Hate Everything About You

Summary: Lily Evans is convinced that James Potter is bad down to the core. What happens when she realises that this isn't true?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of J. K. Rowling's characters, locations, or other such ideas. Basically, I own Mandy, Amber, and other random characters in the story.

Chapter Five: Summer Part I

"Lily, it's dinner time!" Mrs. Evans called.

Lily looked at her watch. 8:00 PM. Shocked, she said to herself, "Wow, I've been listening to music for a long time and still haven't gone through all of my records! Scary."

She bounded down the stairs to the kitchen after stopping the record player. At the table, Lily's parents were waiting patiently. They positively beamed when they saw Lily coming down, with a hint of relief in their expressions. 'What, were they scared I wouldn't come down or something?' Lily thought. She quickly realised that of course they would be, since they'd practically lost one of their daughters already.

"Sit down, Lil," her dad said, waving towards the chair beside him.

Once Lily was comfortably seated, they started eating and talking. Talking about everything – mostly Lily's school life and her friends. She carefully avoided a certain topic she wasn't keen on discussing, but all her attempts were in vain.

"So, what about that boy who gives you a hard time? Jason Potter?" Mum said. 'Why does she just HAPPEN to be psychic, but in the wrong way?' Lily asked herself, groaning inwardly.

"Er – it's James. James Potter," Lily corrected. It sounded so weird – even unnatural – to say his first name. "What do you mean what about him?"

"Is he still giving you a hard time?"

"Oh," said Lily, relieved. She'd been dreading she might ask something more specific. "Of course he is. Immature, conceited, stupid boys like him never grow up. Ever."

"Now Lily, don't say that," her dad said, then joked, "Even I got over that stage!"

Everyone laughed. Another topic was brought up, and dinner went on. Lily was safe.

About halfway through dessert, Mrs. Evans sighed.

"What's the matter, Mum?" Lily asked.

She looked up at Lily apologetically. "I know how much this will bother you, but tomorrow Petty's coming over for tea. Then she and I are going to be planning the wedding for awhile."

'Oh no, Petunia coming for tea? Great...' Lily forced a smile. "It's fine, Mum, I don't mind," she said, then continued earnestly, "At least Dursley won't be here." She puffed out her cheeks and stretched out her arms in imitation of his, well... weight problem.

Her dad couldn't help but let out a laugh, despite his efforts to conceal it, and her mum had a smile playing on her lips before continuing seriously, "Now Lily, we can't poke fun at other people's sizes, even if it's Vernon we're talking about. He IS going to be here, though, Lily. Come on, dear, don't put on a face. We've already told you that we don't like him that much either, but as long as Petty's happy..."

"Oh, whatever, he can come. I don't mind. We've told him I'm a witch, but he still doesn't know I can't use magic over the summer." Lily grinned, imagining him running (more like waddling) away, scared that she'd turn him into a toad. She still wasn't thrilled about him visiting, but she wouldn't let her parents know that.

"Alright, well, if you're sure..." Mr. Evans said uncertainly. "I mean, you could always go to the cinema for a bit. Maybe we could go together, seeing as I'm not needed in the planning of the wedding!"

Mrs. Evans gave him a disapproving look. "Now Daniel, you know that you'll have to be here. Vernon will have nobody to discuss cars and business with; don't you think he'd feel lonely?"

Mr. Evans gave a small, defeated smile to Lily. "Oh, codswallop, I thought I might be able to get away with it!" he joked.

The next day, Lily was in her room, talking on the phone to Mandy.

"... and if he says you're a freak, you can tell him a bunch of ways that being a witch is a good thing!" Mandy was saying to comfort Lily, who'd been brooding about Petunia and Vernon's arrival in fifteen minutes. "Don't forget to mention that you're capable of magicking some muscle into him!"

"Or some fat cells out," Lily joked. "But still, it won't work Mandy. Once they start thinking I'm a freak, they won't stop. Just like how I can't possibly NOT hate James. Except at least I hate him for a reason."

"Lily, you can't let them get to you, okay? You're strong, and the smartest witch I know! If they're too dumb to accept that, whose problem is that? Not yours." Mandy had known Lily and her family problems long enough to not even care that she was calling them dumb – Lily had already told her not to bother with forced politeness.

"They don't bother me THAT much, just it drives Mum and Dad crazy. It gets annoying after awhile, too."

"Are you sure Lily? 'Cause you probably wouldn't be making such a big deal out of it if it was just that..."

"Alright, fine, they do bother me. It's just kind of frustrating, knowing that I'm discriminated against in both worlds, that I'll still be shunned no matter where I am. Muggles think I'm a freak for being what I am, wizards think I'm a no-good piece of scum for being what I am. It's a lose-lose situation."

"What?" Mandy said with disbelief. "Now Snape and his name-calling is getting to you too? Why did you tell me before that you didn't care about what he said? Lils, I thought we were best friends – we never keep anything from each other, much less tell each other lies," Mandy concluded, the hurt evident in her voice.

Lily sighed. "Mandy, it's not you! It's me, I guess. I'm too busy trying to be strong and to hide my emotions when something bothers me to pay attention to how I really feel."

"Oh, so I suppose there's something else you've lied to me about? Are you still mad that I accidentally killed your pet toad? You KNOW that was an accident, and that was second year!"

"Mandy, don't go frantic! Of course I'm not mad at you for Warts! He was kind of stupid anyway. And – and a little slimy, in his own cute way. Come to think of it, he was pretty cute overall." Lily made her voice sound tearful.

"Oh, Lily! I'm soo sorry, I had no idea you still felt bad about him! I really really really didn't mean to throw him out the window! I mean – drop him! I DIDN'T THROW HIM! SERIOUSLY! He just slipped out of my hand, I swear!"

Lily was in fits of laughter. "You seriously – thought I still – cared about my – deceased pet – who I – owned three and a half years ago?" she said, between hiccoughs and giggles.

Mandy found herself laughing too. "Lily! You're so cruel, making me believe you were still sad about that whole incident! You know how guilty I can feel about these things!"

Grinning, Lily said, "Well, why else would I have said it? You're just too nice, Mandy, it drives me crazy!" Lily joked.

"Wait, you know how you said that you hide your emotions when something's bugging you to show you're strong?"

"I guess you could say that. Yeah, what about it?"

"I just had a thought that maybe..."

"What?"

"Do you fancy James Potter?"

Lily's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? Is that some kind of sick joke? I don't find the humour in it Mandy."

"No, I'm serious. Whenever he asks you out, you say no. When he talks to you or flirts with you, you're just cold towards him. Is that your way of hiding your emotions – your feelings for him – because you don't want people to think you're weak enough to fall for your enemy?"

"Mandy, listen. I do NOT like James Potter. I. Hate. Him. You're my best friend, you would know!"

"Well I'm your best friend and I didn't know that Petunia and Lard Tub were hurting you so bad! I didn't know about Snape hurting you, either."

"Look, Mandy, that's different. If Potter was affecting me at all, besides annoying me to death, it wouldn't be in a positive way. As in – I would NEVER find myself falling for him."

"So Potter does affect you? Does the fact that he asks you out all the time unsettle you? Does it make you feel worthless? Just another object of Potter's affection, and not worthy of having someone really love you?"

"I – I –" Lily began, speechless. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "I have to go. Petty and Lard Tub came ten minutes early. Maybe to tell me off for breathing or something. Owl me and we'll finish this discussion, because something isn't right about it. See you." Lily hung up without waiting for a reply, cursed under her breath, and slowly descended the stairs.

Tea was finally over. It had been long, boring, and full of Vernon's business ramble, which he was very enthusiastic about. He'd knocked over two cups full of tea in his fury directed towards unfair stocks (which he'd made Lily clean up, as she was stuck sitting beside him). After soaking what seemed to be two rolls of paper towel, the mess was finally clean, but the rest of the family had already proceeded into the living room, except her dad, who was cleaning up.

Lily sighed and went to join them. She hadn't really looked at the living room much, seeing as it wasn't a high-traffic area, so Lily was shocked with what she saw before her. All of the furniture had been moved away from the walls – the sofa, the TV, the china cabinet... everything. The walls had strips of tape all over the place, lining the edges, and were painted white as opposed to the previous butter yellow.

"Mum, what happened here?" Lily asked.

Mrs. Evans looked up at Lily from where she was sitting on the sofa, conversing quietly with Petunia. "Oh, your Dad and I decided to repaint the room, finally."

Comprehension dawned on Lily. That made sense! The furniture arrangement... the tape... the whitened walls. "What colour, then?"

"We decided on a deep red, to match the colour of the designs we painted on the china."

Lily grinned. "Wonderful! That's just like the colour of the Gryffindor common room at Hog... warts," she finished sadly, having noticed Petunia's piercing glare. She looked down and shuffled her feet a bit, waiting for someone to break the silence.

"So, Petty, what were you saying about the bridesmaids' dresses again?" Mrs. Evans said, as though nothing had happened. As much as Lily hated this fake ignorance, she knew it was the only way that her mum could keep Petunia under control.

Lily slowly turned around to head back to her room, but was tapped on the shoulder roughly. She turned again, and was slightly shocked to see Vernon standing there. His face was set with seriousness, and she could tell he was trying hard to keep his expression somewhat blank.

"Yes?" she half-whispered.

"Come," he said, waving toward the china cabinet. He dragged her behind it, close to the wall. When they reached their destination, he seemed to decide that concealing his expression didn't matter anymore, as he was scowling angrily.

"What do you want?" she said loudly.

"Quiet!" Vernon grabbed her arm. He looked around quickly to make sure they couldn't be seen or overheard before beginning a long lecture. "You are far too much trouble. Petunia and I have accepted you and your... abnormalities... hoping that you would NOT talk about it, EVER. You seem to take our patience for granted though, spreading word of your abnormal life, your abnormal qualities, your abnormal school. We are already uncomfortable enough, having to be in such close quarters with someone who has supernatural powers and no self-control. Will you not make it easier for us, and at least ACT normal? Or just less weird? That way, Petunia and I can rest at ease knowing that you are, mostly likely, not going to attack us in the night to turn us into toads."

Lily sputtered angrily. She didn't know where to begin. "But – but all I did was say the name of my house, and my school! What harm can that do? I didn't even say magi-"

Vernon jumped. He frantically smacked his hand over Lily's mouth to stop her from saying 'the word'. In jumping, though, Vernon's body managed to slam into the china cabinet, causing it to fall over into the middle of the room. Lily heard some very distinct smashes of porcelain.

Everyone stared at the cabinet in shock. "What just happened?" Mrs. Evans asked disbelievingly.

Vernon tuned to Lily. "YOU! Why did you push the whole cabinet over? You were furious, yes, but I think that is going a BIT TOO FAR."

Lily gaped as everyone turned to stare at her in shock. She was at a loss for words, but managed to muster a, "What? Me?"

"Lily, is this true?" her mum asked quietly.

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. "Of course not, Mum! I know how much you love your china. I – I even helped you paint the designs onto it!"

"If it meant so much to you, why did you knock it down?" Petunia asked, in a voice that was dangerously low.

"I didn't knock it down!" Lily choked. She turned on her heel and stomped into her room, just for show. When she finally got in, she closed her door and flung herself face-first onto her bed, where she lay crying in frustration.

Ten minutes later, when Lily had calmed down a bit, her mum came in to see her. She sat down on the bed beside Lily, who was hugging her knees, staring absent-mindedly at the wall, her face still tear-stained.

Mrs. Evans put her arm around Lily's shoulder. "Honey, I know you didn't knock down my china cabinet, but that's the only story we've been able to get out of Vernon. Anyway, your dad heard the crash and came to see what happened. He checked the damage, and most of it's pretty well garbage, except one little teacup which stayed in perfect condition. It was your cup, you know. The one you painted your name onto."

Lily smiled weakly, remembering the summer after third year when they'd painted teacups until their eyes and fingers had started to hurt.

"So Lily," her mum continued, "How did it really fall?"

"Oh, it was horrible," Lily wailed, burying her face in her mother's shoulder. "He was telling me off again, for being what I am, and for accidentally mentioning Hogwarts. He said I was someone with supernatural powers and no self-control and that I was an abnormal freak who could, at any moment, sneak into their house and turn them into frogs! And then – then when I told him all I did was mention Hogwarts and at least I didn't say magic, he jumped and knocked the cabinet over and it fell!" She started crying again at the injustice of being judged and scolded for something she hadn't intended on becoming, and the injustice of being blamed for something that she hadn't done at all.

Mrs. Evans turned toward Lily to hold her in her arms and rock her back and forth, consoling her like she would a three-year-old. Lily didn't care about how childish it was. She held tight to her mum, burying her face in her shoulder, letting her tears flow freely yet again. Not just for the china cabinet or Vernon's accusations this time, but for all of the injustice Lily had to go through. Vernon and Petunia thought she was a freak, and she couldn't tell anyone what she really was, not even her closest Muggle friends. People in the wizarding world hated her for what she was as well, treating her like a worthless nothing. And then there was Potter – why did he live to make her life miserable? What had Lily done wrong to deserve so much maltreatment? It seemed everyone but her parents and close friends was out to get her.

"Why me?" she moaned quietly.

"It'll all be better soon, Lil. You'll feel better soon."

Lily lifted her head a little. Her hair stuck to her wet cheeks, but she didn't move it out of the way. She snuggled closer to her mum, burying her face in her shoulder again. "I love you Mum," she whispered.

"I love you too, Lily."

A/N: Yay! Another chap done. Woaw, am I slow to update or what? Lucky it's March Break. Well, I'm not making any promises, but I think I can post another chap by the end of the week... the rest of Lily's summer and all. Nope, no more crying episodes. If you're confused as to why she cried so much, then... maybe I didn't show the Petunia/Vernon/Muggle-born-hater insults and meanness to her enough. smacks head cause she sucks at writing, hoping that the killing of brain cells may improve her intellect :P (lol if you didnt understand wat I just said, neither do I. :D)

Yeah, haha. I was overmentioning toads and injustice, did u notice:P was it really THAT bad? Meh, i didn't like this chapter too much... (yea and sry for the very unoriginal chapter title! oO;;)

gasp i was thinking of stopping writing my fic due to a bad case of recurring writer's block. But then i realised that I have wayyyyy too much fun writing and I have wayyyy too much planned out to back out now! so, you're stuck with me! nn

So yes, I shall now begin my thankyou's:

First there's always the thank you to PAMMI who is my wonderful editor of editorness. (you noticed Barf / Barfabas wasn't metioned, didn't you? Well he's like... somewhere. Not here anyways... and too busy to go on msn :P)

Okay now to thank my reviewers!

Pammyla: lol, kinda ironic that i already thanked u... fankoos for the hw wishingness! Cept there is no hw... :P whopsies.

Angelgurl161 and APES A LOT: yea, read the author's note at the beginning of last chap. I made the muggle world be in our time, so like muggle time freezes... iono, i dont member, just read the thing. Yea, cause its kinda crucial to the story.

FrEgOrGeLuVeR225: thankoos, hope u'll like this chap as well!

Saerider: thankoos! Sry, i pretty much MADE you wait to read this one. Haha, i'm slow :)

Limbo-gal: ooooh different? In wat way? Yus, i noticed my differentness of style of writing. Heheh, i just dunno how it's different :P

Sooo anyways... hope u enjoyed the chap, don't forget to review! ;)

((This chapter has been edited. Please note that some time-period-related errors have been removed, and please don't point these errors out to me anymore because… well, they're gone now! Thanks.))