him, confused. "What?"
Robin shook his head. "Maybe she was scared to ask for help. I don't know. Anyway, I have to go. I promised Starfire I'd take her to the movies."
He walked off, leaving a disbelieving Beast Boy to his thoughts. Replaying the conversation over again in his head, he snorted again. "Raven, scared. Yeah, right. And I eat meat."
"Can I hold you to that?" Beast Boy had forgotten that Cyborg was still there. He turned to face the half-robot, a humourless grin on his face.
"Yeah, whatever." He turned back to the window, grin disappearing. "Raven's not afraid of anything."
Raven inhaled deeply, immediately regretting it as she coughed on the dust in the air. She was coughing almost constantly now; the air was foul in the tiny, musty, cluttered apartment attic in which she'd made her home. She sat by the dirt-stained window, watching as the relentless rain pelted the glass, and feeling it, too; water dripped endlessly from the rafters.
The attic had a trap door in the middle of the floor, from which Raven was cleverly hidden by piles upon piles of cardboard boxes. The apartment's owner didn't know she was there, and she wanted to keep it that way; the empath was the sort of person you'd remember if you saw, and she didn't want anyone to know she was still in Jump City. Her dark eyes traveled slowly to a pile of greasy rags within arms' reach; her communicator was hidden in there, to muffle it should it go off. It would've been easier just to turn it off, but somehow, Raven didn't have the will to sever this last connection with her friends.
It was astonishing what one month had done to Raven. Her cloak was stained, and ripped in several places where it had caught on loose nails. Her violet hair fell in damp, stiff, greasy strings, and her empty eyes were bloodshot, with dark circles of exhaustion underneath them. Her stomach seemed constantly empty; she only left the attic for food and water at night, and even then could only scrounge up a bit.
The empath had long ago given up any attempt at meditation. The constant drumroll of rain was just too distracting, and even if she did manage to concentrate, she ran the risk of falling asleep. Of course, that was becoming less and less of a threat; she hadn't dreamt for weeks, on the few occasions that she'd let her guard down and slept. But she figured it was just luck.
A sudden harsh banging interrupted Raven's thoughts, as the attic trap door swung open, and an old woman emerged from it.
"All right, wench, I know you're up here! People seen you at the window! Now don't e'en think 'bout hiding… Ol' Lucy'll hunt ya down!"
Lucy emerged fully from the trap door, a long, metal fire poker in hand, looking immensely fierce. Raven shrunk down at the sight of her, silently grabbing her communicator from the rags. She would have to make a run for it; there was no way she could stay now.
A mouse rustled on the far side of the attic, and Lucy whirled around, away from Raven, pointing the poker wildly in every direction. "Get out o' there! Or I'll come get ya!"
Slinking behind the boxes, Raven made her way slowly around the edge of the attic, and towards the trap door. Finally, when she was as close as possible without being in full sight, she leapt out of her hiding place and made a dash for the opening.
At the sound, Lucy spun around wildly, swinging the poker just over Raven's head. The empath caught the surprised look on the woman's face for only a second before she was through the trap door and hurtling down the hall.
Around a corner, through a door, down another hallway, and a flight of stairs… And then Raven was outside, slipping and sliding down the street in the pelting rain. She ducked into an alley a few blocks away, stopping to slow her frantic, ragged breathing.
Hood pulled up and cloak wrapped tightly around her, she moved to the end of the alley, where she huddled between the wall and a dumpster. Already, she was soaked and shivering, her hair plastered to her pale, thin face.
She'd finally done it; she'd finally hit rock bottom. She had nowhere left to turn; not in Jump City, anyway. But she didn't want to leave… Where could she go?
She curled up tighter, trying to preserve body heat. She could leave the city, try and find some secluded place, where she couldn't hurt anyone. But… she hadn't had any dreams for a while. Maybe it would be safe to go home.
A police siren screaming nearby made Raven jump. That old woman, Lucy, must have called the police after Raven escaped. She groaned – this was not what she needed.
Deciding quickly, she realized that she didn't have the energy to make it out of Jump City alive. With a sigh, she resigned herself to her one choice left.
Beast Boy sighed distractedly, his mind continuously wandering away from the game of checkers that he was playing with Starfire.
"Beast Boy, is this a 'checkmate'?"
"Different game, Star."
"Oh." Starfire went back to musing over her next move, and Beast Boy went back to staring out the window. After a moment, though, Starfire looked back up at him. "Beast Boy, this is not helping you, is it?"
Beast Boy looked up at her suddenly, as if just realizing she was there. Remembering what she had asked, he shook his head. "Not really. Sorry, Star."
Starfire shook her head and began packing up, smiling. "That is all right. I know you are distressed over the plight of Raven." She set the box aside, and the two sat staring out the window.
"Raven will be all right," Starfire murmured, suddenly breaking the silence. Beast Boy snorted.
"You don't know that."
Starfire looked at him, smiling. "No. But I think she will be all right. Raven is strong."
The changeling glanced down at his cast, his last reminder of the empath. "I sure hope so."
It was still pouring as Raven huddled outside the Tower, hidden from view by a bush. She was tired, hungry, and shivering uncontrollably, but still she didn't go up to the door. She didn't want to be seen; she didn't want them to know she'd come back. Her plan was only to grab some food, catch up on some sleep, and then say goodbye… for good.
Her eyes drifted down to the overturned rowboat on the beach, half-hidden by as much sand as Raven could pile up. She had been too tired to fly to the island, so she'd had to rent a rowboat, using the last of her money.
The going across the water was little less than impossible, and had seemed to go on forever. Between the rain, the rough seas, and the wind, Raven was surprised that her little dinghy hadn't sunk halfway across. As it was, it was pretty low in the water when she finally pulled it on shore.
A sudden sneeze cause a bush nearby to glow black for a split second, then blow up, spraying leaves and twigs everywhere. Raven stared at it in horror, fixed to one spot, listening intently for the sound of footsteps over the patter of the rain.
Nothing. Thank heavens. Deciding that it would be best not to stay any longer, Raven stood shakily, took a calming breath, and flew unsteadily to the roof.
"All right, team, something weird's going on."
It was several days later, and the remaining Titans were in the main room, discussing the latest events.
"You think?!" Cyborg snorted. "All our food's disappearing!"
"That's funny… Nothing's happened to my food."
Cyborg raised an eyebrow at the changeling. "Good. Then at least we're not dealing with an insane thief in our home."
Beast Boy frowned. "Dude, tofu's totally edible."
"Whatever… Do you even know what it's made of?"
"Yeah… Tofu!"
Cyborg rolled his eyes with a snort. "The stuff's not even from this planet!"
"Not now," Robin interrupted, scowling at the two. "We have more important things to deal with."
Cyborg and Beast Boy both sat back. "So what is it that you propose we do?" Starfire asked, looking worried.
Robin thought a moment. "Split up and search the Tower," he finally replied. "Star, you search outside. Cy, basement. Beast Boy, you take this room and the bedrooms. I'll search the roof."
"I think it's safe to say there's no one hiding here," Beast Boy muttered, as he checked around his messy room. Unless they hid under the piles of clothing that hid the floor, he figured that his room was safe.
There was only one room left to check. Beast Boy stood outside Raven's door, staring at her name carved in the cold metal. Somehow, he couldn't will himself to open the door and search her room; it was a sanctuary, he shouldn't disturb it.
He thought of the many times he'd stood outside this door, begging to be let in. It was usually to apologize for something; he smiled bitterly, thinking of how he drove her nuts when she was here.
When she was here… Why had she left? Because of her dreams, he knew that. But… he couldn't help but feel as if he'd done something to make her leave. Would things be different if he hadn't said what he did? Would she have stayed? Or would she have left anyway, because what he said didn't matter? Because he didn't matter?
He shook his head, as if trying to scatter the thoughts from his brain. He couldn't think like this. He had work to do.
Starfire's voice rang from the communicator, a welcome interruption. "Friends, there is a boat on the beach! It is upside-down, and covered in sand."
Robin's voice answered hers. "Good job, Star. Titans, gather on the beach. We're going to see what's under that boat."
"One… Two…. Heave!"
Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boyeasily pulled the boat from the stiff, cement-like sand. Robin, who'd been excited at the prospect of catching the thief, didn't hide his disappointment.
"Nothing."
"Don't be so sure…" Cyborg commented. He was by the Tower wall, and was staring at the ground.
"What did you find?" In a couple of bounds, the Boy Wonder was at his side, and Starfire and Beast Boy joined him.
"Check it out." The half-robot pointed at a circle of leaves and twigs on the ground. Brushing some of them aside, he revealed a blackened circle of burnt earth. "It looks like the bush just… blew up."
Robin furrowed his brow in deep concentration, then gasped in realization. "Do you… think…?"
Cyborg nodded, glancing at Beast Boy. "She's come back."
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