Author's Note: Well, I didn't get many reviews, but the ones I did get said it was good, so onward I march. Or rather, type.

To the reviewers:

Lymerai: Thank you so so so so much for your review! Without I dunno if I would've continued with this fic. You were a great encouragement to me.

On with the fic!

'Welcome back for another episode of The Surreal Life, only on VH1. On today's episode the housemates have receive the first of many assignments to come.'

InuYasha was the first to wake, who immediately went downstairs to make himself some Ramen for breakfast. He went into the kitchen and opened the cupboard on the far left, which happened to be stocked full with every different kind of Ramen. The hanyou's eyes went wide as he took in the glory of it all.

After what seemed like hours of intense deliberation, he finally chose a flavor and attempted to use the stove. Mrs. Higurashi had taught him how to do it once, but this stove was much different from theirs. ((See episode 89))

Several minutes later everyone came rushing into the now smoke-filled kitchen at the sound of the smoke alarm and found InuYasha passed out on the floor. Kagome quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and attempted to clear out the smoke out to turn off the alarm. Miroku and Sango carried InuYasha into the living room and laid him on the couch in the living as Koga tried to help out Kagome. The un-phased Kikyo leaned against a wall in the living room, occasionally chuckling at the insanity that was taking place.

Once most of the smoke was gone Kagome found that all four of the stove burners were turned on high, and the oven was set to broil. A huge casserole dish was on the back burner, filled with dry ramen and no water. Just as she was about to get an oven mitt and take out the dish, Koga offered to do it for her.

"I don't think that's a go-"

"I insist, anything for my Kagome."

"I'm not YOUR Kagome, and if you're not caref-"

"Holy –bleepbleepbleep- that –bleep- is –bleep- hot!" screamed the wolf demon as he ran frantically around the kitchen.

Koga's Journal Cam-

"No comment. Now shut the –bleep- up and get this –bleep- thing away from me!"

End Journal Cam-

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed as she took Koga's hand and ran it under cold water to stop it from blistering.

Meanwhile -

Sango, Miroku, and Kikyo sat around the living room, watching, as InuYasha would occasionally twitch his fuzzy white ears. "So," the monk started, "looks like InuYasha's nose couldn't handle the strong smell, eh?" "Yeah, his nose is extremely sensitive, being a half demon and all." Sango replied as she eyed Kikyo suspiciously.

Miroku's gaze darted back and forth between Kikyo and Sango, and occasionally back at Kagome who was still tending to Koga's burn. "What are you looking at, monk?" Kikyo asked plainly. "You see, Lady Kikyo, I couldn't help admire such beauties." Sango rolled her eyes as Kikyo walked over to Miroku, pinning him against the wall with her face just inches from his. "Just remember," she whispered into his ear, "pretty flowers always have thorns."

Just as Miroku was about to get acquainted with the priestess' buns, Sango interrupted and pushed Kikyo away. "Get off of him!" she screamed as she stood in front of him protectively.

"You dare challenge me, foolish demon slayer?"

"Not now, but consider this a warning."

"Well, you really must love him."

"What! No!"

"Then why the who- Get your hands off of me, monk!" Kikyo commanded as she spun around and bitch-slapped him upside the head. ((A/N: Sorry I just had to say it!))

Kikyo's Journal Cam-

"That monk is such a perverted lecher. Everytime I'm near him he can't keep his hands to himself. Maybe I should just play along and make that demon slayer girl jealous."

End Journal Cam-

Miroku rubbed his face with one hand while waving the other in front of himself defensively. "It's the hand! It's cursed I tell you!"

"Suuuure." Both Kikyo and Sango said in unison.

"Shall we go help Kagome in the kitchen?" Sango asked.

"Anything to get away from the lecher." Kikyo replied as they walked away.

-Later-

After Kikyo and Sango explained everything to Kagome and Koga, Kagome shook her head and sighed. "This is gonna be a long day."

'We'll be right back with The Surreal Life, on VH1'

Commercial Break-

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End Commercial Break-

'Welcome back! You're watching VH1'

-Later-

InuYasha woke up as Kagome prepared breakfast for everyone, and once they were finished eating she went out to get the Surreal Times. Moments later she came in and sat on the kitchen counter as she began to read. "Ok, let's see here. 'Today the Surreal Life housemates will compete in the first annual Surreal Life ice cream eating contest. Tables and chairs have been set up in the back yard, and around noon the ice cream and judges will arrive.'" Everyone looked extremely puzzled, each having something to ask.

"What's ice cream?" "What's a judge?" "When is noon?" "What the –bleep- is a chair?" "Oh shiny!" "Will there be ramen?" they all blurted out at the same time.

"Guys! Slow down! One at a time, alright?" Kagome ordered.

"Bossy bitch."

"InuYasha!"

"No, wait, don't do it. Please!"

"Sit boy!"

CRASH-

"Damn… that… hurt." The half demon whimpered as he peeled his face of the linoleum floor.

"Can we get on with it already?" Kikyo suggested.

-Later-

After Kagome answered everyone's questions they all bathed, fought over srubby brushes and soap, and ruined three towels. Then it was time for brushing and blow drying.

"Why Sango, you smell especially nice today." Miroku said as his hand wandered dangerously close toward Sango's posterior.

"Eh, thanks… HANDS OFF LECHER!"

SMACK-

"What? How can I keep my hands away from such a flawless figure?"

"Feh, stupid monk." InuYasha scoffed.

"Okay everyone, listen up! This is a hair dryer. It is not dangerous, it will not hurt you in any way, shape, or form. It is not shiny and it does not taste like chicken, beef, fish or shrimp. Do not try to take it away from me, submerge it in water, or chew on the cord. Got it? Good."

Kagome went straight to work, blow drying everyone's hair, except for Miroku, who's hair was too short and his mind too perverted. Then she pulled out a hairbrush, pick, and comb and went to work.

Kagome's Journal Cam-

"Sheesh, today I had to take care of everyone's hair, and give them a lecture on hair dryer safety rules. I don't think anyone really paid much attention though"

End Journal Cam-

"Yo, Kagome, where's the hair dryer?" InuYasha asked.

"Uh… on the coffee table." Kagome answered as she worked on Sango's hair.

"Okay."

"Hey… why do you want the hair dryer?"

"No reason."

"Okay, whatever," she replied, not paying much attention anymore.

A few minutes later InuYasha called out to Kagome from the kitchen.

"Kagome,. how do you turn this faucet thing on?

"Turn the handles on the back. Left is hot and right is cold."

"'Kay."

Then it hit her.

She dropped her hairbrush ad darted toward the kitchen.

"InuYasha, don't put the hair dryer in the wat-"

BZZZZZZAAAAAAPP!

The whole room lit up, like a firecracker as InuYasha turned into a human string of Christmas lights. Koga swiftly grabbed Kagome and carried her out of harm's way, and apparently the safest spot was an innocent chandelier hanging overhead.

"Let me down, Koga!" she screamed. Unfortunately for her, the chandelier was more than willing to grant her wish as it plummeted to floor. "InuYasha!" she screamed as they hit the floor, expecting her hero to come to the rescue.

The sound of glass shattering echoed through the house as Kagome and Koga lifted themselves out of the pile of rubbish that now lay on the floor. Koga, of course, was perfectly fine, though Kagome was sore and bruised.

"You idiot!" she screamed, "What on earth gave you the crazy of jumping up on the chandelier? This isn't a playground!"

Shock and remorse were apparent on Koga's face. "B-but I thought tha-" "You thought nothing Koga, now shut up and sit!"

Fortunately enough for the barely conscious InuYasha, he was already on the floor, so it didn't really affect him, though Kikyo got a giggle out of it.

"K-k-kagome…" the hanyou said in a barely audible tone.

Kagome darted to his side and rested his head on her lap as she brushed a few silver hairs from his face.

"InuYasha." She whispered, concern evident in her voice.

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kagome."

"InuYasha"

"Kago-"

"Shut the hell up!" Koga shouted as he punched his fist into the counter.

"Make me!" InuYasha said as he summoned the strength to stand.

"Don't tempt me."

"Ooh I'm scared. Half-brained fleabag."

"Dumb ass half-breed."

"Retarded nose-picker!"

"InuYasha, you really shouldn't talk about Kikyo like that."

"You swore you wouldn't tell anyone about that!" Kikyo screamed at the top of her lungs.

Koga snickered as he walked away, feeling he'd done his part.

Miroku helped Kagome up, and then she tended to InuYasha injuries while he slipped back into a near unconscious state.. Sango worked on lunch after she was taught how to use the stove, while Kikyo wandered around pretending to do something useful.

"Kagome, what is this large, white contraption?" Kikyo asked.

"That's a refrigerator. It's for keeping food cold. Open it and look inside."

"How?"

"…Grab the handle and pull."

"Wow there's some sort of glowing crystal in here!"

"That's a light bulb."

"What's a light bulb?"

"It converts electricity into light."

"What's electricity?"

"Kikyo, PLEASE go find something to do."

"Why should I?"

"Because you're making it really hard for me to concentrate. You wouldn't want me to accidentally to chop of InuYasha's arm, now would you?"

"Of course not. What a foolish question to ask."

"Okay, NOW will you leave?"

"Can I just watch? I'll be real quiet."

"Promise?"

"Mm hmm. Promise."

"Fine."

'My goodness, it took her long enough to shut up.' Kagome thought as she finished up. 'Note to self: Don't let Kikyo have any more coffee at breakfast.'

Minutes later, InuYasha was asleep on the couch while Kagome set the table and Sango finished the meal. Kikyo knelt at the hanyou's side and ran her fingers across his forehead, brushing away the stray hairs. "InuYasha, you really should get up and try to eat. It'll help to regain your strength." She said softly, seeming to have recovered from her temporary insanity.

InuYasha mumbled something and moved a bit, but never actually woke up. "InuYasha." Kikyo repeated. He flinched slightly and pushed her hand away as he mumbled again, but a bit more clearly.

"Kagome" he said, making Kikyo less than pleased.

"Hush now, you're okay. It's me, Kikyo."

"K-kagome."

Kikyo huffed and left, and as she walked past the kitchen again she got an idea.

"Do you have any more of those noodle that InuYasha likes so much?" she asked.

"You mean ramen? Yeah, we have a whole cupboard full. Why?" Kagome replied.

"Well InuYasha won't wake up, and he should probably get something in his stomach. Maybe if we make some he'll smell it and wake up to eat."

"Sure I guess, it's worth a shot."

-Minutes Later-

Kagome and Kikyo walked out and held the bowl of ramen near InuYasha. His nose twitched as one eye peeked around and saw the ramen in all its glory. He carefully sat up, amber eyes shifting from side to the other, the quickly snatched the ramen and had it gone in under a minute. Kikyo and Kagome just stared, half in amazement and half in disgust. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, Sango announced that lunch was ready.

After lunch was finished and the dishes were put away, the doorbell rung.

"Sango, get down!" Miroku screamed as he jumped to the floor as if there were a bomb or something, pulling Sango with him.

"Miroku, calm down, it's just the doorbell." Kagome said as she rolled her eyes and headed for the door.

She opened the door, took a step back, pinched herself, shook her head, and then screamed. "OMG OMG Look who it is!"

"Um… who is it?" Sango asked."

"Who is it? Who is it? I tell ya who it is!" Kagome said as tears of joys filled her eyes.

'We'll be right back with the Surreal Life, on VH1.'

Commercial Break-

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We're here today to tell you, the parent, that by talking to your children for 15 minutes a day, you'll reduce the chances of them becoming a douche-bag by ten percent. That's right. So please, don't let your child become a douche-bag. Show them you care."

"Paid for by the National Association Against Douche-Bags (NAADB) and Douchers Anonymous."

End Commercial Break-

Author's Note: Ha! Thought that it'd come back after the commercial, eh? Well you were wrong so hardee har har. Guess you'll just have to find out who it is next time!

Sorry I didn't put in a lot of Journal Cams, I forgot about it until after I finished writing it all, so I just kinda stuck a few in. Next time I'll try to get in at least one for each character.