Disclaimer"'Do you think the French people really like our berets?' She said, 'No, I think they think we are English people and therefore not normal.' 'How could they think that?' Then I noticed Rosie was wearing a fake mustache as well as her beret."
(An: Eee! Reviews!
HH-blink- Oh dear, have I really built up that kind of reputation? I'm gonna have to think of an amusing situation quickly, before I ruin that.
Ishy: They aren't quite that smart, and Rogue's not really in a "listening" mood. TY for the info. -cackles-
Xmengirlzrule: Did you skip the first chapter? They're trying to steal L'Etoile de Tricherie for the family so they'll shut up. Ooh, Cliff Hanger moment!
SF: Of course it'll be interesting! It will involve noodle bombs!
Chuckles123: Of course he does. Remy is the kind of guy who is designed to think he has all the answers. I love being able to rip the carpet out from underneath him. All the boxes? I am amazed.
CDLOC: NO! That is amusing, but I cannot. I still twitch every time I see that accursed Robby scene in X-2. I'm probably going to hurt myself when I have to write Robby for a movie fic I want to do. Someone else, with more guts can do it.
ACBPB: Yes, of course I watch Teen Titans! The Revolution ep rocks! Ooh, have you seen the Titanimal one? Raven!Rabbit and BeastBoy!Lamp! That makes me burst out laughing whenever I think of it... like right now... am I the only one who gets all the Yellow Submarine references in those eps? Um, anyway, Jubes isn't gonna admit it 'til later... much later -cackle-
SSS: Right now? You mean it's gonna end? And I just had this image in my mind: Kitty, pissed off, and behind her a cringing Kurt and a disinterested Jubes, a nervous Remy, and behind him a curious Daphine... then it explodes, I don't know why... I need more caffeine.
SD: To me, anyway. Usually I get compliments or flat-out flamed. Or suggestions! Yeah, he is, but he's got a hyper cousin following him around, a big rock to steal, and a really big carrot (the family-leaving-him-alone-forever thing) dangling over his head. And besides, Remy's ridiculously overconfident when it comes to women, remember?
Ok, I have ventured beyond the realm of the thought-out into the realm of randomness, so bear with me here. And I must credit the amazing InterNutter for coming up with noodle bombs. In case you're curious, it's from "Reale Liebe", which is an awesome fic I wish she would finish.)
AT THE INSTITUTE...
Kitty, Kurt, and Jubilee had arrived back. They were now in Kitty's room, plotting their attack. "Ok, here's my idea" Kurt said, spreading out a blueprint.
"What is that" Jubilee asked, eyes bugging out.
"It's a noodle bomb" Kurt explained. "Or, rather, the plan for it. We get Remy and Rogue in the same room, launch this baby, and bam! They'll have to work out their problems."
"And how the heck would that work" Jubilee asked, cocking her head.
"We use tomato paste, you see" said Kurt, in the tone that someone might use to explain something very obvious to a small child. "It sticks them to the wall."
"Why don't we just figure out a way to lock them both in the DR and make them work it out that way" Jubilee objected.
"Hmm..." Kurt murmured, eyeing his plans. "Well, this would require an obscene amount of tomato paste... I suppose we could save it for plan B." He sighed and rolled up the blueprint.
"Like, don't worry Kurt" said Kitty, back to her usual cheerful self"we can always stick one in Scott's uniform locker."
Kurt brightened. "That's perfect! That'll make him pay for those uniforms..." He twitched. "Spandex"
The girls twitched at that too. "Hey, at least you get one that looks good on you" Jubilee complained. "I get the standard X-suit, and that doesn't look good on anybody. And I barely ever get to wear it." She humphed.
Kitty and Kurt, having completely ignored her, were already halfway out the door.
"Ugh! That's what I get for being the youngest" Jubilee muttered. "Well, except for Jamie, but nobody cares about him..."
Jamie (or maybe one of his dupes) was walking by at the time, and stopped short, sticking his finger in the air. "DAMN STRAIGHT"
Kurt and Kitty sorted through ingredients in the kitchen. "I, like, know exactly how to get them in there..." Kitty murmured.
ROGUE'S SECRET CLOSET LAIR...
Ok, so maybe it was only a supply closet on the second floor. Ok, so the only light was a tiny little bare lightbulb on a string. Ok, so Rogue and Bobby took up most of it. But it was her lair, dammit, and it was sacred!
"Where are we" Bobby asked. His impression of a rabbit (a.k.a. twitching, nervousness, and jumping at every small noise) had not ceased since Rogue had purloined him.
"My lair, can't ya tell" Rogue cried, throwing out her arms.
"...No, not really... Should I"
"Yes"
"Um... ok..."
Rogue groaned. "This is gonna take a while..."
"Does anyone else know about this place" Bobby asked, looking around.
Rogue shrugged. "Prob'ly Logan, but he never comes here. Too far away from his beer, Ah guess. But no, Ah've nevah led anyone here. Yah're the first to get the privilege."
"Not even Remy"
"SPEAK NOT THE NAME" Rogue screeched.
"Sorry ma'am."
"Now then, we gotta plot, you idiot. Sit down."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Stop callin' me that"
"Sorry ma- Rogue."
"Now then, here's mah idea..."
AT THE BAYVILLE MUSEUM, QUITE A FEW HOURS LATER...
It was dark, it was late, and the museum was closed. "Not much o' a place" Daph commented.
"Nope" Remy replied.
"But they keep the Cheating Star here... shouldn't it be more... I don' know... impressive or somethin'"
"Dis is Bayville, and y' expect somethin' t' be impressive an' still standin'"
"Oh, good point."
Breaking in was the easy part. Finding L'Etoile de Tricherie was also easy, it being the only blue diamond in the place and also right in the middle of the room. Finding a place to sit and inspect the alarm systems was the tricky part. Little triplines were everywhere.
"Dis is gonna take longer den I thought" Daphine mumbled.
"You're talkin' wit' an X-man... and y' thought it would be easy"
THE NEXT DAY...
Daphine and Remy, totally exhausted, stumbled into a hotel room. "Four pints of Chunky Monkey, six hours, an' we still have barely any idea of how dat t'ing works" Daph observed.
"Focus on de positive."
"What positive"
"Bed" Remy responded, flopping onto his own and promptly passing out.
AT THE X-MANSION...
Rogue was pacing her room, nibbling a fingernail and muttering to herself. Bobby was dutifully sitting on the bed, being a good little blackmailed punchbunny. "Ah don't get it. Where the hell is he"
"Why do you care" Bobby asked, feeling a bit more daring now that Rogue didn't have her fist an inch from his face.
"Makin' someone jealous doesn't work if they don't know you're happy without them" Rogue retorted. "Gawd, you're such an idiot. ...wait, scratch that, you came up with Jerry. Ah forgot. Yah're just a guy."
"Wh-what's that supposed to mean" Bobby cried.
Rogue just stared at him. "Nope, scratch that, yah're an idiot. Now shut up. Ah gotta plot." With that, Rogue resumed pacing.
"This is gonna be a long day" Bobby mumbled as he flopped back on Rogue's bed.
IN KITTY'S BEDROOM...
Kitty was pacing as well. Kurt was hanging from the ceiling. If Kitty hadn't been so distracted with the enigma of Remy she might've noticed what he was staring at and just why his eyes were bugging out. Jubilee was sitting on Kitty's chair, which was turned around. "I, like, just don't get it. If she's his cousin, why didn't he show up today"
"Maybe they... you know... those backwater towns" Jubilee suggested.
Kitty stopped pacing and Kurt stopped staring to consider this. "Oh, god, no..." they said in unison. "DISGUSTING"
"And besides, you guys said Remy was adopted" she added. "So technically..."
"Can we please not go down that road" Kurt begged.
"Like, right" Kitty said, snapping out of it. For the first time she looked up, and spotted what Kurt was now staring at again. "ELF"
Kurt squeaked and let go of the rafter, landing on Kitty's bed and hiding beneath the blankets. "Please don't kill me! We've got work to do"
Kitty growled, but unfisted her hands. "You're gonna pay for that later."
"I think you've been spending too much time with Logan" Jubes commented.
Kitty's eyes narrowed.
"It might be a good idea to run now" Kurt suggested. "Or at least use the chair as a shield."
Jubilee just snapped her gum and watched Kitty calm herself down. "You're right" Kitty admitted, after a second. "I have been spending too much time with Logan. Bezerker rage moment there." She shook herself, then smiled. She fancied it wasn't a bit forced.
Jubilee looked a little bit scared. "So what are we going to do now"
Kurt and Kitty blinked. "What do you mean"
"Our plan depends on Remy being here" Jubes pointed out.
"Oh, right" Kurt agreed. "No Remy, no grape war, no DR time. We'll just have to find him, then."
He finally emerged from the sanctity of the covers and stood up.
"This is gonna be a long day" Jubilee mumbled, as she followed her older friends out.
(Yes, I'm purpously being tight-lipped on details when it comes to the plans... so sue me. Or better, review me!)
