Ch. 3
Buffy waited till she no longer heard Dawn's footsteps on the stairs before carefully getting out of bed. She couldn't take being cooped up one minute longer. She needed fresh air, and soon. Pushing the window up, she sat gingerly down on the sill. The sun's rays were starting to diminish. The longest day of her life finally winding down. Who would have thought a few days ago, the only thing she was worried about was Willow and Xander finding out about Spike? Hah! That was the least of her problems now. Not only were they going to find out about her sleeping with Spike, but there was irrefutable proof of her stupidity. She cramped suddenly and painfully. Grimacing, she looked down at her stomach. "Okay, I get your point. I didn't mean it."

Resting her head against the window, Buffy thought back over the last few months. When could she have become pregnant? It wasn't as if they were using protection. Who knew Spike's boys were alive and well? Hell, they rarely made it to the bed, making the idea of condoms somewhat moot. A flood of memories of hours spent with Spike, gasping, touching, laughing, moaning had Buffy's face hot with want. If she were honest with herself, and she never was, she wanted him still, always. When he walked into her room earlier, she thought, at first, that she was still hallucinating. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been so angry and hurt, that she thought she'd finally done it: She'd run him off for good. Oww! "Geez kid, already dishing out the pain. I guess there's no denying who's kid you are." Buffy had to snicker at that. She was going to be a mom. Mom. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of her mom, who would never know her grandchild.

Tara unlocked the front door. She had seen Buffy sitting in the window, and from the looks of it, she was crying. She wouldn't bother her right now. It really didn't matter if they did the tests now or later, the results would be the same. The most pertinent question was how had this happened. Of course, they did live on the Hellmouth. Buffy had been resurrected. Spike was a vampire. Where to start? She wondered. Right now, Buffy's mental state was very fragile. Tara didn't want to push her. When Buffy was ready to discover why this happened, she'd tell her.

Tara put her bags down in the dining room, and went to join Dawn on the sofa. "Hey, I didn't hear you come in." Dawn said sleepily. "I just closed my eyes for a second and dozed off." Tara pushed a lock of hair out of Dawn's eyes, and smiled. "Well, it's been a rough week for you. I'm real proud of you, Dawn. You took great care of Buffy." Dawn smiled broadly. "Thanks, Tara. I was just so scared. All I could think about was losing her again." She glanced nervously towards the stairs. "I don't understand why all of this is happening to her. Hasn't she been through enough?"

Tara shrugged. "I don't know, Dawnie. But hey, Buffy's going to be fine."

"What about the baby? Do you think the antidote hurt it?" Dawn folded her legs under her and leaned back. "I mean, we don't really know what it did to the kid." She said, already worrying about her unborn niece or nephew.

"Well, the divining spell didn't indicate anything other than the baby, so I'm hopeful, that the morning sickness took care of any lingering toxin." Dawn sighed heavily. She hoped everything was alright with the baby. She didn't think Buffy could handle a miscarriage right now. "Yeah, I know I'm just worried." She broke off abruptly as Spike entered the house. His arms laden with several plastic bags. "I could use a little help here, Nibblet." He growled.

Dawn and Tara shared a look of terror as they both realized the pregnancy tests were lying on the dining room table in full view. They sprang into action. Dawn grabbed a couple of bags from Spike, making sure to drop a few items on the floor, while Tara scooped up the bag, and headed for the stairs. "I'll let you two get Buffy's dinner started, and I'll go check on the patient."

Buffy splashed cold water on her flushed face, and sat on the toilet trying to steady her stomach and head. She was dizzy, but she couldn't face getting back into bed just yet. She wanted a shower, but that would take strength she didn't have at the moment. She looked up as Tara opened the door slightly and slipped inside. "I guess it's D-day, huh? Time to confirm the unexplainable." Buffy said through clenched teeth as another cramp shot through her stomach. She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Buffy, are you ok?" Tara's voice jarred Buffy. "No, I started cramping again. The nausea is better. Ok, a little better, not great, as in no nausea, but not constant like before." Tara smiled at Buffy's attempted humor. "I'm glad you still have a sense of humor about this." Buffy patted herself on the back. "It's the only way I can stay sane."

"I guess it's now or never." Tara opened the boxes and handed the tests to Buffy. Twenty minutes later, Buffy and Tara were staring at various pregnancy strips. They were all positive. Well, Buffy thought, I guess it doesn't get much clearer than that.

Spike stood at the foot of the stairs, debating whether or not to go check on Buffy. Tara had been in the bathroom with her for nearly 30 minutes. He had left Dawn in the kitchen unpacking the groceries. He had totally forgotten about the pregnancy tests he'd inadvertently bought, until he heard Dawn shriek. He ran into the kitchen and skidded to a halt, when he saw the younger Summers girl holding the boxes in her hand. "What the hell? How did you find out? Oh, shit, Buffy's going to kill me." Dawn was pacing back and forth, mumbling incoherently. Spike had to grab her to hold her still. "You know." They both said at the same time, and then laughed at their similar shocked expressions.

Blue eyes sized each other up. "So, Spike, was there something you and Buffy forgot to tell me?" Dawn asked sarcastically as she marched in front of a contrite Spike. They had stepped outside to the porch. The pregnancy tests were stuffed in the trash. Dawn couldn't believe Spike knew, and Spike was just as flabbergasted to realize Dawn knew about him and Buffy. Spike wasn't the nervous type, but he didn't want Buffy to stake him before he got to see his kid. "Well, Bit, here's the deal. Your sis, the Slayer, and me, well, we were seeing each other, but she broke it off."

"I know. She told me things weren't good between you two. They had to be good enough, though, since you are having a child together." Spike smirked, but said nothing. The sex had been great. That didn't make their affair any easier for either one of them. He wanted her, all of her, but he settled for what little crumbs she gave him. No matter how much it hurt him. He would have kept things the way they were, but it was killing her. He knew that now. "What can I say, Dawn? Sometimes things aren't always what they seem."

Dawn knew he wasn't telling all, but they had bigger problems. Buffy would never admit her feelings for Spike if she was on the defensive. And she would definitely be on the defensive if she knew he knew about the pregnancy. "Ok, I won't ask for details." She arched her eyebrow, but kept on walking, "but you should know, she doesn't want you to know yet." Spike kept his face neutral, but Dawn saw a flash of hurt and pain in his deep blue eyes. "She can't deal with you right now, Spike, so don't take it the wrong way. She needs time to come to terms with her feelings about the baby, and ....and for you." She grinned at the look of hope that passed quickly over Spike's face. "So, here's what you are going to do." She stopped in front of him and pulled his hands into hers. "You are going to have to be patient. She loves you. I know she does. You do, too, don't you?" At his nod, she continued. "Well, now, she has to convince herself it's alright to love you. The baby will help, somewhat, but she needs to get to know you. You both need to be in an open relationship. One where there aren't any secrets, no lies, no sneaking around." She emphasized the last part, and Spike would have blushed if he could.

Spike watched Dawn with awe. She was so grown-up. There were times when he could see the wisdom of her age. She could be so insightful, and then turn around and be the brat she was. "So what do you propose, Miss Summers?"

"I got Buffy to promise to include you more in our lives, and the Scoobies. You just have to be on your best behavior, especially around Xander. I'm thinking, romance her a bit." Her blue eyes fairly twinkled with mischief. Lord, would he ever be able to resist these Summers women, would any man? "Use the time you have until the baby's born to win her over." Dawn's eyes widen when she saw Buffy and Tara enter the kitchen. Her sister leaning heavily on Tara. "Spike, Buffy..." Spike turned and with vampiric speed was at Buffy's side before Dawn could finish her sentence.

"Buffy, what the hell are you doing out of bed?" Spike yelled. "I was sick of being in that room, is that okay with you, Nurse Nightingale?" Spike ground his teeth together and asked the Powers for patience. "I'm just concerned Buffy, that's all. Why don't you give me a break?" Buffy glared at him. She was tired, hungry, and so not in the mood for Spike's brand of nursing aid. "I didn't realize it took 2 hours to grocery shop." She said surly.

"Well, if you do it correctly, it can take more than a couple of hours." Spike smirked and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at her. Buffy gasped and blushed at the obvious double entendre. She looked around frantically to see if Dawn or Tara heard him, but they were blatantly ignoring them. That's just great, she thought. "Ow!" She reached out and clutched Spike's arm tightly. Tara and Dawn rushed to her side, but she waved them off. Spike looked physically sick. If Buffy had been looking, she would have seen fear in his eyes, but she wasn't. "Shit, Buffy, I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I'm fine. My stomach just likes to act up every now and then." Buffy looked up into Spike's concerned eyes, and smile. "I'll be alright. Can we call a truce for now? Buffy's not up for sparring with Spike today." She stuck her hand out and Spike took it and kissed each knuckle softly. Her body jolted at the feel of his cool lips against her skin. Desire, hot and rampant, rushed from her stomach to her head, causing her to sway slightly.

"Come on, Slayer, you can rest in the den before you eat." He picked her up and carried her out of the kitchen. When she went to open her mouth to protest, he leaned in and kissed her, effectively silencing any protest she might have. She should have been mad. She wasn't. She was hungry for his touch, but this kiss was different from the hundreds they'd shared. It was almost as if this was their first kiss. His lips were soft and undemanding, just lightly touching hers. Buffy wound her arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. She had missed him. He had missed her. This was the start of the rest of their lives, he thought. I could kiss him forever, she thought. He laid her gently down on the sofa, but she didn't let go. Instead, she rested her head against his. Her warmth charging his dead heart. She wanted to tell him so badly about the baby. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. He looked deeply into her hazel eyes, hoping she could feel his love, his strength, his commitment. He would never leave her or the baby.

Xander knocked on the front door. As usual, Buffy's front door wasn't locked, so he let himself in. His eyes immediately took in Spike leaning over Buffy. "What's the hell is going on here?" Spike and Buffy jumped, startled out of their little world. Xander shook his head in disgust. Buffy looked flush, and Spike looked annoyed. Two strides took him over to the sofa, where he pushed Spike away from Buffy.

"Get your undead hands off her!" Xander shouted, placing himself between Spike and Buffy. Spike clenched his fists together, wanting desperately to pound his fist into Xander's face. "You little twit, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Spike shouted. "Obviously, saving Buffy from a pawing."

"What?" Spike growled. Spike stepped closer to Xander, fully intent on dishing out the pain. Only the sound of Buffy's voice stopped him. "Please, stop it." Spike could tell she was in pain, and his anger at the whelp quickly evaporated. He knelt at her side, his hand caressing her face. "Are you cramping again?" She nodded woodenly, and clutched his hand tightly.

Xander stood by, dumbfounded by the display. "Buffy, what's wrong with you?" Xander asked completely clueless. Obviously, something had happened in the last few days, something he wasn't aware of. "She's been sick. If you'd come by to check on her, instead of abandoning her, you'd know." Spike was sick and tired of the Scoobies. Buffy wasn't invincible. Buffy squeezed his hand. He looked at her and a unspoken request was granted. He'd leave Xander alone for now. "I'm going to get Tara, okay." He said gently. Buffy nodded, and reluctantly released his hand. Spike bumped Xander on his way to the kitchen. Xander sneered, but said nothing further.

He sat down on the couch, grasping Buffy's hand. "So, you're obviously not feeling any better. Why didn't you tell us? Willow and I would have stayed here with you. You know that." His tone was concerned, but also reproachful. "When will you learn, Buffy, we're in this together." Buffy smiled slightly. She looked up, guiltily. "I know. I just didn't want to bother you any further. I thought I could handle things."

Tara came back into the living room with some herbal tea. "This may help to soothe your stomach Buffy. It doesn't have any caffeine or anything else like that." She said pointedly. "Thanks. Uh, where's Dawn, did she get dinner?"

Tara nodded yes. "She's cooking a pizza."

"You left her alone with a working stove. You like to live dangerously, don't you?" Buffy jokingly remarked. "Well, lucky for us, Spike's watching out for her." Tara pointed out, remembering the last time Dawn was left to cook. They almost had to call the fire department. "Oh, great. Two juvenile delinquents. That's like the blind leading the blind."

Xander only half-listened to their conversation. He was too busy studying Buffy's pale and drawn face. Why hadn't he noticed the dark rings around Buffy's eyes before? She is the Slayer, that's why. He always expected her to be strong, infallible. Last year, should have taught him she wasn't. She looked so small and frail lying there. Buffy saw his concerned look and groaned. "Xander, I'll be fine. Dawn and Tara are here."

Buffy, really couldn't take anymore concern from Xander. As much as she loved him, she didn't need another baby sitter. She wanted to be alone. Or so she thought. Her heart clenched seeing Spike enter with her dinner tray, Dawn tagging behind him. No, I want to be alone with Spike. I want to be in bed with him wrapped around me, just holding me. She lowered her gaze, as he caught her staring at him. She had to get control of herself. She had left him for a reason, a really good reason. He was killing me. Funny, how you felt more alive with him than you do now. Her smart ass mind remarked sarcastically.

"I'll take that." Xander grabbed the tray out of Spike's hands and set it down in front of Buffy. "Don't you have patrol?" Dawn grabbed Spike's arm, silencing the biting retort he had on the tip of his tongue. "I'll go on patrol once I know Buffy has eaten her dinner. You're too thin, Pet." Buffy shot him a dirty look, but made a dramatic display of eating a spoonful of the chicken broth. She closed her eyes as she swallowed, willing the food to stay down. She wasn't disappointed. She took a few more sips with the same result. They all let out a collective sigh of relief when they realized she wasn't going to vomit all over them.

"Here, Buffy, Spike got the kind of crackers you like." You had to admire the little matchmaker's attempt to make Spike look good. Buffy's eyebrows rose in warning to Dawn to quit it. Dawn scooted further behind Spike who watched the interaction between the sisters with amusement.

"C'mon, Tara, let's check on the pizza." Tara barely had time to say yes before Dawn dragged her out of the room. "I need to talk to you." Dawn whispered, looking behind her to make sure they were alone. "Spike knows about the baby. He heard the heartbeat." Tara's face went pale. "Wh..what? Oh, my goddess, we've got to tell Buffy." She stammered.

"Do we hafta?" Dawn guessed they did from the stunned look on Tara's face. "Just hear me out, Tara. Obviously, the whole Buffy and Spike sleeping together thing isn't a surprise to you. But think about Xander and Willow. You know full well, Xander's going to freak, and he's going to make things icky for awhile." Tara agreed. "Well, don't Buffy and Spike deserve a chance to be happy. I know Buffy broke things off because of us. She thought we were going to disapprove of them."

"She's confused about her feelings for Spike, and yes, she was worried how everyone would react." Tara shuddered thinking of Buffy's confession.

Dawn hopped up on the counter. "That's what I mean, Tara. She's so concerned about everyone else's opinion, she hasn't given Spike a chance. And that's all I'm asking for. I want them to have a chance at a real relationship. Not only for the baby, but for all of us. They are good together. I know Spike will never leave us." Dawn pulled imaginary lint off her sweater. She didn't care if she was being selfish about this. She and Buffy needed Spike. He needed them.

Tara weighed her options. She really should tell Buffy what she knew, but she had her doubts that it was the right thing to do. She had observed Buffy and Spike together. There was more there than just lust, especially on Buffy's part. Spike made her laugh, really laugh, and that was something that had been a rarity since before Glory. Now, there was a baby to think of. Didn't that innocent child deserve to have two loving parents? "Ok, Dawnie, we won't interfere. I won't say anything to Buffy." Dawn jumped down and ran to Tara, embracing her tightly. "Thank you, Tara." Tara smiled and said a prayer to the goddess to watch over them all.

Once Tara and Dawn left, the tension in the room upped a notch, with Xander trying his best to ignore the blond vampire. Spike stood off to the side, leaning against the wall watching Buffy. Xander tried unsuccessfully to block his view, but Spike couldn't have cared less. He was coming back after patrol anyway. By then, the whelp would have gone home. "So, Buff, since you're out of commission, and Deadboy here is going on patrol, what would you like me to do? Want me to go search that rental property where you were attacked?" Buffy scrunched her face. "I don't want you going by yourself. Who knows what those little shits will pull next? Right now, they are desperate. What do you think, Spike?"

To say Spike was shocked was an understatement, but that paled in comparison to Xander's amazement. "Why are you asking his opinion?"

Buffy cringed at the venom in Xander's voice. Had it always been like this between them? Had he hated Angel this much and she'd never noticed it? Buffy stared into her soup. God, she was a bitch. How could she have allowed everyone, herself included, to treat Spike like dirt? It was so much easier when he hated her and she hated him. The boundaries were set. She knew where she stood with him. They were enemies. Not anymore, her heart reminded her. She was afraid of this new thing between them. Not just the sex, but the feelings he evoked in her. Those feelings she stodgily refused to acknowledge, and he shouted from the rooftops. She had let her fear blind her to all the good he had done. Why would she do that? She sometimes wondered if she wasn't permanently dead inside. She felt very cold and alone.

"Xander!" Tara shouted. "Could you come here please?" Xander didn't want to leave Buffy alone with Spike. "Don't try anything." Buffy and Spike both rolled their eyes at him. Xander passed Dawn on her way to the living room. He smiled brightly at her, but was taken aback by the frown plastered on her face. Tara was standing near the sink, her hands on her hips. "Xander, Buffy asked Spike to come here. You..you should respect her wishes. Tara blushed furiously, unaccustomed to voicing her opinions. "You're acting like a jerk, and I want it to stop. You're not helping anyone with this attitude. Dawn loves Spike, regardless of what you think. You're only hurting her when you rip into him."

Xander shifted uncomfortably under Tara's stern, disapproving look. He felt like a schoolboy being scolded by his teacher. "Sorry, Tara. It's just.. This is Spike, we're talking about." He said lamely.

"Yes, this is the same Spike who nearly died for Dawn and fought by our sides all last summer." Tara knew she couldn't force Xander and Spike to get along, but she would try. She could only lead him so far, the rest was entirely up to him. "I know you're going through a rough time, but lashing out at Spike is wrong." With that said, she opened the oven and took Dawn's pizza out.