A/N: From now on, I'm gonna call Spongebob and Patrick SB and Pat. Sorry,
you just get tired of typing out the main character's names after a while :-
s
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(SB and Pat are driving the van away from the resturant. They both look
upset.)
Pat: I can't believe it....
SB: Life's a fragile thing Patrick. One minute your munching on a juicy Krabby Patty, next your sushi. Of coarce, you and I never have to worry about becoming sushi.
Patrick: uh, I dunno Spongebob. When those japenese people get hungry, they'll eat anything.
( A doctor at the resturant pulls a sheet over Butch's dead body. Two investigaters are talking to each other.)
Dt.Dale: You mean he was poisoned?
Cop: Definatley,we found these by the body. *holds up the black container,now in an plastic evidence bag.*
Dt.Dale: hmm. Well, did you find out where they were going?
Cop: Um, they've been recently spotted on the highway heading towards the Atlantic.
Dt Dale: *smiles* Good, did you get a make on the vehicle?
Cop: Yes, *checks his clipboard.* They're driving and 84,uh, goldfish.
*Dt. Dale looks confused*
(the Fish Van is driving down the highway. its night now.)
Pat: *yawns* hey what do you say we cash in for the night?
SB: *shakes head* Sorry Patrick, We don't have enough dough to get a hotel room.
Pat: *a little annoyed* What? what did you waste it on this time? It better not be another pet rock.
SB: Nope, the one I bought seems to be doing fine. *he pets a large rock with a swirl drawn on the back of it like a shell and a happy face. He kisses it.* Goodnight Gary II. *sets it back down*
Pat: So what did you buy?
SB: I picked up Mr.Chili Pepper's tab. Figured it was the least we could do for deep frying him.
Pat: A burger brought us over budget?
SB: Yeah, the pig ordered a double bacon and a chocolate shake.
Pat: *sighs* Great...Now what do we do?
SB: Well, we only got about 15 hours of driving left,we can just take shifts.
Pat: Spongebob,you don't have a licence. And we both know how dangerous you can be behind the wheel.
SB: Don't worry Patrick, I'm not that bad. And look around, there's no cops around here.
Pat; Allright, but if we crash I'll know its a sign.
* The cops have made a blockage in the road with their boats.*
Dt.Dale: Any sign of them?
Cop: No sir, but they should be arriving any minute.
(Meanwhile,Mr.Krabbs is in his house with Pearl and Plainktin. They live in a big house in the Atlantic.)
Pearl: I just don't understand, I left the recipe and money right where they told me too.
Mr.Krabbs: don't worry dear, We'll get this all straightened out.
Plainktin: Yes,don't worry. We'll find whoever has the money sooner or later.
Mr.Krabbs: Ohh Plainktin, its so nice of ya to help us out with this. I'm so glad you aint after me recipe anymore and we can start bein' friends again.
Plainktin: Of cource, what are friends for? The only question is, if I'm not after the recipe,who is? *his shell phone rings.* hold that thought while I take this call. Why don't you make a list of other people it could be.
(he answers the phone and leaves the room and goes around the corner.)
Plainktin: Hello?...WHAT!? *looks back to make sure Mr.Krabbs and Pearl didn't hear him.* *in a quieter voice.* what do you mean he's dead?....Jesus Christ. Allright look, I want you back here now. If they're coming to the Atlantic, I'll need you here,Marley. *hangs up and returns to the livingroom.*
Pearl: Who was that, Plainktin?
Plainktin: uhh, It was the police...they found some more evidence...theres nothing to worry about.
Pearl: Oh.
(Pat is driving and SB is fast asleep in the passangers seat. Pat looks really tired. He has circles under his eyes and is starting to swirve the van, driving over a sign or two, a fence and the old lady SB had tripped before. She is crossing the street with her cane and Pat,too tired to notice her keeps driving sending her flying in the air where she does and awkward backflip and lands on her ass. She curses and shakes her cane at him as he speeds away. Finally he notices the tank is almost empty and takes and exit to a gas station.)
Pat: *shakes SB* Spongebob,..*SB keeps sleeping so Pat shakes him again* Spongebob!
Spongebob: *sleeping* The sea monkey pulled down my pants.....*snore*
Patrick:*frowns* SPONGEBOB!!!
SB: *jumps* Wha!? What? I'm up. What's going on?
Pat: Come on, I'll pump you pay.
SB: *sighs and climbs out of the van. He starts walking into the store grumbling* Who does he think he is....waking me up when I was having a nice dream....
Pat: *lifts the fin of the goldfish van,unscrews the lid and starts to fill the tank. A boat pulls up next to him and a beautiful athletic fish gets out. Patrick suddenly becomes awake. he notices a pair of skis in her boat.* Uhh....Skis, huh?
Athletic Beauty(AB): Thats right.
Pat: They yours?
AB: *confused* Uh huh
Pat: Both of 'em?
AB: Uh, Yeah.
Pat: *impressed* Cool.
(SB is taking a leak in a stall when he notices some grafitti scrawled into the wall. He squints to read it:
For a good time,be here on Sept.25 2:15 sharp.)
SB: Dahaha! *looks at his watch just as it turns from 2:14 to 2:15. He then mumbles the months while counting on his fingers* ....June...July...August...Sep*gasps*
(He hears the door swing open and heavy footsteps. He franticly locks the stall and sits on the toilet to hide his feet,biting his nails. the handle jiggles and then the door is kicked open by Sea-Bass. He looks surprised to see SB who just screams.)
(Pat is still talking to the AB)
Pat: Thats alot of luggage for one little trip.
AB: Oh,well I'm moving to the Atlantic. I gotta get away from my boyfriend he's such a klutz! *laughs*
pat: Uh huh huh huh! *as he laughs,he's spraying gas all over his leg.*
AB: Uh,Scuse me, but you're spraying everywhere.
Pat: Oh...whoops! *returns the nozle to the pump.*
(He leans on her review mirror, breaking it off and falling to the ground. He gets it up and hands it to her.)
Pat: H-here. Its a little loose.
AB: Oh,thanks. *puts a cig in her mouth.*
Pat: Wait.allow me. *pulls out some matches and lights it then throws match on the ground. We hear a dramatic Whoosh! as his hawian shorts egnight. Neither of them notice at first.* Hey...uh..I'm heading to the Atlantic myself. Maybe I could give you a call sometime.
(By this time Pat notices the flames and tries to stamp them out which just fans them and causes them to grow.)
AB: *hesitates* Sure why not? You seem harmless. Here,let me find a pen.
Pat: Why don't you just tell it to me? I have a good memory...mostley. *for a second,he seems to forget he is on fire as he stands blankley staring into space. He soon remembers and tries to stamp out the flames again.*
AB: K, well the number is 555-809...wait thats my old number. Isn't it funny how you....
Pat: FOR GODS SAKE JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN NUMBER!!!
AB: *annoyed* Listen, if your gonna get pushy,forget about it. *drives off*
(Sea-Bass is pushing SB to the floor in the stall. Meanwhile Pat comes in the washroom,his foot still on fire. He kicks the door open,knocking Sea- Bass out, and sticks his foot in the toilet. He notices SB in the corner who's pointing to Sea-Bass.)
Pat: What is it Spongebob? *turns around* Oh,Jesus!
*goldfish van zooms past on the highway. Its still night.*
*inside the van*
SB: Look Patrick, I told you what happend. Just drop it.
Pat: Ok...I will. I've forgotten already. What was so funny again?.....Oh ya! you and the 6 foot trucker...Uh huh huh huh!
SB: SHUT UP, PATRICK!!!
Pat: Ok ok......*is clearly thinking hard untill he remembers again.* .....Uh huh huh huh huh!
SB: *steaming mad* Grrrr!
Pat: *yawning* Hey Spongebob, you wanna take the wheel? I've been driving for 9 hours straight.
SB: Yeah,ok. Pull into that station, we can switch there.
Pat: I'm surprised you even wanna look at another gas station.
SB: If you say one more word,one more!
(They pull into another station. Spongebob goes in and in a few minutes comes out carrying a soda and some chips. He stops to talk to a bunch of young thug-ish looking fish who are dringing slurshies.)
SB: Hey guys,Big Gulps eh?..Allright,...Well,see ya later.
A/N: Hehehe, this is one of my other fave parts. But I can sooo see Spongebob saying that lol
(Gets in the van.)
SB: Hey Patrick, I brought you some beef jer...*realises Pat is fast asleep. He shakes his head as he puts the van into park and starts to drive.* Some people just weren't cut out for life on the road.
*SB drives all night. At about 4:45, he comes to two exits. There's a sign in either direction reading: Atlantic ocean, 156 kl Indian ocean 8120 kl.
While pushing the snoring Patrick,who has mad a pillow of his soft sponge- like head,he takes the Indian ocean exit. He drives some more untill daylight. We see him trying to get the last few drops of coffee from his styrafoam cup. He then throws it at the still sleeping Patrick who wakes up,startled.)
SB: Morning Patrick. I was wondering when you were getting up.
Pat: *rubs his eyes* How long was I out.
SB: *yawning* Oh, about five hours.
Pat:(noticing the still dessert-like land.) Huh. I would have expected the Atlantic ocean to be a little icier than this.
SB: I was thinking the same thing.
(Pat is now sitting in the sand,half of his ass crack is hanging out of his hawaian shorts.)
SB: I'm a sponge Patrick,what do you expect. My head is made of air!
(Patrick keeps sulking and ignores him.)
SB: Come on,stop being such a baby! So we back tracked a tad.
Pat: *Getting to his feet.* A TAD?? *moving toward SB who backs up.* a TAD Spongebob?? You drove us a third of the way across the ocean in the WRONG DIRECTION!!! And then I wonder why everyone thinks I'M the dumb one! Now we don't have enough money to get to the Atlantic,we don't have enough money to get home,we don't have enough money to eat,we don't have enough money to sleep!
SB: Well sitting here whining about it isn't gonna get us anywhere. We're in a hole. We're just gonna have to dig our way out.
Pat: You're right Spongebob. *starts hitch hiking down the road*
SB: Where are you going?
Pat: Home! I'm walking home!
SB: *tears welling up in his eyes.* Oh,well pardon me MR.PERFECT!! I geuss I forgot that you never ever make a mistake. (sad music plays as they walk down the highway in the oposite direction)
A/N: *sniffle sniffle* Spongebob and Patrick... this has gotta be the saddest break up since the Spice girls. Or at least the original Dumb and Dumber. *tear tear* ; ( Don't worry, the ending is more original
Pat: I can't believe it....
SB: Life's a fragile thing Patrick. One minute your munching on a juicy Krabby Patty, next your sushi. Of coarce, you and I never have to worry about becoming sushi.
Patrick: uh, I dunno Spongebob. When those japenese people get hungry, they'll eat anything.
( A doctor at the resturant pulls a sheet over Butch's dead body. Two investigaters are talking to each other.)
Dt.Dale: You mean he was poisoned?
Cop: Definatley,we found these by the body. *holds up the black container,now in an plastic evidence bag.*
Dt.Dale: hmm. Well, did you find out where they were going?
Cop: Um, they've been recently spotted on the highway heading towards the Atlantic.
Dt Dale: *smiles* Good, did you get a make on the vehicle?
Cop: Yes, *checks his clipboard.* They're driving and 84,uh, goldfish.
*Dt. Dale looks confused*
(the Fish Van is driving down the highway. its night now.)
Pat: *yawns* hey what do you say we cash in for the night?
SB: *shakes head* Sorry Patrick, We don't have enough dough to get a hotel room.
Pat: *a little annoyed* What? what did you waste it on this time? It better not be another pet rock.
SB: Nope, the one I bought seems to be doing fine. *he pets a large rock with a swirl drawn on the back of it like a shell and a happy face. He kisses it.* Goodnight Gary II. *sets it back down*
Pat: So what did you buy?
SB: I picked up Mr.Chili Pepper's tab. Figured it was the least we could do for deep frying him.
Pat: A burger brought us over budget?
SB: Yeah, the pig ordered a double bacon and a chocolate shake.
Pat: *sighs* Great...Now what do we do?
SB: Well, we only got about 15 hours of driving left,we can just take shifts.
Pat: Spongebob,you don't have a licence. And we both know how dangerous you can be behind the wheel.
SB: Don't worry Patrick, I'm not that bad. And look around, there's no cops around here.
Pat; Allright, but if we crash I'll know its a sign.
* The cops have made a blockage in the road with their boats.*
Dt.Dale: Any sign of them?
Cop: No sir, but they should be arriving any minute.
(Meanwhile,Mr.Krabbs is in his house with Pearl and Plainktin. They live in a big house in the Atlantic.)
Pearl: I just don't understand, I left the recipe and money right where they told me too.
Mr.Krabbs: don't worry dear, We'll get this all straightened out.
Plainktin: Yes,don't worry. We'll find whoever has the money sooner or later.
Mr.Krabbs: Ohh Plainktin, its so nice of ya to help us out with this. I'm so glad you aint after me recipe anymore and we can start bein' friends again.
Plainktin: Of cource, what are friends for? The only question is, if I'm not after the recipe,who is? *his shell phone rings.* hold that thought while I take this call. Why don't you make a list of other people it could be.
(he answers the phone and leaves the room and goes around the corner.)
Plainktin: Hello?...WHAT!? *looks back to make sure Mr.Krabbs and Pearl didn't hear him.* *in a quieter voice.* what do you mean he's dead?....Jesus Christ. Allright look, I want you back here now. If they're coming to the Atlantic, I'll need you here,Marley. *hangs up and returns to the livingroom.*
Pearl: Who was that, Plainktin?
Plainktin: uhh, It was the police...they found some more evidence...theres nothing to worry about.
Pearl: Oh.
(Pat is driving and SB is fast asleep in the passangers seat. Pat looks really tired. He has circles under his eyes and is starting to swirve the van, driving over a sign or two, a fence and the old lady SB had tripped before. She is crossing the street with her cane and Pat,too tired to notice her keeps driving sending her flying in the air where she does and awkward backflip and lands on her ass. She curses and shakes her cane at him as he speeds away. Finally he notices the tank is almost empty and takes and exit to a gas station.)
Pat: *shakes SB* Spongebob,..*SB keeps sleeping so Pat shakes him again* Spongebob!
Spongebob: *sleeping* The sea monkey pulled down my pants.....*snore*
Patrick:*frowns* SPONGEBOB!!!
SB: *jumps* Wha!? What? I'm up. What's going on?
Pat: Come on, I'll pump you pay.
SB: *sighs and climbs out of the van. He starts walking into the store grumbling* Who does he think he is....waking me up when I was having a nice dream....
Pat: *lifts the fin of the goldfish van,unscrews the lid and starts to fill the tank. A boat pulls up next to him and a beautiful athletic fish gets out. Patrick suddenly becomes awake. he notices a pair of skis in her boat.* Uhh....Skis, huh?
Athletic Beauty(AB): Thats right.
Pat: They yours?
AB: *confused* Uh huh
Pat: Both of 'em?
AB: Uh, Yeah.
Pat: *impressed* Cool.
(SB is taking a leak in a stall when he notices some grafitti scrawled into the wall. He squints to read it:
For a good time,be here on Sept.25 2:15 sharp.)
SB: Dahaha! *looks at his watch just as it turns from 2:14 to 2:15. He then mumbles the months while counting on his fingers* ....June...July...August...Sep*gasps*
(He hears the door swing open and heavy footsteps. He franticly locks the stall and sits on the toilet to hide his feet,biting his nails. the handle jiggles and then the door is kicked open by Sea-Bass. He looks surprised to see SB who just screams.)
(Pat is still talking to the AB)
Pat: Thats alot of luggage for one little trip.
AB: Oh,well I'm moving to the Atlantic. I gotta get away from my boyfriend he's such a klutz! *laughs*
pat: Uh huh huh huh! *as he laughs,he's spraying gas all over his leg.*
AB: Uh,Scuse me, but you're spraying everywhere.
Pat: Oh...whoops! *returns the nozle to the pump.*
(He leans on her review mirror, breaking it off and falling to the ground. He gets it up and hands it to her.)
Pat: H-here. Its a little loose.
AB: Oh,thanks. *puts a cig in her mouth.*
Pat: Wait.allow me. *pulls out some matches and lights it then throws match on the ground. We hear a dramatic Whoosh! as his hawian shorts egnight. Neither of them notice at first.* Hey...uh..I'm heading to the Atlantic myself. Maybe I could give you a call sometime.
(By this time Pat notices the flames and tries to stamp them out which just fans them and causes them to grow.)
AB: *hesitates* Sure why not? You seem harmless. Here,let me find a pen.
Pat: Why don't you just tell it to me? I have a good memory...mostley. *for a second,he seems to forget he is on fire as he stands blankley staring into space. He soon remembers and tries to stamp out the flames again.*
AB: K, well the number is 555-809...wait thats my old number. Isn't it funny how you....
Pat: FOR GODS SAKE JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN NUMBER!!!
AB: *annoyed* Listen, if your gonna get pushy,forget about it. *drives off*
(Sea-Bass is pushing SB to the floor in the stall. Meanwhile Pat comes in the washroom,his foot still on fire. He kicks the door open,knocking Sea- Bass out, and sticks his foot in the toilet. He notices SB in the corner who's pointing to Sea-Bass.)
Pat: What is it Spongebob? *turns around* Oh,Jesus!
*goldfish van zooms past on the highway. Its still night.*
*inside the van*
SB: Look Patrick, I told you what happend. Just drop it.
Pat: Ok...I will. I've forgotten already. What was so funny again?.....Oh ya! you and the 6 foot trucker...Uh huh huh huh!
SB: SHUT UP, PATRICK!!!
Pat: Ok ok......*is clearly thinking hard untill he remembers again.* .....Uh huh huh huh huh!
SB: *steaming mad* Grrrr!
Pat: *yawning* Hey Spongebob, you wanna take the wheel? I've been driving for 9 hours straight.
SB: Yeah,ok. Pull into that station, we can switch there.
Pat: I'm surprised you even wanna look at another gas station.
SB: If you say one more word,one more!
(They pull into another station. Spongebob goes in and in a few minutes comes out carrying a soda and some chips. He stops to talk to a bunch of young thug-ish looking fish who are dringing slurshies.)
SB: Hey guys,Big Gulps eh?..Allright,...Well,see ya later.
A/N: Hehehe, this is one of my other fave parts. But I can sooo see Spongebob saying that lol
(Gets in the van.)
SB: Hey Patrick, I brought you some beef jer...*realises Pat is fast asleep. He shakes his head as he puts the van into park and starts to drive.* Some people just weren't cut out for life on the road.
*SB drives all night. At about 4:45, he comes to two exits. There's a sign in either direction reading: Atlantic ocean, 156 kl Indian ocean 8120 kl.
While pushing the snoring Patrick,who has mad a pillow of his soft sponge- like head,he takes the Indian ocean exit. He drives some more untill daylight. We see him trying to get the last few drops of coffee from his styrafoam cup. He then throws it at the still sleeping Patrick who wakes up,startled.)
SB: Morning Patrick. I was wondering when you were getting up.
Pat: *rubs his eyes* How long was I out.
SB: *yawning* Oh, about five hours.
Pat:(noticing the still dessert-like land.) Huh. I would have expected the Atlantic ocean to be a little icier than this.
SB: I was thinking the same thing.
(Pat is now sitting in the sand,half of his ass crack is hanging out of his hawaian shorts.)
SB: I'm a sponge Patrick,what do you expect. My head is made of air!
(Patrick keeps sulking and ignores him.)
SB: Come on,stop being such a baby! So we back tracked a tad.
Pat: *Getting to his feet.* A TAD?? *moving toward SB who backs up.* a TAD Spongebob?? You drove us a third of the way across the ocean in the WRONG DIRECTION!!! And then I wonder why everyone thinks I'M the dumb one! Now we don't have enough money to get to the Atlantic,we don't have enough money to get home,we don't have enough money to eat,we don't have enough money to sleep!
SB: Well sitting here whining about it isn't gonna get us anywhere. We're in a hole. We're just gonna have to dig our way out.
Pat: You're right Spongebob. *starts hitch hiking down the road*
SB: Where are you going?
Pat: Home! I'm walking home!
SB: *tears welling up in his eyes.* Oh,well pardon me MR.PERFECT!! I geuss I forgot that you never ever make a mistake. (sad music plays as they walk down the highway in the oposite direction)
A/N: *sniffle sniffle* Spongebob and Patrick... this has gotta be the saddest break up since the Spice girls. Or at least the original Dumb and Dumber. *tear tear* ; ( Don't worry, the ending is more original
