I know this is the chapter you've all been waiting for. Sorry it's late, I was looking over it and something didn't quite fit and I had to rewrite the entire Kurama sequence. And if you don't know my writing habits, usually, I will write everything at once, leave it, and come back in two or three days to look at it again. Then rewrite again. That's why I have to have these things completely written before I chance uploading them. Anything that's incomplete up here is the fault of not following that pattern.
So, here goes, the chapter where finally, finally Kurama figures it all out. Well, Bri, too. I do not own the title of this chapter, Evanescence does. But I thought it fit the chapter so well… I also don't own No Vacancy's Heal Me, I'm Heartsick, or Yu Yu Hakusho.
Chapter 15: Bring Me to Life
Bri
For Kurama and me, our routine remained unbroken, save the homework that we did once or twice a week, since we had the time. After another month had passed us by, Kurama spoke during lunch again. He hardly ever did, considering that he was so secretive about what went on in his cove.
"I think you should try your powers again today, Bri," he said. "To test yourself."
I shrugged. "Sure, why not? I'll sleep again. Maybe this time, I'll actually make it to the bed on my own."
His sharp green eyes seemed to flash for a moment before he nodded. "All right, then. To the room."
As before, we settled into the plain, white room. Kurama sat opposite me, Indian style, and I hugged my knees. He studied me a moment.
"Do you need my demonstration again?"
"Nah. I can do it."
I took my mind and made the ball. I found the butterfly, dancing just beyond reach. I pranced after it, pouncing like a playful kitten in my own mind. I formed the net and caught the little bugger fast.
A golden light lit in my hands, twinkling dimly there. I grinned up at Kurama.
"Look, I can keep it steady!"
"Yes. You've improved a great deal."
I let the golden ball of light slowly fade away. I was still a little tired, but I wasn't going to drop off like a rock this time.
"All right, I've got to ask," I said. "What have you been doing up in your bed while I train in here? My curiosity's going to kill me."
He stared at the white floor, unable to meet my eyes. Guilt. He was guilty. What had he been doing to make him guilty? When he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes. I nearly fell back in shock. Kurama was crying!
Why?
"I'm sorry, Bri…my curiosity got the better of me, as well."
"What? Did you read my journal or something?"
Silence.
I sighed. I knew it would happen some day, someone would really read the darn thing.
The why didn't really bother me so much. What really mattered to me was what he thought.
"Kurama, I don't blame you. Really, I don't."
"I wanted to—"
"Know the inevitable past, I know," I grinned. "I was kind of wondering if you were going to do it the foxy way like that. Guess you're more demon than I thought."
He laughed weakly. "Keiko…meant a lot to you. Didn't she?"
I sighed again. "Yes. She meant a great deal to me, more than you'll ever know. You know, it's because of her that I even wanted to come to Japan?"
"Because of her father."
"Yes. And no. Keiko and I shared the love of this country, for many separate reasons, but for one big reason. We both loved the language. I know. Right? Me? Interested in language? When I was younger, I wanted to be a linguist. I wanted to know every language I could as well as I could. Funny how things change. What about you?"
"Hmm?"
"What'd you want to be…when you were young? You and that other guy. Your partner, Kuronue?"
Kurama looked a little surprised. Then he shook his head. "You caught that, did you?"
"Yes… What happened to him?"
"I'm surprised you didn't find that, too." He sighed. I punched him in the arm. "Okay! Kuronue and I…we wanted to be thieves. The greatest demon thieves ever to steal from the Spirit World."
"Did you…?"
"We were. Then I was. Alone."
"Kuronue…is dead, then?"
"We were stealing something from the palace. His pendent fell and he went back for it. I couldn't do anything. Kuronue always fought with honor, and he saved me that day. He still saves me, every once in a while."
I sighed. I couldn't help but think that Kuronue and Keiko had some things in common, but I knew they were very different. Even from what little I knew of Kuronue. Obviously, there was the little thing that Kuronue was a demon, but it was more than that. Keiko would never steal anything.
Even if it would cost her life.
"Bri, can you tell me…about your life? I know very little about it, except from what you write."
"My past?" I chuckled. "My past is dark and scary, Kurama. You don't want to hear about it."
"Yes, I do."
So I told him. I told him all about my life, something I hadn't even told Keiko.
"I was born in a dumpy little box in a New York alley," I grinned. "Nah, just yanking yer chain. I don't know where I was born. The first memory I have was when I was three. I was in an orphanage. They told me my mom dropped me off there and left. Stayed there two years. Then they gave me to a foster mother in Virginia.
"Stayed with her a year, went to school. Didn't have any friends. What was the point? I'd only go away soon, anyway. Went to another foster mother in Georgia. Alabama. Tennessee. Texas. California. Virginia. I never stayed anywhere longer than a year. Sometimes I'd get caught in places I shouldn't be. I'll let you wonder what happened then, because I don't like remembering.
"Then, when I was twelve, I moved to Kansas with my new foster mom. I call her mom. I always called them mom, even though they weren't.
"That's when I met Keiko. She was my first friend, the first person that I really connected with and loved. We both wanted to go to Japan. So much. We talked nonstop about what we would do once we got here. We talked about doing a foreign exchange program for years, but we wanted to wait until we were high school age.
"So there. It's a nutshell, but it's all I'm willing to give."
Then a funny thing happened. Kurama was staring at me, his green eyes strange and wide. I knew he'd waited for me to finish before saying anything.
"What did you mean by getting 'caught in places' you shouldn't have been?"
I rolled my eyes. "I don't like remembering that stuff."
"No, I want to know. What 'stuff'?"
"You don't want to know." I looked away. I tried to keep looking away, even though Kurama's eyes were all but begging me to look at them.
"Bri… Were they really so terrible?"
"When you lose everything, terrible things don't seem so terrible anymore." I looked at him, finally, and gave him my most cynical smile. "The dark streets don't look so bleak, and time doesn't seem to drag. Keiko meant the world to me. My world's crashing down now that I don't have one anymore."
"I know what it's like, Bri," Kurama said softly. So very softly. "My heart's been taken from me and crumbled to dust three times."
"I thought I had it bad with once," I grunted. I reached over a hand and patted his shoulder gently. "Listen—"
"No, stop. It's different with you. You keep saying your dead, Bri. You're dead, you're heartsick."
"And it's true."
Suddenly, he stood up. He shouted: "No, it's not! You're not dead!"
But I was. I was so dead. I was almost as dead as Keiko was.
I didn't know quite what to say to him, to let him know how dead I really was. I didn't want to be dead. But I was. I was dead. I just looked at him. He looked at me, a wild look in his eyes that reminded me so much—so much—of Keiko.
"Why are you trying to bring me back to life?" I said. I meant it to be said in a deep, strong voice of a ghost you could see but not touch. It came out a whisper. Barely there. I wasn't even sure if he heard me until he spoke again.
"I don't know," he answered. "Maybe… I just care that much, Bri. Maybe I just want to know why you believe yourself dead when you're standing here before me, alive and well. In Spirit World, yes, but still alive."
I just care that much…He cared about me? About little me, little Bridget Wolf?
At that moment, I felt a light inside of me. I know it sounds rather stupid, but I felt warm inside. Like eating a fresh-baked cookie, made with love, straight from Keiko's hands.
That's when I remembered something. A strange scene, inside my head.
"Kurama… How again did Yusuke come back to life?"
"Wh-What?"
"How did Yusuke come back? Don't ask me why, just…tell me." Something nagged at my mind. Lightning. Something about lightning. Something about buttons. Blue ones, the color of Botan's hair, and lightning, and rain, and pain, so much pain.
"Keiko gave some of her life energy to him…through a kiss," Kurama said softly. "Why, what's wrong, Bri?"
"I think maybe…something happened that night on the hill. Something to do with Botan and lightning and little blue buttons and Keiko's grave…"
Kurama
I wasn't sure what to do anymore. Bri was acting so strange. Her journals were so mortifying. What if she really would die? I don't know if I could take it. This wasn't like it was with Genki. I was sad when Genki died. I would be devastated if my mother died, but I would be able to go on.
But Bri?
I wasn't so sure.
"Bri, what are you saying?"
"Kurama…I think I really am dead."
"You're not. Look at you, you're standing—"
"That's not it! I'm solid, I'm walking, I'm talking, but my heart isn't beating!"
What was she talking about? I stared at her, not quite sure. I wasn't sure of her at all, she sounded like she'd lost herself. She rolled her eyes, a fevered look in her eyes. She grabbed my hand and pressed it against her heart.
"My heart. It. Is. Not. Beating."
I stayed there for a long time. How long, I wasn't sure. But when at last I took my hand away, I knew it was so.
Bri really was dead.
Her heart had stopped.
"Wh-When did you…"
Instead of answering, she started pacing.
"It's weird. Sometimes it starts beating again. Kurama, I don't know what to do! I really am dead!" She stopped for a minute and looked at me. "I've been like this since that night on the hill. I didn't really notice until later, but…"
"Is that what you meant by 'heartsick'?"
It was a stupid question. Why had I asked her that? Her heart wasn't beating! We had to get her to a doctor…Something!
"No…yes…maybe…I don't know! We have to find Botan. I think she'll know. She is the Grim Reaper…I keep remembering her face on the hill. On that stupid oar of hers."
I grabbed her hand. "Come on. I know where we can find out. Close your eyes."
I pulled the door to the Chronodom open and pulled her outside. My transformation took over. Youko came back to me.
It took only a few seconds to make our way into Koenma's office, past all of the ogres and paperwork.
"Where's Botan?" I demanded the minute I saw the toddler.
"Wha—Kurama, Bri, what are you two—"
"Where is Botan?" I pressed.
"She's over—"
"Botan!" Bri broke from my hold. "Botan, I've got to talk to you!"
The bubbly girl was startled to see us. I could see it in her eyes. Bri talked to her in low tones, but I could hear them, still. I was, after all, in my demon form.
"Botan, what happened to me at Keiko's grave? You were there, I remember."
"You were hit by lightning," Botan confessed. What? "But you weren't supposed to be, so I brought you back to life."
"Did you by any chance botch that?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
Bri took Botan's hand as she had mine and placed it over her heart.
"O-Oh, dear…How are you even walking about?"
"I don't know. I'm alive and dead at the same time, Botan! Is there any way I can become fully alive again?"
"I suppose…If you just wait a while, if it starts beating. It's a little difficult. Actually, this is rather interesting. Usually humans can't move after their heart stops beating."
"I don't care how interesting it is, Botan, is there any other way?"
"Afraid not."
She sighed. "Okay, then…I guess we can see how long I'll live until then." Bri glanced over at me and said aloud. "Come on, Kurama, let's go back to the Chronodom. Nothing more we can do."
Calmly, Bri walked beside me. She looked nothing like the panicked girl I'd seen back in the Chronodom. She was the epiphany of calm. I listened close with my demon ears. She had no heartbeat, though there she walked, as plain and alive as ever.
From the back of my mind, I heart the old Youko speak up.
I thought you said you'd never fall in love again.
In love?
What do you call this attraction you have for this human?I had no answer.
Kiss her, Shuichi.
What? No! What if she doesn't like me?
You have the same argument every time. What if she does?Then…I'll talk to her about it.
Good, talk about it. Then kiss her.
What was my subconscious trying to do to me?
Tell her how you feel. Close your eyes this time, we don't want to shrink to a child.
At last, everything's falling into place. I have one quick question for ya'll. If I wrote a sequel, would anyone want to read it? I was thinking of making Bri meet the past Kurama and Kuronue. I left enough open ends that we never really know what happened with Tsuki, her mother. So, what do ya'll think? Is a little time traveling in order after this is all said and done?
One more thing: That Matchbox story by Iaragon? I made some fanart for it, if anyone wants to see my skills with colored pencils. In my opinion, I'm a better artist than writer…If you want to see it, it's on under my pen, angelindigo.
