Title- With My Last Breath
Author- slasher-pride
Rating- T - only because of
Warning- character death and suicide
Disclaimer- I own nothing. All character belongs to J.K Rowling and her publishers.
Summery- OneShot-Ron is in love but can tell the person he loves. In the end he tells his love but it's too late. very very mild slash
Ron's POV
I loved him with every fiber of my body. At night I would lie in my bed thinking about him. I would dream that one day we would be together. I dreamed about him holding me in his arms. I wished that I wouldn't have to be alone that he would be mine and I would be his. I would give anything just to hear him say he loved be back.
I've tried going out with other guys to make him jealous. Or that's at least what I told myself. The truth was it was to try to get my heart to forget about him. However somehow every one of them had something or did something that would make me think of him. Sometimes it was their hair or their eyes. Sometimes it was just the way they looked at me or laughed. As much as I tried to deny it I knew I would never find someone like him. I would search for someone who looked nothing like or someone who from a distance you could swear that it was him. I search for someone who could take his place, but none of them could make me forget about him.
Everything about him reminded me why I fell in love with him. I loved his emerald eyes that when he looked at you, you felt like he could look into your very soul. They were filled with so much happiness and yet so much fear and misery from years of heartbreak and lost at the same time. It was hard to believe that those same beautiful eyes that would fill with so much pride after a quidditch match were the same eyes that had seen so much death and despair in his short life-time.
And his midnight hair that was always in great disarray. Oh how I dreamed about how it would feel to run my hands through his hair. What I wouldn't give to just spend hours taking in its scent. But once you got past the face and if you move your eyes lower you would be rewarded by a magnificent body.
One that's arms and legs had rippled muscles. One that had the most wonderful tan ever seen as a result of years of Quidditch. A body that anyone would love to have. But no one could ever appreciate it like I did. Oh how I love that body. The way he moved on his broom was a glorious sight. Everything about him made him a dark- haired Adonis.
It wasn't just his body I was in love. I wasn't like everyone else who only saw his body. I had the chance to see the really him. No one else knew him like I did. I was after all his best friend. I was there after every Quidditch match to help him celebrate. I was there by his side every time he was in the hospital wing. I was even there at night when the rest of the tower was fast asleep and he would be taken over by terrible nightmares that would leave him crying and covered in sweat. I was the one that he told about his nightmare, not Hermione or Dumbledore, but me.
I was the one he told about his dreams of Voldemort killing his parents or the one that controlled his dreams now-days, the one of Sirius falling through the veil. He told how he feared losing someone else. He told me how he feared about dying alone and how he feared no one would ever love him. I told him he would never be alone, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him I loved him.
No matter how hard I tried I could never say those words. They seemed to never want to past through my lips. But then the day I would always remember no matter what happened. He fell for someone who wasn't me. He was the guy I thought he hated. This guy was what some would say was perfection. His blond hair was always in place his eyes were such a light blue that they looked like ice. Some would say he looked like an angel but he would never be anything compared to the one I loved. The one I loved was caring not heartless like he was. I never did see why he fell for the heartless bastard.
Someone who would hurt him numerous times, but he would keep going back to him. Hermione once told me it was because Malfoy was cold and had no wish for commitment. And that's what he wanted someone who he could be without the worry of love. She said he wanted someone who wouldn't hurt him when they decided one day they didn't want him anymore. But it didn't work my love fall in love with Malfoy.
I had to see them kiss and see them caress each other. I had to listen to him cry when everytime they broke up or got into a fight. I never understood why he did it to himself no matter how many times Hermione tried to defend what he was doing. Why couldn't he just open his eyes and see that he had someone right in front of him who loved him and would never hurt him? That was my question to myself every night when I would see him get his father's cloak and sneak out for the night. The morning after he would sneak out he would return before the rest of the tower would wake. He would crawl into his bed and get up when everyone else did and acted like he never left his bed.
But I knew better. I could smell the sex on him. I acted like the others, like I had no knowledge of his night's activities. It hurt me every time to know he was with someone else. To know he was in someone else's arms and kissing and caressing someone who wasn't me tore my heart to pieces. Sometimes I felt like a little school girl possessing over something that wasn't mine and probably never would be. Besides I was just his best friend. My head would tell me that he would never think of me the way I think of him. To him I was his friend; he might even have thought of me as brother, but a lover never.
Or at least that was I thought. But one day everything changed. Dumbledore gathered all those willing to fight for what would be the final battle. I knew not everyone would make it, but him never in my nightmares would I have thought he would be one of the lives lost. When the battle began there were curses and hexes flying from both sides. I stayed by his side fighting until out of no where Voldemort was standing right in front of us. Before I knew what happen I was pushed out of the way by my love as Voldemort sent the Cruciatus curse right at me but when he pushed me out of the way it hit him.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. It's not like he had never saved me but there was something about it. After he broke through the curse he looked over to me and said something I'd never expected while looking me right in the eye he said the three words I could never say 'I love you'. I was so taken back by that I missed the spell that he said the resulted in a dark cloud that look as if it was made up of thunder and lightningthat surrounded him and Voldemort.
Everyone that was still alive on the battle field stop and looked at the cloud. No one knew what was going on inside but I had a bad feeling in my gut. After what seemed like hours thecloud started to faded and break up. At that moment I wouldn't have been surprised if everyone held their breath and no one on either sides said a single word. There was the one that I loved standing in front of a pile of ash. Everyone cheered but the cheering end suddenly when my love fell to his knees. I went to him and I took him into my arms like I wanted to so many times before. As I looked in to brilliant emerald eyes and he looked into mine I told him that I loved him and that I'd always had. With the last of his strength he gave a weak smile as a single tear fell from his eyes as he took his last breath.
My heart felt like it broke into million different pieces. As tears fell from my eyes I asked why I let a thing like fear stop me I do not know. How could I let him not know I felt about him before his last moments?
I hate myself for waiting so long. It still amazes me as I replay the moment before the bubble when he said he loved me. He was the reason for my being. He was the reason I got out of bed in the morning. He was the one who felt so close to but so far away from at times.
Here I stand in front of his grave reading his tombstone that reads:
Here lies our Hero,
Who gave his life so others may live
In the face of death he didn't waver
He stood strong until his last breath
Forever will he be remembered
Remembered by those who loved him
And will never let his name be forgotten
Here lies Harry James Potter
A Faithful son, Loyal friend and Brave Savior
As I read this I realize I have no reason to live anymore. He was the reason and now with him gone I must go join him. That is why I'm sitting at his grave tonight. That is why I have this knife in my hand. Because I can't touch him again I take the knife to my wrist and drag it across my arm. Because I'll never see his eyes again I lie on top of his grave.
I know this will hurt people, but right now he is my only concern. That is why I am writing a note. To explain my decision that reads:
'I Ronald Weasley lie here on top of my love's grave. I've loved him ever since I first meet him. Some may say it's wrong but I could care less. With his last moments of his life he told me he loved me to. I'm going to be with him. To be with the Boy-Who-Lived. I'm going to be with my Harry. I love you all of you. But I told him he would never be alone. And I'm keeping my promise.'
As the last of my life slips away I lay the note on his grave and close my eyes and right before my last breath I said into the night the words that were ever so hard to say before, "I love you Harry Potter."
A/N-This is my first try at this kind of story. If you can please tell me what you think. What do you think of the tomestone? I wrote it last mintute.
