Takeo shoveled his breakfast into his mouth as fast as he could, his eyes on the clock. He'd been up late last night, lost in thought, and had slept in that morning. He had exactly five minutes to get over to Aburatsubo's house, or they would be late getting to school.
He still couldn't believe he'd said those words. In that moment, it had seemed so right, but they had still shocked him.
He was in love with Aburatsubo.
He couldn't deny it any longer. He had no idea exactly when it had happened, but it had, and he'd finally come to accept that. He'd never been so certain as when he'd held Aburatsubo last night, letting him cry out the frustrations that he'd kept suppressed for so long. Did anyone have the slightest idea, Takeo wondered, as to how much pain it caused Aburatsubo to have to keep up that pretense all of the time. Did anyone care, really care, enough about Aburatsubo to let him drop that fiscade once and a while without making a big deal about it?
Well, Takeo did.
And, apparently, it had been enough last night. Aburatsubo had calmed, and they'd just lain there quietly in each other's arms for a long moment. After a while, they had to move so that they could head to their respective dining rooms for supper. But, at that time, Takeo had been perfectly content to stay there forever, just holding Aburatsubo closely.
Things were finally slipping into place, he thought. As the two of them grew even closer together, everything seemed to be becoming easier. It wasn't as hard for him to make those gestures any more. Takeo even found himself looking forward to the next chance he would have to steal a kiss. No wonder Aburatsubo had stolen so many from him. It was exhilarating. Especially the kind they'd shared last night.
Realizing the time, Takeo pulled himself away from those thoughts before he could be distracted by them, grabbing his bag and running out the door.
Aburatsubo was already heading down the street to his house, and he gave Takeo a wide smile when he spotted him. "Well, what do you think?" the tall boy greeted.
Takeo blinked. "Of what?"
Aburatsubo paused in his walking, giving Takeo an expectant look. "I didn't style my hair today. I just gave it a quick brush," he explained.
The shorter youth couldn't keep himself from laughing. Aburatsubo's hair looked exactly the same as it always did, except a little fluffier. "See? You had nothing to worry about. It looks just as good as usual."
He gave into the temptation to smooth Aburatsubo's frown away with a kiss, and could help the smugly satisfied feeling he got when it worked. He was probably enjoying this way too much, the fact that he could put such a smile on his boyfriend's face from just a simple kiss.
Of course, that wasn't about to stop him.
This feeling of freedom was wonderful. Being able to just lean up to the other and press their lips together, without his usual fears taking over. They were still there, he doubted he could ever get rid of them completely, but after a day like yesterday their voice was much quieter. And it was nicer than he ever could of thought.
Aburatsubo had been surprised when Takeo hadn't even noticed the difference in his hair that morning. He was even more surprised when no one else seemed to either. It had been difficult for him to resist the urge to smooth out the strands as he'd gotten himself ready that morning, feeling awkward as he'd approached the school yard as though everyone was going to start staring at him. It was hard to believe that no one seemed to care in the least. Even the girls from that silly fan club didn't notice the change.
Aburatsubo certainly wasn't going to let himself turn into a slob, but it was nice to feel that tension ease at least somewhat. He'd promised himself, when he'd finally realized how badly he hated all of those expectations placed on his shoulders and had cried into Takeo's chest, that he wouldn't let other people rule his life any longer. He really didn't have to groom himself into as close to perfection as he could to make certain he looked exactly like people wanted him to. The only expectations he needed to live up to were his own, and Takeo had finally forced him to know that.
Tomorrow was their day off of school, and Takeo had asked him to go to the park as their next date. Aburatsubo wanted to show up in casual clothes. It would be the first time he wore something besides either his school uniform or casual dress wear out of the house, and he wanted to surprise Takeo by showing that he'd taken his words to heart.
Did he even owned a pair of jeans?
Well, he'd wear something casual, anyway.
Aburatsubo let his mind wander to the evening before, a soft smile coming to his lips as he recalled Takeo's words. It had been those which had really calmed him down, no amount of upset being able to over shadow the happiness which had come over him. He'd always imagined how he would celebrate that moment, swinging Takeo into his arms to kiss him thoroughly while fireworks exploded little hearts into the sky as they sank to the ground and made love on the sand/hidden in the trees/whereever the hell they happened to be, which always happened to be some place private.
It never would of been quite like that, he knew, but he'd always thought it would be this big, spectacular moment.
It had been spectacular, but the quiet calm which had washed over him had been more wonderful than any celebration ever could of been. Every part of him had filled with warmth, and it had felt right just to hold each other, not needing to say or do anything else. Everything had made that moment the most special he would ever experience, and it had been complete perfection.
Suddenly, he heard his name and Aburatsubo snapped out of his thoughts. He'd completely forgotten that he was in the middle of class, and now the teacher and the other students were looking at him expectantly.
He looked quickly at the black board, but it was bare. He didn't have his text book open to the same page as everyone else either.
Feeling a flush work along his cheeks, Aburatsubo tried to sink into his chair. "I'm sorry, what was the question?" he asked reluctantly. Gods, how embarrassing. He'd never been caught day dreaming before. He'd always made sure to keep a careful ear out for everything the teacher said, taking careful notes even when his mind was wandering.
However, the teacher just repeated the question, one that he could easily recite the answer to from memory, then turned a new question toward a different student. Everyone's attention changed to the new one as well, and Aburatsubo's lapse was forgotten.
He blinked, at a loss. Was it really that easy? He'd never actually given thought to the consequences, should he not be able to pipe up an answer immediately. He'd always imagined the disappointment on the teacher's face, the amused looks of his classmates that someone who held grades like his wouldn't know an answer.
Aburatsubo felt a little foolish. It wasn't as though their worlds revolved around him. What was it to them if he didn't know something? Everyone was caught day dreaming at one point or another, what made him so special that he should be any different? Why had he always thought that he mattered so much? In the end, he really was just another student. Some people might of been upset by it, but Aburatsubo was elated. He'd always wanted to feel like 'just another student'.
Thanks, Takeo, he thought to the other, a soft smile on his lips. He knew he wouldn't of made this realization without the help of Takeo's words. Perhaps now, he could finally be a regular person.
