Sweet Dreams

#6 Nearest Distance - Lonely

Slightly angsty at first, in Ren's POV. I was pleased that everyone liked the last chapter, even though I didn't like it in my opinion. -; I don't really like this one either... but really, what kind of stories can you expect from 'Nearest Distance'? o.o;


I was leaning against the back of the chair, calmly gazing out the window with a blank look on my face. This was all an act, of course.

Outside the window I saw her smiling and talking to someone. I couldn't see who she was talking to, but I couldn't help but feel slightly jealous of the person she was talking to her. I wished that it was me she was smiling at, me that she was talking to so happily.

But it was okay. I didn't mind at all. I was satisfied, just watching her from afar. Near enough to watch her, distant enough so she never noticed.

For the past 3 years, I'd been watching from the nearest distance, secretly admiring her from a good enough distance. She didn't need to know about me. She didn't need to know about the weird guy who had been in love with her for years.

"You're lonely, Ren."

My sister had said that statement so many times to me. But I'm not lonely. I have everything I could ask for... Besides, I'm a warrior. I can't afford to feel lonely.

I threw another glance at the window, disappointed that she had already left. Sometimes, even the nearest distance from her felt so lonely...

"Hi Ren, what are you doing?"

I jumped, quickly turning around to be met by those deep blue eyes I'd been dreaming about for so long. Up close, they looked even more beautiful as I tried not to stare.

"You seemed a bit lonely in here, so I decided to join you." She said with a smile, seating herself next to me.

Her smell overwhelmed me, and I couldn't think very clearly with her being so close. This was too close, too near.

"...I'm not lonely." Yes, I wasn't lonely. I wasn't lonely at all. I just liked to be alone, and in my opinion dreaming was much better... I guess, in reality, I was just afraid of rejection. This way I could keep on imagining, in a world where everything went just right.

I'm not lonely.

She gave me another shy smile, a smile that made me fall in love with her again, and again, and again. "You don't talk much... we haven't talked much, either, have we? You do know my name, right?"

I knew she was just joking; but it was true. I was surprised she even remembered my name. Because I'm too cowardly to speak to her, to smile at her, to acknowledge her in public.

"Why are you here?" I asked. It came out in an accusing tone, and I immediately regretted my words. I could feel her drifting away again.

"I see you here everyday, gazing out the window. You just look so... alone. Why don't you join the others?"

I don't know what was wrong with me. Was it the stress, the aloneness, from being isolated from everyone, just gazing silently at my love for so long?

"I'm not lonely!" I yelled, violently kicking the chair away. "Why does everyone say that I'm lonely? I'm just fine, alone..."What was wrong with me? I'd never felt so... lost, unsure, suffocated before. I'd promised myself that I would never be lost again. That I would never be unsure. But here I was, lost because of some stupid girl.

She looked surprised at my sudden outburst, but her eyes softened as she saw my troubled face. To my surprise, she stood up as well, looking straight at my eyes. I felt myself falling, falling into the dark blue endless pit... And I didn't want to be saved at all.

"I'm not lonely..." I mumbled pathetically, finally tearing my eyes from hers.

She caressed my cheek, her gentle fingers burning me. "No, you aren't." she agreed softly. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, no matter how much I willed myself too.

I guess her words woke me up from the dream I'd been living in for the longest time. I took her hands, which had still been gently caressing my cheek, and kissed it lightly. "No, not anymore..."

Maybe being near, instead of just watching from the nearest distance, wasn't that bad after all.


I didn't know how to interpret 'Nearest Distance'. ; Meep. Oh well. And I say Ren was a bit OOC in the end... lol.

Next up- Restraint (tis very angsty)