Hate Everything About You

Summary: Lily Evans is convinced that James Potter is bad down to the core. What happens when she realizes that this isn't true?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of J. K. Rowling's characters, locations, or other such ideas. Basically, I own Mandy, Amber, and other random characters in the story.

A/N: Okay... I know it's summer and I'm supposed to update faster, but still... I only have four hours a day or so on the computer (supposedly) so I can't sit here all day... and there's too many distractions. ( I'm such a failure, lol. Well, hope you forgive me for lateness once u read the chapter!


Chapter Nine – Sirius' Skivvies

James woke up with the sun shining through his half-drawn curtains. It was finally Saturday; two weeks after school had started. So far, those two weeks had been saturated with homework, homework, and more homework. The Marauders had been so busy that they'd had no time for anything else – not even for pranks. They hadn't merited themselves any detentions yet, either, which had to be a record for Sirius and James at the very least.

The messy-haired teen sat up against his pillow. He studied his sleeping dorm-mates, stifling a yawn. First he looked to his right. Sirius was sleeping sprawled out on his stomach, and James turned away quickly after identifying a seeping puddle on his pillow of what was most likely drool.

'Why do I ever bother looking in his direction if I know I'm going to turn away in disgust?' James thought, though smiling to himself.

Instead he turned his attention toward Remus, on his left. There wasn't anything particularly odd about Remus' sleeping position, but James was happy to see that he looked healthy. There were less than two weeks until the next full moon, though, and there was no doubt that he would start seeming a bit sickly in a matter of days.

James looked further to the left to see Peter's dark red curtains drawn tightly around his bed frame. He shrugged to himself and turned to put his glasses on. Suddenly, the world seemed much clearer. Opening his curtains in full, James stole a peek at Sirius again. 'So it is his drool,' he mused.

Checking his wristwatch, James discovered that it was past 10am already; time to start the day. He hauled himself out of bed, and, trying to ignore the cold that suddenly swept over him, made his way to the bathroom to take a shower.

Ten minutes later, James made his way down to the common room and immediately spotted a blotch of red amidst a sea of blonde, brown, and black. He made his way over to Lily, tapped her on the shoulder, and said happily, "Hello there, love!"

But the person who turned to look up at James wasn't Lily. It was a third year redhead who'd grown his hair long. The boy blinked up at James. "Excuse me?"

James himself had grown rather red in the face. "I- er- sorry, my- my mistake," he sputtered before turning away. He smacked himself hard on the head. 'What. An. Idiot. How could I mistake his ugly, messy, orange hair for Lily's beautiful red locks??' James thought to himself before setting out to find the REAL Lily.

Sure enough, he found her sitting with her friends, munching on some toast while completing a rather painstaking Charms essay. Deciding he didn't fancy enduring Lily's temper this early in the day, James sat himself in a chair close by, turning it so that his back was facing the girls. This way, he'd be able to silently take part in their conversation without them noticing he was there ('Not eavesdropping,' he told himself).

"Done," Lily breathed with satisfaction in her voice. The satisfaction soon turned to dismay. "But I have to write my Transfiguration essay now!"

Mandy groaned beside her. "You're that far already? I've still got Charms, Herbology, and Potions to do and I've only just finished Transfiguration!"

"Well, Herbology and Potions go by quickly, and Charms is easy – at least you've finished McGonagall's killer essay!"

"Transfiguration isn't THAT bad," Mandy argued. "You got an 'E' on your OWL, so how hard can one simple essay be?"

Lily scoffed. "Simple? Try two feet of 'agonizingly painful' and you might be relatively close to how hard it is... And I only scraped that 'E'. I would have felt lucky even to get an 'Acceptable' on the OWL," she added as an afterthought.

As James listened, he grinned at how cute Lily sounded when annoyed. And what was better was that the annoyance wasn't directed at him – for once.

It was at that moment that Maria Lovegood – a very pretty girl in the fifth year – chose to come and talk to James.

"Why, hello, James! Sitting in the common room alone?" she questioned.

James nodded and smiled. "Join me?"

"Oh – of course," Maria gushed, pulling up a chair beside him. After a few moments, she began to speak, though with a trace of nervousness in her voice. "J-James, there have been a lot of boys that I've had feelings for, but n-none so much as you. So – so I was wondering if you felt the same way?" she said quickly.

James thought it over. Maria was a rather nice girl – not to mention pretty – who he wouldn't mind dating. In fact, he hadn't had a good snog since sometime in early August, when he'd 'hooked up' with a girl at the Doris Pumpkin's Centre for Young Wizards, where he'd snuck into a rather uproarious teen dance. The only problem with Maria was that she had a loony for a brother – Eric Lovegood – who was a seventh year Ravenclaw. That would be alright, though – James would only have to put up with him for about a week, if at all.

"Sure, I'll go out with you," James said cheerfully, knowing full well that he hadn't answered her question. "Meet me in the Entrance Hall at 10:30 next Hogsmeade weekend?"

"Alright," she said, grinning shyly. "Well – I've got to go." With that, she ran off to tell all of her friends.

James sighed and turned around ever-so-slightly to 'check on' Lily. He was disappointed to see that she and her friends had left. Instead, he stood up to join Remus, who had just come down from the dormitories and was standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Sirius and Peter still fast asleep?" James asked as he reached his friend.

Remus smiled. "Like a pair of drooling logs."

James gave a small laugh. "Thought as much."

"The common room seems rather full – is it after 10?" Remus asked. He'd lost his wristwatch over the summer, and therefore had limited time sense.

"Yes, breakfast's already over. Let's head down to the kitchens to grab a bite, shall we?"

"Well – I don't know. I might skip breakfast and do my homework instead." But a growling noise heard from Remus' stomach gave him away.

James grinned. "Come on. Shall I get the Map?"

"Alright," Remus obliged. James knew how much he hated to procrastinate.

The two boys made it to the kitchens without incident fifteen minutes later. They always took the Marauders' Map with them when they went to the kitchens, just in case, since they weren't supposed to know where they were.

A doorknob appeared as James tickled the pear, and he quickly opened the door to let himself and Remus inside.

As soon as they closed the door, a small crowd of house elves came over to them, beaming. Some were still in the process of washing the dishes from breakfast. A few dirty plates still sat at the furthest table, not yet washed. Otherwise, all was clean – the house elves worked quickly.

"Did you miss breakfast, Mr. Potter?" said a house elf.

"Is Mr. Lupin feeling hungry?" asked another.

James grinned. "How about some breakfast, mates?"

Immediately, the two were ushered over to one of the long tables positioned directly under their counterparts in the Great Hall above. Soon, despite the fact that breakfast was over, plates of bacon, eggs, toast, and pancakes were brought their way.

They'd been eating for but five minutes when Sirius showed up, slipping off James' invisibility cloak. He didn't have as many house elves swarm him because most were tending to James and Remus' immense hunger, but quite a few went up to him nonetheless.

He shooed them a bit before coming to sit down across from James.

"I knew you were here," he said, grinning.

"We knew you would come here," Remus said in turn.

Sirius began wolfing down pancakes, having been given a plate.

"I see you're eating quite well, Moony," he acknowledged between mouthfuls.

Remus nodded.

"But in two days' time he'll start picking at his food again," James managed to say with his mouth full of eggs.

"I don't feel like eating during the week before the full moon," Remus defended himself. "I start to feel sick if I eat too much."

The boys never worried about the house elves overhearing their conversations; they wouldn't spread the word or treat Remus any differently. This kind of information seemed to go in one bat-like ear, and out the other.

"Too much being half of what's good for you," James challenged after swallowing.

"Come on, Moony, haven't we told you this before? The less you eat, the hungrier the werewolf will be," Sirius warned in a singsong voice.

Remus choked on his pumpkin juice at this statement; it was how he reacted each time Sirius sang it out. "Alright, alright, I'll make sure I eat all week this time. Just – let's not talk about this anymore, alright?"

His friends nodded and they finished their breakfast in silence.

Finally finished, James gave a satisfied sigh. He leaned back in his chair, only to realize that he was sitting on a small stool and managed to grab on to the edge of the table before toppling over.

Glaring at Sirius, who was snickering at him, James tried to think of something to say to avert his attention. "Hmm, how about a prank?"

Sirius stopped laughing. "What?"

"A prank. We've been sitting ducks for these past two weeks; isn't it time to get back into action?"

Remus couldn't help but grin. "I'm up for it."

"Me too!" Sirius announced eagerly.

"Really, Padfoot? I thought you'd never agree!" James exclaimed sarcastically.

Sirius decided to ignore this last statement. "So, what'll the prank be, then?"

"Dunno."

Remus grinned. "Fancy going around naked, Sirius?"

---------------------------------------------------

James and Remus were tucked away under the invisibility cloak and behind a suit of armor in the Entrance Hall. Sirius glared in their direction to stop their snickering. They must have been looking at him and shut up immediately.

Sirius sighed. Here he was, standing in the middle of the Entrance Hall, naked save for the two textbooks he'd pressed against himself to cover his private parts. He had to admit, he felt rather foolish, even a tad embarrassed, but he knew it was worth it.

He backed against the wall as he heard the expected Slytherins coming nearer. The whole prank was expertly timed, with the help of the Marauders' Map. Once they were about to come through, Sirius would round the corner and... do what he had to do.

Finally, the crowd of about a half dozen Slytherins approached the Entrance Hall and Sirius went into action. He ran full-blast around the corner and into the corridor they'd been strolling along and began to scream.

"HELP! HELP! SNAPE STOLE MY CLOTHES AND NOW HE'S CHASING AFTER ME! HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!"

The Slytherins were dumbfounded and stopped walking. He ran straight past them, turned around, and passed them again, yelling the same thing.

"HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME! HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!" he repeated as he began running in circles in front of them.

He thought he heard Remus and James walking to the end of the hallway in which he had entered. Quickly glancing back, he did not see the empty Entrance Hall and corridor that he had expected – there was Snape, standing just in the Entrance Hall, fuming.

Sirius grinned to himself and ran over to Snape instead.

"PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME! PLEASE! AND GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES!"

Snape just glared at him.

"AT LEAST MY SKIVVIES!"

His eyebrows raised in disgust, Snape seemed particularly repelled by the thought of handling Sirius' underwear. The look of surprise disappeared and his face hardened as he opened his mouth to speak.

"Black! Explain yourself!" shrilled a voice that wasn't Snape's.

Sirius looked past his rival to see none other than Professor McGonagall.

He was so shocked that he nearly dropped the two textbooks, which would not have been a good occurrence. Sirius only managed to stutter. "I – uh – skivvies... eh –"

McGonagall flicked her wand and Sirius was fully clothed; no textbooks, either.

"That was absolutely unacceptable. Students must be fully clothed outside of their dormitories and bathrooms at all times. Ten points from Gryffindor."

Sirius nodded solemnly, but then grinned. "Hey – no detention!"

"I wasn't finished yet," the professor said pointedly. "As I recall, I assigned my sixth years some rather consuming Transfiguration homework, and I am surprised as to why you are wasting your Saturday fooling around in the nude as opposed to getting your work done. That being said, you now have detention for each next Saturday up until Halloween, seeing as you have nothing better to do that day of the week anyway."

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius saluted. He didn't really mind getting detention; especially since he was going for the school record.

McGonagall just gave him a stern look and walked away after ushering the Slytherin bystanders along.

Snape was still there, though. "Rather tasteless, Black," he said icily.

Sirius smirked. "Not as tasteless as your choice of shampoo."

"How would you know what shampoo I use?" Snape challenged.

"I wouldn't, but I can tell that it's bad quality by the state that your hair's in," Sirius shot back.

Snape raised his wand but seemed to think the better of it. Instead, he turned around and stalked across the Entrance Hall and toward the library, his robes billowing behind him.

It was at that moment that James and Remus finally decided to reemerge. When they did, they doubled over with laughter.

"That was good, mate!" James said, gasping for breath.

Sirius grinned. "Not just good, Prongs, that was classic!"

"Too bad about detention, though," said Remus.

"No, we're going for the record," Sirius and James said simultaneously.

"Only one hundred twenty-seven more to go!" Sirius added.

Remus smiled. "I thought you'd given that up in fourth year."

Gasping, Sirius said proudly, "We mischief-makers never give up! Especially not if it's breaking detention records that we're talking about!"

"Alright, let's go back up to the common room. And no more fooling around, Padfoot," James mock-scolded.

Sirius glared playfully. "Just make sure Moony doesn't make me run around with two Charms textbooks squashing my –"

"We get it, Padfoot," James said, wincing, before Sirius had the chance to finish his sentence.

-----------------------------------------------

Lily sighed. She had finally finished her Transfiguration essay and her hunger was catching up.

"Mandy, Alice," she said to her friends, who were working on their respective beds, "I'm going to go down to lunch and bring up some food for you, alright?"

Alice looked up in disbelief. "You've finished?"

"I told you that the Transfiguration essay was easy," Mandy said pointedly.

"I got to work faster once we moved back up to the dormitory; it's much easier to concentrate here. If we were still in the common room, I wouldn't have been halfway done yet."

"Well, I'm not done my Potions work yet," Mandy defended.

"That's because you and Alice were talking the whole time!"

"You were talking too!"

"But I was writing at the same time!"

"That's not physically possible."

"Sure it is; it's called multitasking."

Alice sighed. "Can you girls please be quiet? I'm trying to concentrate."

"Oh, alright," Lily grinned.

"I would have won that argument, and you know it," Mandy joked.

Lily just stuck out her tongue and headed downstairs.

"Lily!" someone called out as she reached the foot of the staircase.

Looking around the half-empty common room, Lily spotted Amber.

"Hi... I thought you were with Sirius?"

Amber shrugged. "I couldn't find him; I even checked in the kitchens and he wasn't there."

"He's probably up to some trouble again," Lily said not-so-fondly.

"I don't see why you don't like Sirius, Lils. He's a great bloke."

Lily smiled. "Maybe to you he is, but to me... you've seen him. Remember when we were coming on the train?"

"I suppose you're right. That's the thing with Sirius. You can be on his good side or his bad side or somewhere in between..."

There was a brief hush in which all that could be heard was soft chatter and the scraping of quills. Lily noticed that Peter was sitting at a desk nearby, but the rest of the Marauders were nowhere to be seen.

As if responding to Lily's thoughts, the portrait hole opened and in came Sirius, Remus, and Potter, all laughing like mad.

Amber turned, saw Sirius, and went over to him. Lily dragged along behind her, having forgotten that she was supposed to be getting lunch for herself and her friends.

The boys' laughing died down and Sirius greeted Amber with a kiss.

Once they broke apart, a rather flustered Amber asked, "Where have you been all day, Sirius?"

"Getting detention," he grinned.

"What? Already?"

"No, love, this detention was long overdue. Two weeks into the school year and we still hadn't caused any mayhem... until today!"

Amber rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Alright, what did you do?"

Sirius seemed to have been waiting for this. His face brightened up and James and Remus, still standing on each side of him, looked on the verge of hysterics.

He took a deep breath before launching into his story.

"James and Remus and I were happily enjoying our scrumptious breakfast down at the kitchens when we decided that it was time to get out of our school work daze and get back to being the true Marauders. So as we thought over the prospect of a prank, Remus asked if I fancied going around wearing..." there was a pause, "nothing!"

Amber laughed. "What?! Nothing? Not even your skivvies?"

"No, love, not even my skivvies," Sirius said dramatically. Lily smirked.

"Now that my wardrobe for the prank had been decided," Sirius continued after awhile, "we had to agree upon what the prank was going to be in the first place. And finally, we decided."

"And...?" Amber prompted as her boyfriend had stopped talking altogether.

Lily waited for him to continue; she was interested in spite of herself as to what these idiots (save Remus of course) had come up with. She reminded herself that it was, in fact, Remus who had suggested that Sirius go around naked. Maybe he wasn't as innocent as he seemed.

Finally, Sirius began to talk again. Lily noticed that he had grabbed the attention of everyone in the common room.

"And I ran right up to some Slytherins, naked save for the two textbooks I was using to hide my privates, and started to yell 'HELP! SNAPE STOLE MY CLOTHES AND NOW HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME!' They were so confused that they stood there, their cake-holes wide open, with no idea what was going on! And then guess who showed up?"

"Who?" Amber supplied.

"Snape! And you know what I said to him? I said, 'PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME! GIVE ME BACK MY CLOTHES!' and when he didn't answer I yelled out, 'AT LEAST MY SKIVVIES!' and he looked as though I'd just asked him to kiss me!"

Amber was doubled over in laughter. "So then what happened?"

"Then McGonagall came!" Remus suddenly called out.

"And she flicked her wand and his clothes were back! And then she said 'you're not allowed to be naked anywhere besides your dormitory and bathroom!'" James laughed.

Sirius grinned. "Something like that, yes. She took ten points off of Gryffindor but then she went on about wasting my Saturdays so she gave me Saturday detentions until Halloween."

Amber stopped laughing. "What? Halloween?"

"Yes, what's wrong with Halloween?"

"There's a Hogsmeade weekend on the Saturday before Halloween."

"So?" Sirius couldn't see what Amber was leading up to. Lily knew though, and this wasn't going to be pretty.

"I thought we were going on a date that Saturday!"

Sirius thought for a bit. "Right! Oops."

Amber looked at her boyfriend as though he were insane. "Oops? What do you mean, oops?"

"Oops, I forgot?"

"And why not, 'Oops, I shouldn't have gone out and got detention before remembering that I have a date to attend to?'"

"But that detention was worth it! You should have seen the look on Snape's face!"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT SNAPE! It's about the fact that you care more about breaking that stupid detention record than you do about me!"

"Well, I have been attempting to break that record for a lot longer than I've been going out with you," Sirius said, but seemed to realize his mistake.

"Really? Then I suppose that your friends mean nothing to you either, compared to the next big prank you've got planned!" Amber shrilled.

"No, my friends are different! They're like my brothers!"

"AND WHAT ABOUT ME?" she yelled.

"You're my girlfriend," Sirius said simply, though his voice was raised a notch.

"Well maybe I don't want to be your girlfriend if I mean so little to you!"

With that, Amber ran up the stairs, toward the sixth year girls' dormitory.

"Did she just break up with me?" Sirius asked, dumbfounded.

James patted his shoulder. "She said maybe, mate. You two are still together. Why don't you just go give her a snog and –"

"Potter!" Lily bellowed suddenly. "What is your problem? And yours, Black! Even if that detention record does mean more to you than Amber does, that was an extremely stupid thing to say! You had better apologise to her, or I'm going to – I'm going to – Oh, I don't know WHAT I'm going to do, but you rest assured that it won't be a pleasant experience!"

Like her friend, Lily stormed up the stairs without a backward glance, oblivious to the stares of her house-mates. She had known that Sirius wasn't good enough for Amber.

"Skivvies!" she heard Sirius swear as she climbed back to her dormitory.


A/N: -pantpant- YAY! I finally finished... wow. Well, good thing I managed to post this before leaving on my vacation. I'm getting back at the end of the month, but I promise to update before the beginning of school! (which is September 7th for me, haha.)

By the way, you mustmustmust read Unshaven and on the Loose, a collaboration parody of PoA that was written by none other then MOI and Itami Kitsune!! :D it's on her account... go there and yah. :]

I wrote the prologue and she's currently writing chapter one... I'll give you updates on that each time I update, and maybe give updates on Hate Everything About You everytime I update on UaotL x3

Speaking of updates, I promised to tell u guyz how my band trip went. In a word, it was AWESOME. But it was long ago so yeah. I'll tell you how my 11- day vacation went in my next update, lol. xP

NOW, finally, what you've all been waiting for, I getta thank the reviewers! :)

MooKittee: How's this for short? 12 pages on Word NOT counting these review- replies which'll prolly make it 14 =P Hope u fixed that overflowing toilet bowl, btw. :)

Animalluvr75: yay! I'm so glad you like it! –hug- sorry it was short.

Jill: Lol, thanks!! Nice description there. And accurate as per my description! –grins-

Chomeister: Lolz, u feel like an individualist wen u read my story? W00t! haha. U betcha that ur cool! :]

Limbo-gal: I just realized that there is absolutely NO Lily-James action in this chapter. Bug me for some and I'll giv it 2 ya, k? –winkwink- thx for reviewing!

Amandinka: aww, sry, I suck at updating 'soon'. I'm a weirdo. --;

Luvsirius: quite a few reviews from u... lemme just read em... sorry about the A/Ns and the typos; im currently re-editing. And also... the muggle world is /supposed/ to be like... present-day, even tho the wizarding world is a generation back. But I decided 'okay not only does that confuse everyone, its stupid and pointless and doesn't contribute to the story and only makes the writing less good' so im gunna take that out while I re-edit as well. :] thx for reviewing and im glad u like it!!! :)

Kristi: yeah, longer. –grins- wen I asked if they were 2 long way back when, I was an n00b. now I know what's short and whats not... xD and yes. Last chapter WAS too short.

Mia: Hey! So glad you like my story. Yeah, sorry about the author's notes and the slang and all that other... sucky writing xP I'm re-editing previous chapters rite now actually cause I seriously decided I need to fix it.

Realmer06: teehee, nice review, lol. U like the twist? Thx. Makes her more like Harry, haha. Poor Harry... doesn't kno what on earth is going on... -sigh- J. K. Rowling is too good.

Polarberry: yay, lol! –shudders- coffee??!? Come on Cathy. Coffee is g-r-o- s-s. drink ICED CAPS! xDDDDDD

Joe: It wasn't supposed to make sense. I don't make sense. –grins- lily gives in during seventh year... remember? In OotP... yeah. And James isn't pathetic! He rox! :D

Jessiquie: thanks for all that praise! I really really appreciate it! xD just teasing. :]

The all mighty and powerfulM: Lol, thx bout the exam-luckness. The math exam wasn't all that important... its just preparation for grade nine. 77/80 on it tho x3. but I didn't do so well on my piano exam... but then again I am Tani the Super Perfectionist who gets mad when she gets bad marks. =)

Angel: thanks, glad you like it! Arr... hope my update was soon enough.... –hangs head in shame of her slowness-

Pammi: well Voldie's murdered some ppl... he's a known criminal. But no1's gotten really scared of him yet... you'll c. –mohahaha-

Sw33tdr3am3r: wow cheese, ur name is annoying to type cos of all the 3s in it. --; yes... submit review button... -mmhmm I get it...-... -not- lol

Itami Kitsune: lol, itami... let remus be yours later on, okay? I'll tell you when he becomes yours as long as you keep reviewing so I can keep replying to your reviews, lol.

Starrydreams: HI HONGYI!!! Yay its faboulously FABULOUS? –gasp- lol... I cant use all four hours on my fic...... u know how it is with writer's block and lack of inspiration and downright laziness... comon!! Lol. –goes to play bubble struggle- xD

Okay so thanks everybody for reviewing!!! Im past 75!!!! So happy! :D:D:D:D:D

And keep those reviews coming? Plz? U know u want tooooooooooooooo.... Yay!

Hmm... a special treat for my 100th reviewer! Prolly wont b for this chap but yeah... and I guess u get 2 choose ur treat. Lol, if I know you like, in person, ur treat can be more treat-ish (lol)... but for those I don't know... I can use ur name and/or personality for one of the minor characters? lol or dedicate a chapter to you... aww, sorry, I suck at giving rewards. --;; if u think ur the 100th reviewer and u want a treat then leave ur email, oki? then no matter HOW slow my updating is, u can still get something. xP

oh and before I leave... SKIVVIES was a word I picked up on a British Slang website that means underwear. Hope you got that while reading. I love that word, lol. If I'm using British slang incorrectly or using Canadian/American slang too much, don't hesitate to tell me!

Okay, have a good summer everyone! 'Till next time!