Hellsing is Kouta Hiraino's, Kill Bill is Quentin Tarentino's. Rated R for Jan-speak.
"-And then, after we burned his fucking place down, Brintz turns to me and, you'll never believe this, she says 'I guess it's all cut off now!'"
Leif and Jessica stared at Jan for a second then burst into howls of laughter. Jessica had to lean on her boyfriend to keep from falling off her chair.
Jan grinned. "I like you two, you're a lot more fuckin fun then most of the trash we get around here. Lemme talk to the management. You might be just the types we're looking for." He got up and skipped up the stairs, taking them two at a time. He pushed his way between the two vampires strippers guarding the back room door and slipped in.
Luke stood in the room outside of the office with his arms crossed. Jan walked up to his brother and put his hand on Luke's shoulder. "Bro, I got a couple of kids who would be perfect-"
Luke held up a hand to silence his brother. "He's in there."
Jan's eyes widened. "The fucking fat man?"
"Hush! He might hear you!"
"I thought they didn't know we had this place?"
"Well apparently they do, and they're all here. All of them."
"Jesus, what do they want?"
"I don't know," Luke replied as he pushed open the door to the office.
The shades were drawn and the only light came from the desk lamp Luke had picked up in an antique shop. The chair behind the desk swiveled around to reveal the Major sitting in it. He leaned forward onto the desk, resting his chin on top of his clasped hands. The Valentine Brothers stood at attention.
"How did you find us?" Jan asked suddenly. Luke glared at his brother.
There was a low laugh from one of the darkened corners of the room. Tublicain Alhambra's voice floated out from the darkness. "I'm the man."
"We desire something from you," the Major said. "No, rather we desire something from the vampires you keep producing here in London."
"And what is it that, exactly?" Luke asked.
"We want a sign. A message to Hellsing and to their No-Life King that something is coming. Something big and frightening. Something that will shake the world and rattle Heaven. Something to make the very devils of Hell look up from their pit and quake at the madness of man."
"So, you want a Lusitania, then?" Luke said. "A pretext for the war. You want Hellsing to kill one of our vampires while they are on a mission so you can war on them?"
The Major laughed. "Not quite, though a very interesting analogy. I need no excuse for war, Mr. Valentine. I merely wish to extend them the courtesy of forewarning."
Jan suddenly burst out laughing. He grinned, showing his fangs, and said, "I've got just the pair of shitheads for ya."
