.........................................Media Glare

I had to admit I liked the media attention, I liked reporters jostling each other to interview me when I emerged from the courthouse. I liked it as much as Johnny was unnerved by it. He didn't understand their fascination, but I did. He didn't understand that his trial, his life, was their entertainment.

He still got letters, dozens and dozens from girls and young women wanting to see him, wanting to marry him, wanting him to write them back.

"What do you do with the letters?" I had asked him one day during a court recess.

"Throw them away," he had said, and shrugged.

"Why?"

"Well," he said slowly, "it's not like they're really writing to me, just some idea they have of me,"

When he comes and goes to the courthouse the girls are there, and the avid trial watchers, and he ducks his head.

............................................Ponyboy's Testimony

Darrel and Sodapop watched nervously as Ponyboy made his way to the witness stand. He smiled at Johnny and Johnny gave him a wan little smile back.

His hair was still that garish blond Johnny had dyed it, but his roots were reddish brown.

"What did you do after Cherry and Marcia left with their boyfriends?"

"I went to the vacant lot with Johnny," he said, looking at me with his clear green eyes.

"And what did the two of you talk about?"

"Um, cars, and we talked about Cherry Valence a little..."

"Anything else?"

Ponyboy looked sharply at Johnny and then back at me.

"Well, Johnny said he wanted to kill himself,"

"Anything else?"

"Uh, we talked about being in the country,"

"Did Mr.Cade say he planned on killing Mr. Sheldon later that evening?"

"No,"

"So then what? You were talking in the vacant lot and...?"

"And we fell asleep. But Johnny woke me up around two in the morning and I went home,"

"Just you? Did Mr. Cade go home?"

"No,"

"Why not? That night was rather cold, wasn't it? Why would he want to stay outside?"

"Uh," Ponyboy looked around, sought out his brothers in the audience, "his parents didn't care if he came home or not,"

"O.K. So you went home and Mr. Cade stayed in the vacant lot. Then what?"

"When I went home my brother Darry was so mad cause I didn't come home on time and he, uh, he hit me. So I left. I was gonna run away,"

"Go on,"

"So I ran to the lot and woke up Johnny. I told him we were running away. But we decided just to go to the park with the fountain and cool down,"

"Did you expect to see Mr. Sheldon and his friends at this park?"

"No,"

"Why not?"

"Well, it was so late, and that park is on our side of the city,"

"Your side?"

"Yeah. The east side, the poor side. Socs had no reason to be that far east,"

"So why were they there?" I said.

"They were looking for us,"

.......................................CrossExam

"You want anything?" I said to Johnny during the recess. His forehead was nearly touching the table.

"Hey," I shook his shoulder lightly and he picked his head up. His eyes looked even bigger with all the weight he's lost.

"Huh? No. Nothing," He put his head down again, resting it on his forearm. He closed his eyes.

I headed out to pick up a coffee, shaking my head. He'd seemed pleased to see Two bit up on the stand but not Ponyboy. He's been more depressed and unresponsive than I've seen him in quite some time.

"Two creams, two sugars," I said to the man behind the counter. He wore white and a white apron, a white paper hat that covered his iron gray hair shot through with white. He handed me a styrofoam cup and I held it with two hands, feeling the warmth.

I'd snuck here, through the back door and down back alleys, needing fresh air but not the crowds of gawkers, reporters' questions, photographers' flashes.

I'd said Dallas was becoming my only constant but there was someone else as well. Mrs. Sheldon. Like Dallas she was at the courtroom everyday, sometimes with her husband, sometimes alone. Her eyes were red and wet from crying, and she'd stare at the witnesses with puzzled anger, and she'd stare at Johnny with narrowed eyes.

Back in the courtroom, Ponyboy back on the stand, it seemed all Johnny could do to keep his eyes open.

The prosecutor strutted, puffed out his chest like a peacock.

"Mr. Curtis, earlier that evening you had been talking with Miss Valence at the drive in theater, correct?"

"Yeah,"

"And you confided to her that Mr. Cade carried with him a 6 inch switchblade, is this correct?"

"Yeah,"

"And what did you say to Miss Valence on that night regarding what Mr. Cade would do if he were jumped again?"

Ponyboy looked at Johnny with a look so still, almost haunting, and he sighed, looked down at his hands.

"He'd kill the next person who jumped him,"