Ch. 8
Dawn choked. Tara paled. Willow watched them closely. Buffy's pregnant. That simple statement was repeated over and over in her head, till she finally screamed at her mind to shut up.

"How long have you known, Willow?" Dawn asked. "Does Xander know?" Dawn looked at her sharply. "Does Xander know?" She demanded. Willow saw the determined look on Dawn's face, and took a step back. "No, he doesn't know. I just figured this out myself tonight. Why didn't you tell me?" She said, hurt and confused. Tara lowered her eyes, her guilt overwhelming.

"It wasn't our secret to tell. It still isn't." Dawn answered, seeing Tara struggle to answer. "You'll have to talk to Buffy, but know this, if you're going to criticize her for being with Spike, then don't. Buffy doesn't need your disapproval. She's got more than enough to deal with." Dawn lowered her head. "Look, Willow, Buffy loves you. She loves you so much she was willing to give up the one man who loves her unconditionally. They have a second chance now with the baby. Don't ruin this for them." Dawn shuffled her feet, embarrassed at her outburst. "I'm gonna order Chinese." She didn't wait for them to answer, but fled upstairs to her room.

"I'm sorry, Willow." Tara said meekly. Willow sat down next to her on the sofa. Willow looked at Tara's hands, which were clenched tightly together. She reached out and touched them, causing Tara to jump as if shocked.

"Baby, look at me." Willow cajoled. "I'm not mad at you. I know you had your reasons. I'm just a little hurt Buffy didn't trust me."

Tara's eyes flew to Willow. She turned her hand, so Willow's fell into hers. "It wasn't a matter of trust, Willow. Buffy didn't want to lose your friendship. She was afraid you'd be disgusted with her for getting involved with Spike. She thought you might look at her differently. She loves you and Xander so much."

Willow stroked Tara's fingers softly, reveling in being able to touch her again. "I wouldn't have judged. I would have been happy about the baby. Babies always make people happy." She chirped.

"Even if the father is a vampire." Tara remarked, trying to concentrate on the conversation and not the warmth emanating from her fingers.

"Oh, that. I..I want to say I understand why she slept with Spike, but that's not being truthful. I know Spike loves Buffy, but Buffy loving Spike. That's a stretch. I accept it. I would have been icked, because you know, it's Spike, but I would have accepted it. I've had to accept it. They've been all over each other these last few weeks. It's been pretty difficult to miss the sexual vibes."

Tara looked at her sympathetically. "Will, that one moment of ickiness, would have been crushing to Buffy." Dawn stood on the stairs, hidden from their view, listening to the conversation.

"I'm gonna tell you something. Something told to me in secret, but I think you need to know what Buffy's been feeling over these last five months." Tara sat up straighter, looking Willow straight in the eye. "Buffy has been struggling for months to get out of that coffin. The resurrection spell may have restored her body, but her soul was lost. We didn't understand or appreciate how devastating a change it was for Buffy. Spike understood. He understood everything Buffy was going through, and those things he didn't, he allowed her to work through them on her own. Spike didn't expect anything from Buffy. We did. We expected her to come back and be the Buffy of old. To be the sister, the friend, the Slayer. When in reality, she was a scared young woman having to face a world she had willing left behind." Tara paused briefly, gathering her thoughts. "Buffy started seeing Spike a few weeks after Sweet left town. He offered her an escape. She could feel any and everything with him, and he would take it because he loved her. But Buffy was lying to herself. She thought she had an out for wanting Spike. She thought she'd come back wrong. So if she was wrong, then there was an excuse for sleeping with Spike. But you see, Willow, there wasn't anything wrong with Buffy. And that shocked her. Shocked her so much because she realized what she was feeling, was real. That's when things got bad for them. She hated Spike for loving her. She hated herself for feeling anything for Spike. She hurt him, physically and mentally."

Images of Spike, his eye swollen shut assailed Dawn. She had asked him what had happened. He shrugged it off saying he got into a fight at Willie's. He lied to her. It wasn't another demon. It was Buffy. Dawn felt sick to her stomach, remembering how awful Spike had looked. "She could have killed him." She said loud enough for Tara and Willow to hear.

"Dawn, come here." Tara's gentle voice called. When Dawn had settled herself on the floor next to Tara, she continued. "Buffy hated what she'd become. In her mind, she had to be using Spike for sex, for comfort, for love. She never allowed herself to think of what she was doing as an act of love. So, she pushed Spike away, and she was miserable. Dawn's right. They have a second chance for happiness." Tara squeezed Willow's hand gently to let her know she understood what she was feeling. "I know you, Willow, you'd never intentionally say anything or do anything that would cause Buffy pain. I thought you should know what she's been going through these last months. Maybe, it'll help you to understand why she was so secretive about Spike, about her life.

Willow was finding it hard to keep from crying. Buffy had been hurting, dying a little each day, and she hadn't seen it. "I'm an awful friend. I should have seen it. I should have known what she was feeling." Willow sobbed.

"Willow, you know Buffy. She thinks she has to protect us from everything, even herself. I wasn't there for her either. I never looked at things from her point of view. It was all about my pain, my needs. For once, Buffy needed me, and I didn't see that. So, there's plenty of blame to go around." Tara smiled proudly at Dawn. She was slowly becoming the thoughtful, young woman Tara envisioned her to be. Joyce would be proud. She thought.

"Willow, Buffy needs you, not apologies. Nothing can change what's gone on in the past. We can only move forward. Buffy's having a baby, and it's a scary, wonderful thing." Tara placed her arm around Dawn's shoulders and gave her a quick hug. "Now, that you know, we can get down to finding out how this happened."

"Oh, my goddess!" Willow shrieked. "I totally forgot about that. Buffy must be freaked."

"She's freaked in a good way. She really wants this baby. So does Spike. But Buffy's worried about the Council and Warren. She's worried she'll have to choose between the baby and the world, like she did with Angel." Dawn's eyes lost some of their brightness. The baby had to be alright.

"I'll keep looking. Now, that I know what I'm really supposed to be looking for." Willow amended happily.

Willow giggled. A bemused Tara asked, "what?"

"Just realized why Spike's been uber-protective guy lately. He must be thrilled about Buffy and the baby."

"He is." Dawn answered, shifting around till she faced both Tara and Willow. "He's on cloud nine or higher. He's all into baby books, and everything. I'm going to get him a library card, so he'll stop swiping them. By the time the baby's born, he'll know as much as Dr. Schulz."

"You took her to Dr. Schulz?" Willow guessed it was for the best, but she still felt jealous and hurt that it wasTara doing these things for Buffy and not her.

Tara saw the look on Willow's face and sought to reassure her. "Buffy was worried about going to a regular doctor. I thought Dr. Shultz would be the best of both worlds." Tara felt awful. Tara knew she shouldn't feel guilty about lying to Willow. Buffy had needed her help, and she was there when Willow wasn't able to be. She wouldn't apologize for that.

"Hey, guys, since we are all with the revealing truths. I have another one. Anya knows." Dawn announced. "I ordered lots of veggie lo mein. Anybody care for some?" She said trying unsuccessfully to soften the blow.

"Damn, I was afraid of that." Tara's use of an expletive brought about a round of laughter from Willow and Dawn. It was a nice ice breaker from the tense moments of before.

"So..sorry." Tara stammered, a pretty blush creeping over her soft peach skin. Willow thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

Dawn sat back on her elbows, smiling at the picture in front of her. Willow and Tara were staring into each other's eyes, and Willow was drawing little circles in the palm of Tara's hand. Her family was finally coming together. She couldn't have been happier.

"Don't worry, Tara. Anya promised not to say anything. Oh, she did say Buffy and Spike weren't the first Slayer/Vampire couple to have a baby."

"Why didn't you say something sooner?" Willow demanded.

"Well," Dawn hedged, "you made your announcement and there was the little kidnapping thing this afternoon. It kinda slipped my mind. Okay!"

"Okay, Dawnie. It's okay. We know you've been through a lot today." Tara smiled as she tucked Dawn's hair behind her ear. "What exactly did Anya say about this Slayer?"

Dawn returned Tara's smile appreciatively. "She said there was a pregnant Slayer in France, before the Revolution. She didn't remember the exact year or anything like that."

"Did she know the girl's name?" Willow asked, fascinated and impressed with Anya's seemingly endless knowledge of all things.

Dawn shook her head. "No, she was there cursing somebody. She might know more, but you'll have to ask her. Do you want me to call her?" At their affirmative nods, she ran to retrieve the phone.

"Are we okay, Willow? I'm sorry I lied to you, but Buffy needed to keep this a secret. I know I betrayed your trust. I can't apologize enough."

"Tara, after all the things I've done to you, to Buffy, to Dawn, I can't judge any of you. I should be begging your forgiveness. I don't know how we got to this place in our lives. We used to be so close, now we seem so far apart. I hate the fact Buffy didn't feel comfortable sharing something this important with me." Tara wanted to comfort her, needed to. She opened her arms, and Willow fell into her embrace with a sigh. It was like coming home for both of them. It was so natural and easy to be with the other.

Dawn watched them, happy they had gotten past this small obstacle. Dawn pressed the speed dial button for the Magic Box, and waited patiently as Anya made her opening pitch. "Anya, it's Dawn. Yes, I know this is your busiest time of the evening, but Tara and Willow need to ask you some questions. Yes, Willow knows. She figured it out the same way you did. Yes, you beat her to the punch." Dawn covered the receiver and motioned for Tara to help her. "Yes, I'll tell them to make it quick." Dawn rolled her eyes, and gratefully handed the phone to Tara.

The doorbell rang, and Dawn jumped up to get it. Willow stopped her from yanking the door open. She peered out the side window and saw their regular delivery guy outside. Dawn gave Willow the money, and took the food back into the dining room. She and Willow set the plates out, while Tara finished up the call. "Dawnie, I could have paid for this. I know Buffy's going to need all the extra cash she can get for the baby." Dawn turned her head away, trying to hide the silly grin on her face. "Oh, we're good on the money issue. I had some left over from my monthly check from dear old Dad." There was no way, she was going to tell Willow there was a thousand dollars hidden in a shoe box in her room. Spike would definitely kill her if she let the cat out of the bag before he had a chance to explain things to Buffy.

Tara sat down at the table, chuckling.

"What did she say?" Willow asked, anxious to know what had Tara so amused. She scooped a large portion of Zeng's Tofu Delight onto her plate. Dawn curled her lip in disgust, and shoved a fork full of General Tao's Chicken in her mouth. Tara patted her back when she choked on a spicy pepper.

Once Tara was assured Dawn wasn't going to need the Heimlich maneuver, she answered Willow's question. "What didn't she say? First, she told me it wasn't nice to lie to your friends. Anya, then proceeded to tell me she was hurt that no one seemed concerned about her this afternoon, since she technically helped to rescue Dawn. Then, she gave me a little more information on the Slayer. She was French, and young. Anya said she definitely wasn't as old as Buffy when she conceived, so that rules out our theory about Buffy's age being the cause."

"Well, at least we know that much. It shouldn't be too difficult to find out who she was." Willow told them.

"Do you think her Watcher's diary will have any clues as to how this happened, besides the natural way?" Willow shrugged. "I don't know, Dawnie. He might have some information, but getting to it, may be kinda difficult."

"Why, honey?" Tara asked as she speared a shrimp with her fork.

"They keep those things locked up pretty tight. Remember, Dawn had to break into a locked cabinet to get to Giles'. Just think about the amount of security they'll place around something like that."

"Technically, I didn't break into anything. That was Spike." Dawn said in her defense. "I just directed him to the drawer." Both Tara and Willow smiled, glad they could laugh about it now.

"Do what you can Will. That's all Buffy wants. She doesn't want the Council finding out about this baby, till she knows what's going on. If she can prove to them the baby isn't evil, then maybe they'll leave her alone."

"She doesn't have to tell them Spike's the father. She can tell them anything to keep the baby safe." Dawn hated the Council. The only good thing the Council had done was to leave Buffy the hell alone.


That fucker. Like I would risk my child. Buffy fumed, silently. They'd driven down the alleys of the warehouse district for over an hour. Every once in awhile they would stop to check out a propped door or a busted light, but so far they'd found nothing. Not that Buffy would have noticed a big neon sign saying 'Dorks live here'. I would never endanger your life, little one. You're everything to me. Your daddy's just a jackass, that's all. Her breath caught as a sharp pain lanced through her stomach. Sorry, sorry. She whispered. Forgot how protective you are of him. Already, Daddy's little girl, aren't you. Buffy smiled, thinking of her father. At one time, she was the apple of his eye, before he became obsessed with his secretary. My daughter will never know that pain. She vowed. She knew she didn't have to worry. Spike would always love and protect their girl. Buffy wiped away a tear. She missed him. It had only been an hour, and she missed him. Oh, he'd love that. Buffy Summers pining for an evil, bloodsucking fiend. He'd never let her hear the end of it. God, she had it bad. Ain't love grand? Her mind taunted her. "Oh, shut up!"

"Did you say something, Buffy?" Buffy turned, startled. "Huh, ah, nothing, Xander. Just thinking out loud."

"About Spike? Hey, Peroxide Boy thinks he knows everything. He doesn't. You were right to not let him tell you what to do." Xander was more than happy with the present state of events. Buffy was pissed. She and Spike weren't talking. This was better than Xander could have imagined. He hoped, being away from Spike-eromes would clear her head, and bring Buffy back to her senses.

"I know he's concerned, Xander, but I can take care of myself. And..and I would never endanger her life. What the hell could he have been thinking?" Buffy put one manicured nail in her mouth and bit down, cursing the fact that Spike had driven her to ruin her manicure.

"I know. I'm kinda surprised he'd question your love for Dawn. You only died a year ago to save her."

Buffy grimaced. Poor Xander, he thought they were talking about Dawn, not her unborn child. Buffy knew she was only making the situation worse by keeping Xander in the dark about her pregnancy, but she just couldn't do it. Everyone else would be happy for her. Xander wouldn't, and Buffy didn't want to have to choose between her oldest friend and her lover and their child.

"He can be so infuriating. I don't know whether to kill him sometimes or ..." Buffy blushed thinking of other more pleasant things she could do and had done to Spike. Xander was looking at her expectantly, and she quickly sought to change the subject. "I just saw a light over there." Xander recognized the attempted ploy, and welcomed it. He had noticed the dreamy tone of Buffy's voice. He really didn't want to explore that particular train of thought anymore than Buffy did.

Xander followed Buffy's outstretched arm pointing to a warehouse on the right. He stared at the darkened windows, then saw the glint too. Xander pulled over and parked. He reached in the back seat and started rummaging through the weapons bag. Buffy had gotten out of the car and was checking the alley for any signs of life. Xander joined her and they both seemed to doubt what they'd seen earlier. "Good goobily goobily! It doesn't look like anyone's been around here in ages." Buffy silently agreed, but this placed seemed eerily familiar.

"This could be a glam spell to make it look abandoned. I wish Tara was here. If this is a spell, she could at least detect it, and make it go away." Buffy looked up at the expanse of windows. "Xander, give me a boost. I want to look inside." Xander cupped his hands, bracing his arms on his knees. Buffy stepped lightly up, and steadied herself on his shoulders. "Don't drop me." She warned, then realized that wasn't necessary. Xander wouldn't let anything happen to her, anymore than Spike would. But Spike has the strength and speed to catch us if I fall. She thought.

Buffy reluctantly wiped years of caked dirt off the window and peered inside. Empty boxes were strewn all over the place. Why is this place so familiar? Buffy made a mental note to ask Spike about this place later. He should at least have an idea since this area was where he and Dru set up shop all those years ago. Bitch! Buffy mumbled. Crazy, psycho... Wait! Her 1200 SAT brain reminded her. Psycho and crazy mean the same thing. The other less scholarly part of her brain answered 'Oh, bugger off.' Where was I? Buffy mused. Oh, yeah. Crazy, psycho, doll-loving bitch. If Dru knew what was good for her, she'd stay the hell away from Spike. I meant, Sunnydale. Her heart, which had been listening to the war of words by Buffy's mind, spoke up? Jealous much? Spike loves you and only you. Until Buffy felt the splinter go into her palm, she hadn't realized she was gripping the ledge so tightly. She looked down at the crumbling wood and felt better after imagining it was Dru's head.

Jonathan and Andrew were huddled together under the window, hoping Buffy wouldn't come inside. It Buffy's view hadn't been obstructed by Dru and the boxes stacked high around them, she would have seen signs that the Troika had indeed taken up residence in the building. Buffy took one final look, knowing there was something special about this particular building. "Okay, Xander, you can let me down." Xander gripped her tightly around the waist, as Buffy slid down to the ground. She smiled gratefully at him, then pulled out of his embrace. She gave a little shake, not of revulsion, but weirdness. It felt wrong to be pressed up against anyone, but Spike.

"Did you see anything?" Xander asked as nonchalantly as possible. For the first time, in a long time, he'd gotten a jolt from touching Buffy. She must have felt something too, because she jumped. Could Buffy be feeling the same thing for him too?

"Nope, nothing to see. A big, dusty room with a lot of boxes. I'll come back in the morning to check this place out. Something doesn't feel right. I'll ask Spike later." She shrugged her shoulders already dismissing the place.

"If you don't want to talk to him, I will." Xander volunteered. He had a few things to say to Spike, and this was the perfect opportunity. Or so he thought.

Buffy turned to look at him, bewildered. "Why wouldn't I want to talk to him?"

Xander stopped and stared at her. "I just assumed you had come to your senses and were ending this thing with Spike."

Buffy stopped by the car and looked at Xander. Why must the men in my life be so bull-headed? She asked the heavens. "Xander, Spike and I fight all the time. In comparison to some of our fights, this was pretty mild. Unless you see dust, don't assume anything. We're still together." Buffy was starting to get tired of explaining this to him. Nothing, short of death, was going to break them up.

Xander shook his head, disappointment oozing out of every pore. "I'm confused, Buffy. You wouldn't allow Angel, the supposed love of your life, to tell you what to do, but you'll let Spike. Riley wanted to protect and care for you, and you pushed him away. Spike does all these things, and all you can do is bat your lashes at him." Buffy squared her shoulders and tilted her head to the side. Xander started as if he was shocked. She looked so much like Spike, he wondered why he didn't notice it sooner.

"Don't stop now, Xander. Get it all out. I know we missed our morning lecture. I'm sure this has been building up." She remarked sarcastically. I'm surprised he's able to walk straight with that corn cob up his ass.

Xander saw the warning signs, heard the bells, but plowed ahead anyway. "I'm just confused, Buffy. You said you loved Angel. You cared deeply for Riley. Yet, they're both gone. So what exactly do you feel for Spike, besides lust? Do you love him?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say 'yes', to wipe that smug look off his face. She knew the truth. Hell, Spike knew the truth. It was just hard for her to say it without waiting for the train wreck that would follow. She didn't owe Xander any explanation. Why was it necessary to share her private life with him? It was between her and Spike. It was the smirk on Xander's face that decided things for her. "This is so none of your business, but I'll tell you this. Spike loves me. Me. I've never been involved in a relationship like this before. Not with Angel. Not with Riley. Spike truly loves me. He's not Angel." Buffy was surprised to find she didn't feel sad when she thought of him anymore. "Spike doesn't put me on a pedestal. I don't have to be perfect. I can be myself. When I was with Angel, I was always sad. We were like the Romeo and Juliet of the 90's. Well, guess what, Xander? Love isn't about dying for each other. It's about living each day with someone who loves you back. And Spike is so not Riley, thankfully. Normal. Who wants normal? Normal is boring. I'll never be normal. With Riley, that's all I tried to do. It was tearing me up inside. Why was I the one that had to change? Why couldn't Riley accept that I'm the Slayer?" Buffy leaned against the car. She wasn't mad or angry with Riley anymore. She didn't want that so-called normal life. She wasn't jealous or envious of what Riley and Sam had. Their sappy, too perfect relationship had made her nauseous, but at the time, she couldn't see what she had. She closed her eyes, seeing Spike's haunted look. She hated what she'd done to him. "Spike loves Buffy. Spike loves the Slayer. I don't have to choose one life over the other. And news flash, Xander, loving someone means accepting them as is, not trying to change them to fit your view of what's the perfect mate. I'm happy, and that's all that should matter. You should be happy for me because I'm truly happy." And she was. Despite the uncertainties, the unknown, she was really happy for the first time in over 2 years.

Xander winced at the barb directed at him about Anya. Hadn't Anya said the exact same thing? Hadn't he looked back over their years together and realized how he'd tried to change her? He still refused to believe that Spike could make Buffy happy. Spike was a vampire, and sooner or later, he was going to turn on Buffy. He just hoped she was able to do her duty and stake him before someone she loved got hurt.

"I'm going to Willie's. Hopefully, Spike's still there. We'll catch up with you at the Magic Box." Xander watched Buffy turn and walk away. He slammed his hand on the roof of the care, angry at himself for once again pushing Buffy towards Spike. Now, he had to go face the biggest failure of his life.


Spike grabbed Willie by the shirt and pulled him up and over the bar counter. "What do you know, Willie? And before you lie, know this: I've had a bad day, and you are such a rat, I doubt the chip would go off while I kicked the shit out of you." Willie gulped loudly. "C'mon, Spike. I wouldn't lie to you. We're buddies." Spike smirked.

"Okay, okay, we're not buddies, but I would tell you if someone was after the Slayer. I know the two of you are good friends." Willie would have winked, but Spike's eyes had gone yellow. "Look, Spike, I don't know anything." He said loudly enough for the demons close by to hear, but they couldn't see him shift his eyes towards the back room. Spike tilted his head in thanks, and dropped Willie, who stumbled back against the back bar. Spike grabbed a bottle, slipping Willie a twenty. He checked his back, saw no one behind him, and strode purposely to the card room. He leaned against the door, hearing muffled voices, 2 demon and 1 human. Spike opened the door hard, startling the occupants. Two huge, multi-horned Kalsta demons bolted out of their seats, shoving their human companion behind them. Spike's lip curl in a sneer. Warren. The little shit.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Spike said, loudly. "Warren, I hope you're not here planning my girl's death, because I'd hate to have to kill you." Warren didn't look like he believed Spike. "I'm lying, of course, but sue me, I'm a vampire." Spike entered the room, the bottle hanging loosely between his fingers. "Kalsta demons. Nasty sorts, aren't you? Mercenaries for hire. I hope Warren is going to pay you well. The Slayer won't go down easy. She won't go down at all, if I have anything to say about it. And I do. So why don't you gits, leave now, and you'll live. Stay here, and you'll die. I promise you." The Kalstas looked him over, sizing up their intended victim. To the casual observer, Spike looked loose limbed, almost bored with the situation. If Buffy had been there, she would have taken a step back, knowing Spike was about to wreck some serious havoc on them. Warren inched closer and closer to the door. He had no intention of allowing Spike or the Slayer to take him down. These demons were ruthless. Spike didn't stand a chance. With Spike out of the way, that only left Buffy's human friends to deal with, and next time he would be prepared for them.

Spike saw the little weasel at the door, and decided it was time to make his move. Flipping the bottle in the air, he sprayed the alcohol on the unsuspecting demons, causing them to howl in pain. He took a chair and brought it down on the head of the Kalsta on his right. Warren yelped and ran out the door into the parking lot. The failing arm of the other Kalsta caught Spike on the chin, knocking him down temporarily. By the time, he got up, all he could see were the tail lights of the van as it sped down the street.

"Fuck! That's just bloody great! Slayer's gonna kick my ass for sure. The little shit!" Spike patted his pockets for his cigarettes. Is nothing going to go right tonight? He thought. And the morning started off so nicely. He sensed the attack, and managed to get out of the way, but not entirely. The blow caught him on the flank, slicing him. He clutched his side, and saw blood dripping between his fingers. "You ripped my shirt, you bastard! Now, you have to die." Spike spun around, and jumped the Kalsta that had speared him. Taking his arm, Spike whipped him into the brick wall, knocking him unconscious. That left Spike with the other Kalsta, who seemed to be waiting for his chance to take him on.

"Oh, think you can take the Big Bad all by yourself?" The Kalsta sneered. At least, Spike thought it was a sneer. You could never tell with all that goo running down his face. "Come on, let's do this." The Kalsta roared and charged Spike. Spike met him halfway with a vicious kick to the stomach. The blow caused the Kalsta to stagger. Willie stuck his head cautiously out the door. He shrank back as the Kalsta picked Spike up and threw him against the dumpster. Now, don't get Willie wrong. He thought Spike was a swell guy, for a vamp, but he was glad this fight was taking place outside of his establishment. He'd miss Spike's money and wicked sense of humor, but he was a businessman after all. Willie pulled the door closed and locked it, whistling to himself as he strode back to the front of the bar. The tune died on his lips when he saw the blonde haired woman with her back to him.

"Oh, shit." Willie turned quickly, attempting to hide before she saw him. A hand clamped down strongly on his shoulder, yanking him back. "Willie, hiya doing?" Buffy asked, wondering if Willie's special brand of slime was contagious.

"Slayer, how ya doing? What brings you around these parts?" He asked, trying to ease his shoulder out of her grip. "Are you trying to run me out of business?"

Buffy smiled evilly. "Yep. Where's Spike?" She said seriously, looking around the now-empty bar.

"Go away, Slayer! You're bad for business. My customers don't like being threatened." He said steely, hoping his shaking knees didn't give him away for the coward he was.

Buffy sighed heavily, and squeezed Willie's shoulder, digging her fingers into the muscles there. "Don't make me ask you again, Willie! Where Is Spike?" Buffy punctuated each word with ever-increasing pressure.

"Out..out back with some Kalsta demons." He gasped from the pain. Buffy had never heard of a Shasta demon. She released him when she saw him about to embarrass himself by crying. Willie rubbed at his sore shoulder, positive he'd have bruises for weeks. "He interrupted their meeting, so they went outside to settle things. I'm telling you the truth. So, go, go get him."

Buffy smacked him in the nose.

"Oww! Oww! Whatcha do that for? I told you where he was?" Willie said as he pinched the bridge of his broken nose.

"For sending him back there, you little twerp. Besides, Willie", she whispered, "had to make it look good."

Spike fell to his knees, exhausted, and a little pissed it was taking this long to bring this guy down. He doubted the Kalsta would give up any information. They were notoriously tight-lipped about their business. Besides, he wanted to see Buffy, to put his hands on her and make sure she and Bitty Bit were alright. The Kalsta took Spike's momentary distraction as an opportunity to deliver a death blow. Spikes came out of his arm, not nearly as thick as the one on his head, but sharp enough to sever a particular blonde vamp's head from his body. All Buffy could think when she saw the demon swing at Spike, was "I'm gonna kill him!" Spike spun around when he smelled vanilla, and knew instantly that his Slayer was here. He hadn't expected to her to show up, but now that she was here, he was extremely pleased she'd sought him out. Now, if Buffy had known what Spike was thinking at this particular moment, she might have allowed the Kalsta one swipe at him.

The Kalsta attempted to dislodge her from his back, but Buffy held him tightly, slowly squeezing him till she heard his neck pop. She slid off as he crumpled to the ground, dead.

"We needed him alive, Pet! He met with Warren tonight." Spike screamed, his whole body aching to touch her. I need you alive. She thought, then remembered she was pissed at him for a whole lot of things. "I was trying to help, you ingrate! I should have let him kick your ass for what you said earlier." Buffy was careful not to mention the baby. That was all she needed for the demon pop of Sunnydale to discover the Slayer was pregnant.

"I'd say it again if it keeps you safe. By the way, luv, what the fuck are you doing here?" Spike screamed back at her.

Buffy put her hands on her hips, defiantly, but her eyes roamed over his body, making sure he wasn't hurt any worse than usual. "I hate you." She said with no venom.

"No, you don't, Pet." Spike answered with a smile as he limped over to a crate and sat down. Buffy joined him, sitting close enough that their hands grazed each other. "It'd be easier on both of us if we did."

Buffy guessed this was as good a place as any to make amends for earlier. "I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. I'd die protecting her."

"Me, too." Spike agreed, glancing at her from under his eyelashes.

"Don't want to die. No more death wishes for me. I kinda like what I have here." She said, taking his cool hand in her warm one, scorching him with her heat.

"I kinda like what I have here, too, Luv." Spike traced her cheek with his finger. Buffy leaned over and brushed her lips over his gently, quickly. It wouldn't be safe for them to indulge themselves outside in the open, but when they got home, that was another story all together. Buffy licked her lip, tasting Spike's blood on her tongue. Just like the man himself, it sent shivers of pleasure down her spine. She should have been grossed out by that, but she was learning to broaden her horizons.

"We can't. Not here." She said, kissing him one final time. "We have to get to the Magic Box before Anya curses Xander or worse." She felt Spike's laughter on her lips. "But then again, after what just happened, maybe I should let her give him something."

Spike hissed as he bent to pick up his coat, causing Buffy to look at him closely. "Let me see." She said, exasperated.

"I'm fine. Tell me what the whelp said to you." Spike pushed her hand away.

"Stop it, you big baby. Now, let me see." Buffy pushed her fingers under his shirt, tickling the skin. "Buff, if you don't stop, we won't make it to the Magic Box."

Buffy looked up at him coyly, but didn't stop her exploration. "You're bleeding, Spike." She said, her breath coming out in a rush. Spike pulled her close, his chin resting in her hair. "It's already started to heal. If you want, you can go a little lower, I've got something else that needs to be stroked."

Buffy leaned back, her ponytail falling between her shoulder blades. He was so good at being bad. How she went a month without him boggled her mind. Spike couldn't resist kissing her cute little nose. But he didn't want her in an alley, at least not this time. He wanted her stretched out on her nice comfy bed, where he could take his time memorizing her skin.

"Magic Box. Home. Bed."

"I know." She said disappointedly. They had to be responsible. They were going to be parents, not only to their own child, but to Dawn too.

"So, what did the whelp say to make you so mad?" Spike prodded. "It's about us, isn't it? Xander still can't accept that we're.." Spike stopped, unsure of what exactly they were. It seemed to change from week to week.

"We're together." Buffy finished for him. She slid her hand in his, a gesture she'd been doing a lot of in the last few weeks. It was a very couple thing to do.

"It wasn't anything he hasn't said before. No big deal. He doesn't know about little bit." She said borrowing his nickname for Dawn. "So he's gone super-protective and it's grating on my nerves."

Spike stopped. "Pet, Xander's problem is the fact he loves you. And not just in the friend kind of way. He loves you the way I love you. Forever."

Buffy was reeling from the forever comment, so it took a minute before she realized what he'd said. "No, he's not, Spike. Xander's my oldest friend. He thinks he knows what's best for me, based on the rousing success of my past relationships." Buffy pulled on Spike's arm to get him walking again.

"Believe that if it makes you feel better, Blondie. I don't really care two quid about Xander, but we can't go on like this. You need to come clean with him about Bitty Bit, and soon." Spike opened the door to the DeSoto and Buffy slid inside. Spike was wrong, wasn't he? The concept of Xander being in love with her was so far off-base, Buffy laughed.

"He's in love with you." Spike singsonged, slamming his door shut. "He wants you for himself. He wants to be your knight-in-shining-armor. He thinks if he waits long enough he'll be the long-haul guy. But you see, I've got him beat on longevity."

Buffy unzipped her jacket, never taking her eyes off Spike. "If I take my clothes off, would you please stop talking about Xander long enough to ravage me in the back seat of your car?"

Spike shrugged, nonchalantly, but Buffy knew better. "Well, if I must." He said, grabbing her.


Anya wrote the last entry in the ledger, and closed the book with a thud. The sound reverberated off the walls of the empty store, emphasizing the distance between the former lovers. Xander looked at her sharply, then returned to his vigil by the front window.

"If you're so worried about Buffy, go and look for her, but stop putting your fingerprints on my window. I just cleaned it." Xander sighed, frustrated.

"It's called being a friend, Anya. I should have never let her go off by herself. Warren's gunning for her, and I let her go off to Willie's.

"You didn't let Buffy do anything. She does what she wants. She's fine. If you don't believe me, go look for her. I can manage here by myself. Not like I haven't had to do it before." She muttered sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean, Anya?" Xander demanded.

"What it means it this. Buffy is the Slayer. She can pretty much take care of herself. She doesn't need normal guy to protect her from things that go bump in the night. If she runs into any real trouble, Spike will be there." Anya came from behind the counter, and stood with her arms crossed. "This is ironic. For three years, I played second fiddle to Buffy and Willow, and now, you're the one on the outside looking in at Spike and Buffy." Anya ran her hand through her blonde hair. "I feel sorry for you. I really do."

Xander looked at her with contempt, knowing she was right, but hating to hear it.

"Oh, stop it, Xander. You can hate the messenger, but listen to the message. Buffy loves Spike. She isn't going to wake up one day, and go, 'Golly gee, look what I've been missing all these years. I should have been with Xander.' You will always be Buffy's friend, nothing more. For most people that would be enough, but not for you. You're willing to ruin a good friendship, because you can't control your emotions."

"Shut up, Anya!" Xander shouted and walked away from her, knowing if she said one more word, he would smack her. Oh, my god, he thought. That's what my father would have done. He would have hit Mom to shut her up. He looked back at Anya, but she was busy placing some books in a bag. He saw his wedding day vision. Anya dead by his hand, and why? Because she had said something about Buffy. It all came back to Buffy. What was happening to him? He was turning into his father. The drinking. The irrational anger. It was all too much to think about. That vision seemed more truth than fiction, now.

"Truth hurts, doesn't it." Anya said as if reading his mind.

Just then, Spike and Buffy walked in. They were the perfect contrast to Anya and Xander.

"I don't remember doing that." Buffy said, rushing in ahead of Spike.

"Just because you don't remember it, doesn't mean it didn't happen, luv. I've got the marks to prove it." Spike quipped.

The silence of the room was so apparent, Buffy didn't respond to Spike's teasing. She looked at him, and saw the same expression on his face. What the hell did we walk into? She mouthed.

"Hey, guys. Sorry, we got delayed."

"Let's go." Xander said abruptly, pushing past Buffy.

"Xander?" Buffy asked to his departing back. Spike saw her face shadowed with guilt and concern, and wanted to smash Xander's face.

It wasn't usually Anya's thing to comfort others, but she was sick and tired of Xander's guilt trips on Buffy. "Look, Buffy, you can't fix what's wrong with Xander. Just concentrate on your own life, and let him figure his out. That's what I'm doing. Nothing is going to work for Xander until he confronts some truths about himself."

Spike could have kissed her. Buffy acknowledged the truth in what Anya was saying. She couldn't make Xander happy, by making herself miserable. "I know you're right. I just hate seeing him so angry."

Spike cupped Buffy's face, stroking her cheek lightly. "Let's go home to the Bit."

Buffy closed her eyes, taking in Spike's strength and love. It was like a rush of adrenaline. "Yeah, let's get back to Dawn."

"Uh, luv, you might want to ride with the whelp. My car isn't in the best of shape." Buffy lowered her eyes, but her suddenly red face gave her away.

"So, while I was here, getting the cold shoulder from Xander, the two of you were having fantastic car sex." Anya pulled the door shut, locking it. Buffy refused to look at her, and Spike couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, at least, someone's having great sex. I'm still riding with you. Just tell me where not to sit."

Buffy wished the earth would just open up and swallow her. Her face burned with embarrassment, but she was the only one. Oh, no, the demons just thought it was the most natural thing to discuss their sex lives. "I'll sit in the back, Anya. If either of you makes one comment, one little crack, I'm may kill you." She screamed. Spike and Anya hid their grins, but once Buffy slid in the back, Anya gave Spike the thumbs up sign.