Realities Apart

By Sam I Am –

Rating: PG-13 (can't honestly be any more than that)

Warnings: Sam/Jack (that's a warning for anyone who don't like that)

Category: Sam/Jack Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, AU fic, friendship and a little bit of SG-1 Humour thrown in for good measure. (If there's anything I missed out someone tell me!)

Spoilers: Bits and Bobs from Seasons 1-4!

Time frame: Sometime during Season 4, after 'Divide and Conquer' (I think!)

Summary: While one world is being enslaved, another carries on as usual until one particular person travels through the Quantum mirror to give Sam and Jack a big surprise!

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime / Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. Not to be archived without permission. If you want to archive my story TELL ME, or, to borrow a phrase from our beloved Colonel, I am SO gonna kick your ass!

Author's Notes: The fan fic I ever began! Sat on a coach two years ago, scribbling in my rough/note book as we were on the way to France, my Best Pal/Editor helping me write. Ah Memories!!!

Dedications: To my Best pal/Editor. This story is truly dedicated to you, Hannah! Also to all you S/J fans, especially Carter13! You're great for a chat!

The First I ever began... Realities Apart!

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Part Two

They'd stayed in the park for hours. They'd walked around, had ice creams, played on the swings and talked. It was now dark and Hannah was asleep in Sam's arms. The child snored peacefully as she sucked her thumb. Sam gently stroked the silky hair with her fingers. She looked up at Jack who sat beside her smiling. She'd never seen him look like that before. He'd always been either quite strict or in one of his comic moods, but this was true feeling.

There had been one other time when she'd seen that much feeling in his eyes and that had been the mission where her, Jack and Daniel had been wearing the 'super hero' armbands. She'd seen that intense emotion in his eyes when she'd been stuck behind the force field with no way out. He'd thought she was going to die. He'd thought they were going to die, but he'd stayed because he didn't want to leave her. Even though she'd begged him to leave, he'd refused up to the point of yelling at her in simple fear and desperation and it had made her realise that Jack O'Neill pretended to not feel as much as other men because in reality his emotions were too potent for him to cope with. In one split second she'd realised more about him than anyone else without knowing it.

He sighed gently as he looked up from their sleeping daughter. Their eyes connected and Sam felt something almost glue her eye line to his. She couldn't look away no matter how hard she tried. Her heart seemed to be pumping on overtime and she felt heat rising to her face although she couldn't move and continued to stare into his brown eyes filled with... longing. The same longing she'd felt for the past 5 years.

Suddenly, as if realising they were just staring at each other, Jack managed to avert his gaze bashfully. He picked blades of grass and began shredding them as Sam spoke, deciding it was safest to break the dangerous silence. "Where's she going to sleep tonight?" Her soft voice was interrupted when the child let out a small hissing snore as she breathed through her mouth, the air rushing past her thumb.

"She could come to mine. I've got spare rooms." He murmured back as he helped Sam to stand up, their hands clasped for a second. He grudgingly pulled his hand free when she stood beside him and they began to walk to Sam's car.

"She can't really come to mine. My house is too small and full of delicate instruments for work. It would be a catastrophe!" She was smiling at the little girl in her arms fondly, but there was more than fondness in those beautiful blue eyes and Jack knew he wasn't the only one who'd fallen in love with the Munchkin.

"Do you want me to drive?" he said gently, trying not to wake their daughter. Their daughter... That sounded good. Too good...

"Sure," she murmured back softly breaking off his train of thought. He walked over to her and she gave him the car keys. He opened the passenger door and Sam slid into the seat. He walked around the car to the other side and climbed in.

As they drove, Sam stared at him, suddenly fascinated with his features. Her eyes trailed up his jaw line, over his lips and up to his dark brown eyes which were watching the road. She looked away blushing slightly. 'You're so dense, Carter!' She thought to herself, 'You're in love with your CO, for crying out loud...! For crying out loud? Dear God, you're obsessed!'

He drew up outside his house. He opened her door and she stepped out. He got the bags of clothes out of the back seat. It had been nice of Janet to lend them some of Cassie's old clothes. They were too big for Hannah's tiny form, but they would do. He walked onto the porch and opened the front door as Sam followed him with the sleeping child cradled in her arms. He didn't switch on a light afraid of waking Hannah, but instead led Sam to the spare room as they crept up the stairs of the dark house.

Jack opened a door and Sam walked into the room, laying the girl down on the bed, for a second stretching out the slight crick in her back from carrying the small child. Jack pulled out a duvet and a pillow from the wardrobe and sorted out the bed as Sam got Hannah ready for bed.

"Jack, can you get those pyjamas out of that bag?" Sam whispered pointing at the plastic bag sat at the end of the bed. Jack obeyed as Sam got the child undressed. She took the pale green Winnie the Pooh pyjamas and put them on Hannah, who was standing in a doze unaware of everything around her. Jack stood there watching almost in a trance as Sam tucked her under the duvet and kissed her on the forehead softly, stroking the little girl's cheek tenderly, "Night, Sweetie." She turned and walked out of the room as Jack followed slowly.

This was like a dream for him. It wouldn't be the first time he'd dreamt about this happening. Sam tucking their child into bed, softly kissing their son/daughter's forehead and then smiling at him and... well, every scenario ended up differently. Some of his dreams would even turn into nightmares, an eerily familiar gun shot smashing the silence as Jack ran upstairs to find that their child's life had been sucked out of them by another bloodthirsty bullet...

He gently pulled the door shut slightly, trying to shut out the bad thoughts at the same time. He flicked on the light for the landing and turned to find himself bump straight into Sam's back. His arms grabbed her shoulder as she nearly tripped and then spun around in his arms, staring at him. She released her breath and the fact Jack could feel it on his neck made him gulp as his mouth suddenly became dry and his blood began pumping furiously. They were too close for comfort and Jack took a step backwards, detangling her from his arms with an uncomfortable blush on his cheeks.

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" Jack asked quietly as she smiled her beautiful smile that made his freeze.

"Yeah. That would be nice," she murmured softly.

As they walked downstairs Jack switched on the downstairs lights and Sam sat on the couch as he wandered into the kitchen to make the coffee. She watched him as he moved around his kitchen. He came in with two large mugs and sat down next to her on the couch.

"I never thought I'd be a Mom," Sam said after a minute of silence, "I just gave up hope in the end. Not a lot happens in relationships when you're the wrong side of thirty." She chuckled and then her expression became serious. There was something else there, deep in her eyes. It was cavernous sadness laced with... regret. Her eyes then rose and fell on him. He averted his gaze and began staring into his mug obviously as uncomfortable as she was with the situation.

He looked up at her again as he murmured, "I never thought I'd be a Dad again, but then again I also thought I'd never be in love again and look how wrong I was."

'Dammit! Did I just say that? Ah crap! Open mouth! Insert foot! God, I can't believe I just said that! It's true, but ah Crap! Why does this stuff always happen to me? Oh for crying out loud! Me and my whopping great gob! She's going to hate me now!'

Sam was staring into his eyes shocked. She looked away feeling colour rush to her cheeks. She knew the meaning behind his words, but she still felt herself denying it.

"I really should be going," she whispered, hating herself for saying it. She drained the coffee mug and stood up walking to the door. She stepped outside and went to say something she shouldn't, but instead murmured, "If you need anything just call, OK?" she said as she turned to find him standing behind her. He nodded slowly, as she spun back around and got into her car. Jack just wanted to run to her, beg her to stay, but he couldn't and, feeling miserable, he watched as she started the engine.

"I need you," he said softly as he saw her drive off. He meandered back indoors, shutting the door behind him. He stumbled back into the living room, turned and looked at the door, a small sigh escaping his lips. He collapsed on the couch rubbing his eyes wearily, "Dammit!" He never could say what he felt. He seemed to have a permanent mental block when it came to speaking what he felt. He had no problem with making his opinion known, it was just voicing his feelings he had the trouble with. Every time he went to say something right he never could say it. Instead he always blurted out something really stupid! Oh for crying out l...

Knock Knock Knock!

Jack sat up, a small frown creasing his forehead. There was silence for a moment. He was just imagining it...

Knock Knock Knock!

He knew that familiar rap...!

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!

There was defiantly someone knocking on Jack O'Neill's front door!

He walked over to the door and opened it. Hoping...

"Sam?" He realised he'd been calling her by her first name since they'd left the SGC! She stepped into the house and stared at him. There was something in her eyes that made Jack uneasy. Not in a bad way! In fact if you could be uneasy in a good way, it was probably how he felt right now!

"I forgot something," she said softly as he shut the door behind her. Before he had a chance to ask her what she'd forgotten, she clasped his face in her hands and kissed him.

She half expected him to pull away and to tell her she was way out of line, but he didn't. She stopped and gazed into his eyes. He was surprised. That was obvious by the way he blinked and his eyebrows rose almost to his hair line.

"Well..." He managed to say. His voice was no more than a breathless croak. She bit her bottom lip feeling nervous waiting for him to murmur 'Look Carter. I just... uh... don't like you that way.'

He stared at her and that's when she saw it. A strange glint in his gorgeous, dark eyes as a smile came to his lips and he murmured, "I forgot something too."

This time his lips touched hers sending a relentless shiver up her spine as her eyes slid shut. She felt his comforting arms winding around her waist and she coiled her arms around his neck as he held pulled her closer.

What a kiss! Jesus! Sam could barely breathe as he deepened the kiss, her diaphragm squeezing pleasurably. She hadn't had a kiss like this in years... if ever!

She broke off suddenly. This was SO not a good thing to be doing with one's CO! She turned embarrassed slightly. She didn't want to leave, but if she stayed it would be a big mistake. She stared into his eyes and knew he was thinking the same as her. His hands left her waist reluctantly as he stared at her as she walked out of that door for the second time.

He stood there in his hall for about a minute as he heard her car pull away and start driving down the road. If Hannah hadn't been asleep upstairs he would have whooped for joy. Instead he grinned to himself turned off the lights downstairs and decided to go to get some much needed rest.

"Who da thunk?" he muttered as he trundled upstairs.

As he passed Hannah's room, he couldn't help, but peek inside. He was shocked to see Hannah wasn't there! He felt a sudden fear that he had only felt a few other times in his life and found his body kick into action.

"Hannah?" He searched the room frantically and then finally realised where she might be. He bolted into his room across the hall to find Hannah trying to climb onto the bed. She wasn't quite tall enough to get her leg onto the bed. Jack smiled fondly and slightly relieved at the sight of the four-year-old as the little girl turned. His smile changed to a worried frown as he saw the little girl was crying. He nearly collapsed to his knees, "Come here," he said gently and she ran into his arms without a single hesitation. He hugged her to him as he said gently, "What's up, Kiddo?"

"Nigh'marez," she whispered fearfully. She hiccoughed gently, "'Poffis did killed you and Mommy again." She gave a little sob as Jack hugged her tighter and rocked her gently.

He rubbed her quivering back as he kissed her temple softly, "Hey. Hey. Don't cry, Sweetie! It's OK. It was just a bad dream. See, I'm here. Hannah," he cupped her small face in his hand and stared into her tearful eyes, "I'm here, Baby. I'm OK. It wasn't real..." He pulled her back into his hug as the little girl clung to him fearfully, "It wasn't real."

"Where'z Mommy?" Her muffled voice came from his shoulder.

Jack felt himself blushing and wondered how to reply. Hannah looked up at him as he murmured, "She's gone home, Honey."

The girl nodded as if understanding completely and Jack reminded himself she probably did. After all she was Carter's daughter and therefore she was as bright as a light bulb. But then again she was also his daughter and he was a dim as that light bulb with a black lampshade covering it!

She snuggled into his arms as she whispered, "Can I havva drink?"

Jack smiled gently as he rose from the floor and grabbed the little girl's tiny fingers in the palm of his hand as they walked downstairs. He watched as the little girl let go off his hand and sat down on the edge of the first step.

Thump, thump, thump...

The little girl slid down each step at a time. Jack shook his head laughingly. Hannah had just proved to him how much she meant to him and he'd only known her for less than a day!

When she reached the bottom step he lifted her up and carried her into the kitchen. He plonked her down on the work surface while he got out a plastic beaker, "What do you want to drink?"

"Milk pleaze," she murmured as Jack opened the fridge and pulled out the carton.

"You know," he said as he poured the milk into the beaker, "Your Mom is gonna kill me when she hears that you were still awake at..." he checked his wristwatch, "10:30."

"I can't shleep," the little girl said matter-of-factly. She sounded a lot like Sam when she spoke again, "so I iz p'obably wake at ten firty every night anywayz." Jack shook his head with amusement as he gave the girl her cup of milk and put the milk carton back in the refrigerator.

Jack suddenly had an idea. He rushed into the living room leaving the child swinging her legs and sipping her milk on the tabletop, her baggy Winnie the Pooh pyjamas nearly covering her tiny fingers and toes.

When he came back in she gave him a look. A look that included her watching him with narrowed eyes and raising one eyebrow in suspicion. She'd obviously learnt that look from Sam. It was the 'what-the-hell-did-you-just-do' look that was used by women from all over the universe!

He flashed her a grin, as he lifted her off the work surface and carried her into the front room. He put her down in the armchair and went over to the VCR. He pushed in a video and then lifted the girl up and sat her on his lap.

'Hopefully she'll dose off,' he thought as they watched a girl in a gingham dress and a little black dog running down the road. The girl's eyes lit up as Dorothy and Toto came onto the screen. Jack grinned. She loved this film too then. He knew he loved it and that was probably why Hannah was almost mouthing every word. The Wizard of Oz was the greatest film to stop any kid's nightmares. It had worked with Charlie and Jack had lent it to Fraiser when Cassie had had nightmares. It always worked like a charm!

She snuggled into his arms and began to suck her thumb. Her hair was draped over the arm of the chair and her eyelids were drooping tiredly. She gave a cute yawn as the Munchkins began to sing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'.

By the time Dorothy had met the Cowardly Lion, Hannah was fast asleep and snoring again. Jack smiled. He had to admit it. Hannah had just stolen his heart.

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The next day Sam woke in her bed in her bungalow. She sighed. She didn't know whether she was sighing because last night she kissed the man she loved or if she was sighing because she was 36 and waking up alone in her bed. She looked at the clock 7:30am.

"Dammit!" She threw herself out of bed and cursed as she pulled on her uniform. She had fifteen minutes to get to the base! Why in god's name had her alarm not gone off?!?

She looked at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. She always looked awful on the worst possible days! She pulled a hand through her hair. At least her hair looked alright today. She picked up that plant analysis for P3R 290, locked her front door and ran down the path to her car.

As she jumped into her car she felt panic sweep over her. Jack. She'd kissed Jack, her CO. What the hell had she been playing at? She would have to see Jack today. Damn her for being so stupid! Damn him for being such a good kisser...! Ah Crap!

"Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!" She grumbled as she began to drive down the road.

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As she drove into the car park, she picked up the reports that lay on the passenger's seat. She slammed the door only to turn and see a mud splattered truck pulling up right next to her car.

"Dammit!" she cursed under her breath as Jack lifted Hannah from the passenger's seat of the truck. She was bright eyed and wide awake, but Jack looked nothing of the sort. He looked exhausted.

"Folloh the Yelloh bick road. Folloh the Yelloh bick road. Folloh, folloh, folloh, folloh..." The little girl sang cheerfully as she did a little dance.

"Hey! Are the Munchkins meant to be that noisy?" Jack said to the little girl as she giggled and just sang louder.

"I'm not a Munchie!" She told him as if it were blatantly obvious, "I'm Dorowfy!"

Jack spoke with a grin, "Where's Toto?"

The little girl spoke bossily, "You can be Toto!"

The man gave a small chuckle, pointing at himself in fake offence, causing his daughter to giggle, "Me? ME?!? Well, that's just charming! I'm glad you think I look like a dog..." He looked up to see Sam stood in front of him and stopped talking abruptly. After a second of just staring at each other he managed to say apprehensively, "Morning, Carter." The little girl ran to hug her. She smiled at the little girl and then turned to him. God, she looked gorgeous this morning! Why did she always look so irresistible on the worst possible days?

"Morning, Sir," she replied bringing him back to the real world.

He immediately pretended to read his watch, "Let's get in there or we'll be late." Sam lifted the little girl into her arms, as they walked to the entrance of the mountain Jack following behind them.

They stepped into the lift as Sam turned to Jack, "General Hammond wants us to be debriefed. We're going on a mission in a couple of days. He told us to come and see him in the debriefing room to arrange it and see what we're going to do about Dorothy here!" Sam grinned at the little girl, "You wanna come see Grandpa George?"

Hannah took in that part of the conversation and nodded fervently before she began to sing, "Weeeeeeeer off to seey the Wizud. The wonerfull Wizud ov Ozz..."

Sam laughed cheerfully as Jack put his head in his hands wearily. Sam looked at him concerned, "What's up?"

His hands dropped by his sides as Hannah brought up a chorus of 'Ding Dong the witch is dead!' He turned to her with a small smile, "Hannah couldn't sleep. I got her a drink and we watched the Wizard of Oz. She was out like a light within half hour and it was just me who couldn't sleep! Then the Little Monster woke up at 5:30am and began watching that Purple dinosaur always singing about how much he loves everybody..."

"Barney?" Sam supplied smiling fondly.

"Yeah. She turned the TV up to full volume and then when I came downstairs, she told me you had told her to always do it when I was being lazy! I mean I can understand and all, I am rather a stubborn So---mebody," Jack replaced his rude word with another, obviously well-practised in the matter, before continuing, "But at 5:30am! I swear that child is pure Evil!"

Sam just gave him a matching smile, "She is our daughter!"

The little girl didn't notice the sudden discomfort between her parents and grinned at them mischievously. She was so very adorable and both of them couldn't help but grin back. She began singing 'The wonerfull Wizud ov Ozz' again as Sam joined in.

The doors opened and Sam and Hannah skipped into the corridor and past two airmen singing and giggling. Both of the men gave Jack a 'rather-you-than-me' look and continued with their interrupted conversation.

As they made there way to the debriefing room the claxon rang through the halls, "Emergency Medical Team to level 24!"

"What the...?" Jack said as Sam halted in front of him as if asking for permission to see what was going on. He nodded, "Let's go check it out!"

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As they came through the mirror, Sam looked around. Sat only a few feet away from her were Teal'c and Daniel. She stared at them in shock and then realising the situation she turned to Daniel, "Call a medical team, now!"

She turned back to Jack as Daniel used the phone to call the Infirmary. She felt for a pulse. No pulse! She started to do CPR.

"Come on, Baby! Breathe! Come on," she said struggling to keep back tears, "Dammit Jack! Don't do this to me! Please, Honey! Just breathe for me! Jack?"

Teal'c stood watching her not knowing what to do. He stared at the woman. He saw the lady from the photographs. Major Carter, but of course she wasn't Major Carter. She was Dr. O'Neill.

He opened the door as the medical team ran in. They lifted Jack onto the stretcher and began to run to the Infirmary. She followed blinded by the steady flow of tears. She felt Daniel grab her arm as they ran. At first she flinched after all he was... dead, but when she realised he wasn't, of course, dead here, she felt comforted and even slightly happy he was here.

As they reached the Infirmary, she heard Janet yelling, "I need a heart monitor in here stat. Charge the panels to 100..."

The words just washed over her as she stood in the doorway of the Infirmary.

"Clear!" His body jerked violently. She heard the heartbeat monitor bleeping and Sam took a deep breath of slight relief.

"We've got a pulse. Good job," said Janet, "We need bandages and antiseptic cream. And bring me some painkillers... but no sedatives for the moment..."

After about three minutes of nurses bustling around, Sam finally came back to the real world. Sam felt dizzy as she walked over to his bedside and crouched in level with his face. She realised that he was conscious again.

"Sam?" he croaked a she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm here, it's alright. You're going to be fine, Baby," she said stroking his hair tenderly.

"I've had worse," he grinned though it left as he grimaced from the pain. He stared into her eyes, "Where am I exactly?" She laughed warmly, although with slight anxiety.

"We got through the mirror."

"Hannah?" he asked hopefully.

"I haven't had a chance to ask yet," she kissed him lovingly and glanced out of the corner of her eye at a slightly bemused looking Janet giving him an injection for the pain. Sam turned back to him and said gently, "Get some sleep. I'll find her." She got up to leave.

"Sam?" she turned to stare at her husband, "I should have told you back there, but when I decided to fend off the Jaffa I didn't want to make it more difficult to leave... Sam, I love you."

The words sent a smile to her mouth and a warm pain to her heart, as she whispered back softly, her voice croaking slightly with emotion, "I love you too."

She turned and went to walk out of the Infirmary as Janet stopped her. She stared at her amazed and then babbled, "Look at your back! I have to dress those burns!"

"Give me a few minutes," she said pushing past the flustered Doctor, resisting all attempts to make her sit down. Sitting down would only get rid of the adrenaline that was keeping her going.

As she fought her way out of the Infirmary she spotted Daniel sitting in the waiting room and Teal'c standing silently beside him. Both of them looked up at her slightly surprised and shocked, both looking decidedly awkward. "Hey, Sam!" Daniel smiled comfortingly.

"Daniel... Hannah?" she asked desperately, but before he could answer there was a call from the door.

"Daniel, Teal'c, what the hell is goin... Whoa!" Jack's voice trailed away as he saw Sam standing in front of him or more precisely... Other Sam. From behind him he heard a gasp and glanced at Sam holding Hannah in her arms. The small girl's eyes widened as Sam slowly lowered the child to the floor, "Mommy?"

He looked at the Sam standing in front of him again as she gasped and flung a hand to her mouth, her eyes beginning to water, her bottom lip trembling with shock. She dropped to her knees, "Hannah? Hannah!" She cried as the little girl ran to her, "Oh God! Hannah!" She pulled the girl into her chest and stood up spinning the girl around, laughing as it was another outlet for her coursing emotions.

"Mommy!"

Sam cried tears pouring down her cheeks and fell back onto her knees as Hannah clung to her, "Sweetie, I'm here! I'm here now, Baby! Oh, you're safe. My little girl," She said pulling back her daughter's face so she could stare into those brown eyes and know she was really here. Sam stroked Hannah's cheek, placing hundreds of kisses all over the girl's small face, making the child giggle as she continued to sob relieved, pulling her close again, "You're OK. Oh thank God! We were so worried! We thought we'd never see you again! Oh, thank you, God! Thank you so much!"

She crouched there just sobbing quietly for a few minutes holding her daughter close to her, kissing her beautiful soft hair and thanking God she was OK. She opened her watery eyes slowly and then she stood up propping Hannah on her hip. She swiped the back of one hand across her eyes as she stared at the Sam and Jack that stood in front of her. He looked exactly the same as her Jack, but she had short hair and she was in the Air Force! This was a strange variation!

She looked at them. She tried to hide her astonishment when she realised... they weren't together in this world. She could never imagine a time like that.

She wiped her eyes with her free arm again unable to get rid of the tears in them as she murmured, "Thank you for taking care of Hannah! The mirror broke and we thought it would never work again. Jack kept telling me we'd get it to work and we finally did, but then he was shot..." She let out a long breathy sigh preventing a sob, "Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"That's OK," the other Jack spoke and she was suddenly 'lost' in his eyes. She knew all the different feelings in Jack's eyes, but this was one she'd never seen. It was like absolute loss. She had seen it before, but this was somehow different. The fact she was 'lost' in his eyes was the most disconcerting thing she'd ever felt...

She was brought back to life by the sound of the heartbeat monitor as the monitored heart stopped beating. She swivelled around swiftly in absolute terror. She watched as Nurses began running to...

"Jack!" Sam put the little girl down as her double ran and scooped Hannah up in her arms, the little girl beginning to cry scared, worried and completely unsure of what was going on.

As Sam ran to her husband she heard the familiar sounds of the chaos when someone's heart had stopped beating. She halted as she watched Janet charging up the panels. She stood there shaking terribly as people rushed around her.

"Clear!" The ear piercing beep continued. She watched as Janet cursed under her breath.

"Clear!"

'Come on, Baby! Please, not now! We've found her, Jack! She's safe! She's OK!'

"Clear!" Beep, beep, beep.

She swayed as she felt hot tears pouring down her cheeks. She began to tremble uncontrollably. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She recoiled from the pain of her scalded back and almost fell over. She turned to find Teal'c standing there behind her.

"Are you well?"

"No," she smiled weakly as she swayed again.

Teal'c caught her as he held her for a second before helping her to stand up straight again. He spoke in his low voice, "I believe it would be most constructive if you sat down, Dr. O'Neill."

Her stomach churned and she felt sick with worry, but she shook her head, "I have to be with my daughter..."

"Not yet," Janet said grabbing Sam's arm, "Burns first."

Janet spent about ten minutes dressing the burns on her back. When she'd finished, Sam got up shakily and was led by Teal'c into the waiting room again. He felt her shaking beneath his grip on her arm.

She collapsed into a chair as her sniffling daughter climbed into her lap. She held the girl tightly as yet another wave of tears took her as everything hit her at once. Her baby was unharmed, her husband was badly hurt and their world was overrun with Jaffa. Not to mention the fact that the longer they stayed here the more likely they were to have entopic cascade failure convulsions.

She wiped her eyes and stared at the people sitting around her. Across the room from her sat the other Jack and Sam. They were sat next to each other, but both looked extremely awkward. She knew they weren't married for more than one different reason: they both worked in the air force, neither were wearing wedding rings and the fact they looked so awkward sitting next to each other. She couldn't imagine a world where she wasn't allowed to love Jack.

He turned to look at the Major as if about to say something and then looked away again. He loved her no doubt about that and she knew she loved him, I mean they were the same person after all.

She then looked at Daniel. He was twiddling his thumbs awkwardly. She knew that expression on the young man's features. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. His forehead was creased into a slight frown. She had to admit Daniel didn't usually have nothing to say and that when he was struggling to think of something to say it usually meant that the situation was awkward... very awkward!

Teal'c, as usual, stood in silence, but Sam could tell he was thinking to himself. Probably discussing how strange Tau'ri customs were and why the Tau'ri had such mixed emotions. He caught her eye and gave her what she guessed to be a reassuring smile. She smiled back gently as Hannah shuffled in her arms.

She sighed as she looked at the little girl fondly staring into those big brown eyes. She had the most beautiful eyes, just like her Daddy. She gently stroked her soft hair, feeling her fingers entwining in the gold locks. Her whole world had tumbled into darkness when she thought she'd lost her little girl for good. The only light had been Jack. Encouraging her and telling her Hannah was safe somewhere, even though she knew it was one of the only things he doubted. He'd even tried to help fix the mirror even though he didn't have a clue what he was doing. She loved him for that.

"Mommy?" The little girl spoke quietly, breaking the silence that had transcended upon the waiting room. Everyone in the room turned to stare at them.

"Yes, Sweetie," she replied just as quietly.

"Where iz we gonna go?"

"Me and Daddy will think of something," she smiled reassuringly.

"Do the angelz tellz you what to do?"

"Did?" she asked as the girl nodded, "I'm sure the Asguard will help us soon. I bet that one of Daddy's friends went to see Thor and got them to help us. I bet they're on their way to kill all the bad Jaffa right now..."

"Iz they gonna kill 'Poffis as swell?"

Sam smiled grimly, "Daddy killed him, Sweetie. He's gone now. He won't come back."

"Mommy?" the girl asked cautiously, "What did happ end to Cazzy and Janet? Iz Danyel and Teal'c OK?"

Sam gave a small-strangled sob and held a shaky hand to her mouth for a second before she murmured softly, trying hard not to cry, "I'm not sure, Sweetie." She knew in her reality almost everyone was dead. Janet and Cassandra had been at the base at the time of the attack. Maybe they got to the Alpha site! Oh please say they had!

"Mommy? What did happ end to Daddy?"

"He was shot by some Jaffa."

"Why did the nastee Jaffies shoot Daddy? Iz it 'cos they wanna break his neck into a fousand pieces?"

Sam gave a soft laugh, "No, Sweetie. Well, that may have been part of it. It's because we killed Apophis. The Jaffa were angry at Daddy."

The girl looked confused, "Why did they not jus' yel at him? Daddy yells at Jaffies when they make him angerery?"

Sam laughed softly at her child's innocence and kissed her forehead, "That's because Daddy doesn't believe in hurting people for no reason."

As she sat there with the little girl wrapped in her arms General Hammond walked in. Promptly, Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill stood up as he walked in.

The General had obviously only just arrived on base as he was still wearing a jacket, "What just happened?"

He looked over at the woman sat by the door to the Infirmary. It was Major Carter, but of course it wasn't it was Dr. O'Neill. She stood up as well, giving Hannah to Daniel as she said with a small smile, "General?"

"M-Mrs. O'Neill?" He said in disbelief.

"That's me. Just call me 'Samantha'. It might make things slightly easier," she said smiling slightly, glancing over at SG-1's leader and 2IC.

"Would someone like to tell me what's going on around here?"

He turned to Samantha again when she breathed in deeply, "Well, I'll start from the beginning of yesterday..."

Å

As she finished telling the story, General Hammond looked at Hannah. She nodded. Samantha sat there as the General said, "You are free to stay here as long as you please."

"Thank you. It can't have been easy looking after her," She said smiling at the other Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, "Hannah isn't an O'Neill for nothing you know...!"

Suddenly, she grabbed the arms of the chair. Hannah screamed and fell off Sam's lap, as she watched her Mom go through a convulsion. Her body seemed to split and was being pulled in different directions. As it finished she gasped for air. The pain was immense. Hannah whimpered as she sat hugging Daniel as tight as she could.

As she came back to the real world she found everyone staring as their Jack said, "Tropical cascading disorder?"

"Yes Sir," Carter replied, "entopic cascade failure." She said it with emphasis as he stared at his boots slightly embarrassed.

"Sam?" The croaky call came from the Infirmary. The minute she heard it she leapt up from her chair, regained her balance and rushed into the Infirmary.

As the others followed they heard her say, "This will have to be the last time you almost die, Jack O'Neill. I think I might go insane next time." She said as she knelt by his side and held his hand. Their wedding rings glinted in the light.

Jack looked extremely worried, "What the hell just...?"

"Entopic cascade failure," he looked at her blankly, "I'll explain later!"

"Daddy!" He grinned as he saw the little girl crawl up onto his bed.

"Hannah? Am I glad to see you or what!" He said as the little girl hugged him. They rocked backwards and forwards as he murmured, "Thank you, whatever snake-less gods are up there! Oh, my baby's OK." He stroked her hair gently and pulled back slightly as the little girl grinned and rubbed her tiny nose against his in an Eskimo kiss. He pulled her back into a tight hug for a few seconds and then changed from seriously worried father to lovable funny Dad. He cleared his throat and frowned, "Did you complete your away mission, Airman?"

"Yes Zur." She said frowning and then giggled as he tickled her. He groaned in discomfort.

"Come on," said her Mom as she lifted her up, "Daddy's hurt so you're going to have to give him a break."

"Sorry Princess," he chuckled, "Later when your Mom's not around..."

"No! You need rest!" Jack went to argue when Sam said, "As your wife and your Doctor that's an order."

"Not eve..."

"No moving! Doctor's orders!"

"Yeah! Doc'or's orgers!" Hannah said waggling her finger at him as he chuckled.

"Dammit! I hate it when she does that!" He grinned at Teal'c, and then realising it wasn't the Teal'c he knew said, "So who exactly is in this reality?"

Jack O'Neill stepped closer to the bed. "Well this reality is only big enough for one Jack O'Neill! So why there are two of me here I don't know!"

The wounded Jack stared in disbelief, "Cool." He turned to Daniel. He winced, "Hey Danny."

"I'm dead. I know," he said grinning, albeit a little half-heartedly.

Colonel O'Neill turned around to introduce Carter, but she wasn't there, "Carter?" General Hammond looked at him. Daniel and Teal'c turned around and looked thoroughly confused as Colonel O'Neill spoke worriedly, "Where'd she go? She was here a second ago."

"Go find Major Carter. I'll stay here. I need to find out more about your reality," General Hammond said turning to the small family sat in the Infirmary.

Jack, Daniel and Teal'c left the room and all went different ways in search of Carter.

Å

As Jack walked past the locker room on his way to Sam's lab, he heard a sob. He opened the door slowly to see Sam standing by the mirrors, staring into the sink basin. Her eyes were screwed up tightly in an attempt to stop the tears that were falling from them. The past two days he seemed to have seen Sam cry so many times, Jack was getting seriously worried about her.

"Carter?" he whispered gently as he began to walk to her. She turned in surprise.

"Colonel! What are you doing here?" She said, hurriedly wiping the tears away with her sleeve.

"I was worried about you," she looked at him startled. He was standing near her now. Another tear dripped down her face as she turned away to hide it.

"Please, go away," she whispered as she let yet another tear fall down her cheek.

He strode over and put his hand on her shoulder. The sobbing shuddered through her back as he turned her round to face him. "Sam." He stared into her watery blue eyes as she let another cry rattle through her chest. She buried her face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her as she burst into tears. He gently stroked her hair as she trembled underneath his arms, "What's up?" He said when she began to calm down.

"I love her, Jack. Even though I know she isn't really mine," she let another sob out, "I love her so much and now I'm never going to see her again!" She felt his arms around her and wondered if she should pull away, but she felt warm and safe here and she didn't want to move.

There was a pause and Sam wondered whether he was debating about letting go until he spoke, "Taking her on was... so... hard. After Charlie, I never thought I could have another kid, but Hannah... She changed my mind. And now I feel awful because it was finally sinking in that I was a Dad again and now she has to go home. I feel... jealous, I guess. I don't want her to leave... but she has to. I realised yesterday that I love her..."

The door behind them opened as one of the recent recruitments stepped in. Jack turned as the man backed out of the door. He'd obviously seen and heard enough! He knew that look. Must have been related to Colonel Maybourne!

"Oh crap," he sighed, but he didn't let go, "Well there goes my career."

Sam looked into his eyes and to her surprise he was smiling. He hugged her tighter, "Listen. Hannah will be leaving soon," he said as another shuddery sob shook through her, "But I saw you looking after her. You're going to make someone extremely happy someday and you're going to be a great Mom. Hey you've got the overprotective Mom thing down to an art!"

She smiled slightly, "I told you. Not a lot happens in relationships when you're the wrong side of thirty." More tears streamed down her cheek as she spoke the next words. Her body shook and trembled as she pulled herself out of his arms, "And I'll never be a Mom!"

The look of cold realisation in her blue eyes made Jack shiver. She stood there and began to sob, "I can't have kids..." Jack watched in absolute shock as his distraught 2IC pushed him away. She wrapped her arms around her upper body as she collapsed in a heap on the icy, tiled floor. "I can't have kids!" She whispered shocked as if it was finally sinking in and then let out a heart-wrenching whimper.

Jack approached her cautiously and crouched next to her, "Sam, I'm so sorry..."

She began to yell, "LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY!" She burst into another wave of angry tears as she shoved him away from her. She cried even harder as she looked into his face to see nothing but him wanting to help her. He sat there arms wide trying to coax her into them. She whimpered between cries, "I'm-sorry-Jack. Just—such-a-shock!"

"Shh," he murmured as she came back into his outstretched arms, "I'm sorry too. I had no idea."

"Can't-stop—crying."

"It's OK. You need to let it all out."

The door opened again as General Hammond, Teal'c, Daniel and Janet all walked in followed by the recruit, whose triumphant smirk turned to a look of horror when he heard Major Carter's forlorn sobs as Colonel O'Neill held her close.

"Colonel?" said General Hammond said as Jack frowned at him meaningfully, "What the hell is going on?"

"With all due respect, Sir, can you give her a minute here?" said Jack angry that his CO could not take a hint.

As they all trailed out of the door, Sam murmured, "Janet told me the other day. The radiation on P4X 931... it damaged... me..."

"That's why you've been so out of it recently," he nodded and then put on a warm smile, "I think I better get you off this floor, out of this base and somewhere warm. We can have a talk if you want."

She nodded. She'd never known how gentle he could be. He'd always been the tough air force Colonel, but this encounter with Hannah seemed to have changed him. It had changed them both.

He helped her up and steered her to the door. He pushed past the General saying, "We're taking the rest of today off," in the tone only Colonel O'Neill would dare speak to a superior officer in.

The General was about to ask what the hell was going on again, when he felt Janet touch his arm, "Let them go," and as they stepped into the lift she said, "Sam's had some very bad news recently and I don't think Hannah coming through the Quantum mirror helped much."

The General's anger subsided, "What bad news?"

"Patient-Doctor confidentiality, Sir. If she wants to tell you she'll tell you," said the Doctor as General Hammond sighed.

"Thank you, Doctor."

ÅÅÅ

As Jack got into his truck, he stared at Sam. Her face was pale and there were reds rings under her eyes from when she had been crying. She looked like Sara had when Charlie had died.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere. Away from here," she stared out of the window as he began to drive out of the car park.

"Minnesota sound good," he joked, "I know a great place to go fishing."

She was smiling, but he knew that she wouldn't be for long.

He drove not really concentrating on where he was going and ended up pulling up outside his house. He opened her door and helped her out. As he turned around he saw his next-door neighbour glaring at him from her porch. She was an eccentric old lady, the kind that had millions of cats and baked cookies for no apparent reason, Jack had never liked her much and the feeling was utterly mutual.

"I'm watching you. Don't think I'm not going to tell Sara about this business."

This was all he needed! Jack sighed, "Mrs. Simpson. For a start Sara and me are not married any more, secondly this is one of my best friends. I'm not too peachy today either from nearly getting kicked out of the Air Force. So if you'll excuse me and stop lecturing me on my ruined life, I need to get Sam sorted out."

The woman looked shocked, but Jack didn't have the time to be talking to some old lady. She huffed back inside where she picked up the phone and her phone book. She flicked through the pages until she found the number she need and started dialling as Muffy lightly jumped onto her lap, the cat purring as it rubbed its body up against the woman's stomach. She'd show him!

"Hello. Sara?"

Å

Jack gently led Sam inside and sat her on the couch. She was staring into nothingness her eyes in a trance. Jack knelt in front of her and shook her shoulder gently. She blinked and then focussed on him.

"Do you want coffee?" he said gently as she nodded. He walked into the kitchen getting out two mugs and starting to make the coffee. When he came back in her spoke, "I was thinking. You should probably stay the night round here," he passed her the mug her hands trembling. As she spilled the coffee all over herself, she began to cry again. He put his arm around her, "Later, I'll take you to your place and you can pick up some stuff."

She nodded biting her lip. She was fighting back the tears. He got up and started to mop up the coffee. "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm sorry for everything."

"Don't worry. I'm gonna look after you for a couple of days until you've sorted yourself out. Do you want me to get your Dad?" he asked as he rejoined her on the couch.

"No, not yet," she gave a bitter smile, "Besides, he'd probably busy with the Tok'ra."

He stared at her. He'd never seen Sam look so upset or worried. She was down right depressed and that scared the hell out of him. If Sam was like this, God help the rest of the universe!

"Right. Let's go get you some stuff and then we can come back and I'll order pizza. How's that for a plan?"

She gave a weak smile as he grabbed her hand and squeezed her fingers gently in as supporting a way as he could. After a second she nodded slightly and whispered, "Great."

Å

When they got back from Sam's house, she collapsed on the couch pulling her knees up to her chest. Jack got on the phone and ordered the pizza. As he walked back into the living room he said, "Go have a shower. The pizza will be here in twenty minutes. You have everything you need?" She nodded as he led her upstairs and showed her the bathroom.

He walked downstairs again and sat on the couch, as there was a knock on the door. Couldn't be the delivery boy already? As he opened the door he saw his ex-wife standing in front of him. Her arms were folded, that was never a good sign! She was glaring at him and tapping her foot in the way she did when she was agitated, two more bad signs! This was going to get ugly!

"Where is she?" Did she mean Sam?

He frowned, "Upstairs taking a shower." He closed his eyes when he realised how awful that had sounded.

"Jack! I never thought you'd stoop as low as goddamn prostitutes!"

"Come again!" Jack said outraged. He let out a snort, "Sam's not a prostitute."

She glared at him, "Don't think you can lie to me because you can't. You never could. I always found you out."

"If you're going to accuse me of something at least don't let everyone else hear. My neighbours already hate my ass!" He said showing her in. She sat on the couch and stared at one of the bags they'd got from Sam's.

"Moving in is she?" Her voice was dripping with disgust.

"She's staying here a couple of days until she's OK."

"Oh come on, Jack. What's the point in talking bullshit! I know she's some kind of cheap tart."

"You haven't even met her! How dare you insult someone you haven't even met before." They heard someone turn off the shower upstairs. He wanted to tell her that it was his 2IC upstairs and why she was here, but it wasn't his place to say. Not yet.

As they sat there in an awkward silence he heard footsteps on the landing. Quietly Sam walked down the stairs. She was wearing a pair of old baggy dungarees with an equally baggy and faded pink t-shirt underneath. Her mop of blonde hair was ruffled and stuck out at odd angles where she'd rubbed it with a towel. She still looked very pale and Jack immediately walked over to her.

Sara sat there her mouth wide open as she stared at the woman, who murmured, "I heard the door. Is the pizza...?"

She stopped when she noticed the woman she recognised as Jack's ex-wife, Sara. Her face was full of surprise and she was about to smile and greet the woman when she noticed the expression on the woman's face. Sam looked over at Jack and then back at Sara confused.

"Who are you? And why are you here!" Sara demanded.

"I think good old Mrs. Simpson really did phone Sara," Jack said and Sam saw the silent apology in his eyes as he looked at her. Sam knew this was going to get nasty.

"Yes, she did," she said to Jack with contempt, "Who is she? You're whore!" The woman hissed angrily. Not at Jack though. For some reason the woman hated her more and Sam felt awful in that moment. A tear dripped down her face as Jack's ex-wife glared at her with disgust. The look of contempt in the woman's eyes was unbearable. Was she really that low to her?

"Where'd he pick you up? I'm gonna call the police and get you arrested," the woman said fiercely.

Jack spoke with a desperation to spare Sam from the hated, jealousy and anger literally fuming from his ex-wife, "Sara, you don't know what you're saying!"

"I know exactly what I'm saying. This slag of yours is going to jail."

Sam felt more tears and closed her eyes, Sara's ongoing insults drowning away as tear after tear fell. After a few seconds she opened her eyes still seeing Sara raving at her, Jack raving at Sara and then Sam had enough, "SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!"

Her tearful shout brought a painful silence down on the room. Jack and Sara both looked at her expectantly, but the shout had been the last straw for Sam. After a second she began to shudder and shake holding back sobs. She looked up at Jack. He took a step towards her to comfort her, but she stepped away from him and whispered, "I'm just going to..." Her sentence was left hanging as her agony became too much and she fled back upstairs.

"Dammit Sara!" Jack said angrily as he fell back onto the couch and pulled his hands over his face, emotionally drained from his previous heated argument with his ex-wife.

Sara glared at him, although Jack could tell suddenly she didn't feel too sure of her accusations now. He turned to her a look of sadness in his eyes, "If you must know her name is Major Samantha Carter of the US Air Force. She's my 2IC. She's a Goddamn Astrophysicist, not a prostitute. On our last mission we ran into some radiation. We were told we were all fine, but Carter asked to keep the information about her private. The truth is she can't have children," Sara gasped and placed a hand to her lips, "I only found out today when I found her sobbing her heart out in the locker room," Jack paused as his ex-wife looked shocked.

"I'm looking after her until she can manage to hold a cup of coffee without trembling so much she spills it." He said pointing to the coffee mug lying on its side on the coffee table, its contents dripping into a small pool on the floor.

"Oh Jack. I'm so sorry. I had no idea!" She said as she tried to look apologetic, "I didn't know. Oh God. That poor woman!"

"Well you shouldn't have just assumed that everything some batty old lady says is accurate. For crying out loud, that old hag talks to her damn cats," Jack said annoyed. As much as he wanted to shout his head off at Sara, he couldn't. He sighed and Sara, who'd expected and wanted a shouting match, was now stood looking extremely lost.

He looked at her and murmured, "I should probably go check on Sam." He got up and opened the door for Sara. She walked out without saying another word as she got into her car and drove away.

As Jack walked into the spare room he found Sam gasping for breath as she fought back the oncoming downpour of tears.

"Sam, she didn't know," Jack said as she stared at him, "Now she feels stupid and guilty." He couldn't hide the slight satisfaction in his voice.

There was another knock at the door. He walked over to Sam.

"Come on," he grabbed her hand and took her down stairs and led her to the couch.

He opened the door, paid the pizza guy and brought the large box into the living room. He noticed she was smiling slightly. He put it down on the table as he went to get two cans of beer. As he came back in and passed her a beer, she smiled gratefully, sniffing slightly, "Thanks," She looked at the steaming box and he immediately opened it.

They sat there and ate the pizza as Jack tried to cheer her up. It had worked to a certain degree. She was now smiling and chuckling, that was a good sign. She was still slightly shaken. He smiled at her lovingly. For a long time he'd had no reason to wake up every morning. Now she was his reason.

He'd first realised how much he needed her after the force shield incident. It was only when he thought he was going to lose her that he realised that he'd rather die himself than ever let that happen. Sam Carter. The woman he'd known for years. She'd grown on him in a way. In the beginning it had just been fun. Flirty comments and the usual, but then he realised he wasn't just flirting; he was falling for her as well.

Half way through his practically one-sided conversation, the phone rang. Jack sighed, placed his beer can back on the coffee table and got up to answer it.

"Jack O'Neill."

"Hey, Jack. It's me, Daniel. Um... I was wondering if you've seen Sam anywhere."

On hearing her name she sat bolt upright.

"Why do you ask?" 'Oh great, O'Neill. Really unsuspicious.'

"I'm worried about her and you got her out of the base and her car is still here, so I thought she might be with you."

He looked at Sam. She nodded.

"Yeah. She's round my place," he looked over at her. She still looked a wreck. Did she want more company?

"Would she mind if I came round for a bit?" Daniel said anxiously.

Sam nodded, "I don't really want to have to explain..."

"She doesn't want to talk about it just yet," Jack said gently, "Give her some time."

"Oh OK. Tell her to phone me if she wants to talk and say I said Hi. I'm always in my lab ready to listen! Tell her I'll stop by and see her tomorrow if she wants and Teal'c said he'd water her plants and he'll even have a 'extensive dialogue with Major Carter's collection of household vegetation if she so desires'..."

Sam smiled slightly at that as Jack interrupted the archaeologist's babbling, "OK Daniel."

"Sorry," Daniel apologised and then said, "OK. See you soon. Bye."

Jack put the phone back in its cradle, the handset making a small clicking noise when it fell into place. He turned to her and asked, "You OK?"

"You know I can't stand it when everyone feels sorry for me. It's bad enough I pity myself," she mumbled quietly. She looked up at him. Her face was pale and her eyelids were beginning to droop. She yawned. Jack looked at his watch, 9:00pm.

"Maybe you should get some sleep, Sam. You look worn-out."

He was calling her Sam. She felt that he wasn't just saying her name out of sympathy. She stood up and mumbled, "Night Jack." She walked passed him and up the stairs.

"Night Sam." She heard the soft voice float up the stairs from the living room. It was comforting. And at this particular moment Sam needed as much security as possible. She felt extremely fragile and vulnerable at the moment and she couldn't help feeling she needed someone who loved her to help her get through this. And that man was downstairs. That was comforting.

As he heard her door close, a feeling of regret swept over him. He wanted to love her, but he couldn't love her. It was against regulations. There would always have to be a wall between their feelings. An invisible line that they weren't allowed to cross. Damn those stupid Air forces guys who thought it'd be really neat to make up the 'Club house' rules like they were out of the Brady Bunch! Or maybe they just stumbled across a huge honkin' slab of rock with the 11th commandment scraped on it:

11th Commandment:

thou shalt not fall head over heels in love with thy 2Ic, whom was created as the most beautiful creature on the planet just so the world had entertainment in watching you fail miserably at keeping this pointless commandment!

so Nah nah nee nah nah!!! You Suck!

Jack would usually have grinned at that little thought, but now... He loved her so much it hurt to see her in so much pain. He'd abide by that rules, if that was what she wanted, and they'd never have to cross 'the line'...

Problem was they had already crossed it. For instance in Antarctica, she hadn't left him and when she did she came back to comfort him in the cold. They'd both almost died. They'd crossed that line the other night and they both knew that at some point in the next couple of days one of them would bring it up. It was inevitable.

Å

Sam lay in bed, wide awake and completely unable to sleep. He was still down there, maybe if... No she had to stop thinking like that! She'd almost got up and gone downstairs four times and every time she'd stopped herself before making that huge mistake. She knew if she did she would probably do something they would regret in the long term, but... maybe he wouldn't care that she couldn't have kids. Maybe he didn't want any more kids after Charlie. Problem was she wanted kids more than anything, just as much as she wanted Jack O'Neill.

She climbed out of bed and to the door. She opened it silently. Jack was watching a football game downstairs, which he was obviously not enjoying much as he hadn't made a single loud shout of irritation at the ref! She crept down the stairs and walked into the living room. Jack was rubbing the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes, obviously trying to ward off sleep. She gently sat next to him.

"What are you doing up?" He said surprised to see her.

"I couldn't sleep." Jack thought he was dreaming for a minute. Sam in his house, wearing a dressing gown and pink slippers. It was almost like they were... living together.

"I can't stop thinking about it," she said bringing him back to the real world. She attempted to smile as he put an arm around her shoulder. She lowered her head onto his shoulder, "I needed some company."

He looked down with surprise. Her eyes were closed. He must be dreaming. He decided he had fallen asleep while watching the game and that he was definitely dreaming, but it felt so real. He looked down at her. Her hair lay ruffled around her face, glinting from the light from the TV. She breathed gently, her lips slightly open.

The fact that this was probably some dream and that it wouldn't last was enough to hurt. It hurt a lot which was surprising. God, he was hooked! Fish, line and sinker! The (really bad) fisherman had become the fish!

She opened her eyes again and just looked up at him with her big gorgeous eyes and he felt the air in his lungs, or lack there of, leave in a sudden wave of breathlessness. He felt the usually twinge in his gut that signalled him wanting to kiss her, problem was it was no longer just a twinge it was a full blown wrench.

Sam stared into his eyes feeling herself drawn to him. He was looking back at her, albeit slightly confused. She could see the sadness in his gaze. She gently raised her head. Their foreheads were lightly touching, his skin pressing against hers making her heart beat faster still and her body shiver with what felt like electricity. She tilted her head slightly, moving her face closer to his until their lips touched. His soft lips pressed against hers gently in a loving, supportive kiss. It was then she realised he didn't care about her being unable to have kids. He would always be there for her. He loved her! He truly loved her! Jack O'Neill loved her!

As she broke the kiss, she couldn't help but feel a smile crawl onto her lips. She stared into his eyes, "I am dreaming, I knew it!" he said gently as she kissed him again gently.

This time after the kiss she lowered her head back down to his shoulder and felt herself falling into a contented sleep.

ÅÅÅ

The next morning Jack woke up in his living room. As he looked around disorientated, he found Sam still huddled close to him, her eyes shut. He hadn't been dreaming. He decided to get up in case she woke up and thought he'd taken advantage of her or something.

"Morning." Her face turned towards his.

"I didn't know you were awake," he said awkwardly, "I was just getting up," he assured her as she smiled.

"Don't worry. It's my fault for falling asleep on you." He then noticed he still had his arm around her shoulders. He removed it gently as he got up.

"Breakfast?"

"Breakfast would be great. I'll just go get changed." His heart felt a pang as she smiled at him. Oh God, he was so dead! No he was worse than dead! This was not going to be good. If anyone found out it would be really bad, but that wasn't really what bothered him. What bothered him was that he'd didn't think he could stand this much longer, loving her in silence. He'd give up everything if it meant he had a chance with her now. God, they'd kissed. He'd kissed her. She'd... kissed him back. Oh Lord, he was a dead man!

When she came down she found him in the kitchen as he went through his cupboards.

"Froot loops?" He said with a grin. Almost every morning they ate Froot loops in the Commissary. She nodded, as he put the cereal box on the work surface. He grabbed two bowls, as she grabbed the milk from the fridge.

He looked at her. She was wearing a t-shirt and jeans with a jacket tied around her waist. She looked gorgeous and he still looked a state.

She grabbed her bowl and went to sit out on the porch leading to his back yard. It was beautiful. There was no cloud in the sky and the sun shone bright and warm. She curled up in a deck chair as Jack joined her.

She knew now he didn't care at all. He didn't mind that she couldn't have kids. He looked over at her nervously expecting her to say something and she realised he did love her. It sent a spark through her and she felt herself feeling warm for the first time since Janet had told her.

"Isn't it lovely today?" she said, smiling at him reassuringly, telling him everything was going to be OK and watched as Jack grinned back with relief.

"You've cheered up," he said happily.

"Yes. I have," she said as her heart fell slightly. Now she was better she'd have to go back to the SGC. Oh God, what would she say? She'd become depressed again instantly. How could she tell them?

"Sam? You OK?" He said anxiously, "You look kinda distant."

"Yeah I'm fine," she lied.

Jack's forehead creased into a worried frown again. He knew she wasn't OK anymore and hoped it wasn't something he'd said! "Right, I'm going to get changed. Do what you like. Watch some T.V, read a book even though I haven't got that many..."

"I think I'll just sit here thanks." She said gently as Jack got up and went for a shower and change his clothes. She sat out in the sun on the deck chair and thought about what she was going to do with her life.

"Sam, you're 36. You're not married or having any kind of relationship except one that has to be a secret... wait, that doesn't even count as a relationship because it isn't... and you can't have kids. You hardly ever see your family and you probably don't have the guts to start your own." She sighed. The only thing she had was her job. She realised then that with that job came a bunch of great friends. There was Daniel, kind, loyal, friendly and optimistic. Those words summed him up. Then there was Teal'c strong, brave and dependable. Janet was her best friend and was really trustworthy and also quite a laugh. Then of course there was Jack. There were thousands of words to describe Jack.

She stared down the lawn. Behind the back fence she could here a child laughing. She could imagine it being Hannah. She could imagine chasing her and tickling her as the little girl giggled. She could imagine having a family with Jack so vividly sometimes that now it was heartbreaking to think it would never happen except in another reality.

She felt herself crying again, "Oh dammit, Sam! Stop bawling like a baby!" The word 'baby' was enough to start her up again. She wiped her eyes, "It's not that tragic!"

"Sam?" she turned to see Jack. He stood there dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt. He looked at her apprehensively, "You know talking to yourself is a sign of madness, don't you?"

She felt herself shudder down her spine, as a breeze swept across the yard. She turned away from him as she felt the misery sweep over her again. He put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm alone. I've always been alone," she sobbed as he crouched down next to her chair.

He wanted to say something like 'you won't be alone I'll look after you', but he knew that it would be an empty promise. He couldn't look after her. He was letting her down.

"Shh. You're gonna be OK." He whispered as he held her, rocking her backwards and forwards slightly. Jack didn't have a clue what to say. He couldn't even comprehend her loss. He'd never had to deal with Sam like this before. She'd suddenly changed before his eyes from the bright, cheery woman who chatted and flirted with him, into this depressed creature that couldn't stop weeping. He didn't blame her for crying, a family was everything she'd ever aspired for, but her transformation was frightening.

At least he'd had a chance at having a family. Sam had put it off and now she couldn't. Jack wished there was something he could do, but there wasn't... or was there? Wasn't he doing what he could now? He was supporting her and being a good friend, well he thought he was. He was looking after her when she was in trouble. He was listening to her problems and trying to help her get through them. He was doing everything he could for her, but like everyone else who faced the same dilemmas he wished he could do more to help.

They sat there, Jack holding Sam tightly as she clung to him, sobbing into his chest. They must have been there unmoving for about ten minutes, until the phone rang. Jack had every intention of letting it ring, but Sam pulled away, "You better get it."

He got up and, cursing the damn phone to hell in as many ways as he could, picked it up.

"Jack O'Neill. Who is this?" He would have to change the way he spoke on the phone. It was like he was conducting an interrogation!

"Colonel," it was General Hammond. Dammit! "I was wondering if you and Major Carter would be joining us today?"

He looked over at Sam. She really didn't look that good. "I'll come, but Carter really doesn't look too good."

"Well until I get a reasonable explanation, you both have to be here on the hour, Colonel."

"But, General...!"

"No buts Colonel! Until Major Carter can tell me why she's not here I can't authorise her anymore time off!"

"Yes, Sir," said Jack grudgingly.

"Colonel, I want you and Major Carter here within the hour. Is that understood?"

"Yes Sir," Jack muttered as he put the receiver down.

He looked at Sam apologetically. She was already on her feet. She smiled weakly as she walked upstairs to get changed again. Jack followed her up the stairs and went into his room to do the same.

As he came downstairs again, he found Sam all kitted up and ready to go. She looked dreadful even though Jack knew that was an understatement. She probably felt just as bad. She'd obviously started crying again as her eyes were red from rubbing them with tissues. Her pale blue eyes seemed like icy cold caverns, like the one they'd been trapped in, in Antarctica. Her hair was dishevelled and her face thin and sickly. It was frightening to see the usually bright eyed and bushy tailed Carter so dreary and detached.

"You ready to go?" He smiled as she walked to the door. He opened it and helped her into the truck. He gave her her bag that she placed on her knees. She always looked small in her air force uniform because they were made for men to wear and they didn't come in small sizes, but today she looked even smaller than usual.

He jumped into his seat and started the engine. He pulled out of his driveway and began to drive down the street. He glanced at her to see her staring at her hands in her lap. Jack felt angry with himself for not insisting with the General to let her stay at home. He spoke, "I'm sorry, I should have told Hammond that you weren't coming in at all."

"You couldn't do that. You know you couldn't. Besides I've got to face up to everyone sometime," she stared out of the window, "And I want to see Hannah before she leaves."

Jack looked over at her, she was going to find it so hard to tell everyone and probably even harder to let Hannah go. He turned his eyes back to the road.

They spent the rest of the journey in silence. When they reached the SGC, Sam sighed. She opened her door her face looked determined. Jack locked the truck as they walked through the security and into the lift. As the lift dropped downwards through the underground levels Sam couldn't help wondering whether she would work for the next few years and then retire and be alone and die an eccentric old spinster. Then she had the same old visions of her and Jack. She turned to look at him. His eyes were staring at the descending floor dial. She knew he was thinking. She'd grown accustom to the things he did.

As the doors open she felt a wave of nausea take her. She was so nervous. She stared down the corridor as General Hammond turned the corner and began walking towards them.

"You're gonna be fine," Jack whispered as General Hammond stood in front of them.

When General Hammond saw Sam, Jack swore he could see shock, worry and regret in his eyes. The murmured, "Major Carter. I'm glad you came." He turned to Jack who was trying with all his might to give him a look that said, 'Happy now!'.

The General almost flinched under the fiery glare Colonel O'Neill had thrown at him. He averted his eyes from the Colonel as he spoke, "I need you both in the briefing room at 1000hrs."

"Yes Sir," they both murmured in unison.

They walked down the hall towards the Infirmary they heard the familiar yells, "I am not using a wheelchair!"

"Jack, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you."

"No! I am not using a goddamn wheelchair. I'm not that old!"

"As your wife and your Doctor, Jack, I'm ordering you to use this wheelchair."

"On a snowy day in Hell! No way am I going to use that!"

They walked in on them, Sam attempting to get Jack into wheelchair. He was glaring at her. She was smiling. She knew he'd do it. He never couldn't say no to her for too long.

"Please Baby," she said as she pushed her bottom lip out slightly and fixed him unblinkingly in her blue gaze.

"Aww c'mon, Sam! Not the puppy dog eyes." Her eyes remained fixed with his as she knew she was winning. Jack felt a smile creeping up his face, "That's not fair and you know it!" He said a smile firmly placed on his lips. He lent on her shoulder as she lowered him into the wheelchair. She smiled at him lovingly. She turned to the new visitors. She grinned as Jack tried to turn in his wheelchair and almost toppled it over.

"Hey, so that's the other you!" he said smiling at the Air Force officer standing in front of him.

She spoke with a small smile as she held out her hand, "Major Samantha Carter." He shook her hand and looked quite surprised, but didn't voice his opinion.

"Pleased to meet you! I'm Jack, but it's probably... uh... Colonel O'Neill to you and this..." he signalled Sam, "...is the Wicked Witch of the West!"

"I'm not that bad!" she grinned as he turned to her grinning cheekily.

"Nah. You're much worse!" she glared at him, "You seen the Munchkin about anywhere?"

"She was with Daniel and Teal'c in the Commissary," she said picking up Jack's jacket and went to place it around his shoulders. He shook her off and tried to put it on himself and ended up tangled up in the jacket. "Honestly!" she turned to Sam, who smiled back knowingly, "Jack, you are too stubborn for your own good! And you wonder where Hannah gets it from!"

He just grinned sheepishly. He then retorted, "Hasn't someone just dropped a house on your sister?" Sam laughed gently, as Jack turned to their spectators, "Well I dunno about you guys, but we're headed for the Commissary," he said as he finally gave in and let Sam help him with his stupid jacket.

The other Jack turned to his 2IC, "Carter? How about it?"

"Sure. I could use some coffee."

As they left Sam wheeled Jack out of the room. They watched the two air force officers striding before them. They were talking in undertones, but Jack could see the worried expression on his 'twin's' face.

"Well this is weird!" Jack muttered to Sam as she wheeled him around a corner, "We're not together. I couldn't imagine that." He grabbed her hand on the back of the chair. She smiled as he looked up into her face.

"Do you think they'll get together?" said Sam making it sound like a game, "I mean they must love each other, right?"

"Well... yeah. I reckon its just regulations holding them back. I mean that stuff Daniel told us about the locker room thing kind of proves it. She's looks an absolute wreck this morning. Makes you wonder what she was so upset about."

"Yeah. Hannah told me something about the other night when she stayed with them. They went to the park and from what she told me about it I wouldn't be very surprised if they get married tomorrow. Then again, I might be being a bit biased!"

They entered the Commissary. Daniel sat with Hannah on his lap as she sipped milk through a straw. Daniel's animated conversation with Teal'c was cut short when he saw them enter. "Sam?" Daniel gawped at her for a second taking in her appearance with a small gulp of fear and then continued as the little girl climbed down and ran to her parents, "How are you?"

"Much better, but I need to tell everyone something later," she said forcing a small smile. She tried to look better, but it wasn't working. She walked up to get the coffee with Jack.

"You gonna be OK?" he said as he picked a polystyrene cup and poured the coffee into it.

"Yeah. I'm gonna do great!" she said optimistically, but her eyes still disagreed, especially when they fell on Hannah cuddling her Mommy and Daddy at the other side of the Commissary. She looked at her watch. They had fifteen minutes.

Å

They entered the debriefing room to see Dr. Fraiser and General Hammond sitting at the table. Sam felt her heart stop. Had she told him? Janet noticed the look of shock in Sam's eyes and immediately shook her head and mouthed, 'I haven't said anything.'

She watched Sam let out a long breath. She looked terrible! Worse than she had all week! She looked awfully gaunt and not to mention her hair was messy and her eyes blood shot with red marks beneath them. Janet began to seriously worry about her friend's conditions when General Hammond spoke.

"SG-1, please sit down. You too, Colonel O'Neill. Dr. O'Neill." He said nodding to the couple that now sat at the table, "Doctor Fraiser?"

"Sam, can I have your permission to tell them?" Sam looked at Janet and then glanced at Jack sat beside her protectively. This would be easier than having to tell them herself. She nodded her jaw clenched determinedly.

Janet cleared her throat and began to speak, "During the mission to P4X 931, I was told that SG-1 ran into some form of radiation. From what I was told the planet was uninhabited by any form of life, but they found skeletons. I believe that the device emitting the radiation was the cause."

"Would you care to explain, Doctor? What does any of this have to do with Major Carter?"

"When they came back through the Gate and were checked for damage from the radiation, I found the reason why there was no life on P4X 931." She breathed in deeply as she met Sam's eye. She was shivering slightly. She wondered if anyone else had noticed.

She continued, "Major Carter was the only member of SG-1 to have been damaged in any way. She asked me to withhold the information and now with her permission I would like to show you her x-rays."

Sam nodded. "Go ahead Janet," her voice was small, shaky and barely audible.

She placed the x-rays on the light board. They were both x-rays of a woman's sexual organs and both looked extremely different. The one on the left looked normal and healthy the one on the right was the exact opposite.

"This was Sam in an x-ray before the mission and this was Sam after she came back from P4X 931."

"What are you saying, Doctor?"

"The people on the planet were prevented from reproduction, but only the women causing them to just die out," they all stared at Sam, "Major Carter can't have children."

Sam's eyes filled with tears. She looked at everyone staring at her, expressions from shock to horror, sympathy to realisation and laughed bitterly, "Come on. It's not that tragic!" her voice broke part way through the words.

"Continue Doctor."

"I have tried different kinds of therapy to repair her organ, but nothing has worked. I believe... it's been damaged irreparably." Janet sat down as Sam regained control. Everyone sat in an extremely uncomfortable silence for at least a minute no one wanting to be the one that broke the silence.

"Thank you, Doctor," General Hammond muttered quietly. He continued, "There is also the matter of getting you home," he said turning to the alternate Sam and Jack.

"Apophis has destroyed Washington and New York, he took over the planet and he tried to kill my family. We kicked his arse, Sir!"

"Now Apophis is dead his Jaffa are probably fighting over control," Teal'c said to the General in his usual monotone, "But soon another Goa'uld will come to take over the ships. Their power will be increased greatly."

Jack turned to the O'Neill couple, "Who is the next most powerful Goa'uld in your reality?"

"Hathor," Colonel O'Neill replied angrily, "Recently she made an alliance with the Goa'uld, Heru'ur. That bitch has been on our tails since we destroyed the new battleship she was building by flying it into an asteroid. As you can probably guess, that pissed her off! As for Heru'ur he's not too fond of us either."

"Why?"

"Let's just say he's not too fond of being covered in Beef Stroganoff MREs!"

Jack snorted, but then cleared his throat as his CO fixed him with a disapproving look. Teal'c then spoke, "A very powerful and profitable alliance, but I believe that one of them will kill the other eventually. The Goa'uld desire power above everything else."

"I agree with Teal'c," Colonel O'Neill said, "General, I request that a few SG teams go through the mirror to kill Hathor and Heru'ur," he paused, "Again."

"I was going to suggest the exact same thing," said the General, "SG-3 and SG-7 will leave through the mirror with SG-1, tomorrow at 0800 hours. Dismis..."

"Wait a second, General. There's something else I need to ask," Colonel O'Neill wheeled his wheelchair forward slightly as he spoke, "We heard some Jaffa talking. They've got Teal'c prisoner and they're torturing him. I know that Sam and me won't be able to come along... tropical cascade thingee... but please help him. We've already lost Daniel and though we're not certain, we might have also have lost Janet, Cassie and well... you, Sir."

General Hammond nodded, slightly surprised, "I will make Teal'c's rescue another priority on the mission."

Jack nodded a look of unfathomable gratitude on his face, "Thank you, General."

"OK. Now that's settled, you are dismissed."

Carter got up quickly and left the room. Everyone stared around the table. Sam stood and held the handles of the wheelchair. She was taken aback. She couldn't imagine a world with out Jack and Hannah. She wheeled him out of the room and back to the Infirmary.

Å

Colonel O'Neill sped out of the room as he tried to escape Daniel. He knew Daniel well enough to know he'd want to talk to him right about no...

"Jack?"

Daniel had caught up with him as he tried to make a quick exit. He tried to speed up, but it didn't work.

"Jack!" he had to stop. He wasn't going deaf... just yet! Jack halted as Daniel jogged up beside him. His best friend stared at him, "When did you find out?"

"Yesterday. I found her in the locker room." Jack said as they continued to walk down the hallway.

"God. Poor Sam," said Daniel stunned. They walked into the lift.

"Where do you wanna go?" asked Jack trying to escape his most sensitive subject.

"I was going to my study. Level 23."

"I was going to find Carter. Level 23 is probably a good start."

Daniel heart filled up for Sam. She was like the sister he didn't have. All she'd ever wanted was to do the job she loved, fall in love, then get married and have children. She'd put it all back because of her career and now... she may never have the chance. He looked at Jack. Well you couldn't say she hadn't fallen in love, but then again you couldn't say she had. He was so confused! Sam and Jack were masters of disguise when it came to emotions. Jack more than Sam, but still they were the best at it.

The lift came to a halt as the doors opened. They stepped out.

"See you around, Daniel." Jack began to walk down the corridor to Sam's lab.

Jack looked in her lab and knocked on the door, but she wasn't there. He checked the locker room, her quarters and the Commissary. He checked the Infirmary. He checked with the guard she hadn't left the complex. He was running out of places to look.

He checked his watch. He'd been looking for her for almost two hours. A sickening worry hit him. Where was she?

Suddenly, Jack had a feeling and walked back the way he'd come. When he reached his quarters he opened the door slowly. The chink of light landed upon a woman sat in the corner of the room.

She was shaking quite severely, but she wasn't crying, just staring into space. She didn't even look up when Jack entered and switched on the bedside lamp with illuminated the room in a shaded light. He closed the door and perched on the edge of his bed watching her, wondering what he should do next.

She spoke suddenly her voice quiet as her arms encircled her knees and pulled them into her chest, "My Mom always used to say to me, 'Whatever you do with your life, never let the end of it catch up with you'." She gave a shuddery sigh and buried her head in her arms, "When I was a kid I never knew what she meant by it, but now I do."

Jack stared at her and murmured, "Listen to me. Your life isn't over; in fact it's just beginning. My Mom's always saying 'No matter how bad it all seems there is always a silver lining to the storm cloud' and, though it's one of the worst clichés known to man, she's always right."

She spoke muffled as she didn't look up from her position, "How do you know?"

He sighed and slid off the bed so he was sat opposite to her, "Because I found mine."

Her tear streaked face came into view as she stared at him confused. She pulled a hand over her eyes as she whispered, "What?"

Jack frowned slightly as he stared at his hands, "When Charlie died and Sara left it felt like the end of the world. That's why I was perfectly happy to go through the Gate on a suicide mission the first time." His frown lifted as he glanced at her, "After that life became liveable for a short while, knowing that I really did have friends and that an almost complete stranger was willing to save my life. But it soon became bad again because Kowolsky was with his family a lot of the time and Daniel was living on Abydos. It was still bad until I came to the SGC..."

"That was your silver lining?"

Jack continued to stare at his hands as a small smile curved his mouth, "No."

"Then what?" She whispered, desperate to find a way to live through this.

He looked up at her, as he said simply, "It was you."

She gawped at him and whispered, "Me?"

"You seem surprised."

She sniffed as she wiped her eye again, "I don't understand how I could change your life like that."

It was his turn to look surprised, "Easily, Carter. Knowing I had someone who cared about me, even if only as a friend, kept me going. Before Antarctica, I was still convinced no one could give a... damn if I lived or died. You single-handedly changed my mind and hardly anyone can do that."

She continued to stare at him shocked. Jack knew he was getting through to her. The only way to get her out of this dark void of depression, was to talk to her, otherwise she'd end up like he almost had.

He sat there across from her as she whispered, "So... me?"

He nodded with a small smile as he murmured, "Couldn't have gotten through without my Carter. All it took was one simple thing and you'd saved me."

"What?" Sam asked inquisitively, no longer feeling like crying.

He whispered still smiling gently, "In Antarctica, I thought you'd leave and that I would freeze to death alone, but I hardly cared as long as you got out alive. Then, you came back." He sighed, "Just like that, I realised that I wasn't as alone in the world as I'd thought. I realised my guardian angel would always be there watching my six and I was willing to watch hers for as long as I lived." He smiled at her as he pushed himself off the floor, "And now, my silver lining has a storm cloud all of her own. There has to be some irony there."

She sat unmoving as she stared at him, "What do I do?"

He stared at her sincerely as he replied, "Find your silver lining."

He turned to leave and reached the door when she whispered, "Jack?"

He swivelled around hoping he may have finally gotten through to her. She was stood by the wall staring at him with large, tear-filled eyes. She spoke her voice shaking, "You."

He smiled happily and strode over to her pulling her into a tight hug as she let a small sob of relief. Jack sighed quietly as he rested his chin on her head, "I was hoping you'd say that."

ÅÅÅ

Yet more Author's notes: The final part of this story is mainly in note form at the moment so may take a while to make its way onto here. I'm currently trying to juggle my LONG school day with homework, chores and this so, bare with me! Thanks for reading Part Two and please please PLEASE review! It honestly makes my day when you guys give me reviews!

Copyright © Sam I Am 2004