A/N: Hope you enjoy this latest installment; sorry I took so long for this update. I have pretty much mapped out the entire story. Just when you think you know what is going to happen, there may still be a twist left

Chapter 11: Finding the Way

"Steven … Steven, can hear me" Kendall cried out to the man in charge of her captivity the last few months.

"What is Kendall?" He asked as he stood on the other side of the door.

"I know he's not here. I know that, I am asking you again. Please, please, let me go. I promise you, that I will not tell anyone about your involvement. If it is money that your want; you know that my sister and my fiancé are the heads of Cambias. You obviously know who my mother is. They will give you what you want. Please just help me." Kendall voiced was filled with desperation. She knew that she needed to find a way out.

Steven could hear the anguish in her voice, but he just stood there listening, "Kendall, I can't! You know that I can't help you."

Kendall sighed and shook her head. She looked toward the door, "What is it that he has over you? It must be something. I know you're not completely heartless. You've shown at least much to me." Steven stood there for a few moments and walked away.

"I've seen the compassion in your eyes; I know there's some good in there." Kendall continued her conversation unaware that he was gone. She tried to get through to him. "Steven, are you there?" There was simply silence. She hated be confined to that room. Most of the time she was by herself, but every now, and then he would come in and talk with her. She never tried to escape at that point. He was always armed and his threats to her family kept her from trying anything. He will tell her that if she tried to escape, those that she loved will pay for her sins.

Over the past months, she had gotten to know Steven. Things between him and Kendall had softened. Her injuries from the initial accident had healed. The doctor that was taking care of her early on was dismissed months ago. She really never saw the doctor after she had healed. It was a person that she was not familiar with. Steven was the only face that she would see, but she knew someone else was running the show. He would often get calls through his cell phone, but she could never figure out who it was that was in charge. She knew she was in the mountains of Pine Valley, that much she was able to get from Steven. It was isolated area. Steven would tell her that if she would ever get out, no on would ever find her. The room she was held in was small and had no windows. It appeared to her to be some cellar or safe room. It was under the main part of the cabin. She had figured out that much, because she could hear a small amount of noise from above. What cabin, in the area of Pine Valley, would have an underground cellar or safe room, she often thought. She also considered the fact that maybe it was built specifically to hold her captive. She had not clue. The monitors were her only link to the outside world. It was the world that he only wanted her to see. She never had control over the content that she would see. They were turned on only to provide her a glimpse into her former life. It was a way to live the pain that Ethan and her family were going through. It was their brand of torture for her.

The most difficult time for Kendall, was when the monitors were focused on the condo. Whenever she would see Ethan, it was a double edge sword. She was happy to see him but it was misery to she him in such anguish over her absence. She hated not being able to be there for him and tell him he was not at fault. Each time she was allowed to see him, she wanted to crawl through the screen and be with him.

It was also, difficult to see her mother. As strong as she was, she always showed the world her Kane strength, but in her private moments Kendall would she the vulnerable side of Erica. The side she would hide from everyone. She was always touched by the times she was allowed to see Erica 'visiting her'. The talks she had with her at her gravesite were emotional but also very revealing. Even though, her relationship with her mother had changed and gotten better prior to her 'death', it was only after her 'death' that she was able to see the mother that she had longed to have.

Ironically, watching these exchanges made her realize how precious life is and the time she spent being angry was simple that – wasted time. She realized that if and when she got out of here, she was not going to waste time. She was going to show her feelings to those that love her.

"I have to get back to all off you." Kendall looked at the monitors, "I will get out of here! I am going to fight to get out of here for all of you. Now I need to know who the hell is behind this." Kendall spoke to herself with determined tone in her voice.


Ethan was in a haze much of the past few months. I was so incomprehensible for him to believe that it had been 6 months to the day that Kendall had died. Bianca had invited Ethan to spend some time with her and Miranda on this of all days. He took comfort from the time he was able to spend with Bianca and Miranda. This was the only joy in his life, but it was also a painful reminder of what he had lost. They were also his only connection to Kendall and he adored Miranda.

"You miss her a lot do you?" Bianca asked Ethan while he was holding Miranda and cooing with her. He simply smiled at her and then his eyes and attention reverted back to Miranda.

"These past few months, I've often thought about what we would have had. Personally, it wouldn't of matter to me, as long as our baby would have been healthy." Ethan heavily sighed, "A baby, God Bianca, image a baby. It still takes my breath away." Ethan walked over and handed Miranda to Bianca.

"You know there are days that I wake up and I can still feel her sleeping next to me. In my dreams she is so alive." Bianca looked at him with empathy and his eyed watered. "Tell me Bianca, how am I ever going to move forward. They say each day is supposed to get easier, but it just gets harder. There are reminders everywhere. I pass a baby store and I think that I should be in there shopping up a storm with Kendall. Why did this have to happen?" He sat down and looked downward as he shook his head.

"I'm not sure what to tell you, but I promise it does get easier." Bianca tried to comfort Ethan by placing her hand over his hand.

"I know the last time you were angry with me that I had drunk myself into oblivion, but to be honest with you that is the only thing that makes me numb to this pain." Bianca looked on with concern as Ethan explained his drinking to her. She had suspected he was drinking heavily and had known that he had been intoxicated several times at the Pine Valley Inn bar. "I don't think I can do this ..."

"Ethan, things will get better" Bianca told him.

"I just can be here anymore." Ethan explained to Bianca.

"If you need to leave, that's fine Ethan" Bianca express to Ethan.

"Not just here Bianca, I think I may leave Pine Valley." Bianca looked at Ethan surprised.

"Why, Ethan. Your family is here."

"What family?" Ethan sarcastically told her

"I know that you just didn't say that." Bianca told Ethan as she held Miranda in her arms.

Ethan stroked Miranda's cheek, "Besides her, there's no one else."

Bianca shook her head, "You not only have Miranda, but you also have Zack You also have me and of course Mom."

Ethan chuckled a bit, "I know I have you and Miranda, Zack and your mom, well let's just say I'm not high on their list. Erica barely acknowledged my relationship with Kendall. It was only after she was gone that she was even cordial to me. So I'm not so sure I can count on either Zack or Erica as parts of my family tree. Its funny Bianca, while I was with Kendall, all I wanted was for Erica to accept me in Kendall's life because I knew that Erica was so important to your sister. Being that source of friction between Kendall and your mother was never where I wanted to be. Now she accepts me, but I wish she would hate me, because if she did it would mean that Kendall would be here today. I would fight Erica everyday if I could have Kendall by my side."

Ethan stood up ready to walk out of Bianca's apartment, "Ethan, I hope reconsider not leaving Pine Valley. I kind of hope Miranda will have her cousin around to help her out."

Ethan smiled at her and Miranda, "I think about it, good-bye Bianca."

"See you soon Ethan." Bianca returned his smile as he nodded at her.


Erica had showed concern for Ethan early on, but she had distanced herself from him the last few weeks. At one point, she had even accused him of being the cause of Kendall's accident. Jackson had mentioned to Erica about the threats against him and blamed him for not protecting her. Early on, many, including Jack, thought the accident was not an accident. That was later dismissed as a theory after the investigation. Jack along with Derek concluded that it was merely some terrible accident.

Even though each of them knew that it was an accident, Erica and Ethan each carried their own guilt about Kendall. While going through some of Kendall things, Ethan had come across an old box. Obviously it was Kendall's and he felt that her family should have it. Well he thought that Erica should have it. He asked her to come over.

That afternoon the skies were gray. A late summer thunder storm started to fill the air as Erica made her way to Kendall's condo. She arrived at the door and paused to look around as the thunder roared around her. It surprised her that she was startled. She had not been to Kendall's place since the time that she and Bianca had tried to pack away her things. She rang the door.

"Hello, Erica." He gave her a hug, butshe slighted him.

"Hello, how are you?" She asked him knowing full well that neither could ever answer that question honestly ever again.

"Doing what I can Erica. The reason I called you was that I was going through some of Kendall's things and I came across something." Erica looked at him puzzled as he walked into the bedroom to retrieve the item. He walked back in with a box in his hand. It had appeared old and worn out. It was a wooden chest.

He handed to Erica, "It was Kendall's and now it belongs to you."

Erica looked at him as she held the box. She went over and sat on the living room couch. She gently put the small chest on the table and she slowly opened it. To her surprise it was filled with things from Kendall's childhood. There were some pictures of her as a child and others of her growing up. As she looked at them, she wondered why she had never asked Kendall for any photos of her as a child. Erica never understood why, but she wished she had.

"I assume you've seen these." Erica held up the photos to Ethan.

"I have" Ethan told Erica as he nodded.

She continued to look through the box and found some clipping of herself. They were old magazine photos. It was obvious to her that Kendall cut them out after she had found out that she was her mother. She continued to look through the box and also found a necklace made of macaroni. It appeared to be something that a child would make in an art class. Erica wondered if she had made it for her adoptive mother. It was very likely she had.

Ethan interrupted her thoughts, "Erica there's something else." Ethan reached into the chest and at the bottom found the letter. "This is for you. She told me that she wrote this before she knew who exactly you were."

She took the letter from Ethan and read part of it,

'… I know you don't know me, but when I find out who you
are, I hope that we can have some sort of relationship. I don't
know why you gave me up, but that doesn't matter. I love you!
One day I hope that you can love me too.

I hope to find you someday and meet you!

Always Your daughter,
Kendall'

"I have never seen this." Erica placed her hand over her mouth staring at the letter.

"We talked a lot about that time in her life. With what I was going through with Zach, she tried to make me understand by paralleling her life to mine. She told me that she wrote that letter the night she accidentally found out she was adopted, before the hate and the resentment. She always knew that she belonged somewhere else. She told me that trying to hate you did nothing for her. She said that having all of you in her life was all she ever dreamed of. – and she got it"

Thunder startled her out of her baffled state of mind. Ethan looked toward the window then back at her.

Erica looked ready to flee the condo because of the storm. "I know that you hate storms." She quickly shot a glance toward Ethan, "she told me."

As the thunder resonated outside, Erica continued to sit there. "What else did she tell you?" Erica looked over at Ethan as he went over to start a fire in the fireplace. She was frightened and Ethan knew she was scared.

Ethan looked over at Erica, as he stoked the fire "She told me about that night of the storm a couple of years ago. That's the day things really changed for the both of you. She was so happy that she was finally able to have some positive impact in your life"

"It was amazing how open she was with you. Kendall was really not one to share her feelings so openly," Erica sighed, "very much like her mother."

Ethan smiled over at her, "Well, she didn't open up to me overnight, it took some time."

"You know looking back I just wish that I would have come around sooner. We were both just so stubborn." Erica told him as she looked at a photo of Kendall as a teenager.

"Even when things were bad between the two of you, she told me that she always felt this connection with you. Kendall really loved you Erica. She always wanted to be in your life." Erica eyes welled up with tears.

"I'm so sorry for so many things Ethan." Erica disclosed to him, "Not having her as a part of my life all these years if one of them. I'm also sorry that I never had the chance to thank you for saving Kendall's life at the fundraiser. I never believed Kendall was so broken. You helped Kendall out of a very bad place, but most importantly I'm sorry I never gave you a chance. I just thought you weren't good enough for Kendall. Apparently I was so wrong, very wrong. You would have made Kendall happy."

Ethan smiled at her and she looked out the window and realized it was over, "Looks like the storm has passed. The sun is peeking through." He nodded, "Who knows maybe better days are ahead – for each of us." Erica got the box and started to walk out the door. She turned back around, "Thank for you this; you will never know how much this means to me."

"I think I do. You're welcome Erica."