Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.

"Perhaps even these things, one day, will be pleasing to remember."

-Virgil

"A man's memory is bound to be a distortion of his past in accordance with his present interests, and the most faithful autobiography is likely to mirror less what a man was than what he has become.

-Fawn M. Brodie

"Your memory is a monster; you forget-it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you-and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!"

-John Irving


After her workout Rogue made her escape from the Institute. Thankfully her attempts to avoid the occupants of the school were more successful today then yesterday—perhaps in part because no one was looking for her today.

She drove around the city aimlessly for a couple of hours a bit disconcerted that skipping school had come so naturally to her.

Stopping in at a pizzeria Rogue ate her healthy brunch, which consisted of a slice of pizza, a calzone and a large sweet tea.

At Washington Square Park Rogue sat at the arch and watched all the comings and goings sometimes recognizing some of the passersby as classmates.


"Why have you failed to complete your mission?"

"Ah didn't fail. I retrieved all the Intel that I was dahrected ta retrieve."

"The subject is still alive."

"Momma, tha man is in a coma that he's likely neva to wake up from, what mo' d'ya want?"

"There is still a chance!"


"...Rogue? Rogue!" An urgent voice shook Rogue from her clearest vision yet. She looked up confused and frustrated and was startled to find herself staring at a vaguely familiar face.

"Hey, welcome back to Earth. I've been cawling you forevuh, why weren't youse in class?"

As Rogue freed herself from the clutches of the fog that had captivated her mind she recognized that girl in front of her as one who shared many classes with her.

"Christina! Er…What are ya doin' here, shouldn't ya be in class?"

"I swear its like talking to a wall sometimes," Christina murmured to herself before continuing in a louder voice. "Class is over. You missed it. Have you been sitting here awl day?"

"Nah, I was jus' thinking. Ah didn't really feel lahke goin' ta class today so I wandered around fo' a bit. I've only been in tha park fer," Rogue glanced at her watch "four hours!"

She grinned weakly at Christina. "I'm shocked Ah wasn't mugged."

"If you were you wouldn't 'ave noticed."

"What was that?"

"Nothing mi'ja , listen because I'm such a good friend and all I'ma let 'chu borrow my notes and the lecture tapes. You didn't miss much but both Mendoza and Sampson hinted at pop quizzes for next class, you listen to the tapes and copy the notes and then bring 'em back down here on Thursday." The Puerto Rican girl paused for a moment before continuing on like Rogue had answered her.

"Keeping in trend wit this good friend theme it is my job to let youse know that it's getting dark and you know that neither of us want to stay in the park after dark, no?"

Rogue sighed as she got on her feet, wincing when she felt the familiar tingle of pins and needles that told her she had in fact been sitting for four hours.

"Good, now here take this. Don't forget to bring them back on Thursday or I'll head on up to Westchesta and find you myself."

With that she dumped her notebooks and her recorder with its' tapes in Rogue's arms.

"Vamanos mujer. I saw a hot dowg stand with our names on it.."


Once again alone Rogue drove in her car back to the Institute. Glad that rush hour was long over and the Saw Mill Parkway desolate Rogue thought about her little day-mare.

She found it hard to believe that the entire memory had taken three and a half hours to play out.

BEEEEEP!

"Oh, shit!" Rogue jerked the steering wheel sharply to the left barely missing the car on her right.

"That's it I'm pullin' ova. I'm not killing myself tonight."

She signaled and turned into the first exit she saw. The car idled in a McDonalds' parking lot as Rogue tried to process all her information.

'All these dreams and flashback started after I absorbed that mutant, Mesmero. OK so what do I know about this guy? Well no shit, thanks to my 'gift' a whole hell of a lot. Everything from his shoe size to the fact that he prefers to wear his equipment on the right side...and let me stop there I'm scaring myself.

He can create strong illusions, hypnotize and posses people. He also has strong shields that protect him from telepaths. So is it his memories that I keep flashing to? No that's not right. Mesmero was only in the first flashback the others, 'cept for the one with Erik, feel like my memories that just don't have a place in my head. Also—'

Du du dududu

'Also the world seems to enjoy interrupting me whenever I get close to the truth!'

Rogue picked up the phone and cut off "Go Mississippi" midway through the chorus.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rogue it's Bobby."

"Oh, hey. What can I do fo' ya?"

Bobby hesitated; he and Rogue were no longer together. They hadn't been since about a week after Jean's death. The decision had been mutual and the break-up amicable but still he wasn't quite comfortable talking to her alone—even if it was on the phone.

"Ororo was asking about you, she wanted to know when you were getting in and whether or not you wanted her to save you some dinner. Logan hasn't started interrogating anyone for your whereabouts yet but it's only a matter of time. He's been growling and sniffing around—more so than usual" Bobby gave an unconvincing laugh he sounded more worried than he was letting on.

"I'm still about 20 minutes from the Institute. You can tell 'Ro thanks but no thanks, I got some food with some friends—that's why I'm running late."

"OK, that's great I'll let her know." The silence between the two seemed to grow more tense and uncomfortable even via the phone. Rogue braced herself; she knew what was coming now—the same thing that had occurred in almost every conversation that had taken place between the two of them after their breakup. "You know Rogue, we may not be together anymore but still…I just want to let you know…"

"I know Bobby, thanks. I'll be back in a little bit. You can tell Mother Hen that I'll be there soon and he can go grab a beer or something."

Bobby laughed again, an easier and more genuine laugh. "I'll pass Rogue, I like my life thank you very much. You know you're that only one who could even come close to getting away with something like that."

"Hmm, ya might be right 'bout that. I'll see ya'll in a bit Bobby."

"Sure thing Rogue."

Sitting in her room later that night Rogue settled herself in for a long evening of notes and lectures that would serve as her penance for skipping all her classes earlier.

'If I'm lucky maybe I'll be up all night with no time to have any of these dreams.'

Four and a half hours later Rogue wasn't counting herself nearly so lucky. If Mendoza and Sampson weren't so anal about what they tested on she would have been asleep hours ago, but because they were Rogue would have no time for sleep tonight as she was now due at the gym extra early today to make up for yesterday.


"Now, his neck is vulnerable! Bring your foot down and snap it!"


The voice Rogue had come to recognize as Mystique's slammed through Rogue's mental barriers with the force of a sledgehammer.

Her body responded to the command even as her mind continued to process it. The android lay beneath her foot its' simulated neck at an unnatural angle. As she continued to stare in horror the image of the broken body flickered and then faded away entirely.

Rogue stepped back and looked up at the Observation Deck in alarm—she hadn't given the order for the program to terminate, had she?

No she hadn't. Assembled in the Observation Deck was the entire senior team of X-Men. Call it woman's intuition but Rogue didn't think this was going to end well at all.

"Rogue," The sound of Ororo Munroe's voice over the intercoms broke the silence in the Danger Room. "we need to talk."

Still drenched with sweat Rogue faced her interrogators looking out of her element in the Professor's office.

"I don't see what I did wrong, Professah, Ah follow'd all the rules jus' like I do any time I use the Danger Room."

"Rogue we are not here today to discuss whether or not you follow the safety protocols of the Danger Room. To be quite frank Rogue, we're—" Scott jumped in cutting off Xavier.

"We're worried about you Rogue, we've all noticed that you haven't been yourself and we just want to do our best to help you with whatever you're going through right now."

Rogue blinked and starred at Scott, it was the most she had heard him say at once in a long time.

"Ah appreciate y'alls concern but there isn't anything wrong with meh. So if that's all I'm gonna go get ready to substitute today."

She turned and made her way to the exit.

"Park it, kid. You're going to siddown and listen to what we have to say. No running off today."

'Course not Logan, you're the professional runner of the Institute.' Rogue beat back her vicious, sarcastic thoughts and sat down gingerly as she turned her attention back to the professor. Based on the look on Xavier's face her had caught her last thought.

'Aw hell.'

"Rogue we were going to have this conversation at a later date but recent events have forced use to accelerate our timetable. If you would be so kind as to wait a moment while—"

BAMF

Kurt ported into the room with Hank at his side. Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust at the scent of brimstone.

"Professor, I got ze tape you requested."

"Thank you Kurt, have a seat you two. Now Rogue everyone here has come to me at least twice in the past week regarding strange behavior on your part. I had Hank and Kurt pull up many of the instances that were caught on camera for your benefit. Storm if you would."

Storm stepped forward and placed the cassette into a TV in the side of the room. Rogue watched with a feeling of both mounting dread and disbelief as she saw herself in the Danger Room not five minutes ago snap the neck of her simulated opponent, two days ago balanced on the broad side of a blade, in a hallway snapping at a younger student who was unfortunate enough to cross her path, starring off into space for periods of time and brooding in the kitchen at unholy hours of the night holding what appeared to be conversations with herself.

She swallowed. What the hell could someone say in their own defense when ambushed with such large quantities of evidence against them? The dread and disbelief quickly snowballed into self-righteous anger. She was being spied on in what was supposed to be her home!

"This isn't all Rogue, printouts of the Danger Room log sheets show that you averaged upwards of 140 hours in the past month alone. I'm worried you're pushing yourself too hard, at the rate you're going you'll burn out before next year. It just isn't—"

"You've been taking advantage of the security systems to spy on me?"

"No Rogue, of course not, you misunderstand our intentions, we were merely concerned with your wellbeing and monitored your behavior closer as a product of that concern."

"And now you expect meh to throw myself at y'all confessing some deep inna turmoil I've been goin' through in silence!" Rogue stood, now thoroughly exasperated, all attempts at a calm façade forgone for the more tempting option of yelling at the professor.

"Guess what yoah little plan backfired on y'all! You can take that tape and shove it up your collective asses for all I care but I sure as hell won't stick around in a place where my every action is dissected for even the most remote hint of mental instability!"

Charles Xavier in all his maddening calm intervened again as the voice of reason. "Rogue where would you go, back to the streets? Back to hitchhiking? No. The Institute is a much safer place for you we can help you develop your gift and—"

"'Develop mah gift'? 'Develop mah gift'! You mean fo' me ta continue developing my gift in the same way it's been 'developing' for the past eight months? Oh wait; there's been no development of my curse at all in the time I've been here. A quick physical by Dr. Grey, a brief mind probe by the great and illustrious Professah Xavier and a pair o' gloves is all I eva got in reference to mah powers. So I've gotta say Professah, if that's the kinda aid ya offer to yoah students it's no wonder why St. John took off when he got the chance."

Rogue quickly took a deep breath and surveyed the damage her words had done. Scott, 'Ro, Kurt and Hank seemed to have been shocked silent as they starred at Rogue, the easy-going, shy southerner they thought they had gotten to know was nowhere to be found. In her place was a person that they didn't recognize.

Charles Xavier looked cowed and perhaps even the least bit guilty. Rogue knew, through Erik's first hand experience that the professor would shortly regain his footing, so to speak, and come up with an appropriate rebuttal. She decided to quit while she was ahead and take her exit while she could.

Rogue immediately met an impasse in the form of the Wolverine.

Logan looked down at Rogue, his eyes uncharacteristically soft. He had had no idea how Rogue felt about the Institute and was now feeling pretty guilty about ambushing her as they had done.

Who really cared if she was acting a little different? She was a teenager wasn't that a carte blanche to act as moody as she pleased? Did it really matter that she was a bit more aggressive in combat—that was good, it'd keep her safe—or that she was clocking more and more hours in the Danger Room? He clocked in about six hours a day. It was necessary if he wanted to avoid killing some of the more annoying adolescents he had come to be responsible for.

Rogue stood in front of Logan and asked him to move. When it became apparent that Logan had no intention of moving she moved to the right to walk around him Logan sprang to life and moved to his left to once again block her path. Distantly some part of his conscious was jeering at him for becoming Scott 'Stick up my ass' Summers but he would deal with that later, right now he had to keep the kid he had grown to care about from running off.

"Logan, move." He thought it was an impressive growl, and as Logan was an excellent judge of such matters, the fact that he was impressed spoke volumes.

"Sorry, kid—"

"I'm not a child, I am a twenty-three year old adultand I expect ta be treated as such. So when Ah ask ya to move, please move."

"You're 23?" Logan started to laugh despite himself. "Darlin' you couldn't be a day over 18 and that's pushing it. Face it you're not going anywhere until you've calmed down some and talked with us. I promised to keep you safe and I'll do it even if it means keeping you safe from yerself."

"Yeah Logan, 'cause you've done such a bang up job o' keeping meh safe in the past. Anyways seeing as how I am of age Ah'm gonna leave. You voyeurs can do whatever ya please but the next time you're lookin' fo' something to get off ta might I recommend a porno rather than spying on your 'kids' and calling it help."

Three steps passed Logan Rogue clutched her head as wave after wave of unrelenting pain washed against the shores of her metal barriers eroding them and inundating her with images, sounds, smells; memories. Four steps and she collapsed crumpling to the floor like a lame animal.


A/N: Well aren't you all lucky I got home and checked on this chapter and found that there were three more pages to it. Sorry again for forgetting my next posting date, let's hope I don't miss another one.

Next Posting Date: Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005. Hopefully. If I remember…

Well aren't you all lucky I got home and checked on this chapter and found that there were three more pages to it. Sorry again for forgetting my next posting date, let's hope I don't miss another one.