Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Samurai Deeper Kyo, not the characters, not anything.. Except my idea.. So there!!! You can't take my pride I tells ya!! NOT MY PRIDE!!
Oh yes, people love me. I can feel it way deep down in the bottom of my blackened heart.
Thanks to:
Yuya2: (catches the shiny chair in mid air) Nonsense, my being lazy is the key to my success. You see, when I first started this story, I was putting off cleaning my room because I was too lazy to do it. Each chapter came because I was lazy to do something else. I know… bad reason but hey, at least you have a great read (beams happily). This time, I'm too lazy to go downstairs to fix myself something to eat (stomach grumbles angrily) SHUT THE HELL UP YOU DAMN STOMACH!!!
Xia Xue: Yay!!! A fellow lazy person!!! ( would do a dance but is too lazy) Mmmm…. I'm so hungry that I can feel myself shaking but I just can't bring myself to stand up…. Damn…Must stand up, must nourish body….(groans) Come to me my sweet delicacy…. TWINKIE!!!! COME TO ME!!!! DORITOS GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!!! COME TO ME PLEASE!!!!! (wailing pitifully then bites into nearest Twinkie)
Hokuikai: Yay!!!!!!!! Another who accepts my overwhelming laziness… and need for short chapters because Roguesheart's wee pathetic mind has blown a gasket.
TigerisKitty: Yes, you have figured out the inner secrets of Tama-chan the mind controlling turtle of utter and complete destruction. (kaboom) Oops, there goes my head… it always spontaneously combusts. (tsks to herself) I am filled with the Twinkies of Life…. TWINKIES!!!(drools) HAHAHA!!! I am soooo hyper and high on anime… Thank you INUYASHA, WOLF'S RAIN, COWBOY BEBOP, VANDREAD, TRIGUN, AND ….. YU YU HAKUSHO. …… Paraphernalia…..big word…..PARAPHERNALIA…..sounds like a drug….
Alexia Winters: Oh how Kyo shall bit sat… err…. Sit. (OSUWARI!!! OSUWARI!!! OSUWARI!!!!!) Sooo many monkeys have come to greet me.. (eyes bulging) Oh dear, it seems I have lost my mind… (shakes her head)
Gensomaden-Saiyuki: No problem!! Your story was quite good. I was pleased. EVER SO PLEASED!! (grins) Arigatou for your review!!!
Yuki Haitani: Yes, turtles do rock…. (whispers) please help me… the damn turtle…he's…he's taken over……It won't be long until he sends his forces…..I think he's planning to…..OH GAWD NO!!!!! SPARE ME OH GRACIOUS TAMA-CHAN!!!! PUHLEASSSSEEEE!!!!! (RoguesHeart recieves beating from the itty bitty turtle of destruction) Onime no TAMA!!!!!
Rabid Tortise: AAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!! THE TURTLE HAS TAKEN YOUR MIND AS WELL? NOOOOO!!! ALL HOPE FOR MANKIND IS LOST!!! NOW WHO SHALL SAVE US!! THOSE DAMN LEECHING TURTLES, SUCKING OUT ALL OF OUR FREE WILL!!! WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHYYY!!!!!!!!! (wails dramatically)
Rachel : Hey you like Kenshin too? I love Kenshin when he goes all bad ass… IT'S SOOOO COOL…..!!! (starry eyes) But I would have to say, Miss Kaoru (irritates me too with her whole, " Even-though-I'm-a-master-swordfighter-I-rarely-use-my-wooden-sword-because-I-wish-to-maintain-my-helpless-little-damsel-in-distress-persona-for-the-sake-of-making-everyone-else-look-better-tee-deedle-hee-oh-and-also-so-that-I-can-impair-my-sweet-dear-kenshin-from-defeating-the-villian-so-he-can-save-my-weak-pathetic-no-good-non-ass kicking-tush !!!!!!!" (ahem) Sorry about that, Got a wee bit carried away by Kaoru's incompetence. But Kenshin's great. Oh and I don't like the brat either… he gets in the way. Let's just say, I don't like anyone who can't kick ass in that show. There, that settles it.
Dark Kitten: Ooooh, yes……(drools) Kyo as Yuya's sex slave. Do you not realize what an idea you have just given me? DO YOU? (thunder sounds, lightning flashes; Roguesheart stands upon a cliff, laughing maniacally until Kyo knocks her off cliff)
Happster360: Yes, the turtles, the sweet succulent turtles….. They have mind controlling devices… did you know that? No, of course you didn't, they wouldn't you want to know… Nope… no they wouldn't….. NEVER!!!
Eternity's Angel of Mercy: OH THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!!! THANK YOU!!!! I was wondering for so long…. Sooooo long…. YAY!!!!!!! Now I know the name of Nobunaga's damn sister. I mean did you know how many people didn't know that? THANKS FOR LOVING MY STORY!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! (does a happy dance for life and gives you a hug)
Recap: Stuff happened, don't remember.
Question: What was the name of Nobunaga's sister? Wait never mind, it's Shantera.…
TO ALL WHO DON'T KNOW: Mahiro: The woman who tried to kill Kyo. You know the one….the one with the dead sister…… I think she was related to Botenmaru or Muramasa or maybe they are the same person…. WHATEVER!!! SHUT UP!!
Venus vs. Ares
Chapter 9: Shit vs. Shitfaced
" Fleeting thoughts, fluttering
Animation."
Yuya scurried quickly up to Kyo's side; her eyes narrowed angrily. When he didn't stop walking, Yuya reached out and grabbed his kimono sleeve.
" Hey, why did you have to be so rude?"
Kyo rolled his eyes, and stopped walking; yanking his arm out of her grasp, he glared at her.
" What are you talking about woman?"
Yuya placed a hand on her hip and frowned darkly.
" You saw me talking and instead of waiting till I was finished, you just busted in and interrupted. Not too mention you had nearly scared that man out of his wits."
Kyo glanced at her, the crimson of his eyes flaring slightly.
" Nearly?"
Yuya rolled her eyes and sighed.
" Fine, he all but pissed himself." she huffed.
Kyo arched an eyebrow; a smug smirk splayed across his face.
" Then what would you call that yellowish liquid running down his leg?"
Yuya's face scrunched up in disgust.
" Eew, that's disgusting Kyo…"
Kyo snorted derisively and continued walking up the trail. Yuya huffed and followed beside him. After a small moment, her stomach began to rumble; gaining a look from Kyo in which Yuya blushed. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out an egg roll and began to munch upon it. A silence followed as they continued to walk up the path; occasionally, Yuya would glance up to see a small turtle following them.
" Uh Kyo?"
Kyo grunted at her, indicating that she were to speak.
" Why is that turtle following us?"
Kyo stopped and glanced over to where Yuya was staring. A small brown turtle looked back up at him, it's black beady eyes glittering in the sunlight. Kyo blinked momentarily and then continued walking up the path; shaking his head.
' Damn Turtle…' he grumbled to himself.
Yuya hurried up beside him once more. When he didn't speak, she prodded him in the shoulder with her index finger.
" What?!" he growled; his nerves wearing thin from her questioning.
Yuya stared up at him, her emerald green eyes glittering innocently.
" So, why's it following us?"
Kyo turned to glare at her when suddenly his ears picked up on a noise.
' What the hell was that?'
The bushes began to rustle behind Yuya, causing for her to jump slightly. Quickly, she gripped her two muramasas (A/N: don't you dare think of correcting me cuz if you do I will rip your intestines out your anus) and she bent over into a fighting stance. Kyo slid his hand over his katana; his fingers twitching slightly, readying for an attack.
" Hey….hey…calm down…it's just me."
Benitora staggered out of the bushes, his hands held up over his head in mock defeat. In one hand was a small shot glass and the other a half empty jug of sake.
" You two really need… to just…."
Benitora lifted the jug to his lips and allowed for the liquid to slip down his throat. Once he finished swallowing he let out an atrocious belch.
" Loosen….up a bit….(hic)….ha…ha…..I…..have….(hic)…hiccups.." he laughed.
Yuya stared blankly at Benitora, her mouth agape.
" Benitora…..are you drunk?" she queried.
Kyo narrowed his crimson red eyes at Benitora.
" I would think that would be obvious, woman…."
Yuya frowned at Kyo but refused to rise to his bait. Turning her attention back to Benitora, she watched as he caught his one leg stuck in the bush; making him stumble.
" (hic) Damn (hic) bush….. Ah'll…show you whose boss…." he drawled out lazily.
Yuya sighed to herself and reached over to help Benitora steady himself.
" BENITORA?!!!" a very familiar female voice called out.
Yuya glanced around.
" Mahiro?"
In seconds, Mahiro appeared behind Yuya; startling her half to death.
" Ha, I see you've found the drunkard.." she replied dully, staring at Benitora.
Yuya nodded mutely. Mahiro shook her head disdainfully.
" I was just passing through the village, when I ran into this fool stepping out of the tavern; reeking of alcohol. I had tried to find you two…" she points at both Kyo and Yuya. " But it seemed you had already left."
Yuya shook her head.
" I certainly wouldn't have left Benitora alone if I knew he would get drunk so early in the day…" she tsked.
Benitora waved his hands dramatically.
" I am….(hic)…not…(hic)…drunk…I'd know if I were (hic) drunk."
" Quiet all of you." growled Kyo.
Yuya turned to yell at Kyo for being rude again when suddenly she felt a strange chill flow down her spine.
" What the…." she whispered.
Mahiro leapt high into a tree, her eyes scanning the wooded area.
" Who's there?" she called out
A flicker of light darted out from behind the trees and whipped in front of them with a brilliant flash nearly blinding them. Once everyone was able to focus, they glared over at the small person in front of them.
" Who the hell are you?" snarled Kyo, his patience wearing thin.
The little man took a step forward, the sunlight shining down upon his head. His platinum blond hair glowed brightly causing for Yuya to squint. His ears were pointed a bit at the top creating the illusion of elf ears. On the lobe of his ear, hung a long crescent shaped earring made from jade. He was clothed in a strange green material that resembled flax. He also wore matching knee high boots that made him seem shorter than he really was. The man had a wiry frame and he barely came up to Kyo's waist.
" I think the real question is, who are you?" he answered, his voice ringing melodically.
Kyo frowned darkly.
" I'm only going to ask you one more time, who are you?"
The little man tilted his head to the side, his sapphire blue eyes glittering mischievously.
" I, my good sir……"
The man did a small dance much to the confusion of Yuya. It was a cross between a waltz and river dance.
" …….am Puck.." he ended, with a small bow.
Puck reached over to Yuya, grabbed her hand and lightly kissed her knuckles. Yuya ripped her hand away from his; a scowl on her face.
" Don't touch me." she snarled.
When a response like that would have deterred any other man, it only fueled Puck. He grinned up at her and attempted to grab her hand once more.
" I said don't touch me!" she exclaimed.
Yuya kicked her foot out and knocked Puck over. When he moved to stand, she placed her shoe on his chest, holding him to the ground. Puck's eyes widened slightly and a sly grin crossed his face.
" I didn't know you were so kinky…."
Yuya's eyes widened with horror and she immediately removed her foot. Scowling even darker at him, she shook her fist threateningly at him.
" I swear on Kami's name, if you come near me again……"
Puck leapt up from the ground, his hand over his heart.
" Ooh, feisty…. I love that in a woman…."
Yuya staggered back, nearly bumping into an awestruck Benitora.
" Wha…..what?…."
Kyo growled and unsheathed his muramasa, holding the blade up to Puck's throat.
" I may consider letting you live……if you leave now." he snarled out, his eyes flaring brightly.
Puck smirked at him, his teeth flashing.
" Revenge is a dish best served cold!!" he cried out happily.
Kyo frowned slightly.
" What the hell are you talking about?"
Puck leapt out of the way of Kyo's blade and into a tree.
" Perhaps what you seek is not in dark but in heart…."
Yuya stared up at him, dumbfounded.
' What in the world is that little midget talking about?' she wondered.
Puck placed his index finger upon his temple and tapped it.
" I will assist in this quest for thee, giving you something that you should receive.."
Puck waved his hand dramatically. Suddenly a burst of wind exploded from the trees causing for everyone to stumble, except Kyo who had honed his skills over the years and was pretty much ready for anything.
Yuya corrected her stance and held her hand over her face to block the wind.
" What's going on?!!" she shouted.
Suddenly, a strange feeling surged through Yuya's body. Causing for her to fall to her knees.
' Dizzy…..I feel dizzy…..'
Kyo squinted hard, determined to get his eyes focused upon his prey but the world kept spinning around him.
' Dammit….'
Benitora fell out upon the ground, sound asleep.
' Hic'
Mahiro's legs weakened and her hold upon the tree branch loosened and she could feel herself slipping away.
' No……can't lose….'
The last thing anyone of them saw were the glowing sapphire eyes of Puck as he stared down at them, a wide smile on his face.
" Nighty night……"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Yuya groaned as she tried to stretch out her sore leg muscles.
" Oi…..what the hell happened?" she muttered.
Rubbing her thigh, Yuya glanced at her surroundings. Across from her was a still unconscious Benitora and Mahiro. Benitora's back was leaning upon the trunk of a tree, his head lolling with each snore; Mahiro's body was sprawled across his own in a very compromising position. If Benitora were awake, Mahiro would be suffering from the roaming hands of a hentai.
Shaking her head slightly, Yuya turned to look for Kyo.
" Kyo?….." she rasped. " Ow…..what's wrong with my voice?"
Her throat felt raw, as if she had been screaming for hours on end. Rubbing her neck, she coughed.
" Damn….how did I get a sore throat?….."
With a ragged sigh, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Maybe that would magically get rid of her oncoming headache.
" I see you've awaken."
Yuya's head shot up, her eyes wide. Her hand immediately went to the dagger around her waist.
"Kyo?"
He stepped out into the open area of lush grass. His raven colored hair blew gently in the breeze. Yuya hauled herself up from the ground, her legs still a bit shaky.
" So what the hell did that Puck fellow do to us and where are we?"
Kyo glared at her out of the corner of his eye.
" Do I look like a fucking psychic to you?" he snapped.
Yuya scowled at his foul attitude but let it pass. Rubbing her sore legs, she groaned.
" Damn this hurts like a bitch….."
Kyo glanced at her.
" It's just the charm wearing off…"
Yuya tilted her head.
" What charm?"
Before Kyo could answer, a loud feminine shriek filled the air followed by a crash. Looking over at the others, they saw Benitora's head enlodged in the trunk of the tree with Mahiro's foot shoving him in the back.
" Eechi Hentai BAKA!!!!!" (a/n: courtesy of one of my reviewers, Zecheria)
A sweat drop formed on the back of Yuya's head.
" Uh…..Mahiro?"
Mahiro turned to stare at Yuya; releasing a severely hemorrhaging Benitora.
" Oh….Hello."
Yuya glanced over at Benitora, drowning in his own blood.
" I think he needs medical attention…."
Mahiro gazed over at him.
" No, he'll be fine… A little bleeding will do him some good."
Yuya shook her head sadly.
" And people think I have a bad temper…."
And that's all for now… Longer chapter this time, no? EH? EH? EH? EH?
Kyo: Yes it was, bitch.
RoguesHeart: I'm not a female dog, bastard.
Kyo: Oh, just point out that I don't have a father why don't you?
RoguesHeart: I'll do what I please.
Kyo: Oh really? (unsheathes muramasa)
RoguesHeart: (quickly throws rosary beads around Kyo's neck) OSUWARI BASTARD KYO!!!
Kyo: (Smacks ground ungracefully) OW! BITCH! YOU WILL DIE!!
RoguesHeart: Osuwari.
Kyo: ( thump) OW!
RoguesHeart: Osuwari. Osuwari. Osuwari.
Kyo: (thump) OW! (thump) OW! (thump) OWWWWW!!! DIE BITCH DIE!!!!
RoguesHeart: OSUWARI!!!!!!!!
Kyo: (KABOOM)
RoguesHeart: Oh dear, I sat him so hard he hit the earth's core…..and exploded. (moment of silence) Oh well…. (skips off happily)
REVIEW FOR ME PLEASE!!!!
