Precious Things by SLynn

Spoilers: Up to 'Nesting Dolls'

Rating: R for violence and disturbing content

Disclaimer: Not mine – well, some are mine, just not the ones you recognize.

Chapter 8: Sessions

Greg didn't go in that night. Sara wouldn't let him and Grissom called specifically to tell him not to. Besides that he and Sara were all set to meet with Dr. Jennings and Dr. Tracey the next day and Greg wanted to at least appear rested. He seriously doubted he'd get any more sleep that night but was pleasantly surprised when he did nod off for a few hours just after Sara left for shift.

At around five that morning Greg went to the lab. He wanted to see how the case was going and maybe catch breakfast before heading over to Dr. Tracey's office. Their meeting was scheduled for ten and he was having serious second thoughts.

Warrick briefly caught him up on the progress of the case.

The only update was that the media had finally caught wind. Had started calling their nut-job the 'rag doll strangler'. So far only one paper had picked up on the similarities between these cases and the Fenton murders, the Sun. The city's official stance was that there was no connection between the Fenton case and these new ones and that there was no connection between the Harris and Haas cases. Unofficially people were worried.

Sara and Greg had a leisurely breakfast before heading to the hospital. Sitting in the waiting room he was nervous. This was feeling increasingly like a bad idea.

At five after ten Greg turned to Sara.

"Okay, let's go."

"What?" she said, surprised he was already on his feet.

"They're busy. We'll come back…"

Greg stopped talking as the door to Dr. Tracey's office opened and she ushered them in.

Instead of sitting behind her desk as she normally did, Dr. Tracey sat down in one of the four chairs she'd obviously set up for this occasion. Dr. Jennings was there as well. She rose to greet them, shaking both their hands, before returning to her seat. The four of them sat facing each other for a moment, Greg next to Sara with the two doctors just opposite.

"Greg," Dr. Jennings started warmly, "thank you for agreeing to this."

"Thank Sara," he said feeling ten times as nervous then he had before.

Dr. Jennings nodded and smiled but she wasn't deterred.

"So let's just cut through all this," she said now, "I know why you stopped your therapy. I know that I kind of sprung the whole drug therapy idea on you."

"Not to mention the fact that you said I wouldn't need it," Greg put in.

"Before Greg," Dr. Jennings added, "that was before."

"I don't see how it's different now."

"Greg," Dr. Jennings started but stopped. She glanced momentarily at Dr. Tracey as if steeling her courage, a move that made her face look years younger, before beginning again. "When you first came to me I did think that. From everything you had told me at the time I thought the depression you'd experienced was triggered largely by the chemotherapy."

"And it was," Greg interrupted again, inadvertently imitating her action by quickly glancing at Sara.

"But that wasn't the first major depression you'd experienced."

Greg looked back at Dr. Jennings and could feel Sara staring at him. She wasn't surprised, just worried. He'd mentioned once before that he'd had an episode or two when he was younger and in college. Greg had just never told her why or how serious they'd been. Dr. Jennings seemed to know.

"We don't have to get into it," she was saying now, feeling the unease that radiated off of him.

"No," Greg said somewhat firmly, "Sara and I have… no…. we can talk about it."

"Okay," Dr. Jennings started again, "During our last few sessions you'd told me about your previous bouts with depression. Admittedly, much of this is my fault. I relied heavily off of others observations of you without delving further into your history myself. It was after you'd told me about these other times that I realized just how long this had been happening and it was only then that I thought we should reevaluate the use of medication. I'm sorry, I made a mistake. If I had known about these previous experiences I would have never taken you off of the medication in the first place."

"I don't need that kind of help. None of the times we talked about were that serious. Nothing like when I was on chemotherapy."

"The drugs you were taking to fight off the cancer did amplify those feelings," Dr. Tracey confirmed, "It's one of the more unfortunate side effects."

"See," Greg said with a smile.

"Greg, they were serious," Dr. Jennings said firmly. "Depression is always serious."

"I was a kid," Greg argued, "I was moody. Who wasn't?"

Sara watched the exchange uneasily. She remembered Greg mentioning that he'd been depressed before in college. He'd made it sound as if it wasn't that serious but Dr. Jennings certainly thought differently.

"You left school for three months."

"I was going through some things," Greg offered as an excuse, but it sounded weak.

"And now?" Dr. Jennings asked and he knew he was stuck.

"I'm not depressed."

"Greg," she said calmly, waiting for him to continue.

"I shouldn't be."

Sara reached over and took his hand. Greg was no longer looking at anyone, partially defeated.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for this," Dr. Jennings said after a minute or more of silence. "It's what Sara, Dr. Tracey, and I have all been trying to tell you. This isn't your fault. These depressions are going to happen."

"So drugs are going to help that?" he asked and for the first time didn't sound like he wasn't flat out rejecting the idea.

"They can," Dr. Tracey supplied, "It's just a matter of finding the right ones."

"Okay," Greg started, "so I start taking these pills daily for the rest of my life. Great. Do you have an unemployment pill? Because that's what's going to happen when work finds out."

"I seriously doubt Dr. Grissom would fire you," Dr. Tracey said with an easy shake of her head.

"I'm not worried about Griss," Greg continued, "I'm worried about Ecklie."

"Your boss has told you that you can not take medication?" Dr. Jennings asked, leaning forward as she did so.

"It's policy or something," Greg confirmed and Sara nodded. "They'd take me out of the field."

Dr. Jennings was shaking her head now, looking angry even.

"Is that your real hang up with this? If that wasn't an issue, would you take the medication?" she asked now, completely serious.

Greg looked once more at Sara. He could tell what she wanted. That she wanted him to at least give it a chance but would support him either way. And he was tired, just so tired of feeling this way.

"I'd try it," Greg said equally as serious.

"Then you let me handle your boss."


Later that day Nick waited with Amy outside his own doctor's office.

His doctor, Dr. Neumann, saw him in while Amy waited in the lobby. He took of the sling, assessed his arm and otherwise that was it. Dr. Neumann gave Nick some hand outs with exercises and warning signs of nerve damage but not much more.

It had taken under twenty minutes and for the first time in over two months Nick was able to drive himself home.

"How's it feel?" Amy asked as they arrived at her place.

"Weird," Nick admitted, stretching it out once or twice and flexing his hand. "Like I've grown it back or something."

Amy suppressed a laugh as they walked up the single flight of stairs to her second story apartment.

"So," she said scratching Baxter behind the ear before setting down her keys, "We should celebrate. We never made it out to dinner earlier this week. Want to try again?"

"Kind of early for dinner don't you think?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah," she said coming over and wrapping her arms around his waist, "I guess it is."

Nick kissed the top of her head before putting his own arms around her.

"I've missed that," she said with a smile. "Both arms around me."

"Me too."

He pulled her in closer, leaning down and planting a kiss on her lips.

Amy felt her body flush from the contact. She ran her hands up his back as his slipped to her waist.

"Mmm…wait," she murmured before moving away slightly.

"What sweetie," he whispered her in ear keeping her close with one hand while running the other through her hair.

"We need to talk," she said with as much force as she could mange. It was hard to concentrate as Nick was now trailing kisses down her neck.

His mouth met hers again and she was completely lost.

"Later," Nick said in between kisses with a smile. Gently walking her back towards the bedroom.

Amy made no further objections. It could wait.


The session hadn't been as bad as Greg had feared. In fact Dr. Tracey even had good news for him. She'd rushed the lab on his test results and he was relieved to find that they were still clear. The cancer was not back. The anemia was just likely a side effect of his being so run down and exhausted and would likely be fine as long as he continued to rest and take his vitamins.

Not wanting to go home just yet, they went instead to the coffee shop around the corner. After ordering and finding a table there was an awkward silence.

"I know you're dying to ask," Greg began after taking a few sips of his drink, "so just ask. Anything. I owe you a lot of answers."

Sara nodded looking down into her own cup.

"Well?" he asked but not unkindly.

"Why didn't you tell me how serious it was before?"

"The other times?" Greg asked to which she nodded.

He seemed to be contemplating it, really preparing his answer.

"I guess I just didn't think they were," he began again leaning back in his chair, "I thought that was normal. Hell, everyone in my graduating class had freaked out once or twice."

"But you left for three months."

"I almost didn't go back," Greg admitted with almost a laugh, "It was after it ended with Erika. I was just lucky that I'd done enough summer credits to graduate on time but even then I had to practically double my class load."

"Was the other time about her too?" was Sara's next hesitant question.

Greg nodded.

"Yeah, it was. Although not as bad. After I found out she was married. I kind of just pulled into myself. I think my roommate thought I was going to climb a tower or something. Ratted me out to the RA."

Greg suddenly couldn't look at her. He was still embarrassed about the whole affair. Still worried what Sara really thought of it and him. He really hadn't known Erika was married when they first got involved but once he did he didn't stop it. Couldn't. He thought he was in love then and that he needed her. He'd been wrong.

"Was that it? Were there any other times?"

Greg gave it another thoughtful minute.

"Probably," he said with another nod of his head, "I'm not sure. Only time I can say for certain was after the explosion."

It was Sara's turn to nod; she remembered it but would have never guessed he'd been depressed. Of course then it wasn't like she'd of noticed.

"Do you think it's going to help?" he asked her now.

"They think it will," Sara answered.

Greg finished the last of his coffee and said nothing more.

"So do you want me to go in with you when you tell Grissom?" Sara asked after finishing her own cup.

"Nah," Grew said easily, "I'll do it. Hopefully I get a chance to talk to him before Ecklie does. I don't want this to be an ambush."

"Don't worry," Sara assured, "it'll be fine."

They both stood up and made their way towards the door. Greg was glad to have her. Relieved Sara was so supportive, so understanding. He still wasn't sure about taking the medication. Wasn't sure what Dr. Jennings could possibly say to Ecklie to make him change his mind. But what Greg did know was that he needed a change. He couldn't keep going on like this.