Disclaimer: "Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day one's fabulous cow exploded."
(An: Well, here we go again...
XMGR: You're not paranoid if you're right... which Rogue isn't, lol.
CDLOC: It's her secret closet lair! Do not insult it! That too, was stolen from the InterNutter. I know, sick, is it not? But I have a veeery sick mind.
ACBPB: These stories thrive on sexual inneundos/Kurtty, and you have to ask? Think about it for a bit... I appreciate him! I'm trying to give him a nice big part in the X-band! It never is. I love that ep! And I missed that one too.. Raven season, squee!
Di: Aw come on, pally, I didn't see it! It really is pretty cool... now are you gonna update it like you used to AtG? Who's Mr. Darcy?
SF: Stolen from Dobby in HP. I love quoting that line.
Eee. More fun. Just a thing: randomness equals easy writer's block. Thus, slower updates.)
"Now, if I were Remy, where would I hide?" Kurt mused, standing in Bayville park.
"Do you usually talk to yourself?" Jubes asked.
"Are you always this insolent?" Kurt retorted. "No wonder Logan never takes you on missions."
Jubilee's response was an impish grin.
"Can we get back on topic?" asked Kitty. "We have work to do. I made up a list of places where Remy likes to hang out- his apartment, seedy hotels, that kind of stuff."
"Man, these guys owe us," Kurt muttered. "We spend more time on their relationship then we do on ours."
IN ROGUE'S ROOM...
Rogue stopped pacing, having apparently come up with an idea. "Come on, Bobby. We've got work to do." She grabbed his hand and dragged him out.
"I'm doooomed..." Bobby mumbled.
AT THE PARK...
"Ok, we should, like, start with his, like, apartment," said Kitty. "It's easy to find, and the most likely place he might be."
"Why does he have an apartment, anyway?" Jubilee asked.
"Eh, it's just, like, his sanctum sanctorum," she murmured, engrossed in her map.
"What?"
"His hidey-hole for when he gets in trouble, in other words," Kurt explained.
"Um..."
"Nobody else gets it either," Kurt responded with a shrug. "It's a Remy thing."
"Come on," said Kitty, who had finally figured out her map. "To his apartment, away!" She stuck her finger in the air and ran off.
"Does she do that... often?"
"It's her way of signing off quite often, yes. Come on, before she gets too far ahead of us."
IN THE HOTEL...
Remy stirred in his sleep, almost as though he knew that somehow, somewhere, two fixated women were looking for him.
IN THE ICE CREAM SHOP...
"Funny," Rogue murmured, looking around. "Usually you can find Remy here on Sundays."
"Does he come for a Sundae?" Bobby asked, jumping at the prospect of an easy pun.
"No, he likes Chunky Monkey," Rogue replied absently. "Mebbe he's at his apartment..." She started off, dragging Bobby along behind her.
AT REMY'S APARTMENT...
In the way of bad stories and bad teen movies, Rogue, Kitty, Kurt, Bobby, and Jubilee all arrived at pretty much the same time. "What're you guys doin' here?" Rogue asked, inspecting them suspiciously.
"Can't innocent friends go for an innocent visit to a maybe-not-so-innocent-friend's house... innocently?" Kurt asked, with his big I'm-not-doing-anything grin.
"Ah ain't buyin' it, blue boy. Whatcha want Remy for? And if ya lie, Ah'll smack ya."
"Ok, we're here to fetch Remy so we can instigate a complicated plot involving various food items and a creature known as a spongemonkey in order to patch up your relationship," said Kurt.
"Ah said no- wait, that does sound like somethin' y'all would come up with," Rogue said, biting her lip. "Get outta here right now and Ah won't totally kill you, got it?"
"Yes ma'am," said Kurt, grabbing Kitty and Jubilee and bamfing off.
"Ok, that so didn't work," Kitty muttered. "And Remy wasn't there either."
"How'd you know? Jubilee asked. "We didn't even get to go inside."
"Remy has a 'Rogue sense,'" Kitty replied. "If she's anywhere around, he knows. Of course, considering how mad she is at him, he'd probably run as fast as he could in the opposite direction... He's a nut like that. Like Kurt's snack sense." (1)
Jubilee stared at them in such a way that it was obvious that she'd never heard of Kurt's snack sense.
"For example," said Kurt, holding up a finger, "right now, back at the mansion, Ororo's making muffins."
"What kind?" Kitty furthered.
"Nut. Banana nut, no less."
"Ooh, you're good," Kitty agreed.
A FEW HOURS LATER...
Kitty, Kurt, and Jubilee slumped down on a park bench, defeated. "We've checked every place on the list," Kurt stated, panting. "Every single one, even the seedy hotels. Neither hide nor hair of Remy."
"Nope," said Jubilee. "What do we do now?"
"That is the question," said Kurt and Kitty in unison.
"Logan's right; that is creepy."
AT THE HOTEL...
Remy sat up, rubbing his head. "Thieving sucks," he muttered. He glanced over at the clock. It was only seven, and Daphine was still asleep. Mebbe I can patch things up before havin' t' do all dis merde, he thought, creeping out. "Oui, and mebbe I'll go home and find Magneto and Xavier havin' tea."
AT THE X-MANSION...
"Pass the tea, Charles?"
"Certainly, Magnus. Could you hand me some of those lovely muffins? I do so adore banana nut."
(Ok... I know it's short but I wanted to get this up. I know where the next two chapters are going, so they should be up soon. I'm just lazy. As for the ending... -shrugs- Randomness Inc., how may I direct your call?)
(1) Kurt's snack sense is copped from a discussion on the Nutboard... yeesh, I'm stealing so many things from there.
