Chapter 7

I take my time gathering the equipment I will need while mentally preparing myself for the sight that will be waiting for me when I return to her room. How am I going to remain professional after what we shared earlier? How am I going to resist the urge to caress her bare skin? I must be professional... she trusts me to be. Where is the willpower and restraint that I have always prided myself upon? This is when I need it most and it seems to have abandoned me. I will be professional, I tell myself, I have no choice but to be. Arriving at her door ten minutes later, I knock softly and wait for her reply.

"Come in," she calls and I slowly open the door. She is already lying on her stomach under the quilt.

"I see that you are ready," I say as I set the tray on the dresser. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, I walk to the bed and slowly pull the quilt down so that her dressings are exposed. Oh, but does she not look so tempting lying there without a stitch on? I must be professional, I remind myself. I then begin the task of removing her dressings.

"How do they look?" she asks as I remove the last of the dressings. Gently stroking the skin around her cuts I ponder this question. Most of the cuts on her arms and sides are barely noticeable. There are, however, a few that were worse to begin with and are still not fully healed. They could probably do without being dressed but I would not want them to be bumped open accidentally... or so I tell myself.

"Most of them are healed enough to no longer need dressed. But, there are a few that should be dressed for a few more days." I say beginning to dress those that still need to be. Her skin feels so soft beneath my fingers and I allow them to linger briefly as I tend to each wound. Professional, I remind myself, I must be professional. After dressing the last one, I reluctantly pull the quilt back in place but not with out tracing my fingers lightly up her back as I do so. "There, all finished." I say as remove my hands from the quilt and turn back to the tray.

"Thank you, Erik. Are my stitches ready to be removed?" she asks as I hear her turn over onto her back on the bed.

"I will have to look before I can answer that question, my dear." I say as I turn back to the bed. She has moved into a sitting position with the quilt pulled up and tucked beneath her arms leaving her bare shoulders exposed to me. How am I going to be able to get close enough to examine her forehead without being tempted to pull her into my arms? Not getting anywhere thinking like this I push this thought from my mind and lean forward to examine the stitched cut once more. It has healed nicely. "I believe the stitches can be removed now." I say as I gently probe at the cut. After getting the items I need to numb the area and remove the stitches I sit down on the edge of the bed and cautiously lean forward but just enough to perform the task of removing her stitches. As I begin to remove the stitches she watches my face intensely.

"Are you nervous Erik?" she asks as I try to focus my attention on what I am doing but finding it very hard to concentrate. Her face is so close, I can think of nothing but her lips on mine. It would be so easy to lean forward just a little further and kiss her sweet lips once more.

"Of course not, my dear," I say wondering if she has any idea what I am thinking about at this very moment. If I were to kiss her and if she were to place her arms around my neck to return that kiss the quilt would surely fall away from her... that would present an innocent enough opportunity to catch a glimpse of her naked form one last time. But if I was to do that and she did not hurry to cover herself then what would I be tempted to do? Reach out and caress her exposed flesh? I am sure it would feel just as soft as her back does beneath my fingers. Would I be able to stop at just a look... at just a touch? I must not think of such things! I must be professional! She trusts me to care for her injuries not to maul her like some animal! What is wrong with me? Where is my willpower when I need it? I must focus on her stitches and nothing more! What are you doing to me, Marie?

"I was not aware that I was doing anything, Erik," she says slyly, smiling at the shocked look that just appeared on my face. I had not realized I said that out loud... I hope that is all I spoke aloud!

"Maybe it would be best if you got dressed before I finish removing your stitches," I suggest as I quickly rise from the bed and cross the room, needing to distance myself from her.

"I do not bite, Erik," she says with a laugh. "What has gotten into you? You are acting like you have never been this close to me and we both know that you have been much closer before."

"That was under much different circumstances." I point out rather sternly. "You was unconscious and hurt... hardly a temptation." Did I just say that aloud? What is wrong with me today?

"Erik, would you please come over here? I would much rather speak to your face than to your back." She says softly.

Does she realize what she is asking me to do? I have got to be a very bright shade of red from embarrassment and really do not wish for her to see this. Having no choice but to do as she asks I turn around slowly. "I do apologize, my dear," I say as I avoid looking directly at her.

"I trust you, Erik," she says sincerely as she reaches a hand out to me. Taking my hand in hers she pulls me towards the bed leaving me no choice but to sit where I had been a few moments before.

"I do not trust myself," I say reluctantly. "After the feelings I discovered earlier I am finding it very hard to be so close to you and not pull you into my arms to experience those feelings again. And I know that I must not while you are in such a state of undress... it would not be proper."

Without a word she leans forward and places her arms around my neck as she pulls my lips to hers in a wonderful kiss. Had I not been thinking about this same thing only a few moments earlier? Oh, she feels so good as I wrap my arms around her and feel her bare skin beneath my fingers as I gently caress her back. As we reluctantly end the kiss I take care not to look anywhere but in her beautiful blue eyes refusing to allow myself to see if my theory about the quilt had been correct or not.

"Please get dressed so I can finish removing your stitches," I say softly as I turn away from the bed before my self-restraint abandons me.

"Alright, since my being like this distracts you so I will get dressed." She says with a sweet smile.

"I will be waiting outside." I say as I leave the room and close the door behind me.

Resting my back against the wall opposite her door I realize that I am trembling. I can still feel her lips on mine and her bare back beneath my fingers. She had kissed me... several times! Oh, how wonderful her lips felt pressed against mine. I have never felt anything as glorious as the feelings she has introduced me to today. How could this woman allow her sweet lips to touch mine? The soft flesh of her back had felt so wonderful under my gentle caress. But why had she done that? She knew that I did not trust myself being so close to her yet she deliberately placed me in such an awkward position with that kiss.

"It is safe to come back in now, Erik," she calls, quickly distracting me from my thoughts.

"I will be right in," I call as I try to regain my composure before entering the room. As I open the door slowly I see that she is sitting on the edge of the bed wearing the pink dress she had on earlier.

"Is this better?" she asks indicating the dress she is now wearing.

"Yes, much better. Thank you." I reply as I walk to the dresser and retrieve my tools so I can finish removing her stitches. No longer distracted by thoughts of her naked beneath the quilt I make short work of removing the stitches. There is a small scar but I am sure that it will fade with time. "All finished," I say as I straighten myself up to my full height and return my equipment to the tray.

"Thank you," she says as she touches her forehead tentatively feeling the puckered skin. "There is a scar, correct?" she asks as she lowers her hand.

"Yes, there is a small scar but it will fade with time." I say reassuringly as I brush her hair aside and run my thumb along it lightly. Unable to help myself I lean down and gently press my lips to the scared skin careful not to hurt her in the process. As I lean away from her she turns her face up towards mine and smiles at me brightly. "Are you hungry?" I ask, suddenly feeling nervous with her looking at me like that. Why had I kissed her forehead just now?

"No, I'm not hungry for food just yet," she says as she moves from the bed and stands in front of me. The look in her eyes speaks volumes and I find that I am slowly learning this new silent language. Unable to resist any longer I pull her into my arms and kiss her softly. She has other ideas though and wraps her arms around my neck pulling my lips closer as she deepens the kiss. I reluctantly end the kiss needing to regain my senses and my ability to breath.

After catching my breath I say, "Marie, I think that we need to talk."

"What is this about?" she asks as she eases out of my arms and looks up at me curiously.

"Come, let us go to the study and I will tell you," I say as I take her hand in mine and lead her from the room.

"You look concerned, Erik. What is bothering you?" she asks as we settle down on the couch.

"Everything that has happened today has confused me greatly." I admit after a moment.

"These things have also confused me, Erik, but, I do not regret them nor do I wish to forget about them." She says softly as she snuggles closer to my side.

"Nor do I." I say quickly, placing my arm around her shoulders. "But, I feel that we should discuss these things and see if we can help each other sort out these confusing feelings." I add reluctantly, not sure why I suddenly feel the need to share my feelings with her. How can she possibly help me understand these things? I am much older than she is and I do not understand them... how could she? Do I really want to tell her how I feel about her? Will she not laugh at me or find it insulting that I feel these things for her? Why did I say anything in the first place?

"That is a grand idea, Erik," she says as she smiles up at me. "But how should we go about it?"

"I am not sure," I say as I wonder the same thing. "Perhaps if we take turns asking each other some questions that have been bothering us it will help." I suggest as I recall all the things that I would like answered.

"Alright," she agrees as she eases away from me slightly to afford her a better look at my face. "Shall I go first?"

"If you wish," I say hesitantly, bracing myself for the humiliation I am sure I will be feeling soon.

"Erik, why did you save Charles and me?" she asks as a sincere look appears on her face.

"If there is one thing that I cannot stand it is watching a woman being beaten. I saved you because it was the right thing to do. That is also why I brought the two of you here. I knew that you could not survive up there on a night like that... even if you were conscious... I have never harmed a woman or a child nor will I ever." I say truthfully as I look her square in the eye.

"I know that you would never hurt us, Erik," she says with a reassuring smile. "Your turn."

"Why are you not afraid of me or my face even though you are aware of what I have done in the past?" I ask with a serious look on my face as I turn to look at her more directly.

"I do not fear you because you have never given me cause to." She answers simply. Seeing that I want a more detailed explanation she goes on to say, "You saved my life and the life of my brother. You have shown us nothing but kindness. Your face does not bother me because it is not the face that makes the man but what is in his heart and soul. You have a beautiful soul, Erik... I just wish you could see that."

Her response shocks me. She thinks that I have a beautiful soul? How can the soul of a murderer be beautiful? However, I restrain myself from asking this question... at least for the moment. "Alright," I say instead, "it is your turn to ask a question."

"What was going through your mind that first night you dressed my wounds?" she asks with a sly look.

"I would rather not answer that question, my dear," I say as I look away from her quickly hoping to hide the surge of color that has just engulfed my face.

"Erik, the object of this is to try to better understand what is happening between us. If you refuse to answer my question then you are defeating the purpose of this whole thing. Now, please answer the question." She says firmly.

"First and foremost I was concerned for your welfare. It was only after your injuries were cared for that I allowed myself to appreciate your beauty." I say reluctantly still not able to look her in the eye.

"You find me beautiful?" she questions as if she is surprised that anyone would think such a thing of her.

"Yes, I do," I admit softly. "But it is my turn to ask the question." I remind her. "How can you find the soul of a murderer beautiful?" I ask, no longer able to resist asking that question.

"The murders you committed were the result of circumstances that were beyond your control. You committed them to either protect yourself or someone else. You make beautiful music, your voice is magnificent, your strength and courage is amazing, your touch is so gentle... There is much beauty in your soul. I truly wish that you could see things the way I do." she says sincerely and I realize that she truly believes all those things that she has just said.

"I do not know what to say to such an adamant statement." I say as a tear threatens to spill forth. "It is your turn."

"Before the opera, I was speaking of why I would never have a husband and you said, 'These things you speak of will not matter to him as they do not matter to myself.' Why did you think that you had insulted me?" she asks as she places her hand in mine.

I am beginning to regret the fact that I am the one who started this. I can see by the set of her jaw that she will not allow me to avoid answering these questions. Taking a deep breath I reply, "I thought that you would be insulted by that comment because I was afraid that you would think that only an old, deformed monster could possible love you with no money and a small brother. I was not thinking when I said that... I had not even realized that I did until you stopped crying and just looked at me. That is when I realized what I had implied."

"You did not insult me. As I told you before, I thought it was a very sweet thing for you to say. And you are not an old, deformed monster." She adds firmly.

"Why did you not find it an insult?" I ask, still unable to believe that she was not insulted by such a remark.

"Is that your next question?" she asks. After I nod my accent she begins. "You were trying to reassure me that there was someone out there who was capable of looking beyond those things and truly care for me. Your subconscious took it upon itself to use you as an example. That was when I first realized that you cared for me... even though I don't think you had really realized that yourself yet."

"Your turn." I say as I avoid her steady gaze. I had realized then that I cared for her but I had not wanted her to know this. I had thought that she would find that even more insulting.

"Why do you find it so hard to believe that anyone could care for you?" she asks still holding tightly to my hand as though she is afraid that I will bolt from the room if she were to relax her grip.

Thinking on this for a few moments I decide to tell her exactly why I find it hard to believe such a thing. "My whole life I have never been treated as anything but a monster or an animal. Because of my face I have been shunned by everyone... including my own mother. I had allowed myself to believe that there was one person who did not care about what was hidden behind my mask but when he ordered me to remove my mask to please his daughter I realized that I had been wrong... there was no one who truly cared. I had thought Christine might be capable of caring for me but when she seen my face and screamed I knew that I had been wrong about that as well. At that point I had not been thinking very clearly and had forced her to choose between her young lover, Raoul, and me. She knew that if she chose him he would die but if she chose me he would be allowed to go free. She made her choice to stay with me, but by choosing to kiss me I allowed her to leave with Raoul, realizing that what I had forced her to do was wrong even though I had felt love in that kiss. The way that I have been treated all my life makes it difficult for me to believe that anyone could possibly care for me for who I am and what I look like. You are the only one who has not shown me any fear or disgust." I conclude as I slump back against the couch in a state of exhaustion.

"Oh, Erik, you must be able to see that I really do care for you for who you are. What you look like does not bother me the less bit. It never has..." she trails off as though she thinks she has said more than she should have.

After a few minutes of reflection I decide that now is the time to ask her one of the things that has been bothering me the most. "My turn," I say as I turn to look at her once again. "When you were telling me to follow my heart you said that that is what led you to me. How could your heart have led you to me when I am the one who found you and brought you down here? I do not see how you heart could have had anything to do with that."

Removing her hand from mine, a strange look comes to her face and she hesitates for a few moments before she says, "Erik, I am afraid that if I answer that question you are going to think that I am crazy."

"I swear that I will think no such thing of you." I say sternly as I take her hand in mine once more and give it a gentle squeeze.

Nodding silently she takes a deep breath before she begins. "Ever since I was a small child I have had the ability to see things in my dreams that eventually happen in my life. Before my mother announced that she was pregnant I knew that I would soon have a baby brother. I knew a month prior to my parents' deaths what was going to happen but they refused to believe me and after a few weeks I pushed it from my mind. The night before I was cornered in that alley I dreamt of what would happen but what drew me to that alley even though I knew I would be badly beaten was that my dream had also shown me that I would be saved by the man who had appeared in so many of my dreams."

"You mean you have dreamt of me?" I cannot help but ask, finding this whole story quite remarkable.

"Yes, Erik," she says as she gives my hand a gentle squeeze. "Ever since I was a little girl I have dreamt of you. I was never frightened by these dreams for they were always very comforting. At first I would dream of you in a black swirling cloak wearing a white mask. You would always look so sad but your eyes would light up when you saw me. In my dreams you would hold me in your arms and comfort me. I had always loved the feel of being held in your arms and even though it was just a dream it had felt so real. As I got older I was permitted to see your face. It never scared me for I knew that it was only a face. I even dreamt of being down here with my brother when he is older so I know that I belong down here with you. My dreams have also shown me some events that have happened in your life such as the night you returned to your childhood home to discover that your mother had remained there all those years and had died recently. You struggled with the thought that you could finally kiss her without any objections but you knew that she would not wish it and instead left the room without even touching her. It was in that house that you discovered the Paris Opera House was to be built and that you had missed your chance to design it. That was very devastating for you but then you decided that you could still build it. I have also seen you in a great deal of pain as you struggled with the loss of Christine."

"My dear child, how can it be that you know all these things?" I ask as my head spins with the thought of what this could mean. She has retold scenes from my past that she could never possibly know.

"I cannot explain how it is that I have these dreams. All that I know is that when I have a nightmare of something that has not happened in my past it usually means that it will be happening in my future. That is why these dreams I have been having lately have upset me so. I do not wish to lose you so soon after finally finding you." She says as she snuggles close to me.

I place an arm around her shoulders and pull her closer. This girl sitting so close has dreamt of me since she was a small child? These dreams have been a comfort to her? How is it possible? "Please tell me more of these dreams that you have had of me?" I request softly, wishing to hear more of what has transpired between her and I in these dreams. Perhaps these dreams she has had her whole life hold the answers that I have yet been unable to grasp.

"You do not think that I am crazy?" she asks as she gazes up at me with a worried look on her face.

"No, my dear, I do not think that you are crazy." I reply as I place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I do not remember how old I was when I had my first of these dreams but I do remember that it had been storming badly and I was alone in my room. The lightning had frightened me from a sound sleep. I must have been very tired for I fell asleep in a short time even though I was very scared. As I entered sleep I began to dream of a man in a black cloak wearing a white mask. He looked very sad so I walked over to him. He looked down at me and smiled. The storm was still raging outside and he could tell that I was frightened of it. He wrapped his cloak around me and held me close as he hummed to me. As I think of it now it was that song that you had sang to me when I first regained consciousness after the beating. I had never felt safer than I did at that moment. You usually came to me in my dreams when something had frightened me. You would wrap your cloak around me and hum to me until I awoke. I knew you as Erik even then and as I grew older our meetings changed. You allowed me to remove your mask and see your face. It did not scare me and I caressed your cheek. That is why when you came to me that morning without your mask I was not at all frightened by it. Your face was one that I knew quite well and I was tempted to reach out right then and caress your face as I had done so often in my dreams. Before my parents were murdered my dreams of you had begun to change. I no longer needed to be frightened for you to come to me in my dreams. Instead, I began to have dreams of you bringing me down here with you. I dreamt of being held in your arms for reasons other than to comfort me from something that frightened me. I even dreamt of us kissing." As she says this she lowers her eyes and turns a lovely shade of red. After a moment she continues. "I knew when I dreamt of the men beating me and you saving me that if I did not go to that alley I would never get to meet you. I simply could not live with myself if I missed the chance to meet the man that I have been dreaming of my entire life. I followed my heart and it led me to you."

"You mean that you went to that alley that night knowing you would be beaten just so you could meet me?" I ask in disbelief. Why would this young girl go through the beating she did just to meet me? How could she be so sure that I would be there to save her? I have comforted her for her whole life without even knowing it. She truly is like no one I have ever known before. What does this all mean?

"Yes, I did. I have loved you for years, Erik. I knew that you would be there... my dreams have never betrayed me. I knew that I had been waiting my whole life to meet you. I believe that everything that has happened in the past happened to prepare me for when we would actually meet." She says as she leans forward and kisses me softly on the cheek.

"You love me?" I ask in disbelief. Are my ears deceiving me? She has been here for less than a week and she claims to love me? But, I remind myself, she has known me her whole life... through her dreams.

Realizing that she had said that she looks up at me shyly before answering. "Yes, Erik, I do love you. I have loved you for a very long time. I have never felt this way for anyone." With that said she presses her lips to mine, kissing me sweetly. This woman in my arms loves me! Someone actually loves me for who I am! This has got to be a dream... but it is too real to be a dream!

"How is it that you can be in love with someone you have known only through your dreams until just a few days ago?" I question, still finding it hard to believe that she could truly love me.

"I cannot explain it... I just know that I love you. I have never felt so sure about anything before. I cannot image my life without you in it. When you are not with me I long for you to be near. When you hold me in your arms I can think of nothing but staying like that for the rest of my life. I feel so safe and so loved when you hold me. And when you kiss me I feel as though I am floating with the clouds." She finishes as she presses her lips to mine once again.

As I reluctantly end the kiss I gaze down upon her lovely face. As I look into her eyes I see love reflected there. She truly does love me! Deciding to hold nothing back from this young woman who has gone through so much to be with me, I say, "Oh, Marie, I feel the same way when I hold you in my arms and when I kiss your sweet lips. I love you... I have known that for almost as long as I have known you although I questioned such feelings. You see I had loved Christine but my love for here was nothing like the feelings that I have been experiencing since I had first cared for your wounds. At first I tried to tell myself that it was because I had never seen a woman naked before. But I quickly realized that it was something else that caused me to feel these things for you... it was something that I could not put a name to. When you allowed me to hold you in my arms without my mask I first realized that I loved you. I still do not understand how it can be."

Snuggling closer to my side she says, "I am glad that we had this talk and that I told you about the dreams. I have seen so many things here that are familiar to me from my dreams and it has been difficult to act as though I knew nothing of you or this place. That first time I had awoken with you by my side singing to me I had almost called out to you but I had enough sense to know that I was no longer with you just in my dreams but also in reality."

"I am also glad that we had this talk. But you must realize that this is all very new to me and it is going to take me some time to adjust to these new feelings." I say as I place a gentle kiss to the top of her head. I would have to say that Charles has impeccable timing for he has just begun to cry. "I will go see to him," I say as I reluctantly remove my arm from around Marie and get up from the couch. I am somewhat glad for the distraction... I need time to think about all of this. "I shall be back shortly, my dear." I say as I leave the room.

"I shall be waiting," is her reply.