Something Pink
Part 9: Decisions to Make
Fujitaka had said to her a long time ago when she was still a child that 'to go head on with something that you are most afraid of makes you the more stronger and braver.' As a child, Sakura would sometimes hide under her blankets, afraid of ghosts that haunt the night. 'If you want practice, go out for a walk with me now while it is still dark. It would test yourself and prove whether or not you're a big girl.'
Sakura stood on stage, cameras and lights flashing around her. She had come to work even after that night when she ran away from Syaoran in tears.
'Look fear in the eye and say, I am not afraid! That fear just might transform into something that might even bring comfort to you.'
From where she stood, Sakura cast her miserable eyes towards a man, who stared at her with a stoic face. There was no comfort in that face. His mouth was set in a thin line as he looked up at her from his comfy seat. When he realized that she sensed him staring, he drew his golden brown gaze away from hers first.
'When that fear is gone, your heart should feel lighter…'
Sakura pressed her palms to her heart.
"Sakura, smile!" Eriol shouted, from where he stood beside Syaoran. Sakura smiled broadly, Eriol responding with a gleeful, "Good, good, good!"
Restless and somewhat lost, Sakura was walking on the street out of the studio. A limo eased near her by the side walk that she didn't notice, until the window rolled out and Syaoran spoke to her. "Good job today, Sakura. I think I would have gone blind with all those lights and lose my mind from Hiiragizawa's annoying shouts, but you are amazing, bearing all that," Syaoran joked, his eyes smiling. It seemed as if last night never happened with the way he talked. Sakura tried to smile, but only one corner of her mouth went up. "When you have modeled as long as I have, it's nothing really hard to handle." Syaoran gave her an understanding nod, his eyes still shinning.
"Oh, yeah," Syaoran said, his eyes lighting up at a thought, "I signed those old papers."
Sakura gave him an inquisitive look. He showed her the papers through the window. She recognized them as divorce papers from long ago.
"I just want to let you know, you are free to love anyone you want, now that you aren't bounded to me," he said without looking at her.
"But, what about Peony?"
"She's yours, but I'll visit as often as I can. Can I still visit?"
"I…"
Finally, he looked at her. "Stunned speechless or too delighted for words?"
"Syaoran, of course you can visit Peony. She needs you."
"So, it's finally settled. Now we can move on with lighter hearts…" He sighed. Then, looking up at her again, he said, "I'll see you around."
Sakura nodded and watched the limo take off again. She had just spoken to a man with a mask of Syaoran and he offered her freedom… No… He gave it to her without a second thought… By force? No… She had already stolen the freedom when she ran away. This meant, that he was acknowledging her freedom, too. Yet, the whole exchange appeared achingly unfair to her hypothetically light heart.
Sakura went home, thinking, long, and hard late into the night. Her heart tearing up at a choice she had to make in fairness.
That was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life. Syaoran was known for his determination. He would never let go of something he set his sights on. To him, letting go would mean to kill. However letting go of Sakura meant to die. But what of his daughter, only heir, to the Li riches? He could not fight for her if he felt he did not deserve Sakura.
After Sakura had run away from the park, he had made up his mind after finding out 'all he needed to know.' She wanted freedom and if he could grant it to her he would. The end. He had no fight left in him.
Every night he went home after work, instead of picking up his daughter from school. He decided to leave that to Sakura. He was surprised when Sakura gave him a phone call.
"Syaoran Li, do not neglect our daughter because of 'us.'" He could hear the anger in her voice.
"I am not neglecting her. I'm just really tired after work. You know, I had to settle something at work today. It's not as easy as it was when I got here."
"Come over here tomorrow. Just be here and don't try any excuses."
"You are pushy," he laughed.
There was silence on the other end. That was when he realized she hung up on him.
He went because she asked. He took Peony out to dinner just as she asked. However, he did not expect what waited for him and Peony when they got back.
TBC
