"Sandcastles"

By: Apolena Soleil

A/N: Slowly but surely I'm getting this finished, guys… It's tough, but I am. I just got a job and I've been there almost every day, taking up the time that I wanted to use to finish this. Uuuhhh. But I promise that I'll work more diligently. I let my mind take me places in this quick little chapter, so forgive me if the symbolism is a little funky. I just couldn't help myself. xoxox


She used to be so different. Even when we first found out that she had something that'd kill her, it never stopped her. Why is it that all of a sudden she's so…I don't even know. It's as if we're finally reaching the end…

Seifer had found Quistis' heavy shirt awhile ago. He knew she was waiting for it, but for some reason or another he couldn't find it within himself to actually give it to her. It was slung absently on the back of a chair in their bedroom. Quistis always loved wearing it. The shirt was oversized, as if it was made for someone else. What she was thinking when she bought the article of clothing, Seifer couldn't guess. He never saw her wear anything baggy; Quistis was the definition of neat. She was scrupulous about what she wore time and time again. If it wasn't her typical pink dress, it was a pair of perfectly ironed pants and a fitted blouse.

Things hadn't been so thought out as of late. She slipped into garments that were loose fitting almost every day…sometimes Seifer pondered if she liked the feeling of practically swimming in her clothes. Instead of her long, blonde hair being pulled back in a tight bun, Quistis let it hang. It was brushed, but she let it blow this way and that, as if the breeze was trying to steal it from her head. Her eyes were tired, like they had seen so much and were bored with seeing anything more. Makeup was something of the past, for Quistis never had the energy to apply it.

Once, a long time ago, Seifer had seen an older woman walking down the street in Balamb. He approximated in his mind that she was about forty years old. For her age her hair was a vibrant red color, similar to that of wine. Emerald eyes were hidden behind a pair of the thinnest rose colored glasses. To Seifer, she was absolutely gorgeous. A celery green dress that hung to her ankles was what she wore; it blew carelessly in the sea air. He couldn't help but wonder what she looked like now…she was at least forty five. Was she still as beautiful? Did the ocean wind complement her as well? What was her life like for her to walk with such a blithe gait? Hers must have been a life of privilege, for she looked as if she never frowned in her entire forty years. She looked like a woman that never wore a baggy shirt, that was for sure.

Quistis was once just as carefree. Even for a SeeD, she hid her troubles well…at least since she and Seifer fell in love. It was as if everything that happened before that moment vanished and Quistis emerged anew. She laughed more often, smiled daily… Seifer gave her a reason to be alive. They spent a great deal of time walking around, not even saying anything much because they just knew what was going through each others' minds. At night, Quistis slept comfortably in his arms even though her room was just down the hall and around the corner from his. He used to stroke her back while she slept, the starlight brightening her already glowing skin. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he'd think back on the red haired woman and wonder if Quistis would ever be that happy. He could see her in her own green dress, perhaps holding the hand of a child or carrying a sack of groceries, just like a normal lady.

If he could be granted one wish, it would have been for Quistis to live a life of beautiful normalcy. He wanted her to trade in her baggy shirt for a green dress…he knew she could, with a little help. Seifer tried to make he see that in these last days, but to no avail. His lips turned into a dismayed grimace as he thought about what he did for her. All of the days I spent watching over her, all the nights I carried her in from the beach…is she even grateful for it? She sits at that damned table smoking for Hyne knows how long! Has it ever occurred to her that when she dies, I'll be alone!

Seifer let anger momentarily overcome him. He picked up the shirt and flung it across the room. It crumpled in a tiny pile in the corner. Quickly he composed himself and stared at his hands. How effortless it was to just throw the garment! On Quistis, it seemed to almost be a living thing…the shirt moved with her, kept her warm… It was the fashion for a dying woman. Seifer sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes.

…it was too much for him to bear as the finality of Quistis' life suddenly hit him. For all that he did, all that he sacrificed, she was just going to die. Was he the dumb one for trying to prolong her life, or she for being the one that gave up hope so easily? Seifer couldn't make heads or tails of it as his heart broke into a million pieces. He never imagined her actually dying…what life would be like alone. Alone. Quistis was going to die and leave him alone. Seifer would have to live in a big, empty house as the sea rolled in and out, thinking about happier times and trying to look ahead and carry on. Could he do it? He was once a brave and cocky young man who never would have thought twice about Quistis or anyone else. Although at that time he never had such deep emotions, he also never would've run the risk of getting hurt. Letting someone in was almost a blessing and a curse.

What am I going to do? Suddenly, the tears in his eyes began to flow freely. Seifer Almasy, once a valiant and strong man, had been reduced to a child over the mortality of the woman that he loved. A whirlwind of inexplicable emotions overwhelmed his heart. He was mad at himself for letting himself fall in love so deeply, being aware of the fact that he'd be crushed in the end. He was afraid, not knowing what was to happen once he lost Quistis. He was saddened and hoped beyond hope that his entire life with Quistis was a dream, or at least the part that involved her death. He wished he never met her and was scared to let her go all at the same time.

Seifer knew that Quistis relied on him for so much, whether or not she knew it or was appreciative of it. He chastised himself – now wasn't a time to be looking for gratitude. Even if Quistis didn't know, she was his world; the least he could do before the sun went down on that world was make sure that it rested in peace. The man finally realized that there would never be a green dress for Quistis, nor would she ever walk so beautifully. That woman, he comprehended, was only half a human being. She never knew the bitter sting of life, only the smiles and happiness that came with the good times. She wouldn't be able to relate to death or tears. On the other end of the spectrum was Quistis, who had barely even cracked a smile in her short twenty seven years. It wasn't until Seifer came into her life was she happy, and even that amount of time didn't compensate for the sadness that she knew and what loomed over her happiness with him like a black storm cloud.

That's all I can be for her…the other half. Seifer stood and made his way to the shirt. Picking it up, he studied it carefully – and for the first time, he took notice of its color. The shirt was a pale green. A halfhearted smile crept upon his lips as he left the room.