Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.

"The memory should be specially taxed in youth, since it is then that it is strongest and most tenacious. But in choosing the things that should be committed to memory the utmost care and forethought must be exercised; as lessons well learnt in youth are never forgotten."

-Arthur Schopenhauer

"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape."

-John Lancaster Spalding

"The past is never there when you try to go back. It exists, but only in memory. To pretend otherwise is to invite a mess."

-Chris Cobbs

Pulling into the garage around 10:30 that night Rogue rested her head against the steering wheel doubting, not for the first time, her sanity in regards to her chosen courses.


"Professah, may I speak with yah?"

Charles Xavier put down the files he had been reading and gestured for Rogue to have a seat.

"Of course Rogue. What seems to be troubling you?"

"Well, yah know all 'bout how I'm going to a NYU this fall an' how I want to get a major in foreign language education so Ah can help teach…" She trailed off uncertain how to continue.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No! No. It's jus'…you remembah how we talked about tha people that I've absorbed and how they stay with me even afta' time has past?"

Charles frowned in remembrance and nodded. Rogue continued.

"Their knowledge is still in mah head like it's a part of me, I can't block it out like we do the personalities. When I do my history homework I know thing I neva learned, I get knowledge from the psyches in my head an' it feels like I'm abusing my powers…like I'm cheating. I already speak French fluently and I have a grasp on Spanish but I was listening to Kurt the otha' day say his prayers and it wasn't until later that I realized he was praying in German." She paused and took a deep breath now she was finally approaching the reason why she was in the professor's office.

"I still want to go to NYU I still want to specialize in languages so I can teach here but I don't want to waste my time o' yoah money learning stuff that already comes natural to me. I'd like to CLEP out of my basic classes but I wanted to be sure that it isn't really cheating, is it?"

Rogue stopped and watched the professor warily as if she was expecting him to throw her out of his office. She allowed him a grand total of 4 seconds to respond before barreling on.

"…'cause I can't really control it. Ah've tried and tried and I study anyways and I always ignore the psyches during a test I know you're always going on about the code of ethics a telepath must stick ta but does that really count fo' me as I'm not a telepath? And its not as if I walk around telling people 'bout all the information in my head because I don't-"

Rogue's own necessity to breathe kept her from continuing.

The professor smiled at Rogue as if she were a favorite grandchild who had just said or done something particularly amusing.

"If you are quite finished Rogue I think that the fact that this troubles you is testament enough to the fact that you are not abusing the side effects of your gift.

To be quite frank Rogue after all the negative consequences of your power any good that can come of it should be savored.

Erik is not going to be sitting for whatever CLEP tests you take. Neither are Ororo, Logan, Mr. Drake nor Mr. Allerdyce. How you do on those tests and later on in college is entirely up to you."

Rogue looked like a huge burden had been lifted off of her shoulders. She shot the Professor a dazzling smile.

"Thank ya so much Professah yar always great help!"

Xavier smiled indulgently as he watched Rogue veritably dance out of his office. He shook his head in affectionate confusion. Even if he could read their minds he would never understand females, this was especially true for teenage females.


Rogue had successfully CLEPed out of French, 9 hours of German, 3 hours of Spanish and 3 hours of Japanese of which she had had an inexplicable urge to take. She had also tested out of almost half her general education credits giving her almost enough credits to count as a junior.

A 16 credit hour course load with lab, danger room sessions, training to be an X-Man and substitute teaching at the Institute pretty much guaranteed that Rogue had no social life.

But that wasn't the problem tonight. No the problem tonight was going to be studying for her classes in between making sure the heathens of the Institute didn't blow it up while everyone else slept.

BAMF

The scent of Brimstone filled the car as Rogue tiredly shifted her head so that she could see the blue man sitting next to her.

"Hiya Kurt."

"Guten abend, Fraeulein." Kurt cocked his head as he took in her slumped posture.

"You know vat dey say Rogue, eef you can't do ze time don't commit ze crime."

"Yeah, yeah ain't you jus' a regular ball o' sympathy." Kurt smiled and decided to take pity on Rogue.

"Tell you vat, you vatch ze children until one-thirty und I vill vatch them un'til it iz time to train. How doz dat sound, hmm?"

"Like you're my guardian angel. Kurt I take back everything I eva said 'bout you not being a nice guy. Yah're my hero." Rogue stopped and considered her current position in her car and the vast distance between said car and the kitchen.

"Kurt,"

"Was?"

"You'd be an even betta' hero if you'd 'port us on up to tha kitchen."

Kurt placed one hand on Rogue, the other on her satchel and concentrated on the kitchen.

Rogue sat on the island relieved that she hadn't had to walk. Kurt on the other hand was not so delighted. He had underestimated the weight of Rogue's bag and had consequently dropped the heavy bag on his foot.

"Ach, mein Fuß!"

"Whoops, sorry Kurt, I forgot to warn yah."

"Zese are not books, zese are book-shaped rocks! How do you carry dem all day?"

"Ya get used to it. And stop whining. Logan's made you carry heavier things."

Kurt grinned at Rogue showing off his fanged teeth.

"So what was fo' suppa?"

"There's some salmon and baked potatoes. Or if you prefer there is also some macaroni and cheese with hot dogs." Rogue shot Kurt a withering glare and served herself a massive portion of the fish. 'I would really prefer some catfish but beggars can't be choosers.'

"Rogue! Rogue! Kitty phased Billy halfway through a wall and left him there! Miss Munroe said to come to you."

Rogue sighed. Billy was Jaime's rubber tarantula that he liked to scare the girls with.

"Well Jaime, what were ya doin' with Billy that Kitty put him through a wall fer?"

Jaime shrugged and flushed slightly. "I was only fooling; I just put Billy in her bed. He gets lonely when there aren't other people around." An angelic smile did little to sway Rogue. She knew very well that Jamie Madrox could be a little hellion when he wanted to be.

"Awlright Jamie, lead tha way. Let's go rescue Billy."

Kurt smiled as he watched Rogue trudge off after the ever hyper Jamie Maddox. He walked over to where Rogue had been preparing her plate and finished adding all the heaping portions before putting it into the microwave.


Later that night after Rogue had eaten some and refueled she sat with Jones reading through the days notes while listen to him channel surf. Whenever she couldn't sleep she always tried to keep him some company while he watched TV.

She had been pleasantly surprised to find that the night had turned out to be a quiet one. The minor altercation between Kitty Pride and Jamie Madrox was really the only problem. Rogue supposed this had to do with the fear that the kids still harbored toward Logan. No one wanted to get on his bad side ever and they all knew that one of the quickest ways to get there would be to give her a hard time.

One-thirty came and went. Kurt stumbled downstairs with his hair defying gravity.

"Okay fraeulein, eet iz my turn to vatch ze children. Go to sleep und I vill see you at practice."

Rogue yawned and threw Kurt a grateful sleepy smile.

"Thanks Kurt."


"...sorry Momma..."

"…'kay...try again Rogue..."

"…'nother mission?"

"Destiny."

"We'll need to bring her back..."

"...no memory. Useless."

"...machine...work...her..."

"...my daughter..."

"...for the cause."


Magnetos voice echoed in the recesses of Rogue's mind as she woke up.

She knew all of the people in the two dreams. The first had been a voice that she was very familiar with-her own. The second was harder to place. Slightly more androgynous, more robotic.

Mystique? Perhaps.

In the second part the cultured tones of Erik Lehnsherr were easily identified along with the same voice from before. Rogue was almost sure that she was Mystique. Now this presented an entirely new dilemma for Rogue; aside from the altercation on the BlackBird Rogue had never had a one and one conversation with the shape shifter. So where then-

'Rogue your presence is required in the Danger Room for morning exercises.'

Charles Xavier's mental voice shook her from her musings.

A glance at the clock revealed that the time was 6:15 am. She had overslept!

"Fuck!"

Rogue flew around her room a whirlwind of chaos as she suited up in her customary work out outfit. Black pants and a long-sleeved shirt.

In the elevator on the way down to the lower levels Rogue was still getting ready pulling on gloves tying her shoes and pulling her hair back.

She entered the gym slightly winded and winced as she became aware of everyone staring at her, even Bobby and Piotr. Although Rogue was most certainly not a morning person she was never late for practice. Being an X-Man meant too much to her.

"Ah am so sorry ya'll. Ah fohgot ta set mah alarm last night."

"It's all right Rogue, it's happened to all of us at least once. Just don't let it happen twice."

Rogue smiled and nodded at Storm as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she was just grateful that she wasn't going to be in trouble two days in a row.

"Now as I've already informed the others, we are going to have a tournament style session today. The first round will be as follows: Cyclops versus Iceman, Beast versus Wolverine, Rogue versus Colossus and Nightcrawler versus me. The winners of the first round will advance to the next round until there is a final winner. We are fighting until our opponent is knocked out or they yield." Storm leveled Logan with a glare, "Do not cause any major damage to your opponent—we have to teach today. Powers will, of course, be allowed" An uneasy glance at Rogue so quick Rogue barely caught it. "I trust your discretion in their use."

The group entered the danger room together and found the simulation already in play.

A nondescript alley filled with dumpsters, shipping crates and plenty places to hide took the place of the steel walls. It was an alley that could have been found in any major city in the world.

This was just as much of an exercise in stealth as it was a test of combat skills. Each mutant would be placed in strategic corners opposite each other and depending on the discipline of the mutant there would either be a free-for-all brawl or a game of hide-and knock-out-your-opponent-from-behind.

Scott and Bobby got into their positions while the others who would not yet be competing adjourned to the Observation Deck. Rogue tensed as she watch the alley she knew that both men preferred offense but she also knew that Cyclops had years of experience and training on Iceman. Unless something drastic happened there would be no contest.

A thin beam of red light signaled the start of the fight. Cyclops blasted Iceman out of his hiding spot. A trail of freezing water vapor froze the damp pavement under Cyclops who, caught off guard, slipped.

Rogue was vaguely impressed. Bobby had been practicing quicker freezes and evidently the practice was paying off.

Iceman quickly started to freeze Cyclops' body to the ice but was prevented from doing so by another concussive blast courtesy of Scott's eye beams.

Iceman valiantly tried to stand only to be knocked down by an empty shipping pallet that Cyclops brought down over his head. Although dazed Iceman was smart enough to yield before he wouldn't be fit to attend his classes later in the day.

Scott helped Bobby stand and the two limped off to rest and watch the rest of the matches.

Beast and Wolverine took their cues from Storm and got into position.

Unlike the first match there was no clue that the fight had begun. A minute and a half of waiting and Logan appeared to tire. Prowling in the shadows he started to sniff out Beast's position.

The sound of cracking lumber caught the attention of the audience. Seconds later Wolverine was thrown out into clear view. He stood up and growled before charging back into the shadows. More crashing sounds were heard when—

'Rogue may I speak to you in my office, now?' Only Rogue's self-control kept her from jumping out of her skin. She sighed slightly, although phrased as a question it was unmistakably an order and Charles Xavier was not a man to disobey.

'Of course Professor. I'll be up jus' as soon as I tell 'Ro.'

'I have already informed Ororo of my desire to see you.'

Rogue glanced at Storm and was surprised to find her staring back. Storm jerked her head to the door and nodded.

Rogue took her cue to exit and left even as Logan was being pronounced victor.


When she reached the professor's office she debated on whether or not she should knock on the door. Not knocking was impolite, but it wasn't as if the professor didn't already know she was coming. In fact he probably knew she was standing outside his door looking like a fool with her had outstretched to knock.

'Come in Rogue.'

Charles watched as Rogue entered his office looking mildly sheepish, he gestured for her to have a seat.

"Rogue, this morning when I spoke to you telepathically I sensed great anxiety and confusion. Is there anything troubling you that I could help you with?"

Rogue sat frozen in the chair clutching the arms contemplating her options. She had never had cause to doubt the Professor's sincerity, no just the opposite really as all of Magneto's memories attested to Charles' general trustworthiness. Still, a voice in the back of her head was screaming at her not to trust him.

What should she tell him? Which instinct was the right one to listen to? Should she lie or tell the truth?

She decided to compromise "I just had a strange dream Professah, there's nothin' ta be worried 'bout."

Although his face remained impassive Rogue was left with the distinct feeling that she had disappointed him.

"Well that brings me to my next concern, why I had to give you a wake-up call, so-to-speak, to begin with. Since being added to the team you've never been late to a practice session. In fact according to Logan, Scott, and Ororo you're usually there before the rest of them. I am worried that you may be pushing yourself too much between your schooling and Danger Room sessions, perhaps—"

"I just forgot to set my alarm this morning, professor. I had a late night last night."

Charles smiled despite himself. Officially, he had heard about Rogue's escapades with Kurt yesterday when they failed to show for the debriefing. Unofficially they had loudly been projecting their plans right before they made their escape.

Bolstered by the Professor's renewed good spirits Rogue stood up trying to get out of his office as quickly as possible so she could analyze her dreams. "If that's all Professor, I have class today and I still have plenty of things to do…"

"Yes Rogue, that is all I wanted to discuss with you right now. Please remember that I am always available if you have need of me or simply wish for someone to talk to."

"Thank ya Professah."

As Rogue practically flew from his office Charles Xavier felt his smile melt away into a deep set worried frown.

Ever since the events that had taken place at Alkali Lake he had noticed that Rogue was projecting her thoughts and emotions less and less, even when he tried to scan the surface of her thoughts there was less and less readily available to gentle probing. More powerful scanning would reveal her thoughts easily but Rogue's growing resistance to telepaths troubled the professor greatly.

Charles sighed. There was little that he could do for Rogue if she did not wish for his help all he could do would be to wait until Rogue had come to terms with whatever was troubling her or sought his council, whichever came first.

Re-entering the Observation Deck Rogue looked down at the rest of the X-Men surveying their progress. She wasn't too surprised to find the room empty, she had been in the professor's office longer than she had anticipated. Rogue settled for some early morning stretching and a quick half-hour session in the gym. Her meeting with Xavier had robbed her of her strength and motivation.

What she really wanted to do was to march back upstairs and spill her guts all over the professor's priceless antique desk but all her instincts were screaming at her not to trust him.

Rogue always listened to her instincts above all else, they had gotten her to Canada and let her know that she could trust the Wolverine when she saw him in that bar in Laughlin; so if they told her to not even think about her dreams she would listen.

Next Posting Date: Sunday, February 13th, 2005