Disclaimer: "What ho, a chicken? In a very different style of illustration, I might add."
(An: Since I decided to kill this before y'all got sick of it, this is the second-to-last chapter, basically wrapping everything up except for Kitty and Kurt's part.
Xmengirlzrule: I just couldn't resist... here I thought people would yell at me for descending into madness, and instead, I get comments about muffins! -giggles-
Dis Chick Digs Da Fuzzy Dude: First off- heart the new name! We could start a "Diggin' the Fuzzy Dude Support Group!" Anyway... Blondness! And I have homework too... I'm just lazy... Ooh! Great minds really DO think alike!
RITR: Where ya been girl? Haven't seen ya! Your review made me giggle. A lot of reviews made me giggle, as a matter of fact...
CDLOC: Silliness is my passion. -happy dance-
Elmo the Cajun Puppet: Your review made me choke on my Dew. Literally. I -love- the name. And it's not any of those ridiculous "news stations"- it's Alex Smells Like Feces News reporting live- well sorta- from Neillsville! Remy's apartment... hmm... you gave me an idea...
SF: No, I'm seeing torture... slow torture... -grins-
SD: Of -course- Remy is going to make things worse! That's the way things work! And I stole the hidey-hole thing from Garfield... I heart Latin... Funny, you picked up on all that but didn't spot the POTC ref...
Since this is going to have so much nice stuff, this chapter should be extra-long... and probably slow in coming... And I realized that I haven't had much mention of the running jokes... That shall not be so if I can help it! -cackles madly-)
IN THE PARK
Remy ducked behind a tree. Kitty and Kurt were arguing over where to look for him next. Also, his 'Rogue sense' was going off. I'm gonna die... we make plans t' stick t' 'em, LeBeau!
And with that thought he booked for his hotel room.
IN ANOTHER SECTOR OF THE PARK
Rogue stopped, holding up a hand. "DAMMIT!" she shouted.
"What?" Bobby asked, after recovering from his near heart attack. It was no secret that Rogue scared the shit out of him.
"We just missed 'im," Rogue muttered. Bobby, although an idiot, had caught on enough to not have ask who "'im" was.
BACK WITH REMY
Remy started running faster, hearing a very familiar voice scream "DAMMIT!"
IN YET ANOTHER SECTOR OF THE PARK
Kurt, Kitty, and Jubilee also heard the "DAMMIT!"
"Well, that can't bode well," said Kurt, blinking.
"On the contrary," Kitty responded. "It means Remy's here, since that was obviously Rogue reacting to 'just missing him'."
"It's kind of creepy how well you know them," Jubilee commented.
"How do you think we feel?" Kurt and Kitty replied.
"Don't do that!"
"Sorry," they said.
Jubilee shook her head. "So what do we do now?"
"Go home," Kurt suggested. "If Remy's here, he's either running back to where he's hiding, or getting his ass kicked by Rogue."
"Yep," Kitty agreed, nodding. "Besides, we still have to put the noodle bomb in Scott's locker!"
"Good point," Jubilee admitted. "I just hope Rogue doesn't kill Bobby..."
"Are you sure you're not dating him?" Kurt asked, poking her as they started for the mansion.
"YES, FOR THE LAST TIME!"
"Ooooh, touchy."
"Urge to kill... rising..."
BACK WITH REMY, YES, AGAIN...
Remy made it back to his hotel room.
Daphine was waiting for him, and she poked him upon entry. "Jus' what were y' doin'?"
"Well, I found out dat m' so-called 'friends' went up t' m' apartment... which is weird..."
"Porquoi?"
"As I've told dem, m' apartment is infested wit' evil mutant rats 'cause de landlady hates me."
"Why, 'cause you're a mutant?"
"No, 'cause I'm datin' Rogue instead of her."
"Ah."
AT MUTANT MANOR...
Kurt walked out of the locker room, looking very pleased with himself.
"What," Tabby asked, walking up beside him, "did Badger actually pass you in a session?"
"Yeah, right, like that'll ever happen," Kurt replied, rolling his eyes. "Nope, I put a noodle bomb in Scott's locker."
"Ooh, major brownie points, Blue," Tabby agreed. "Minus some since he's not here today."
"He's not?"
"Nope! Commander yes-there's-a-stick-up-my-ass-and-yes-I-like-it Scooter is off doing... well, Scooter things!"
"Ah, well, a delayed reaction's always the best." Kurt shrugged.
LATER THAT NIGHT...
Remy and Daphine crept into the museum. There were guards, of course, but hey, they were professionals! A couple of fat idiots were no problem.
"T' hell wit' sophistication," Remy muttered. There was a flash and the power in the whole place went out.
"Smaaart," Daphine groused, until Remy held up a lit card.
"See? No problem."
"No problem? It's pink."
"It's magenta," Remy retorted.
"Pink by any other name is jus' as pink," said Daphine, but shut up anyway. "Lemme handle dis. Y' need all your energy for de pink t'ing."
Remy glared at her.
"T' t'ink, we were gonna do dis de hard way," Daphine commented. "If you're gonna cheat, den I might as well." She placed her hand on the keyhole of the glass case. "Amateurs," she muttered, as diamond flowed from her fingertips to fill the space. She turned the improvised key. "You'd t'ink after all dat trouble, dis would be harder."
Remy gaped as Daphine lifted the case and removed the jewel. The diamond key disappeared and she walked back. "Why didn't y' mention y' could do dat?"
"Your powers got exploited, so why not mine?"
"Good point."
Daphine carefully pocketed L'Etoile Du Tricherie, grinning.
"What're y' gonna do after de Guild lets y' off?"
"Eh, same ol', same ol'," Daphine said, shrugging. "Y' know, forge a few paintings, nick a few jewels and replace 'em wit' m' own, stuff like dat."
"Ah, oui."
THE NEXT MORNING...
Remy crept into the mansion. Least I didn' have t' come in through de window again...
"Ah knew it!" someone yelled. A flashlight got switched on.
"OW!" Bobby cried.
"Be quiet, you," Rogue replied, smacking him. "And if you take one more step, swamp rat-"
Remy straightened up, grinning nervously. Damn.
"Bobby, get outta here. This is gonna get ugly."
Bobby needed no further urging.
Remy was impressed in spite of himself. "You've got him trained."
"Rulin' by fear usually works on idiots."
"I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"
"Surprised nobody's woken up yet," Remy commented.
"They can sleep through Kurt singing Beatles songs in German- off-key, no less- they can sleep through a coupla pissed off Southerners beatin' the crap outta each other." She moved closer. "You have thirty seconds."
"WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE!"
"Start over."
"SHUT UP!"
"Ok. Third times the charm."
(And that's that. Click onward, people, for more of the random humor and finally- an end to this weird crap!)
