"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N: What's good in the hood? XD I'm sorry… I'm not quick with updating, me being busy with school and other things that hold higher regard nowadays. Like my Lord of the Rings research paper…XD If anyone has any secondary sources about Frodo and Sam or knows how to define Gollum as a tragic hero, let me know. This was only supposed to be a one-shot, and now I don't know where I'm taking it!  It's not going to be too long, though.


A curl of gray smoke escaped from Quistis' lips as she sat at the kitchen table. Seifer had since seen Zell to the door but she couldn't find it within herself to say goodbye. Zell didn't mind; now that he knew what he knew, saying goodbye had a finality that he didn't want to face. Quistis was aware of this. As long as she had known that man, he could never, ever say farewell without revealing the child in his heart. Even on the day when we moved to Edea's home Zell had a hard time coping with it, Quistis mused in her mind. But he was always so protective of the people that he loved… Us being out of his sight was probably so upsetting.

She stared absently at the cigarette in between her index and middle fingers. The smoke rose upward like a winding snake, silent and prepared to attack its prey. Its musty scent was not particularly amicable with the salty sea air – the combination began to irritate Quistis' eyes. She flicked the ashes of the cigarette into an ashtray waiting upon the table and watched as the embers faded to a dull and dark hue. Why the woman began to smoke she never could comprehend. It was one of those things that she never foresaw and just happened one day completely without warning…just like her current condition. Since I'm already dying – let's not pretend, because I am – why the hell not? I mean, it can't make me feel worse than I already do.

You have such a negative attitude, Quistis. Learn to brighten your outlook a bit, all right?

Shiva.

Shiva was the only Guardian Force that Quistis bothered to hang onto. She doubted that anyone was looking for her… There were more powerful creatures out there that would be of better assistance to SeeDs. The majestic ice woman, although strong in her own right, was better off with Quistis anyway. They shared a bond that no other human had, or even bothered to cultivate, with a GF. Most would only treat the spirits that they held with respect so that they would arrive quickly in battle to smite an enemy; Quistis, however, found a sense of solace in knowing that Shiva was there for more than an aid in battle. She could always talk to her, and Shiva would most usually answer back.

"I would, if I could." Answered Quistis bitterly, "But it's kind of hard, knowing what's going to happen to me and all."

Perhaps it won't come around so soon if you try to enjoy what you have left. Sitting around, smoking cigarettes and pitying yourself won't solve your problems.

The blonde haired woman suddenly got angry. She lightly slammed her fist down on the table… Shiva meant well, but talking about her future more often than not put Quistis in a terrible mood. "What do I have left, Shiva? You act like I have all the time in the world to live, but I don't."

Do you not realize that to someone, you are the world?

"What are you talking about…?"

"Talking to yourself again, Quis?"

All of a sudden, Shiva's last inquiry made blinding sense to Quistis. Seifer stood behind her and placed his hands softly on her shoulders, murmuring something that didn't make much sense. She blinked and dropped the cigarette into its tray. How could she have been so stupid? Here was a man that loved her more than life itself and would gladly give up his own just to see a halfhearted smile on her face, and she was smoking her time away. Quistis immediately felt guilty; she took his wrists and wrapped his arms around her neck, like a warm scarf. Seifer's lips were next to her ear now – she could hear his breath, steady and hushed.

"Why didn't you put on a heavier shirt before you came out here? You're so cold…" He whispered. "If I'd have known, I could have gotten it as I was seeing Zell to the door."

"I'm sorry, Seifer." Quistis tried to look at him, but only got a view of his profile. "I really feel fine now, but… Hyne, everything. I'm sorry…"

"It's no big deal!" Seifer laughed softly and placed a kiss on her cheek before standing. "I'll go get it for you."

As he left, Quistis began to slowly stand herself. She looked out the window and could only see the reflection of the sun on the sea… It was noon. Usually, as it got later in the afternoon, Quistis could see the yellowish orb hanging in the sky. The warmth of its glow made the woman happy; the kitchen and any other room in the house with a window facing the sun at that point was painted in orange. If I could, that's one thing I would do… Paint some of the rooms in this house. Seifer and Quistis made the home their own, but never did any real renovating. The paint on the walls, now worn, faded and cracked, had been around when they were still children.

She wrapped her arms around herself; perhaps Seifer was right. For a summer afternoon, she was quite chilly. Maybe it was Shiva's way of chastising her… Shiva was willful to a fault. The goddess knew that Quistis had realized what she was trying to say and looked out at the ocean through her eyes. She longed for her keeper to summon her so she could enjoy her own body for awhile. It was a farfetched dream, unfortunately, seeing as Quistis was so weak… The last thing on her mind was summoning.

Although morbid, Shiva knew that once the woman died, she'd be free once more. It was something that she anticipated but didn't want to come quickly. Quistis had been so nice to her… She could have given her to a young and inexperienced SeeD but opted not to, which was against Garden policy. Instead, Quistis brought Shiva to live a peaceful and warless life. This was something that the Guardian Force liked, but she felt so useless. Shouldn't a loyal GF help her master out in some way? Doling out advice when Quistis was depressed just didn't seem sufficient.

…Shiva wanted Quistis to be happy once more.


I apologize for the length of time in between these chapters. Again, I'm extremely busy… But with Spring Break coming up, I should probably be able to finish this if I really tried! 333