Ch. 6
To say the last 2 weeks had been hectic would have been an understatement in Buffy's opinion. Not only did she have to deal with her new relationship with Spike, but the repercussions of it. Xander was upset with her, mad at Spike, actually just plain pissed off. Anya still refused to speak to him, and Buffy herself was close to telling him to stop coming over. Tara was upset with her for lying to Willow. Dawn was so giddy, Buffy thought she might puke. Thankfully, the morning sickness was slacking off. Willow was overjoyed to have Tara around so much, but starting to get suspicious about the direction the research was going in. And to top it all off, Buffy wasn't able to get into her favorite pair of pants.

"Dawn, if your butt isn't down here in 2 minutes, you're walking to school!" Buffy closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, trying to relieve the pressure. It was only 7:30 and she already had a headache. She knew most of the tension came from the inevitable argument she'd have with Xander when he arrived. He had taken it upon himself, ever since he walked in on a particularly hot make-out session with Spike, to remind her of the grave and stupid error she was making by getting involved with the dead. Sheesh, he didn't give her any credit. She thought about her decision everyday. And then she thought about their baby, and how much Spike would love her. The pros of dating Spike far out weighed the cons. Besides that, she felt special and loved when she was with him. If Spike loved their child with a tenth of the love he felt for her, she'd be a lucky little girl. Buffy smiled thinking about her daughter. She hoped she had Spike's blue eyes. Tara and Dawn had asked her why she kept referring to the baby as a girl, and Buffy had told them, that somehow she knew she was having a girl. Maybe, it had to do with being the Slayer, and girl-power, but this baby, her baby was a girl. At least, she was certain of one thing in her life. Her feelings for Spike were, well, complicated.

"Dawn!" She yelled, finally opening her eyes.

"What?" Dawn asked nearly causing Buffy to fall off the stool. "I've been standing right here in front of you, and you never noticed me. Thinking about Spike, again?" Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister, Spike's greatest ally and apt pupil in mischief.

"No, just dreading my daily lecture from Xander." Dawn smiled and grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge.

"You're dreading it. I'm dreading it. After he leaves here, I get the full 'Dawnie, you're too young to understand how wrong this is' lecture. I'm sick of it. I'm considering riding the bus, and you know how much I hate that." Dawn thought the school bus was for the true freaks in Sunnydale. Forget the actual demons and hellbeasts she'd faced, members of the chess club, the debate team, and science club were the real aliens around here.

Buffy smiled, feeling much better. At least, there was someone else sharing her pain. Spike didn't care. Told her he'd actually enjoyed Xander catching them. Said it was the best show he'd seen in ages. Willow and Tara were staying out of it.

"I wish he understood why I'm dating Spike?" Buffy sighed, then got up to pour the lukewarm tea she'd been sipping down the drain. She turned back, and leaned against the sink.

"Why does he need to understand it, Buffy? It's your decision. It's your life. You lo..like Spike a lot, and he loves you. End of discussion." Dawn swiped the raisin toast off Buffy's plate and munched on it thoughtfully. "Buff, when are you going to tell Spike? The unwearables are piling up in your room. He's going to notice your stomach soon. Hell, everybody's going to notice baby Summers, there."

"Baby Summers-Develin is ruining my wardrobe. Those new brown slacks I bought 2 weeks ago?" Dawn squinted, trying to remember them. "Can't zip them. They are so cute, Dawn, and now, they're in the pile." Buffy looked downright miserable. "As far as Spike goes, I'm going to tell him this week. I want him to go to my next appointment with me. Dr. Schulz is going to do the ultrasound."

Dawn clapped her hands together excitedly. "Can I come?" Buffy smiled at her, then moaned when she heard the doorbell ring. Since Xander found them sprawled together on her bed, the front door was now locked at all times. If a demon was after you, you'd better call ahead. "Sure, Dawnie, we'll need for you to hold the door open while Spike tries not to become a crispy fritter."

Dawn grabbed another piece of toast and gulped down the last of her orange juice. Buffy hugged her good-bye, swung the door open, pushed Dawn out, and slammed it in Xander's face before he could even say 'hello'. She locked the door, not feeling the least bit guilty about shutting Xander out. Tara had left some stuff for her to read, so she sat down on the sofa, determined to get a few hours' reading in before heading to work at 10.

Buffy thumbed through the dozen or so pages that Tara had copied from the Council site. Willow decided to narrow the search by calendar year and season. There were 5 detailed prophecies listed, but none of them mentioned anything about conception or involved a slayer and a vampire. The Council was nothing if thorough. The prophecies made for interesting reading. The Hellmouth was due for another apocalypse this winter. It was good to know she didn't need to make any plans for Christmas. You'll be 2 months old, my little one, and a seasoned pro by the time you're 5. She thought sadly.

Staring bleary eyed at the ancient words, Buffy wondered again if this was the right course to take. There had to be some reason why Spike was able to get her pregnant. Vampires did not just up and have kids. Slayers didn't either. Some force out there made it possible for her to conceive, and she wanted to know why? If it was magic, who did the spell and why would they want Spike to have a child? One thing was for certain, Spike wasn't human. In all the months they'd been lovers, she'd never felt his skin grow warm or his heart beat, not even after hours upon hours of sex. So, that wasn't it.

Was it the spell that brought her back? Tara had assured her the only changes were cellular, so they wouldn't affect Spike at all.

Was her baby the key to some prophecy that might destroy the world? Please, don't let it be that. She prayed. She was the Slayer. It was her duty to protect the world from evil. Would she be able to protect the world from her own child? Would she sacrifice her baby for the world? It was all so confusing.

Tell him. Her heart pleaded. Don't take this burden on by yourself. It chided. Spike would be the voice of reason. He would know exactly what to say and do. What are you really afraid of? That had been Tara's question the other night, when she pleaded with Buffy to end all this secrecy. What am I afraid of? She thought, dropping her head wearily into her hands.

Vampires are supposed to sleep during the day, and roam at night, but not Spike. He'd always liked living dangerously, besides, Buffy didn't have to be at work until 10. That left them with a couple of hours to themselves.

"Bloody hell, open up, Slayer!" Spike yelled as he banged on the back door. Buffy jumped off the couch, racing through the house, and into the kitchen where she pulled a smoldering Spike inside. She giggled in amusement at the series of obscenities that came out of his mouth. Quite impressive. He knew quite a few.

"Explain to me this death wish you have? You, vampire. Sun, bad."

"Well, luv. There's something to be said about the daylight. Makes everything easier to find." Spike wiggled his eyebrows as he started walked menacingly towards her. Buffy knew that look meant trouble. She stepped back a few feet, grinning, but Spike kept on coming. He grabbed for her and she yelped and took off running. He caught her around the waist, laughing, and fell back on to the sofa, his body taking the brunt of the fall.

"You are such a goof." She laughed. It was good to hear her laugh again. He mused, unaware Buffy was thinking the same thing. I haven't laughed this much in months. Must be the company I'm keeping these days. She sighed as the fear in her gut slowly receded. That's when it hit her. The rightness of him being here in her life. She had missed this: The holding, the touching, the kissing, the caressing, the moaning, the shuddering, the laughing, the gasping, the being together with their bodies connected everywhere.

Buffy clasped his hands which were still around her waist. I'm pregnant. It'd be so easy, and he'd be so happy. Of course, he wouldn't let her out of the house again. He hated Doublemeat, and now that he knew Warren was stalking her, he was even more disdainful of the place. And why she allowed the Cro-Magnon behavior, could only be blamed on her hormones. "Why are you here? I thought we were going to meet after work."

Spike nuzzled the back of her neck, twisting so they were laying on their sides on the couch. "Well," he whispered in her ear, "I knew this was Willow's early day at school, so I thought I'd cook you breakfast this morning." Spike couldn't see Buffy's face, but he knew she didn't believe a word of that drivel. It wasn't as if he could come right out and say 'I wanted to make sure you were okay'. Buffy was an independent woman. She didn't like to be coddled. He had to thank the baby when she was born for mellowing her mom out. The Buffy he knew and loved would have never put up with the overprotectiveness he'd been displaying the last 2 weeks.

"That's so lame, I'm not even going to bother laughing at that." A small part, a really small part of her, liked having Spike looking out for her. There were perks to this dating thing, Buffy decided and wriggled closer to Spike. Yep, definite perks, she thought with a smile, when she heard Spike's gasp.

"Watch it, Buffy. Humans aren't the only ones who get morning stif.."

"Finish that thought, and out the house you go." She felt his laughter deep in her belly. "Seriously, you can't get comfortable. I have to be at work at 10. Lorraine's been more than understanding these last few weeks, but she won't be if I'm late today."

"Well, luv", he said as his hand crept over her hip, eliciting a tremble from her. "I can do a lot of things in the time you have left."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Ah, that would be no, but thanks for trying." One track mind. She tried to summon righteous indignation, but she couldn't, not with him stroking her back.

Buffy bent over, giving Spike a nice view of her bare back, and started picking up the research papers. Spike saw the papers strewn across the table, and picked one up. "What's this, Buffy?" Buffy tried to swipe it out of his hands, but he pulled it back out of her reach. He quickly scanned the sheet, a sense of dread spreading through his body. "Why are you looking into prophecies?" Spike sat up, seeing her features shadowed in fear.

"I..I.." What could she say? I want to know why your boys are active. I want to know how you got me pregnant. I want to know if this child of ours will be the destroyer of the world. Spike grabbed her trembling hands, and pulled her into his lap. "Tell me. Come on, Slayer, we're in this together. Don't you know that by now, you silly bint?"

Buffy wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, letting his coolness seep into her weary bones. Spike ran his hands down her back, trying to comfort her. He didn't know what had changed the laughing woman from last night into this scared young girl, but he was determined to bring her back.

"Is it Social Services?" Buffy mumbled no into the crook of his neck. "Did you lose your job?" Again, she said no. "Well, what is it, luv? Is it the Bit?" Buffy shook her head, and hugged him tighter. Luckily, he didn't need to breathe because she was crushing his windpipe. "Are you worried those blokes could hurt you? Find some obscure prophecy to defeat you." She nodded. "Buffy, I wanted to kill you for years. If there was something like that out there, I would have found it." He felt her smile, and it comforted him. Was there something out there, something he'd missed that could do her some harm? He hoped not.

Buffy pressed her lips into his cool skin. It would be so easy to let him take over, solve all her problems. For once, she wouldn't have to be the strong one. She could lean on someone else for a change.

"I'm pregnant." Spike hid his smile in her hair. "What did you say? It was kinda muffled." He pulled at her arms, finally succeeding in releasing the death grip she had on his neck. He looked her steadily in the eyes. "Now, say it again, slowly." Buffy swallowed, the lump in her throat huge. Her eyes watered. This was so hard, but he was looking at her with so much love and affection. It'll be okay. I trust him. I know I'm making the right decision. She assured herself.

"I'm pregnant." She waited nervously while the words sunk in. Oh, god, she thought, panicked. He doesn't want us.

Even though, he knew, had known for weeks, hearing her say it, nearly brought Spike to his tears. "I know." Spike's eyes twinkled brightly.

"What?" Buffy shouted, immediately on the defensive, totally forgetting her fear. She attempted to climb out of his lap, but he held her firmly in his grasp. "Now, relax Buffy. Dawn didn't tell me, neither did Tara." He replied to the accusations and threats coming out her mouth. "Buffy, I'm a vampire. I heard your heartbeats. Yours and the baby."

"Oh." She said simply, momentarily stunned. He'd known all this time, and didn't tell her. Oh, but he told someone. I'm going to kill Dawn. There was no way the little schemer didn't know all about this. Spike saw that murderous gleam in her eye. He and Dawn were in big trouble.

"Now before you get all huffy and mad," he said, drawing Buffy's attention back to him, "thank you". Spike cupped Buffy's face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. "I never thought about kids, you know, being dead and all. Until the Bit, never wanted one of my own. Now, " he said taking her hand in his and rubbing her stomach, "you've given me this precious gift, something that no evil thing like me should want or deserves." Buffy shuddered. She could feel his love radiating off of him, and it was amazing. "I love you so much." Okay," she thought, "that did it. If I don't love him, I'm a fool. Her heart was racing. Her mind was wheeling. She felt faint and dizzy.

"Spike, I.." She wanted to say more but Spike kissed her, his tears and hers mixing together. And then there was no need to talk, as their bodies spoke volumes. It had never been this slow, this awe-inspiring. Except that one time when she'd allowed him to make love to her. The emotions and feelings he'd stirred in her had terrified her with their intensity. As he lay in bed, sleeping peacefully, sated, she'd jumped up, grabbed her clothes, and fled the crypt, running as fast as her legs would take her.

Buffy ran her hand over Spike's shoulder, languidly. She felt good, and the reason for that was nestled quite comfortably at her neck. "You okay, down there? You've been uncharacteristically quiet." Spike laughed, and nipped the tender flesh at her neck.

"Still in shock, pet." Spike shifted till he was on his side, his head resting in his hand. "We're having a baby. You and me. Vampire and Slayer. Can't we ever just follow the rules, luv?"

Buffy ran her fingers through his mussed curls. "Nope. That's not our style." She leaned over and kissed him softly on the nose before continuing. "It's all I've thought about for the last 2 weeks. How did this happen?"

"Well, aside from trying really, really hard. I'm stumped." When she didn't respond back, he knew something was troubling her. Spike searched her hazel eyes, then glanced at the prophecies. "You're worried the baby will be evil, and you'll have to do another Acathla?" Buffy could do nothing but nod. Spike stroked her stomach, his heart overwhelmed with love for her, for his child. "Won't be like that, Buffy. We won't let that happen." Buffy laced her fingers with his, trying to believe him.

"I'm sorry. You must think I'm awful." Her bottom lip trembled, and Spike could tell she was fighting the urge to cry.

"Hey, now. I'm the evil one here, Buffy. Look at me." Buffy shook her head, stubbornly. "Fine, but listen carefully. I liked being evil. I was good at it, but you changed me. All that soddin goodness and light. I didn't want to, but you made me want to change. I wanted to be a better man for you. This child, our child, will have your goodness, your strength, your love. She'll never be evil. She has too much of you in her to be anything else."

"What about you?" Buffy asked, humbled by this creature of the night, her sworn enemy, her lover.

"What about me?" Spike asked defensively.

"Don't you think she'll have part of you in her too?"

Spike's eyes flashed with pain. His soullessness. She actually thought the baby would be evil because of him, because he didn't have a soul like the poofter.

Buffy shook her head. He was so easily hurt, and he thought he was the Big Bad. "Spike," Buffy sighed exasperated. "I'm not talking about you being evil, damnit! Do you think I'm blind? I know you've changed." When was the last time, she'd thought of him as being evil? She couldn't even remember. Buffy took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. It was now or never. "I look at you, and... all I see is this man who loves me, loves my sister, tolerates my friends." She had to make him see. "I should be thanking you. All the things I've done, and you never left. You stayed, and now, I'm going to have a baby. Our baby." Buffy wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

Spike was speechless. He didn't know what to say. She thought of him as a man. When had that happened. "I didn't think you even liked me." Spike said surprised.

"I like you. Sometimes." She said softly. Spike snickered. God help him, he loved her. "I know." He said, leaning over and sucking erotically on her bottom lip. Buffy threaded her hands through his hair and pulled him up to her mouth. The kiss was forceful and passionate. It spoke of a love both shared, but one of them was too afraid to admit out loud. Spike wanted to devour her. Buffy threw her head back, breathlessly. "No, we can't." She gushed, trying to remember why they couldn't continue. "I've got to go to work." She said, suddenly remembering she had a job. The only response from Spike was to slip further down her body, kissing her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, before latching on to a nipple. Buffy hissed in pleasure. When he looked up at her, his lips posed over her slightly swelled belly, his eyes had turned midnight blue with desire. He took her breath away. He gave her back her life. He gave her a child. Doublemeat could wait. She thought as her body arched into Spike's lips. Possibly forever.