A/N: Working title, sorry it's a lame one!
Light on Snow
1.
Outside it was snowing. The wind was blowing and from the window, Remus could see glimpses of ground, marring the white. He thought it typical – that even the purity of the snow would be so ruined by a smudge of dirt; that he would refuse to recognise the fun to be had outside with the children.
Winter had a new meaning for him. It could no longer be about fun outdoors, about snowballs and forts and a handful of ice down the back of your shirt when you least suspected it. It could only resemble how dead and empty his life was, now that he was alone. Sirius was gone, taken beyond the veil where Remus could not follow.
He turned away from the window, pacing to the fireside, before he could see that the snow covered completely the stain of the frozen ground. He had seen through the fogged glass that Tonks had joined the children and was, by her smile, enjoying the snowball fight with abandon. Remus grit his teeth. Her own cousin! Her flesh and blood, and she was outside throwing snowballs the first winter after he was gone.
He knew what everyone said about him, behind his back. That it wasn't healthy for him, all the moping about, and he should get out more and learn to have fun again. Molly brought him teas, and little boxes of mint chocolates. Albus gave his companionship, often sitting in comfortable silence. Alastor offered his gruff advice. Tonks and Kingsley tried to make him drink. Even Snape gave rough, if reluctant, words one month when he delivered Remus' potion. 'Pull yourself together, Lupin.' He had said with a sneer. Then, 'The Order needs you.'
That had left Remus staring at his door after Snape had left, in silent shock. The wallpaper by the top left side of the door was peeling. It seemed appropriate.
The door to the sitting room clicked closed. Remus blinked once, twice, trying to remove the dots of light in his sight, and he looked up from the fire. A very tousled and pink-nosed pair of young witches stood in the room, dripping snow and water over the faded carpet. "Are you alright, Professor?" Hermione asked. She looked like she was cautiously trying to calm a wild animal, ready to flee through the door if needs be. A now solemn Ginny stood by her.
"Please, girls, come and stand by the fire. You're dripping." Was all he said, and he moved away from the fire to stand near the window. He reached out a hand to the side table there and shut the book he had been trying to read. The two girls hesitated a moment, then moved to the fire side, swiftly discarding gloves and hats.
"It's lovely outside, Professor. You should come out with us later, after tea. If you can get past Fred and George; they've built a fort out there, by the back door." This last bit Ginny said with a giggle. Silently, Remus glanced out the window, his fingertips still resting on top of the book. "Oh," he said absently. "It's a bit windy for my tastes, I'm afraid."
A long and awkward silence followed. When Remus saw Hermione and Ginny look at each other uncomfortably, and Hermione's desperate kind of smile, he abruptly cleared his throat. "Well, you'll excuse me, girls. I have… things to do." A short pause, and then they all nodded to one another. Then Remus was leaving the room, striding as if he had a purpose, when really all he wanted was to flee. He forced himself to close the door in a dignified manner, and then he was heading up the stairs to his room.
"Not natural," he mumbled under his breath. Not natural, for animals to stare at one another like that. His hands shook slightly before he gripped them together, and he hurried quicker up the stairs, and firmly shut the door to his room behind him.
A heartbeat, two, three, passed, and then Remus let out his pent up breath and leaned back against the door, as if to keep the world out.
A/N: I have a bit more on this fic, but I'm afraid I have written myself into a corner. Constructive crits are certainly more than welcome, because while I'm sure where I want to take this fic, I'm unsure how to get there. Thanks :)
