Aburatsubo hesitated on his door step, uncertain as to what to do. Normally, they would say goodbye and he would step inside, and that would be it.
But they had kissed now.
Would Takeo give him the tradition goodbye kiss that couples usually shared after a date?
It seemed amazing, how quickly they'd come along in such a short time. Takeo had held his hand, and kissed him. He'd done it all on his own, without Aburatsubo having to try. In fact, he'd been shocked both times, not having expected it.
What was going on in his boyfriend's mind? Just a few days ago, Aburatsubo could of sworn that things weren't going to work out. Now, Takeo was taking the initiative. Of course, the black-haired youth was still as shy as he'd been before, tensing when Aburatsubo had taken his hand on their way home.
But he hadn't pulled away.
Aburatsubo couldn't be happier. Really, he wouldn't be too disappointed if Takeo didn't kiss him goodbye. The other had already given him so much in just a few days. But he still wished for it with all of his heart.
"Ah, well, I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow. We've got Magic Club up on the roof too, to practice that new spell," Takeo said quietly, not meeting his eyes.
"Right, I'll remember," Aburatsubo promised, despite the fact he'd never once forgotten one of their meetings. He could see the uncertainty on Takeo's face as he shuffled his feet, as though he were going to step away but his feet wouldn't let him.
The moment seemed to hang, until Takeo finally looked up to meet Aburatsubo's eyes. The brunette smiled softly, but didn't move. He wanted to show Takeo that, while he wanted the kiss, he wouldn't pressure him for it.
And, strangely, that seemed to help Takeo relax. He returned the small smile, stepping forward and lifting his face to meet Aburatsubo's. The taller boy gave a happy sigh as he let his lips brush against his boyfriend's, losing himself in the feel of it. He'd never thought that a kiss could really feel so wonderful. The quick pecks he'd stolen before had not felt even close to as good as these ones did. It was remarkable, how much of a difference it made now that Takeo really did want to kiss him. It made it so he didn't have to pull away after a half a second, made it taste that much sweeter, made it all that much more special.
All too soon, Takeo pulled away. Aburatsubo resisted the urge to recapture his mouth, forgetting all about it when he saw the heated look in Takeo's eyes. He really did like this, Aburatsubo thought. It wasn't just something to make Aburatsubo happy, he really was enjoying it.
He smiled, lifting a hand to let his fingers trail down Takeo's surprisingly soft skin. "Thank you, Takeo. For everything. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he said.
The black-haired youth blinked at him, then smiled and nodded. "Right, see you then. And remember that we're going to the park on Sunday."
Aburatsubo lifted a brow. "We are?" he questioned, not recalling the date. Then he realized and he had to keep himself from grinning like a fool. "Right, I'll be ready after lunch."
"Right, see you then," Takeo said, stepping back slowly. Then he blushed, and turned on his way home.
Aburatsubo couldn't keep the grin off his face as he slipped into his house. It was amazing, he thought with a sigh. How could anything become more perfect than a night like this?
"Ah, you're up here early!"
Takeo snapped out of his thoughts, looking up to see Sae step out of the stairwell that lead up to the roof. He was surprised and glanced at his watch. It was almost the end of the school day! He'd been sitting up here, lost in his thoughts, all through after noon classes!
"Damn, I'm going to get in big trouble for this," he groaned.
"What do you mean?" Sae questioned, sitting down next to him.
He gave her a sheepish look. "I just came up here for lunch, to think. I guess time got away from me. What about you?"
"My last class was just a study class, and the teacher let us leave early since it's a Friday. Thinking about your situation with Aburatsubo?" Sae asked.
Takeo felt his cheeks heat as he nodded. Funny, how just a short while ago he would of been all caught up in her every movement. Sae was still a pretty girl, her innocent and cheerful face carrying a light that was impossible to ignore. She would always be someone who was important to him, especially now that the tension between them had been stripped away. They had lost their formalities as they became friends, real friends now. It was something that allowed the Magic Club to work much better, the fact that the four of them, and Akane when she happened to show up, no longer held the formalities that had kept them separated before. He hadn't thought there would be any difference, but now he knew that they'd been friends without holding any of the closeness which friends usually did. Now, Takeo knew that he'd gained friendships that would last a lifetime.
How could he of ever thought he was really attracted to her in that way? He'd always been a hormonal youth, had let his thoughts get carried away with themselves at times, but it couldn't of really meant anything if he could so easily push it to the side. When Sae had told him that she didn't love him, that she loved Nanaka, in that moment he'd thought that he would never recover.
But the world hadn't come crumbling down. He'd been disappointed, but it had been all too easy to recover. He couldn't kid himself into thinking, now, that he'd truly loved her. His heart, always, had belonged to someone else. Whether he'd wanted to admit it or not.
And, actually, he was glad. He wouldn't have these new friendships if the four of them hadn't dealt with the confusing mass that was their emotions. And he wouldn't know what it looked like, the expression of pure happiness on Aburatsubo's face.
"In days like these, would it be anything else?" he admitted with a sigh.
Sae nodded, resting her chin on her knees. "I've talked with Aburatsubo about it too, and Nanaka, when I can gain up the nerve. Dating is so much more complex than I would of thought before. When I can do this, when I can do that, and trying to keep myself from looking like an idiot."
"But Nanaka loves you. She might not of said anything yet, but you can see it in her eyes. Especially now, that she isn't so guarded with her emotions. Before, I don't think I would of thought it possible. But now I can see the way her eyes soften, the way she blushes when you hold hands. Things are going well, Sae."
"Well, yes, I suppose. She'll hold my hand when we walk around now, although I've accidentally knocked her down a few times because of it. She says it's all right, but it's still embarrassing."
Takeo laughed. "I know what you mean. I haven't actually done it, but I worry about it. I know that Aburatsubo wouldn't care, just like I know Nanaka doesn't care when you make such a mistake, but it's still humiliating, isn't it?"
Sae gave him a long look. "Honestly, I thought things would be easier for you. I mean, it wasn't like it was a big secret that Aburatsubo liked you. He's already kissed you so often and things like... Well, you know, when he'd jump on you and stuff."
Takeo shook his head. "It's not like that. Before, he was just trying to get my attention, or get a reaction out of me. Now, it's actually romantic, and that makes it all different. I know that he already loves me, however in the world he ever could-"
"When someone loves you, your faults don't matter. Takeo, you should know that Aburatsubo doesn't care about the things that you see wrong in yourself. He loves you despite them," Sae interrupted with a firm tone.
The young man gave her a side look. "You say it so easily, but you're just as insecure with yourself with Nanaka. You just told me so. If you're going to say something like that, then you have to realize that it stands true for you too," he pointed out.
Sae flushed, but agreed. "I know. It's just hard, to try and push them aside."
Takeo nodded, sighing as he leaned back against the wall of the stairwell door. "He's had dreams about me, you know. I've stayed the night often enough, and I've woken up with him staying my name in his sleep," he confessed quietly, his face heated. "What if I don't live up to his expectations? I mean, how can I compete with a dream-image of my own self? In dreams, everything is perfect. In real life, there's no way I could ever live up to that."
"You never know," Sae replied slowly. She gave him a bright smile. "How do you know what is in his dreams? Maybe, to him, you'll be just as perfect in real life."
Takeo laughed at this. "I'm far from perfect!"
"Well, no one is perfect."
"He is," Takeo said with a sigh. "He never does anything he's embarrassed about. He always knows exactly what to say and do in every situation. He's got top marks in every class that he's taking, masters the magic just as fast as I do even though I'm the one teaching him. He never does anything wrong."
Sae looked at him for a long moment. "I think, before you'll ever be able to be truly comfortable with your relationship, you need to bring him off that pedestal," she commented.
Takeo gave her a surprised look. "Pedestal?" he echoed.
She nodded, turning to face him fully. "Aburatsubo's just a regular guy, Takeo. I'll admit that it's hard to remember sometimes, when you see him ace another test or when he walks into the room without a hair out of place. But he told me one day that things like that are just a cover, they don't really mean anything, to the person he is inside. He's just as insecure as anyone else, uncertain of his place in the world and with you."
Takeo was quiet for a long moment as he let that sink in. He felt his stomach drop, and suddenly he was ashamed of himself. How could he of been so shallow? Aburatsubo was his best friend, his longest friend, and he'd always thought he knew the other better than anyone else. How could he of let himself be taken over by the masks Aburatsubo wore, and think of him as something almost inhuman? He'd never realized, not even over the last few days as he'd seen Aburatsubo's delight in the simple pleasures of holding hands or a innocent kiss, that his friend really was a teenage boy, dating for the first time, and may of been just as uncertain with himself as Takeo was. He'd let himself be caught up in the elegant way Aburatsubo moved, in the grades and nice clothes and seemingly effortless beauty.
"I don't know when it happened," Takeo admitted out loud, "the moment when I started to see him as something higher than human."
"Well, it's not necessarily a bad thing," Sae comforted. "Everyone thinks highly of the person they love, able to see passed the faults and focus only on the good. To you, someone who loves Aburatsubo, no one would ever be as wonderful as him. You just need to realize that, to him, it's the same. Probably, he has you on some kind of pedestal of his own."
"Whoa, wait for a second. I didn't say I was in love with him," Takeo sputtered.
Sae blinked at him, then tried to smother a laugh behind her hand. "It's rather obvious, Takeo. Not as much as with Aburatsubo, but you can't pretend otherwise."
Takeo's eyes went wide. He'd carefully avoided 'love' when he thought of the other, certain that he couldn't of fallen so soon into their relationship. How could it of been so obvious to anyone else, when it wasn't to him!
Sae saw his expression and laughed out loud this time. "Don't look so shocked! It's perfectly all right to be in love with your boyfriend! I'm sure, when you finally accept the fact, Aburatsubo will be over joyed."
Takeo snapped his mouth shut to his reply when he heard the door click open. Sae quickly composed herself as Nanaka and Aburatsubo came around the corner. "Hey, you certainly got up here quickly. I thought we'd be first, coming straight from class," Nanaka greeted, holding out her hand to help Sae to her feet. The auburn haired girl smiled and took the hand, which she held even after she was on her feet.
"I had a study class my last period," she replied, and the two girls wandered away a little as they talked about their classes that day.
"You weren't in fourth period. Are you feeling okay?" Aburatsubo asked, a concerned look on his face as he stepped up to Takeo.
The youth pushed himself up, brushing off his pants. "I'm fine, I just got busy with something," he said evasively, not wanting to admit he'd been thinking about the other to the point that he'd forgotten about his classes.
He almost jerked his head away when he felt Aburatsubo's fingers brush against his cheek but stopped himself before he could. It was a reaction he was slowly gaining control of. He always felt it like a kick in the stomach when he saw the disappointment on Aburatsubo's face, and he wanted to get used to the casual touches that couple's usually shared. He didn't mind it at all, actually, it was just a conditioned response that he was struggling to get rid of.
Partially because of that 'pedestal' Sae had mentioned. Disbelief that someone like that would want to touch him. But if Aburatsubo was touching him, it was because he wanted to, and Takeo had to get it through his own thick skull that it was just a casual gesture of caring, not anything else.
They needed to wait until the school cleared out as much as possible, save for those who were staying behind for their own club activities. It was unlikely that someone would be able to see them all the way up on the roof, but they still need to be careful. Magic was something that needed to be introduced slowly into the world, judging by people's reactions the few couple of times things had gotten away from the four magic users, and it was best not to be seen.
The club meeting went well once they got under way. They were practicing a magic that allowed them to move another human being, something they'd been practicing over the last couple of weeks to make sure the girl's had it down pat before actually trying it out on another person. Heaven forbid one of them end up being pushed off the school roof, or exploding or something equally nasty. It was good magic to know, just in case. Accidents were rare, but it was good to be able to push someone out of the way of a car or a falling tree branch or something else that might hurt them, even while standing several blocks away. The incantation was pretty simple and, when they finished about two hours later, they had minimal injury.
They bid each other goodbye, promising to meet the next day for lunch, before the respective couples split to go their separate directions. Sae and Nanaka also lived in relatively the same area.
When the girls rounded the corner, Takeo grinned and pulled out his wand. He quickly healed his own bruises from the spells gone too strongly, both Sae and Nanaka knocking him down a couple of times. It was a handy spell that he and Aburatsubo knew, especially with Sae in their group, but neither of them used it in front of the girls. Neither wanted to hurt the girl's feelings by showing that they'd actually been injured. Besides, a lot of times, it was nothing more serious than just a few bruises, like today.
As they began walking again, Aburatsubo slipped his arm around Takeo's shoulders. The youth couldn't keep himself from tensing, but he grabbed Aburatsubo's wrist before the other could pull his arm away, firmly keeping it in place.
He'd promised that he would let himself relax, get used to this, and he would! It wasn't nearly as big of a deal as a kiss, and since they'd already done that, Takeo knew he shouldn't be concerned about an arm around his shoulders.
It felt nice, he thought, to feel Aburatsubo's figure against his own as they walked. It made his heart beat a little faster, being so close to the other. He'd always liked the sensation it caused, the warmth that filled him when Aburatsubo held him close.
He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to make Aburatsubo happy. He'd even gone so far as buying a few books, although he'd made certain it was in a book store as far away from his part of Tokyo as possible. Even though he doubted he would ever see the cashier again, it had been humiliating buying book on relationship advice. None of them had really helped with the 'just started dating' part of the relationship, except for one that sounded like it had been made by teachers. Still, he'd forced himself to carefully work through the pages, trying not to giggle immaturely at the racier passages.
He'd never admit it to anyone, but he'd found it rather interesting. If he was honest with himself, he had no idea what to do in any kind of relationship, man or woman. Sure, he might of had an over-exuberant imagination, but that was very far from real life. It was easy to imagine someone naked. It was an entirely different thing to actually know what to DO with a naked person.
Takeo jerked himself away from those thoughts. It took one step at a time, and he had to know what to do with these small gestures before he even considered trying to make some of the bigger ones. He had to be more certain with himself, with the relationship, with everything. Still, he was proud of the progress he was making with working passed his habits and reservations, and couldn't help but wonder about the next step.
Their conversation flowed easily about the girls progress, despite the distraction Takeo's thoughts were proving to be. The two boys were in their last year of school, but they planned to keep meeting to continue to teach the girl's magic as well as sharpen their own skills, until they'd learned all there was to know. Pretty soon, Sae and Nanaka would be ready to move on to the more complicated spells, those which required whole paragraphs worth of incantation.
It had been hard, at first, Takeo thought as he let his mind wander a little. When he and Aburatsubo had entered high school, they'd decided together that they would start a Magic Club. It wasn't something that would attract a lot of attention, as hardly anyone believed magic existed any more and likely thought it would be about lame card tricks and such, but they'd known that it would be selfish to keep it all to themselves. Being able to cast magic was an ethereal experience, something that should of be shared. Still, in their first year, they had been the only two members.
He'd liked it that way. The sharing such a secret with only his best friend, being able to do things that no other person in the world could do. He didn't regret the decision now but, at the time that he'd seen those names on the sign-up sheet, he hadn't been able to help but feel a little cheated. He didn't want bring someone into the tight circle of intimate secrecy that he and Aburatsubo shared.
It wasn't just the magic itself. He hadn't wanted to share his friend. He knew that Aburatsubo and himself had grown up with a friendship closer than those that most people forged. They'd had other people they talked to in class, even hung out on occasion after school or on weekends, but he'd never grown nearly so close to anyone else. It was more than just the fact that they lived so close, that they could visit each other so easily so often. It was more than the fact that they had so many likes in common, that it was just so simple to voice a fear or aspiration to the other when it would of been so difficult to say such things to another person.
Aburatsubo was someone who made him feel complete, who complimented Takeo's faults and made him feel desired, loved, safe and secure.
Like a soul mate.
Takeo tripped over his own foot as he was shocked by the thought, Aburatsubo grabbing him before he could hit the pavement. "Are you alright?" the taller youth questioned, settling Takeo back on his feet.
"Ah, just stubbed my toe. I'm fine," he stammered, his heart pulsing so loudly in his ears that he could swear anyone in a four-block radius could hear.
Aburatsubo smiled, straightening out his shirt for him before he pulled Takeo back into motion. "That's good. We're almost home. Do you mind if we hang out at your place for a while?"
Takeo nodded numbly, only half hearing the question.
Soul mates.
He'd never thought of the word before, beyond hearing it in books and the like.
Was that what they were? Is that why he found such happiness with the other, even back when they were just friends? Is that why he felt such completion when he was with the other? Did such a thing even exist? Is that why, as he'd grown to know the other, he'd begun to feel a kind of emotion that he'd never felt before?
Love.
Yes, he couldn't help thinking, really could be it.
Soul mates and love.
