Okay, im putting this under Harry Potter rather than Monty Python, cause it's a little more HP than MP
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Monty Python, or Lord of the Rings, even though Lord of the Rings isnt in this story, I just thought I would gripe about that to you... (that's just the sweet kind of guy I am :D ahaha)
Pre-story notes: this takes place the year after OOTP... BUT, I may change a few things, mostly if I forgot some part of HP... so yea... I appologise for when I might offend you for not having entirely correct historical quotes or something...
Chapter 1
Harry was once again at Privet Drive for the summer, his life had been a typical summer for the first few months, he sat awake many nights fearing the inevitable war that was coming. He tossed and turned at night, and he was nervous during the days, until one day as he was taking a walk outside.
"Hello Potter" came a voice with a sneer. as Harry turned around, and saw Lucius Malfoy standing behind him, with the other Death Eaters behind him.
"What are you doing here?" asked Harry, startled.
"What else would we be doing??" asked Lucius with an even bigger sneer, if it was possible to have a bigger sneer
"OH, you got my dry-cleaning!" Harry said with a smile.
"WHAT?" asked Lucius, "oh right, I forgot about that, here you go" as he handed Harry some robes, and then added, "OH right, now I remember, I also wanted to kill you"
"But I thought the prophecy said only Voldemort could kill me" added Harry
"Huh, I never heard the prophecy... don't you remember, it got smashed!" Lucius added to Harry's addition
"Well, anyways, it says that only I can kill Voldemort, and only Voldemort can kill me" said Harry
"Really now????" asked Lucius cautiously
"YUP!" replied Harry, smugly grinning
"Is that ALL it said???" asked Lucius
"It also said that you should give me a hundred galleons?" said Harry
"Oh really, Did it now?"
"Yes, It did!"
"okay, here you go"
"OOO, thanks!"
"So, we need the Dark Lord to kill you huh?"
"Yup" said Harry
"Alrighty then" came a evil hiss from behind Harry
"Hiya Voldy, hows it going?" asked Harry
Voldemort winced at the name, "Im here to kill you"
Suddenly as Voldemort raised his want, and took a step forward, he tripped and fell, and being hardly more than a skeleton, he nearly vaporized when he hit the ground.
"Ahh..." Lucius said
"..." said the rest of the Death Eaters... or rather, didn't say the rest of the Death Eaters, cause I guess you cant really SAY "..."
Then suddenly, the author realized he was adding his own notes into the story, and he continued on.
Just then, Uncle Vernon walked out of the house, and shouted "AHA, I KNEW YOU WERE UP TO SOMETHING!!!"
Uncle Vernon then pulled out a shotgun, and called the police, threatening to shoot anyone who pulled out a wand
The rest of the Death Eaters were arrested by the "muggle" police, and their wands were taken, as Uncle Vernon swore they were weapons.
The rest of the summer passed quickly, after news got out of Voldemort's fall, or rather, his trip (ahaha)
Owls came to Privet drive frequently, mostly from Ron and Hermione, but often from Dumbledore, and other prestigious wizards who were congratulating him on defeating Voldemort.
Later, at the end of the summer, he was released from Privet Drive to go stay with the Weasleys for a while, so he could get his supplies for the next school year. As he walked up to their front door, after Uncle Vernon dropped him off, Ron came out shouting.
"HARRY!!!" Ron shouted, a little over-enthusiastically for Harry, "Wow, how'd you do it? Defeat Voldemort I mean, I mean I know what you said with the owls and all, but..." and Ron continued on very rapidly, and non-stop.
"All that happened was that he tripped" Harry said repeatedly over and over, trying to get Ron to stop talking for a nanosecond.
As it turned out, Ron didn't stop talking till he passed out from lack of oxygen.
Later that week, after Ron and Harry caught up on their summers, they traveled down to Diagon Alley to meet Hermione, and to get their school supplies.
"Hello Hermione!" Harry said, as he saw Hermione waiting for them.
"Harry! Ron!" shouted Hermione, as she ran over to meet them.
"Im so happy!" Hermione said
"Its nice to see you too Hermione!" Ron replied
"Huh?" said Hermione, "No, Im happy because Hagrid WAS going to use the next Monster book of Monsters this year, but one of the books ate the safety supervisor, so he's using the Acme Book of Magical Creatures instead!"
"Well, I am glad we don't have to deal with those vicious books again" Harry replied
"You can say that again!" said Ron
"Well, I am glad we don't have to deal with those vicious books again" Harry replied again
"I didn't mean literally" Ron said
Just then, as they were standing there, the clouds above them parted, and the face of God appeared
"Harry" came the voice of God, because he is so high and mighty, that you cant just say God said, but rather, something more formal, like, "came the voice of God"
Just then the Author remembered he was rambling, and shortly after he realized this, he was struck by lightning from heaven.
"Harry, I want you to go on a quest for me"
"what is it?" asked Harry
"HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" asked God
"Ehh, Im averting my eyes Lord"
"STOP DOING THAT"
"Oh, sorry Lord"
"THAT'S ANOTHER THING, People always groveling, FORGIVE ME this, and IM NOT WORTHY, it makes me sick" (just then, the author got struck by lightning again)
"Oh, okay"
"ANYWHO" said God, "I am charging you with a quest to retrieve the Holy Grail"
"Where is it" asked Harry
"Its within the castle of Hogwarts, you must find it" said God as the clouds closed, and his voice faded away (and the author was struck once more by lightning)
Please Read/Review and feel free to give me ideas, I have a few ideas of things I wanna do, but I would CERTAINLY accept good ideas, or stupid ideas, in a parody, stupid ideas can be better than good ideas... YEA
