Chicago happens to be one of my all time fave musicals, and this is my fave
song. So shall we?
The Dungeon Block Tango
Cho: Pop!
Pansy: Six!
Ginny: Squish!
Luna: Uh-uh!
Hermione: Greenhouse!
Millicent: Zabini!
Dean as the band caller: And now the six merry ladies of Professor Snape's
detention present their rendition of 'The Dungeon Block Tango!'
[Lights come up and show six doors, each with a girl behind it dancing]
Cho: Pop!
Pansy: Six!
Ginny: Squish!
Luna: Uh-uh!
Hermione: Greenhouse!
Millicent: Zabini!
Cho: Pop!
Pansy: Six!
Ginny: Squish!
Luna: Uh-uh!
Hermione: Greenhouse!
Millicent: Zabini!
All: He had it comin'!
He had it comin'!
He only had himself to blame!
If you'da been there!
If you'da seen it!
Hermione: I betcha you woulda done the same!
Cho: Pop!
Pansy: Six!
Ginny: Squish!
Luna: Uh-uh!
Hermione: Greenhouse!
Millicent: Zabini!
[Cho's door slides open and she steps forward and begins dancing with a
silhouetted young man]
You know how people have those little habits that get you down?
Like Colin Creevy!
Colin liked to snap photos
No not snap, POP!
So I come off the pitch this one day after having lost a match
And looking for a little bit of sympathy
And there's Colin standing by the lockers, chugging a butterbeer and
snappin'
No not snappin', POPPIN'!
So I said to him, I said
You pop that camera one more time... [Starts giggling like mad]
AND HE DID!
So I pulled out my wand and shot two Stupefys
INTO HIS HEAD!
All: He had it comin'!
He had it comin'!
He only had himself to blame!
If you'da been there!
If you'da heard it!
I betcha you woulda done the same!
[The girls all sing 'He had it comin' as Pansy steps forward and begins
dancing with her partner]
I met Draco Malfoy when I was eleven years old
And the society papers said he was single
We hit it off right away
After a few years we started dating
We'd snog in the halls
We'd go to Hogsmeade together
We'd pick on Gryffindors
It was like we owned the whole school
Then I found out
Single they told me
SINGLE MY ASS!
Not only was he dating
Oh no, he had six chicks
One of those players ya know
So one night in the hall
I lured him out after hours, as usual
Ya know some guys just can't take a good Crucio!
All: He had it comin'!
He had it comin'!
He took a flower in its prime!
Then he used it!
And he abused it!
It was a hexing but not a crime!
[Ginny prances forward and begins her dance]
Now I'm sitting in the Great Hall
Eatin' Roast Chicken for dinner
Mindin' my own business
Over storms Corner in a steaming rage
'You beat Cho to impress Potter?' He says
He was crazy
And he kept on screaming 'You beat Cho to impress Potter!'
Then he ran into my fist
He ran into my fist ten times!
All: If you'da been there!
If you'da seen it!
I betcha you woulda done the same!
[Luna reluctantly slouches forward]
::Luna begins speaking in the language of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack
Her voice rises and falls slowly, revealing her pain, fear and emotion::
Ginny: YEAH, BUT DIDJA DO IT!
Luna: Uh-uh! Not guilty!
[The girls all sing 'He had it comin' as Hermione saunters forward]
My friend Viktor and I had considered dating
So he came to Hogwarts as a surprise
Now whenever he came to see me
We'd always go do fun things together
Swim, dance, picnic, sneak to the kitchens, fly
All kindsa good stuff
So the last time he visited
We were down in the Greenhouse having a picnic
Ya know the two of us, talkin, havin' a few laughs
Well we run out of ice, so I go to the kitchen to get some
I come back
Open the door
And there's Viktor
Snogging the face off Lavender Brown
THE WHORE!
Well, I completely blacked out I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later
When I was in the infirmary
I even realised they had been hexed!
They had it comin'!
[Rest of the girls: They had it comin'!]
They had it comin' all along!
[Rest of the girls: They had it comin all along'!]
I didn't do it!
[Rest of the girls: She didn't do it!]
But if I'd done it
[Rest of the girls: But if she'd done it!]
How couldja tell me that I was wrong!
They had it comin'!
[Rest of the girls: He took a flower in its prime!]
They had it comin' all along!
[Rest of the girls: Then he used it!]
I didn't do it!
[Rest of the girls: And he abused it !]
But if I'd done it
[Rest of the girls: It was a hexing but not a crime!]
How couldja tell me that I was wrong!
[Millicent rises from the floor and starts dancing]
I loved Blaise Zabini more than I could possibly say
He was my perfect guy
Pureblood
A hottie
But he was always trying to find himself
He'd go out every night looking for himself
And on the way
He found Ruth
Gladys
Rosemary
And Draco
I guess you could say we broke up over commitment issues
You see he's committed to staying alive
And I am committed to making him DEAD!
All: The dirty bum...
Bum...
Bum...
The dirty bum...
Bum...
Bum...
All: They had it comin'!
They had it comin'!
They had it comin' all along!
'Cuz if they use us
And they abuse us
How could you tell us that we were wrong!
All: He had it comin'!
He had it comin'!
He only had himself to blame!
If you'da been there!
If you'da seen it!
I betcha you woulda done the same
Cho: You pop that camera one more time...
Pansy: Single my ass
Ginny: Ten times
Luna: Rambles in the language of the Crumple-Horned Snorkack
Hermione: Snogging Lavender Brown that whore
Millicent: Commitment issues
Cho: Pop!
Pansy: Six!
Ginny: Squish!
Luna: Uh-uh!
Hermione: Greenhouse!
Millicent: Zabini!
[The six separate doors slam shut]
