One day, Ford was making a scientific experiment. He wanted to prove that one could walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. His test object was Arthur Dent. Arthur Dent was thankful for the bubblegum until he tried to walk away and tripped. When he tripped, he broke his nose.
"Oh," said Ford.
THE END
Zaphod was on a beach. He was having a good time with a lot of girls. He was really enjoying himself, in fact. That's when he found out it was a dream.
"God damn," said Zaphod.
He was actually standing in a tub fulla cold fish. This was worse.
THE END
One day, Trillian decided she wanted an ice cream sundae. She put some ice cream in a bowl. She added some melted chocolate. Then she added some fruit. She also put in some whipped cream.
Ford took the whole mess and ate it.
Trillian was absolutely livid.
THE END
Edward Chums was at a cool party having a lot of fun, for once.
Some idiot named Arthur Dent spilled some tea on his foot. A bit on it got on Edward's foot. His evening was ruined.
THE END
The universe is not a good place for the frail minded.
There are only two things constant in the universe and those are waiting in line for the toilet and grapefruit. At any given point in time it is practically guaranteed that someone is queuing up for the toilet or doing something or other with grapefruit.
Arthur Dent was waiting in line for the toilet in the midst of a raging party, feeling very nervous.
Arthur had many reasons for feeling nervous but none of them would pass as very good ones by his friend, Ford Prefect. Firstly, he was worried about what he might find in the bathroom as the host and the hostess weren't remotely humanoid. Secondly, he was rapidly being absorbed by something that seemed to be under the impression it was flirting with him. Thirdly and perhaps most pressingly, he was in the middle of a raging party he didn't want to be at which was many, many lightyears away from earth and saw no hope of returning to Earth in the near future.
There were several things it might have benefited Arthur to know at this point. A) There was no one occupying the washroom at this time, B) He might want to take care whilst flushing the toilet unless he wanted to vacate the bathroom in the same manner as it's previous occupant and, C) He ought to duck if he wanted to avoid the grapefruit projectile which was aimed for him.
Unfortunately for Arthur, he knew none of these things and was thus hit on the side of the head with a grapefruitit made a slightly squishy noise. Sensing Arthur's injury, the lifeform, which had absorbed his leg, detached itself and went off in search of a stronger mate.
A RECORDED CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE OOBLEX CRUSH
"Lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll"
"Yeh Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp—p-p"
"I think…we're famous…"
"We ar-we-are"
Googly, sloshy type noise.
"That s-s-s-s—sss-sounds like a lot of work"
"Yeah, probably. But it won't…Bad…Worry you…"
"What?"
"Nevermind."
END OF RECORDING
