Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug

Album: Rauru at Large

Title: I'm Fat

Real: "I'm Back" by Eminem

(Rauru, clutching mic, backwards baseball cap, phat pants, etc.)

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I gorge when I dine, one bite at a time,

You never, seen a waistline as enormous as mine

You better, get rid of that diet, it ain't gonna fly,

What good's it gonna do against a man that butters his pie?

I need triple by-pass just to stay alive,

Manicotti, you're safe for a time, be thankful I'm full

I used to be a Health and Fitness poster boy at 112,

At 113 I was puttin' shellfish in my head by the pail

I usedta, get punked and bullied 'bout my weight

'Fore I put this kid's dog in the microwave and made doggie steak

I used to jog a mile, now I jog a mile less

What do I think of carb-less? It sucks,

Too much stress, my heart'd regress, it's best, I guess

I must've just fattened up quick (yes)

Eatin' Bisquik (no)

Never eat right

Whatever I eat's wrong, whatever they say's right

You think of my name now whenever you say "dins"

Dealin' with obesity 'cuz I'm never T. H. I. N.,

F. A. T. cuz Food Channel TV is so yummy to me

My health's a casualty

Was that snack worth it?

Look at my gut, how is this perfect?

Feed my lips, bitch, what, my mouth overworkin'?

You see this waffle-maker upside down?

When the little light is on I'll take it out and chow down

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I take each individual Chee-tos bag and tuck into it

Just to see if these orange fingers'll be a fashion statement in the future

And if you feed me this snack I'm an innocent victim

And become a lump on the couch in my living room

MMM YUM-YUMMERS! My name is Rauru

I've been bloated way before eating was all I had to do

The Sun Chips sensation THIS IS THE LOW-CALORIE

With Frito-Lay who gives me all things edible

It's, nacho cheez, on the, sofa grooves

Want ta, clean it up but don't, want ta move

It's a, gluttonous world we live in these days

RAURU, FOR PETE'S SAKE, PUT DOWN THE CRÈME BROULEE!

Geez! You guys are so sensitive

Rauru, it's a health issue, try to avoid desserts

Stomach with no food in it,

I get so frenetic cuz

I'm blind with hunger, cuz

In my kitchen, filled with kinds of food

In there doin' links of sausage

Then waddlin' back and sitting down all full and fat

MMM, that's where I get my gut from

That's why they call

They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

I take seven cans of Sprite, stand 'em all in line,

Add some honey-glazed ham, a roast beef and a lime

Some mashed potatoes and that oughtta solve that problem of mine

And that's just a snack, you should see dinnertime

I'm, overweight, they say I'm a reprobate,

Just because I have a tendency to polish off a plate

And by the way, low-carb? What makes that so smart,

Am I the only one who realizes steaks are full of lard?

Should I buy a StairMaster, go out and jog faster?

It's a disaster, I ain't cardiovascular

That's why I tend to not follow diet plans

Cuz all I want is desserts like ice cream and flan

So I just, throw back a bag of chips and let it rip

Wrap the leftovers for better future gorging

Cuz if I ever stood up, my heart'd attack

I'd throw out my back,

And you know this is fact,

Cheeze Puffs, I'd eat a bunch, even if I could I wouldn't stop,

I'd eat day and night and be full of delight,

And become immobile and sit on my couch

And just be a slouch

What's my name?

I'm, real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,

They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat

(yum-yummerz, guess who's fat)

Ham time

Doritos

Dr. Pepper

Rauru, two-thousan'-and-four

I'm hungry for some more