Chapter 2

The next morning I am woke up by my name being screamed from down the hall. I quickly get out of bed and hurry down the hall to Marie's room. She calls my name again more franticly as I enter her room without stopping to knock. Hurrying to her side, I reach out a hand to comfort her and softly say, "Hush, I am here. I will not let anyone hurt you." However, this time she is not as easily comforted by these words and my hand on her arm.

Instead, she sits up and looks up at me with tears in her eyes and says between sobs, "it... was not... the men... that I dreamed... of this time... it was my parents." She begins to shake as the tears begin to fall anew.

Unable to stand the sight of her so distraught I sit beside her on the bed and gently take her into my arms. I wish I knew more about what had happened to her parents so I could say something to ease her pain. Oh, but doesn't she feel so good in my arms... I could easily get used to this. "Hush," I say surprised that she does not pull away from my embrace. "It is over now. It is in the past."

Looking about, I find the handkerchief I had given her yesterday lying on the pillow next to her. I hand it to her, reluctantly backing out of the close embrace. "Dry your eyes," I say gently.

Noticing a strange look come over her face, I realize that in my haste to reach her side I had forgotten about my mask. My God, why is she not screaming? She does not look terrified of me... more like fascinated. What can this possibly mean? Quickly I turn away from her wishing to hide my face from her sight. "I am sorry," I say. "I did not mean to scare you."

"You did not scare me, Erik," she says as she reaches out a hand to my shoulder turning me to face her once more. "I had suspected that your face must have been deformed for you to wear a mask. I also remember the song you were singing when I woke up that first time."

"You mean I do not frighten you?" I ask in disbelief. I still cannot believe that she had actually let me, a monster, hold her in my arms. I am simply stunned by such a discovery.

"Not at all, Erik," she says reaching a hand to my deformed cheek gently caressing my twisted and scarred skin.

I must be dreaming, I think to myself. She did not scream at me... and she is actually touching my face. "How can you stand to touch my face?" I ask. "My own mother would not even look upon my face without the mask on let alone touch it."

"It is just a face," she states simply. "Anyone who cannot see that is a fool."

"Then the world is full of nothing but fools," I reply, "for you are the only person to have ever looked upon my face without being repulsed by it. I could not even do what you have done. When I was five I had misbehaved and my mother forced me to look in a mirror without my mask on. For a very long time I had nightmares of the monster I had seen reflected in that mirror. I eventually realized that the monster I had seen in the mirror was myself."

"Oh, Erik," she says softly. "You are not a monster. A monster would have walked right on by while I was being beaten. A monster would not have saved my life and dressed my wounds. A monster would not have sat with me while I slept to ward off my nightmares. A monster would not hold my brother so gently. A monster would not have come running when I awoke screaming from a nightmare. No, Erik, you are not a monster," she states with conviction.

Listening to her words I find that a tear has escaped my eye and is moving down my twisted cheek. No one has ever tried so adamantly to convince me that I am not the monster I have always believed myself to be.

"I better go put my mask back on before your brother wakes up. I would not want to scare him," I say as I reluctantly stand up. "I suppose I ought to get dressed too," I add, realizing I am wearing only what I sleep in, black silk pajamas. In my haste to reach her quickly, I did not even take the time to put my robe on.

"You will not scare my brother if you do not have your mask on," she states. "As for getting dressed," she adds, blushing a bit, "surely you are not embarrassed. If anyone should be embarrassed it should be I. After all, you will need to be changing my dressings soon."

The thought of changing her dressings while she is awake causes me to turn a bit red in the face myself. "I could give you something to make you sleep while I change your dressings if you like," I offer, hoping that she will accept.

"There is no need for that, Erik, I promise I will not cringe from your touch," she says shyly.

"Still," I say as I walk towards the door. "I do not normally make a habit of running around in my night clothes all day."

"Neither do I but I do not have much choice," she says with a laugh. "One more question, Erik," she says more seriously.

I stop at the door and turn to look at her still having a hard time believing that she looks upon my bare face as though it belonged to any other man. "Yes?" I ask.

"If my brother and I were not here would you still wear your mask?" she asks in a tone that tells me I cannot lie to her about it.

"No," I answer simply. "I only wear the mask when I am venturing out among people or on the very rare occasion that I actually have guests in the house." With this said I know what she will say next.

"I would much prefer for you to not wear your mask. There is no reason for you to wear it. I am not repulsed or frightened by your face and my brother will not be either," she states matter-of-factly and I know it would be useless to argue with her.

I nod my head in acknowledgement and hurry down the hall to my room. Charles is awake and watches me as I walk through the door and towards the crib. No time like the present to see if Marie was right about her brother. As I lean over the crib, Charles reaches up in a gesture of wanting to be picked up. I reach down and pick him up and he squeals and smiles at me like he always does... even without the mask on.

As I sit in my chair holding Charles, I try to sort out all the confusing thoughts that my encounter with Marie provoked. She is not afraid of me. She is not repulsed by the sight of my face. She does not think of me as a monster. She left me hold her in my arms without my mask on. She does not wish for me to knock her out while I change her dressings. Why would she want to be awake while I look upon her bare flesh? Why does she insist that I remain unmasked while I am around her? Why is she not afraid or repulsed by my face? Why did she allow me the bliss of holding her in my arms? She is so lovely. What is she doing to me?

Realizing that I have spent too much time dwelling on these thoughts I place Charles back in the crib and go about the task of getting dressed. Once dressed I leave the room reluctantly leaving my mask behind and head to the kitchen to make Marie some breakfast and to warm Charles some milk.

I carry the tray of eggs, toast, and orange juice I prepared down the hall to Marie's room. I knock on the door softly and wait for her to invite me in.

"Come in," she calls, sitting up in bed as I open the door.

As I take the tray over to the bed and sit it across her lap I say, "I thought you might be hungry."

"Thank you," she replies with a smile. Just then Charles begins crying.

"I will be right back," I say to her as I quickly leave the room. To save time I grab the bottle of milk from the kitchen on my way to my room. As I enter my room I look towards the crib and seeing a wet spot I realize why he is crying. How could I have forgotten that babies need to be changed? Because I have never been around babies, that is how. I carefully pick him up and carry him down the hall to Marie's room. I hope she has something for him to change into.

"I believe your brother needs to be changed and I am afraid I do not know how to go about it." I admit reluctantly as I enter her room.

"That's alright," she replies as she moves the tray aside and slowly swings her legs over the side of the bed. "I'll teach you how. Give him to me and bring me the bag."

I take the few steps that bring me to her side and gently place him in her waiting arms. I then cross the room and pick up the bag that I had first discovered him in. Crossing the room once more I place it on the bed beside Marie and wait for further instructions.

"In the bag you will find a blanket and a change of clothing along with a square cloth," she says. "Spread the blanket out on the bed and lay Charles on it."

After I spread the blanket out I take Charles in my arms once more and lay him down gently in the center of the blanket. Marie is watching me closely the whole time.

"Now," she says with a smile, "undress him and wash him." Indicating the basin and cloth sitting where I had left it for her.

"Are you sure that I will not harm him?" I ask, becoming quite unsure of myself. This feeling is one that is quite foreign to me, for I have never doubted my ability to do anything I cared to try.

"He will not break," she says trying not to laugh.

Having no choice I begin to carefully unfasten his clothing. This would be easier if he would not squirm so. It had been quite easy to undress Marie, I think to myself, a simple pair of scissors had done the job nicely.

"What are you smiling about?" she asks and I suddenly realize that I had in fact been smiling.

"I was just thinking is all," I reply turning red at being caught with my thoughts were they had been.

"It must have been a pleasant thought," she says slyly, "to have made your face turn such a lovely shade of red."

"Yes, it was," I admit, quickly turning back to the task at hand. I had managed to get him undressed down to his diaper which I am unfastening now. Charles seems to find the situation amusing as he is lying there giggling and squirming under my careful hands.

Laying the safety pin aside I bring the basin over to the bed and sit it on the floor. Dipping the cloth in the warm water I begin to clean Charles. This task was much easier than undressing him. Satisfied that he is clean I dry him off with a nearby towel. Once this task is accomplished I look over at Marie and ask, "What do I do now?"

"Now, you have to take the square cloth and fold it so that it is shaped like a triangle. Once you do that, you have to place it under Charles and put it on just like the one you took off," she says. "When you fasten it with the safety pin be sure to put your one hand between the cloth and his skin so you do not prick him with the pin accidentally. After you get it fastened dress him in the clean clothes."

Doing as she says I fold the cloth into a triangle and place it under Charles. Bringing the three ends up to meet in the area of his belly button, I place my hand between the cloth and his skin as instructed. As I put the safety pin in place I prick myself.

"Are you alright?" Marie asks while trying to hide a smile.

"I am fine, thank you." I reply and then return to the task of dressing him. I find that it is not nearly as difficult as I had thought it would be. It only takes a few minutes to get him into his clean, dry clothes.

"There," says Marie. "It wasn't that hard now was it?"

"No," I reply. "I am sure it will go a lot faster next time." I then pick Charles up and hand him to Marie. "I am going to go get his crib and bottle." I then turn to leave the room.

"Erik," she calls after me.

"Yes?" I say turning to face her.

"When you get back will you be changing my dressings?" she asks shyly.

"It would be a good idea. I do not want your cuts to get infected." I reply hoping she cannot see how the thought of cleaning her wounds made my face turn red.

"Charles and I shall be waiting for your return," she says with a small smile gracing her lips.

"Are you sure you do not wish for me to bring you something that will make you sleep while I check your wounds?" I ask again at the same time wondering how I am going to get through this with her awake and alert.

"I am sure," she replies. "You do not frighten me, Erik. I trust you with my life. I know you would never hurt me."

"You are aware that you will have to remove the nightgown for me to care for most of your injuries, are you not?" I ask, still unsure of why she affects me so.

"Yes, I am aware of that," she replies turning red once more. "But you have already seen me undressed and I am sure that you will be completely professional while caring for my wounds." she concludes.

I nod my head in acknowledgement and quickly leave the room. Does she have any idea what she is asking me to do? How can she bear the thought of me looking at her naked flesh? Touching her skin? How am I going to survive the sweet torture of touching her and caring for her wounds without her knowing how it is affecting me? I could not even undress her brother without remembering her lying in that bed with nothing on!

Reaching her room with the crib and bottle I quickly change my line of thinking and try to calm myself before entering her room. I have to appear professional. I have to act as though this is nothing more than what it is... me caring for a woman's injuries. I have endured worse things. How hard can it be to look at her wounds and not at the rest of her? Oh, but she is so lovely!

"Erik?" Marie calls. "Are you out there?"

"Yes, Marie, I am right here." Not wasting anymore time I take the crib into the room and sit it where it had been the previous day. I then take the bottle over to the bed and hand it to Marie.

"Thank you," she says.

"You are quite welcome," I reply as I cross the room to sit on the sofa and watch her give Charles his bottle. I can see quite easily how much she loves her brother and I find myself wishing that I were him. My own mother never held me with such tenderness and love... it seemed that she could never leave the room fast enough, always shutting the door behind her. The only time she did come into the room was when I cried to be fed or changed. Noticing that Charles is finished with his bottle and now sleeping contentedly in Marie's arms I get up and walk to her asking, "Is there anything I can get you?"

"There is one thing, Erik." she replies. "Can I please use your bathroom? I think I am strong enough to get out of bed now and I would like to freshen up a bit."

"But of course!" I say chiding myself for not having thought of this myself. "Your bathroom is through this door." I say as I walk the short distance to the bathroom door and open it for her. "Forgive me for not thinking of this sooner."

"It is not your fault Erik." She admits hastily, "Until now I haven't been able to stand without getting dizzy. If you would put Charles in the crib for me I will go freshen up now."

"Of course," I say hurrying to remove the sleeping child from her arms and gently place him in the crib.

Getting up she wobbles unsteadily towards the bathroom door and I hurry to her side to offer her a supporting arm. "I thought I was over my dizziness," she says while looking up at me sheepishly. "I guess I was wrong."

"Do not worry," I say gently as hold her to my side, "it is normal to be dizzy so soon after being unconscious. I will help you inside and leave you to your privacy. If you need help once you are finished, call for me and I will help you back to bed. I shall be right outside the door."

"Thank you," she says softly as I help her into the bathroom taking care not to look towards the mirror. I nod my head in acknowledgement and quickly turn and leave the room, shutting the door behind me, still feeling the warmth of her body pressed so close to mine. While I am waiting for her to finish in the bathroom I watch Charles as he sleeps in the crib.

The door opens slowly and Marie walks through commenting quietly, "You did a very good job at stitching the cut on my head."

"I have had a bit of practice tending my own wounds." I remark as she walks back to the bed. She is walking much steadier than she had earlier. "Why don't you get back in bed now and I will go fetch what I need to tend to your wounds." I say thinking it would be best to just get it done and over with already.

"Alright," she says looking at me shyly.

"Are you sure you do not want me to give you something to make you sleep Marie?" I ask once more, hoping she will reconsider what she is asking of me and has changed her mind about accepting my offer.

"I am quite sure," she states firmly, leaving no room for argument.

"Then I shall be right back." I say reluctantly as I leave the room to get what will be needed to clean and dress her wounds. Why must she insist on being awake while I care for her injuries? Why can I not wear my mask while doing so? It would be so much easier for me if I could, at least she could not see my face turn red of embarrassment. Why does she effect me so? I never felt this nervous around Christine.

Having gotten everything I will need I walk slowly back to her room. I stop at her closed door and knock softly.

"Come in," she calls, looking at the door as I open it slowly.

Walking over to the dresser I set the items down and get a clean sheet to cover her with as I had done the night before last. Walking back to the bed I begin to remove the quilt and quickly replace it when I realize that she has already removed her nightgown. My reaction to this discovery must have been humorous for she is laughing at me.

"I am sorry," I say as I quickly back away from the bed looking away from her and hoping she did not see how red my face must be.

"If anyone should be sorry it is I." She states. "I should have told you that I had removed my nightgown while you were gone. Can you forgive me?" she asks softly.

"There is nothing to be forgiven for." I reply. "Why don't you cover yourself with the sheet instead of the quilt while I check on Charles. I will keep my back to you until you have finished." I add hastily.

"May I ask you a question Erik?" she asks gently.

"But of course," I reply quickly, still not looking at her.

"Before I ask could you please turn around? I do not wish to ask your back the question." She adds with a light laugh.

"I am sorry," I say relaxing a bit at her sense of humor. I turn around and she pats the side of the bed silently inviting me to sit down. I oblige but take care not to sit too close to her. "What is it you wish to ask?"

She reaches out and takes my hand in hers. "Why did you react the way you did when you began to remove the quilt?" she asks shyly.

"I had not realized that you were not dressed." I say trying desperately to turn away but she is keeping a very strong grasp on my hand preventing me from moving.

"But you have seen me without my clothes on before. Why is it any different this time?" she asks innocently.

As I look into her bright blue eyes I realize that this woman trusts me to tell her the truth and I know that I cannot bring myself to lie to her. With this in mind I take a deep breath and then I begin. "It is different because when I was caring for your wounds the night before last you were unconscious and it was your injuries that I was seeing. I did not look beyond the cuts and bruises. The only time I allowed myself to really look at you was when I was dressing you in the nightgown and then it was only briefly. I am sorry that I took advantage of that opportunity while you were unconscious but my curiosity had gotten the better of me. That was the first time in my entire life that I had ever seen a woman naked. Again, I apologize and I assure you that I did not do anything inappropriate. I would never take advantage of a woman." With that said I quickly turn my gaze away from her lovely face bracing myself for the slap that I surely deserve.

"Erik, please look at me." She says softly tugging on my hand. "I am not mad at you if that is what you think."

"You are not?" I question while turning to look at her seeing understanding in her eyes.

"No, Erik, I am not mad at you. You did nothing wrong." She says reassuringly.

"How can you say that?" I ask unbelievingly. "What I did was unthinkable. I took liberties that only a husband should have. I should not have looked beyond your lovely face." Realizing too late what I had just said I look away from her quickly embarrassed by my lack of the self-restraint I always pride myself upon.

"Erik," she says as she moves into a sitting position. Holding the quilt with one arm she reaches her free hand to my face. Forcing me to look at her once more she gently caresses my deformed cheek. "Listen to me. You did nothing wrong." She states firmly. "I do not blame you for looking at me. I would have done the same thing if I were in your position. Now, will you please see to my wounds?" she says as she calmly lies back down.

I stare at her in disbelief. "You mean that after what I just said you still wish for me to care for your wounds?"

"Yes," she says simply.

"I thought for sure that after that admission you would demand that I take you to the nearest doctor to be cared for." I say still shocked that she would want this monster to look at her and to touch her bare skin after admitting what I had done while she was unconscious.

"You may not be a doctor but you have been more gentle with my brother and I than any other man has ever been. I know that you will not do anything to harm me." She says with total trust in her eyes.

"As you wish," I say reluctantly giving in to her insistence that I care for her wounds. This woman ceases to amaze me. I stand up and turn my back so that she can replace the quilt with the sheet.

"Erik, could you please help me? I am not yet strong enough to do this on my own." She says sheepishly.

"I have a better idea," I say thinking of where most of her injuries are. "Can you roll over onto your stomach? I will not need the sheet if you do. Most of your injuries are on your back and sides. This way I can lower the quilt as far as I need to and not be tempted to look at what I know I should not."

"I can do that." She says and I hear her shuffling around in the bed. "I am ready Dr. Erik." She says with a laugh.

Not being able to resist her humor I relax a great deal and as I turn towards her I say, "If you are a good patient I will make you lunch and if you feel up to it later I will take you to my study."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." She says smiling at me sideways.

As I carefully lower the quilt I see her blush a bit before she turns her face away from me. I work steadily at cleaning and redressing her wounds being as gentle as possible. Even with her back towards me I am unable to get the image of her that first night out of my mind and I am glad that she cannot see my face. It is very hard to resist the urge to caress her soft skin but I know that I dare not. I remind myself that I must be professional about this. Pushing all thought out of my mind as best I can, I work as quickly as possible reminding myself that the sooner I get done the sooner I will be out of this awkward situation.

Finally finished, I cover her with the quilt and step back from the bed. "Your wounds are healing nicely. I should be able to remove the dressings in a few days if they continue to heal at this rate."

"Thank you," she says rolling over and looking at me shyly. "At least we know how to go about this tomorrow." She says with a smile.

I nod my head and quickly turn away hoping she did not see my face become redder than it must already have been. "I shall leave you alone to get dressed now. If you would like to wear something other than the nightgown for now there are several dresses in the armoire that should fit you nicely." I say as I move towards the door. "I will go prepare something for you to eat. If you need me simply call for me."

"Thank you, Erik, I will remember that." She says with a smile as I glance back at her before leaving the room and closing the door behind me.