My God, has it been 4 months?!? So sorry about the delay! I just couldn't seem to come up with any ideas…Writer's block strikes again! (And it's major blow is on Houses. I swear I'm working on it!) Anyway, it's like two in the morning, and I just wrote more than two-thirds of this chapter like just now. Enjoy!


Chapter Six--The Journal


Piper laid on her stomach on Leo's chest. She sighed and smiled. His eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn't sleeping. His hands moved from her sides to her waist and pulled her closer. The thin white sheet covering her body slipped down her back, but he didn't bother to pull it back up.

It had meant three days of lying and sneaking out of the house, but Piper had managed to keep Dan's suspicions low. She had snuck out of the house just hours earlier and made it to Leo's house. They had been sitting in silence for a few minutes when Piper asked a question that had been plaguing her for the past few days.

"Leo, why did we break up in the first place?" she asked suddenly, sitting up on her arms a little.

Leo's eyes opened and he stared at Piper. "…Little things, I guess…"

"…Little things…?"

"Differences that we didn't understand, you know?"

"I don't." Piper shook her head. "Tell me."

"Well…I think that back then…six years ago…I think we wanted different things…" Leo said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Piper asked as she rested her head on his chest again.

"I mean that…We wanted different things in a relationship. Things that we just couldn't give each other…Like, you wanted someone who would be around when you needed…With my job, I couldn't give you that…"

Piper nodded. "I remember. I wish could have been more understanding about that…"

"It was fair what you wanted, but there's no point in wishing we'd have done things differently now…I'm not going anywhere."

Piper smiled.

"I mean…We broke up not because we didn't want each other…but because we couldn't give each other what we wanted."

"That makes sense…Thank you."

There was silence.

"…It won't happen again, right?" Piper asked in a whisper, not looking up.

"What won't?"

"Our fighting…Us breaking up."

Leo sighed. "I don't know…This is difficult. We have so many things stopping us--"

"Not stopping us. Nothing will. Look at us now."

"I know…But Dan…and Ally…"

Piper was silent.

She wanted to scream.


Piper watched her daughter from the doorway. Ally was sleeping peacefully in her bed. Dan came up from behind Piper quietly and put his arms around her waist.

Piper jumped. His touch was familiar, but for some odd reason, she was surprised that he wasn't Leo. She closed her eyes and reminded her of who it was.

"Hey. What're you doing?"

"Watching her sleep," Piper replied quietly.

"For how long?"

"…A while…"

Then Dan asked a question that Piper wouldn't have expected. "How's Leo doing?" he said, turning Piper around to look at him.

The question made her take in a breath. He ran his hands down her arms to take her hands. She sighed.

"He's…been better. But he and Melissa are spending more time together and are working through it."

"Yeah. I see you guys talking a lot."

"Yeah…He really just needs me as a friend right now, of all times."

"I get that."

Piper smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad you do."


That night, at P3, Piper sat on her desk in her office, leaning against the wall. She rested her feet on the edge of the desk. She hid her head in her hands. She had been thinking all day about her situation with Leo. She knew that he loved her, and that she loved him. But she had a family. A daughter. She had devoted herself to her wedding vows.

And then she had broken them.

And it was so wrong.

But it felt so right.

She wondered if Leo could help her. For three days, she had snuck out of the house, lied to Dan and Ally, and ran off to see Leo. Looking at it now, it all seemed selfish and foolish and wrong.

But it was so right.

Piper sighed. She had a split second thought that she should cut everything off with Leo. That she should devote herself to her husband and child and never speak of her affair with Leo again.

But when that thought crossed her mind, she felt a sharp pain in her heart. She knew that would never happen. She loved Leo. She loved him like…well…like she loved her husband.

God damn it.

Why did everything have to be so hard?

A tear slowly made its way down Piper's cheek. She jumped when the door opened, but looked back at her feet when she saw that it was Leo. He saw the tear on her cheek and made his way slowly up to her. She was crying silently, and he stood in front of her quietly.

Piper looked up to stare into Leo's eyes for a moment. She sobbed and moved forward. She sat on the edge of the desk and he welcomed her body into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't know if I can do this, Leo," Piper sobbed quietly.

"I know."

"But I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," was all Leo could say.

"But I love my family," Piper said, pulling away. "I love my husband…and I love my daughter so much. I don't want to hurt them."

"I know…"

"But I don't want to hurt you, either, Leo. I love you with all my heart, and I would never want to hurt you…"

Leo was silent. He waited for her to continue.

"That's why…why I cannot tell Dan about us."

Leo nearly breathed a sigh of relief, but held it in and waited.

"I cannot tell him. If he finds out…" Piper shook her head. "Never mind. We just can't let him. No one can know."

"No one," he echoed, nodding.

"Good."

There was a break of silence between them.

Piper suddenly moved forward and kissed Leo. She rested one hand on his cheek and felt his hand on her waist.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you, too." Piper smiled to herself. "I just have to get back to work, okay?"

"Okay."

Piper kissed Leo one last time before sliding off of the desk. She turned for the door and took a step. She turned around to face Leo and took his hand.

"Do me one favor?"

"Anything," he swore.

"Spend the night with Melissa. I'll see you tomorrow."

He could barely nod.


Melissa opened her door quietly. Her features softened when she saw Leo. She opened the door a little wider and let him inside.

Leo turned around to see his sister's tearstained face. He looked at her with concern. "Melissa?"

"I have to show you something."

Leo followed Melissa upstairs and to Elizabeth's door. Melissa opened it and stepped inside, but Leo hesitated. After a couple of seconds, he took a step inside. Memories and flashbacks flooded his mind, but he somehow managed to push them aside and watch Melissa go to Elizabeth's desk. She pulled out a notebook.

"Kinda…simple, but it fits Elizabeth's profile to use a Mead Five Star notebook as a diary."

Leo smiled. "Let me see."

Melissa handed the notebook to Leo. They sat on their sister's bed and Leo opened up the journal. On the very first page was a drawing of three wolves howling in a field under the moon.

"She was always a good artist."

"Are you kidding? She was the next da Vinci…" Melissa muttered. They both smiled. "Turn the page."

Leo did what Melissa said and read a couple of journal entries...

January 2, 2003
Goddamn that brother of mine! He got me so freaking drunk last night I couldn't believe it! Even his girlfriend drank as much as us. His New Year's parties are always so fun. I gotta say--or write, really--though, the funniest parts of the night (and early morning) were after Marie (Leo's girlfriend, remember? I think I wrote that somewhere in a Christmas entry.) got drunk. Everything she did--every move she made--was flirtatious. She kept hitting on Leo. It got disgusting.
Hmm…I hope Melissa gets married soon. Then she can move away, and the house will be mind, all mine! Actually, now that I think about it, she'd probably kick me out…Damn…Maybe I could live with Leo…? He'd probably kick me out and move Marie in…

January 12, 2003
Melissa stole my dress and broke the strap. Leo went into Dad-mode when he saw my boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I was an only child.
But I really don't.
I love my brother and sister. I mean, think about it. Melissa gave me the chance to get a new strapless dress free-of-charge. Thanks to Leo, I'm single again and I can hit on the neighbor once more! Woo hoo!

They sat there for a couple of hours, reading some of Elizabeth's secrets and desires, wants and needs, angers and joys. Some of the pages in the notebook were artwork, some were all scribbled out. Sometimes she wrote in cursive, sometimes in print. She wrote about her and Melissa's boyfriends and Leo's girlfriends. She wrote about how she missed her parents, about how she wondered if things would be different if they were alive. She wrote about her hopes and dreams.

Some of them never came true.