Artist: The Notorious F.A.T.: Flabby-Ass Thug
Album: Rauru at Large
Title: I'm Fat
Real: "I'm Back" by Eminem
(Rauru, clutching mic, backwards baseball cap, phat pants, etc.)
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
I gorge when I dine, one bite at a time,
You never, seen a waistline as enormous as mine
You better, get rid of that diet, it ain't gonna fly,
What good's it gonna do against a man that butters his pie?
I need triple by-pass just to stay alive,
Manicotti, you're safe for a time, be thankful I'm full
I used to be a Health and Fitness poster boy at 112,
At 113 I was puttin' shellfish in my head by the pail
I usedta, get punked and bullied 'bout my weight
'Fore I put this kid's dog in the microwave and made doggie steak
I used to jog a mile, now I jog a mile less
What do I think of carb-less? It sucks,
Too much stress, my heart'd regress, it's best, I guess
I must've just fattened up quick (yes)
Eatin' Bisquik (no)
Never eat right
Whatever I eat's wrong, whatever they say's right
You think of my name now whenever you say "dins"
Dealin' with obesity 'cuz I'm never T. H. I. N.,
F. A. T. cuz Food Channel TV is so yummy to me
My health's a casualty
Was that snack worth it?
Look at my gut, how is this perfect?
Feed my lips, bitch, what, my mouth overworkin'?
You see this waffle-maker upside down?
When the little light is on I'll take it out and chow down
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
I take each individual Chee-tos bag and tuck into it
Just to see if these orange fingers'll be a fashion statement in the future
And if you feed me this snack I'm an innocent victim
And become a lump on the couch in my living room
MMM YUM-YUMMERS! My name is Rauru
I've been bloated way before eating was all I had to do
The Sun Chips sensation THIS IS THE LOW-CALORIE
With Frito-Lay who gives me all things edible
It's, nacho cheez, on the, sofa grooves
Want ta, clean it up but don't, want ta move
It's a, gluttonous world we live in these days
RAURU, FOR PETE'S SAKE, PUT DOWN THE CRÈME BROULEE!
Geez! You guys are so sensitive
Rauru, it's a health issue, try to avoid desserts
Stomach with no food in it,
I get so frenetic cuz
I'm blind with hunger, cuz
In my kitchen, filled with kinds of food
In there doin' links of sausage
Then waddlin' back and sitting down all full and fat
MMM, that's where I get my gut from
That's why they call
They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
I take seven cans of Sprite, stand 'em all in line,
Add some honey-glazed ham, a roast beef and a lime
Some mashed potatoes and that oughtta solve that problem of mine
And that's just a snack, you should see dinnertime
I'm, overweight, they say I'm a reprobate,
Just because I have a tendency to polish off a plate
And by the way, low-carb? What makes that so smart,
Am I the only one who realizes steaks are full of lard?
Should I buy a StairMaster, go out and jog faster?
It's a disaster, I ain't cardiovascular
That's why I tend to not follow diet plans
Cuz all I want is desserts like ice cream and flan
So I just, throw back a bag of chips and let it rip
Wrap the leftovers for better future gorging
Cuz if I ever stood up, my heart'd attack
I'd throw out my back,
And you know this is fact,
Cheeze Puffs, I'd eat a bunch, even if I could I wouldn't stop,
I'd eat day and night and be full of delight,
And become immobile and sit on my couch
And just be a slouch
What's my name?
I'm, real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
That's why they call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat,
They call me real obese, I'm fat, I'm fat
(yum-yummerz, guess who's fat)
Ham time
Doritos
Dr. Pepper
Rauru, two-thousan'-and-four
I'm hungry for some more
