Yay chapter twenty two! It's the home stretch after this one. Now to answer a review. agent-doo: tessaiga was crying out in actual pain. Like when Sesshoumaru attacked it with the dragon arm. If by fall you mean become a monster then, as mentioned before, Naraku did it. If by fall you mean Inu-Yasha beating Kagome in the fight then, as mentioned before, that's about as long as I can write them unless I try really hard. It got the point across though so it doesn't really matter though right? As for the swords names being capitalised… I just don't know. Once again a big thank you to all who reviewed. Now on with the story!
Kouga sniffed at the ground again, this time in the field where Kagome and Inu-Yasha had fought. "Looks like dog face got to her first" he said.
"Kouga" shouted Ginta indicating a spot on the ground, "look at this".
Kouga went over and looked to find a section of the ground that was churned up and burnt. Kagome's smell was all over that spot, there was even the faint smell of singed flesh. "What the hell happened here?" whispered Kouga before turning in the direction Inu-Yasha had gone. "Smells like they went that way" he said.
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Inu-Yasha was taking his time getting back. He didn't want to do anything extreme that would cause Kagome to get worse. She had finally calmed down and just held onto Inu-Yasha instead of thrashing around and digging her claws into him.
Besides Inu-Yasha needed time to think. So much had happened lately that his life and the lives of his companions had been turned upside-down. Hopefully Kagome would snap out of whatever had had hold of her when she woke up.
Inu-Yasha looked down at the girls face. The anger that had coloured Kagome's face was gone now. So was the hatred and contempt, emotions that had no place on her face even now after her transformation.
And what if Kagome did snap out of it? Would she be able to forgive herself for what she had done?
Inu-Yasha stopped when he caught a familiar scent. "Great" he muttered turning around, "just what I need".
Inu-Yasha stood there looking in the direction he had just come from until a whirlwind sped up to him and Kouga jumped out of it. "I'm not in the mood right now wolf," said Inu-Yasha trying to sound threatening but failing miserably. His heart just wasn't up to it right now.
Kouga snorted and glared at Inu-Yasha but froze when he saw Kagome. "What happened?" he demanded glaring at Inu-Yasha.
"I'm not explaining anything to you" snorted Inu-Yasha before turning back around and starting back down the road.
Kouga jumped in front of Inu-Yasha blocking the way. "Where do you think your going mutt?" he snapped, "you aren't leaving until I get some answers".
Inu-Yasha's eyes flashed dangerously causing Kouga to step back. "Look" snarled Inu-Yasha in a meanacing voice, "I don't give a damn what you do fleabag. But if you don't get out of my way right now I swear I will kill you. I'm not in the mood for any of your thick headed stupidity".
With that Inu-Yasha swept past Kouga ignoring his sputtering protests. Kouga eventually settled for just following Inu-Yasha once his companions arrived.
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Kagome's dream
Kagome was wandering through the corridors of her own mind. She had no idea what was going on. Images flashed by her. Her memories, her hopes, her dreams, all ran together in an endless tapestry of dancing colour and light.
It was so claustrophobic in here. It was like moving though murky water. Thoughts flowing around everywhere. But at the same time there was an endless open feeling about it. Like no matter where you went you would never reach the end of this place.
Except for her own footsteps Kagome could hear nothing, and yet this place was deafening. Bits of this place spoke to her mind. A million thoughts chattering away in an endless stream of ordered chaos.
"Who are you?" whispered a voice.
Kagome spun and looked for the source but found nothing. "Who are you?" she called.
"I am nothing," said a different voice.
"How can you be nothing?" asked Kagome, "your speaking to me aren't you?"
"You are speaking to nobody," said yet another voice, "you are hearing what you want to. Nobody is here but you".
"I want answers," shouted Kagome.
"Answers?" said one of the voices "I have no answers you don't already have. Like I said I do not exist".
Kagome stopped looking for the voice when she realised something. "I'm imagining you aren't I?" she said.
"Yes," said one voice "you are so desperate for answers you look for them even though you already have them".
"Already have answers?" asked Kagome. She was totally bewildered. What were these things talking about? "Will I ever find these so called answers?" she asked.
"Possibly" said one of the voices "it is human nature to be curious. Despite what you have become the true nature of the mind has not and cannot be changed".
"True nature?" asked Kagome, "and what is the true nature?"
"Facets can be added" said a voice, "but never taken back. You are who you are now and what you have been in the past. What you will be in the future will be added as well. But the truth is you must find the core".
"What core?" asked Kagome, then another thing occurred to her. It was like a light had been turned on. "If I'm imagining you and I know the answers already you can tell me".
"Your catching on" said a voice, "the core of who you are. Many people never find it. Never put the facet of their choosing into that place. The facet that ultimately determined who a person really is. Everyone knows this but few realise it".
"There's more to it then that though isn't there," said Kagome. It was a statement rather then a question.
"Of course" said a voice, "but they have no answers. They are made as needed and fade when their time is done, images in the facets of who you are".
"But what if you refuse to acknowledge a part of yourself?" asked Kagome.
"Then you will never be complete" said a voice, "you can shift from one facet to another instead of embracing them all. Such is the case with many and that is why they do not find their true selves".
"But that does not make them any less significant" said another voice, "they work together as a whole and yet totally separate to create the full spectrum. All facets shining through. More being added by themselves and others".
"But when one embraces them all" said the final voice as it faded, "they travel down the path to their full potential as a sentient being. They realise the perfection of imperfection. See the beauty in flaws. Everything is in perfect, ever shifting ever tilting balance. Now go find your role".
The surreal scene melted away and was replaced by and endless stretch of nothing. "What are you doing?" yelled a voice. Kagome spun around to find her double was back. "I thought you realised that you were me".
"No I'm not" hissed Kagome backing away, "you're a monster".
"You can't escape me," said the other Kagome, "I am you".
It hit Kagome then like a tom of bricks. This was what those voices meant. She could either push that side of her away, become it or accept it for what it is. She was so confused though. "You are me," said Kagome's double, "become me again".
"Fear" said Kagome.
Kagome's double stopped in her tracks. "What?" she hissed.
"I was afraid of you," said Kagome, "afraid of the side of me that became the demon. So I fought it. That was the pain I felt for so long, it was me fighting myself".
"Well that need not be the case," said Kagome's double, "become me again and bury what you were".
"No" said Kagome, "I'm not afraid anymore. I don't care about the consequences. Fear created you and I am not afraid any more".
Kagome's double began to fade. "No" she screamed, "I refuse to disappear". She lunged at Kagome trying to take over by force.
Kagome reached out and embraced her other self. "You won't disappear," said Kagome, "you are part of me. It's time I accepted it instead of jumping back and forth and fighting".
"But" whispered Kagome double, "I'm afraid".
"I know," said Kagome. The blank nothing faded along with Kagome's other self to be replaced by the endless green fields representing who Kagome was. The twisted corruption was gone along with the barriers. The crystal was still there though along with the sense of strong demonic energy. The spiritual energy was back though.
"Bravo" said Kenda walking out from behind the crystal "how do you feel?"
"I don't know? Admitted Kagome, "this is just a dream. Ill deal with everything else once I wake up". She grinned at Kenda then. "Any more advice?"
"No" said Kenda, "I'm done with all that. I've messed things up enough. Time for me to sit back and see if they work out".
"And if they do?" asked Kagome.
"Then I can finally rest in peace," said Kenda. He was about to leave but turned back. "Well one more piece of advice I suppose," said Kenda jerking his head toward the crystal. "Deal with that thing". With that Kenda sat down under one of the trees and didn't say another word, just watched.
Kagome approached the crystal and lay a hand on it. She could feel the corruption in it. She was still hesitant she realised. Even after all that had happened Kagome still recoiled from what she had become. Well no more, Kagome focused al the power she had and sent it coursing through the crystal. It shook before shattering into a billion little pieces and scattering everywhere.
As Kagome watched the landscape changed again. It became more rugged. The trees became thicker in some places becoming forests. The old spiritual energy returned in full force. The demonic energy grew to full force as well. But this time they didn't try to cancel each other out. Instead they flowed around each other working in harmony. Huge mountains rose in the distance capped with snow. The trees grew larger as well and rivers began to flow. Waterfalls began to fall down newly formed cliffs.
Kagome was now standing in the middle of a meadow in a forest instead of endless fields. The land had become more beautiful then ever but it carried a deadly but not sinister grace to it as well. It was to be respected because it would strike back if threatened.
"Interesting" said Kenda, "I'm almost glad everything happened the way it did".
"Why?" asked Kagome walking over to where Kenda sat.
"Oh nothing" he said, "just didn't think it was possible".
"Well this isn't over yet," said Kagome. For all this she still felt like a part of her was missing. She had given in and became something so terrible. How could she forgive herself?
"Probably not" said Kenda, "but whatever it is your companions may be able to help".
Kagome nodded and a tear rolled down her cheek as the dream of this place faded.
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"She's waking up," said Inu-Yasha. He picked Kagome up and shook her lightly as everyone else gathered around. Inu-Yasha along with Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku had arrived earlier. It had been hard for Inu-Yasha to tell them what had happened but he had eventually and upon hearing it even Kouga decided to shut his big mouth. "Kagome" whispered Inu-Yasha, "wake up, come on".
Kagome's eyes slowly open and she looked up at Inu-Yasha and then around at the concerned faces all around her.
Tears formed in Kagome's eyes. All the guilt that had been building up poured out. She threw her arms around Inu-Yasha's neck and sobbed into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry" she sobbed.
Inu-Yasha just held onto Kagome and whispered "don't worry. It'll be okay now".
Author's notes
Well there you have it. Don't ask. I think I confused myself a couple times. Chapter twenty three will be up tomorrow and chapters twenty four and five a day or two later depending on how soon I'm able to access a computer other then my laptop. Basically I'm going on a trip on Saturday and will spend the entire trip writng. Well not the entire trip but you get the idea. Ciao!
