Disclaimer – I do not own Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time or any materials relating to the Novels.

Mat takes off away from the fabric store, down the cracked sidewalk at full speed. He knows there is only one man that can assist him in his time of "need." He dodges a hobo's slashing knife and his eyes widen as a nine year old boy on a bicycle bursts passed.

"Ah, bitch!" Mat growls as the rear wheel slams over his white FUBU sneaker. The kid breaks across the sidewalk, skidding down three feet before he stops. Mat inhales furiously and stomps towards the big eared kid.

"You called me what?" The boy jumps off the bike, kicking the kick-stand behind him and Mat stops at the fury in his eyes, "You got in Pips way and then you curse me!" Mat raises an eyebrow, wondering if the boy has a concealed weapon.

"Wait, 'Pips'? You named your bike! What a loser!" Mat grabs his middle in laughter and the boy begins quaking in anger. His two hands clinch into fists and the vein in his forehead begins protruding.

"Oh no, Olver baby, he's not worth it, daddy!" A woman's musical voice rings out and Mat hops away as a beautiful, ample bosomed woman rushes passed. She wears a tight black mini skirt, black heeled boots, and a red furry boa.

"Ah, Riselle, why are you off the corner?" Olver asks reproachfully and Riselle kneels down through a pout, massaging Olver's cheek with the back of her hand,

"I'm sorry, daddy, but I was lonely…" She whines and Mat's mouth widens,

"Wut da f'ck! Why da hell do you get dis fine honey! Yo weapon aint even loaded!" Olver looks over and Mat hops back from the fierce glare.

"You don't know shiat bout my weapon, son! And if I see yo ass around my hood again, it's over for ya!" Mat holds his hands up and nods through an apology.

Olver scoffs and hops back on his bike with Riselle behind him, flashing ample thong-age sitting over the rear wheel. Olver kicks the stand up and takes off,

"I'm Olver James, bitch!" The words ring in the air as the bike zooms away and Mat exhales exasperatedly, furious at the world for dealing him a bad hand. He reluctantly turns around and continues on his way.

Mat walks for half a mile before reaching his destination, a wooden log cabin of a so-called brothel that is run by a man who once bagged a Queen. Mat walks up to the single guard, a young man holding his long, slender staff of wood.

"Sup, Juliun." Mat nods upwards and Juliun nods back, stepping away from the door to allow entrance, "Where's your girl?"

"Who, Thera?" Juliun asks and Mat nods his head, "Rosebud mouth? Dark black hair? Always pouting? Yea, she's off masquerading as Liandrin."

Mat steps through the cabin door and a tight faced, silicon injected slut reaches out for him.

"Gah, back up, ho!" Mat dodges her fake nailed claw and rushes through the sparkling hallway which is lined with pictures of the proprietor's numerous adventures.

He finally reaches the door and knocks for permission,

"Sir, it's important!" Mat yells and he hears a loud cough and then the answer from a gruff voice,

"Enter, young one." Mat sighs that he'll be seen without an appointment and opens the door.

The master pimp, Thom lies on a harp shaped bed with his two honeys next to him, fine ass Dena and Moraine with a ball-gag in her mouth since she's alright when she's not talking. They each have one of Thom's long mustaches over their nakedness, but Mat knows not to look.

"What have you come for, young one?" Thom asks omnisciently and Mat bows down at the foot of the bed,

"Uncle Thom, I have a dilemma. I can't keep this older woman from touching me. But she's my boss so—"

"Your boss?" Thom interrupts and Mat nods, "She's fat and bald with bunions with their own time zones?" Mat shakes his head and Thom scratches his bald head, "She's not ugly?"

"Not really…but that's not the point, she's—"

"Not the point?" Thom asks through sardonic snickering and Mat looks back through confusion, "You have a hot, well experience mamita at your disposal, everyday you at work and you're complaining?"

"Well—"

"You soil the name of us Pimps, Mat!" Thom demands through disappointment and Mat winces, "Get out of my sight before you start working here as a Eunuch!"

"Gah, sorry!" Mat grabs himself subconsciously and bolts out of the room. He dodges another fake-ass whore and rolls out the door, panting and sweating, relieved that Thom didn't have his men give chase. Juliun looks down at him and shakes his head through pity.

"At least my wooden shaft isn't thumb thick, damnit!" Mat yells and sprints away from the 'establishment'. No way in hell is he going back to the store, so he figures he can pick up some comfort booty at the motel. As he reaches it though, Setalle Anan stands outside and holds her hands up to Mat.

"You're not still mad are ya, Mrs. Beautiful?" Mat grins his best grin and Setalle snickers,

"Whether I am or aint, you aint coming back in here. That store you work at, the manager paid me 400 bucks to kick you out. Easiest decision ever." Mat's mouth drops in astonishment, how Tylin could be so evil.

"Where the hell am I supposed to live now?" Mat thinks out loud and Setalle shrugs indifferently,

"Not my care or problem. She said you could live with her." Mat shakes his head fervently and steps away, just in case she's still angry. Ideas spin through his head but he comes up blank. Unless…

Mat knocks on the apartment door casually, trying not to seem desperate, and he puts on his best smile as the door opens, revealing the tantalizing long haired Aludra, dripping wet and wearing a short, pink bathrobe.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite girl." Mat smirks and leans against the wall next to the door and Aludra raises a suspicious eyebrow,

"Favorite is it? I doubt that. What do you want, Matrim?"

"Well I know the craving has set in so I decided to pop on over, ya know, to fulfill your—"

Aludra doubles over in uncontrollable laughter, leaving Mat wide mouthed and angry. He fumbles for words as she continues the discourteous display, but nothing seems to come out. He decides to enjoy her bent state while he can, but quickly pulls his eyes away as she straightens,

"Mat, you took me to see that damn Alone in the Dark movie, thinking it was a 'Sensual Thriller'. The worst day of my life, you gave me, what 'craving' are you talking about?" Mat sighs and shrugs his shoulders, trying to seem pathetic,

"Listen, I'm in a tough situation right now and I thought, old friends could uh…well, can I bunk here for a few days?" Mat prepares for the laughter but his guise seems to have worked, leaving Aludra biting her lower lip. Mat leans in further, ready to work up tears if necessary but she finally answers,

"Ya know, I would, but I need…uhhh, I'm waiting for a Bellfounder. Ya…he's gonna use my spare room…"

"Say wut!" Mat yells and Aludra hops back, "A bellfounder! Thaz da best you culd come up wit! Don be mak'n up wurdz juz cuz ya—"

"Damnit, Aludra, the water's getting cold and the bubbles are-" Mat looks over Aludra's shoulder for the source of the man's voice that interrupted him. Aludra swallows and steps out of the way to reveal the handsome Moridin, leaning against the wall baring all his sinewy glory.

"Woah." Mat says, almost considering asking to join in on the fun, but not for Aludra.

"Ah, didn't know we had company. Sup, Mat?" Moridin steps forwards and holds his closed fist out. Mat smirks and hits his fist into Moridin's,

"Well now I know why Aludra made that dumbass excuse. Wussup, Playa?"

"I aint a playa, I just crush a lot." Moridin wraps his arms around Aludra with a smug grin and she blushes.

"So where's your Lolita prize? Leave her at the park?" Mat asks through a good natured chuckle and Moridin snickers deviously,

"Nah, man, that lil whore thought she was still in charge so I kicked her ass back to Shayol Ghoul! Shaidar Haran's terrifying glare will give her nightmares as she spends the rest of eternity bouncing up and down on his lap."