A/N: Sorry for the tardiness of this chapter... I've had the unfortunate misfortune to have o lot of work. Then, when I do get a moment peace, My bloody hard drive crashes and burns! I all but wept for all my lost info. I had to search high and low for my secret back up floppies. Let me tell you, that was not fun. A lot of my stuff I had to redo from my save-points. I'm having my peeps attempt to rescue as much from the corrupted disc as they can. All I can do right now is sit tight and cross my fingers.
Major Warning! (Semi) Explicit Non-Con ahead!
(And an explicit (consensual) sex scene)
First Time for Second Chances
Chapter Two
We just lay, side by side, on my bed. The warmth of his skin, his scent, the steady rhythm of his heart... It feels so right. I look into his eyes, afraid of what I'll see, but having to see it nonetheless. The lust, the carnal hunger I expect to see isn't there. All I see is concern.
The moonlight softens everything. I feel as if I'm in a dream. A smile passes over my stoic lips at the thought. I move closer to Jack. The warmth of his body is the only thing keeping away the midnight chill.
His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me to him. A chaste kiss on my neck sends a warm shiver to shoot down my spine. I'm already all but on top of him, but I need still need to get closer...
"Please..." I don't know what I'm asking of him, the word just slipped out. His hand runs up my bare back, entangling in my hair. His other arm holds me to him. The pressure of his body is both terrifying and enticing. My heartbeat, which had almost returned to normal, quickens again.
His eyes bore into me, seeking permission. I press my lips to his, as my hands trail along his chest. The sensation of his skin on my own, the heat of his body contrasting with the cold air, is overwhelming.
I lay back onto my bed, drawing him onto me. I can't hide forever. Not my... lack of innocense... I need to get over my fear. I can't do that if I never face it. And Jack is the best person I could ever think to prove my fear unfounded. Better with someone I trust... someone I love... than some stranger in Tortuga.
"Jack, please..." I can barely hear my own voice. I'm torn between fear and need... Lust... And I can see that my Captain feels the latter, as well. I have to. It's not right to taunt him... Doubt fills my mind.
Did I taunt Barbossa, too? Was it my fault that he... did that to me? The cold ghost hands grab at me, again. I fall into the paralysing memory of the Black Pearl's former First Mate.
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I can feel the warm blood dripping from the wound across my chest... I can feel Barbossa's groping hands... His vicious words once more echo in my ears... His strength, holding me down effortlessly... Though I thrash with all my might, I'm still trapped beneath him. My clothes lay in ruins at the foot of the bed... My screams are muffled by his vile mouth upon my own... He strips so quickly. Nothing between us but a sheen of sweat... I feel so helpless... My heart is nearly choking... I bite down on his lip... Metallic blood spilling into my, now free, mouth. Jack's name is all that escapes my lips, in an earsplitting scream, before a dirty hand covers them. And then pain... As if I'm being torn from the inside out... My tears flow freely, landing on my open wound. Each teardrop that lands on the broken skin burns. But the pain caused by the monster on top of me is far worse. I concentrate on the feel of my salty tears mingling with my blood. I can still feel the nightmarish event, but it's more like it's not me that it's happening to...
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A deafening scream returns me to the here and now...
The shock and worry in Jack's eyes snaps my back completely. The scream I heard was my own... "I'm sorry..." I can feel my skin flush with embarrassment. Of all times, why did I have to have a flashback now?
Jack sits up, taking his comforting warmth with him. I'm so cold... "No need to apologize." I can see the haunted look in his eyes. "I was the one who scared you, not the other way around,"
I reach my arm out to him. I need him to hold me. I need his comfort. "Please... Don't go... I..." My words catch in my throat. "I need you... Just... Just hold me?" I feel so weak, so timid. But I don't care. All that matters is that he stays here. With me...
"I will. But first, you have to do something for me." He returns to my side, holding me to him.
"Anything..." As soon as I say it, dread fills my mind. I begin wondering what he has in mind.
(You mean whether he's planning what Barbossa did?)
Not again! I was beginning to hope the Voice was gone...
(No such luck, I guess)
"Just tell me what's wrong? The voice can' be all of it. Why were you screaming?" He brushes a strand of tangled hair out of my face. The care in his expression is making it difficult to keep up my lie. But how can I tell him? "Please..." Now it's his turn to entreat to me. And what can I say?
"I saw something... In my head..." I'm trying to tell him the truth, without mentioning Barbossa. "The Voice was torturing me... I'm fine... Really. Just... Just hold me? Forget about the whole thing." My embarrassed laugh is only half fake. "I'm trying to..."
(Oh, I like to think I'm at least somewhat memorable...)
Jack held me tighter. "You're shivering... That's not all of it." After a moment's silence, he finishes. "But I'm not going to pry. It's your business. If you don't trust me with it, I'll accept that."
Guilty tears sting my eyes. I want so badly to tell him. But what if the Voice is right? What if Jack leaves me when he finds out? I don't think that I can stand returning to the cold after feeling his warmth.
(Why don't you see? Find out how he'll react. Tell him. I bet it'll be a laugh to watch him walk out while you're completely naked.) The malicious laughter that follows Voice's words sends a tremor racing down my spine. 'Why are you doing this to me?' (Because I can...)
"Ana?" Jack's voice breaks through the one in my mind. "What's the voice telling you, now?" The tears stream from my eyes once more. "Don' let yourself listen to that mental menace. Your own voice is the only one you should heed. And mine when we're above-deck, of course." I smile at his return to daftness. "That's better. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to drown us all with those tears..." I laugh.
I lightly punch his arm. "You're a daft fool at times."
He places a chaste kiss on my lips before responding. "An' you're being a daft fool for letting the daft fool in your head tell you what to do. Do ye see me letting the voices in me head run me life?" I shake my head. "Then why are you? Just ignore 'im. He'll go away eventually. Right now..." He kisses down my neck. "Let your heart take control."
My fear is still there, but I push it down... He needs this as much as I do. And I'm not going to let some stupid Voice run my life. I reach for his britches, intent on making him as vulnerable... as exposed as I am.
"Allow me." His hands move mine aside. He slides the last piece of clothing off, and tosses it into the pile with the rest.
I run my hands along his body, avoiding his most private part. I don't know... I just can't touch it. Just the feel of it against my leg is... strange. It feels so... disturbing. I feel embarrassed just coming into contact with it.
Jack takes my hands in his own, gently guiding them to the one place I'm most afraid to feel. "You don't have to be afraid... I'm not goin' any farther than you can handle..." He wraps my hands around it... I force myself to follow through. I'm thirty-eight... And I'm still almost a virgin.
(Almost only counts in horseshoes...)
Fine. I'm thirty-eight and have only had sex once. And never willingly. The point is that I need to do this. I need to find out what it's like... What it's really like... To make love.
He kneels above me, leaning over me. All of his weight is on his left hand. His right one burns a trail along my body, from my breasts to my legs. The path his hand takes follows the curves of my body. His hand brushes my inner thigh, and my legs instinctively close tighter. I have to consciously open them to grant him better access.
My own hands caress the muscular chest above me. A life at sea has agreed with the Captain. His muscles are well toned. His skin is soft and tough at the same time... Like the sea herself...
My mind focuses on the sensations of his flesh. Not his hand between my legs... I'm just trying to ignore the fear and pleasure building within me... Not the heat spreading along my body from my centre... All my attention is on his scars... Their feel,... Their colour... Their texture... Their...
A bolt of pleasure fires through my limbs. The hot delectation that shot through me hit lightning fast. My body jerks in response...
He hasn't even entered me yet... How could he possibly create so much elation with just his hand?
I try to return my focus back to my exploration of his body... His scent is a mixture of the ocean, rum, and sweat... His skin glistens in the moonlight... The smooth expanse of his torso... His
A sharp, stabbing pain... It feels like I'm being gutted... Like with Barbossa... I thought it was supposed to feel good...
There's a throbbing pain now, emanating from where Jack and I are joined. He's motionless above me, watching my body-language carefully. The pain begins to ebb, slowly fading... His eyes scan mine, awaiting my signal to resume I nod when the pain is lessened enough to continue...
He starts a rhythm, his motion causing my pleasure to build again... My fear falls away as we join completely... I match his rhythm, as naturally as if we were made for each other...
Our breathing speeds up, as does our movement. The faster we move, the faster we need to move. My arms and legs wrap around Jack. I feel as if I can't get close enough... Soon, it becomes difficult to tell where he starts and I end. And still I need to get closer. I can hardly breathe... I'm unable to take in air fast enough.
"Jack!" His name is more gasped than spoken. Somehow, I'm on top now... I pull him as deep into me as I can get. The pleasure building is immense... I feel like I'm going to explode... My body begins shaking with the need for release, yet still I build it further. My body finally defeats me... My entire body contracts... The pleasure erupts over me in waves. I collapse upon Jack's chest, exhausted, and throbbing with a pleasure that fills every inch of my body.
Jack's body tenses beneath me. I can feel the warm rush of the fluids he releases within me. My entire body is weak, unable (and unwilling) to move. Jack kisses my sweat covered forehead and we fall into a euphoric slumber, as the haze of predawn fills the window...
The End
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Sorry for the pervitude there at the end... They got very eager to get busy... I tried to clean it up without losing too much of the quality. Those two didn't make it very easy for me. As always, R&R! 'Til next time, TA!
