To Be Young Again
Chapter 15: So Fragile It May Break
"Huh?" Lily Evans asked out loud during Transfiguration on Monday. A note had floated in front of her face as she was dozing.
Oh, she thought bitterly, it's from Potter. She glanced his way. His wand was poking out from his robe sleeve and he was so concentrated that he didn't notice Lily staring at him.
"Yes, Miss Evans?" Professor Dumbledore asked Lily at her outburst with a twinkle in his eye.
"N-Nothing," Lily stuttered, turning red. She unfolded the note and read:
Lily-of-the-valley,
I'm sorry for whatever I did. I wasn't planning anything of the sort you thought I was, I swear. I just wanted to- Here he scribbled something out.
Anyway, I was wondering if you would meet me in here after class. There's something I have to say.
J.P.
Lily smiled faintly. Her reply consisted of two letters.
O.K.
Lily levitated the note back to James. He read it, and grinned the biggest grin a fool in love could manage.
*An hour later*
Sirius, Remus, and Peter watched Lily gather her things and wait for James by her desk. They signaled the rest of the class. And attacked.
*
Lily was being shoved out the door by a mob of students. Someone grabbed her arm and dragged her out. The only person left inside the classroom was James Potter. That's all Lily saw before the door was shut and locked.
Lily banged on the door after the crowd had dispersed.
"James, let me in," she called. "JAMES!"
She pounded on the door right when it opened. She fell on her face. A hand pulled her up. She looked at the room in awe and amazement.
The lights were dimmed. Rose petals and- was that glitter? Mist?- some magical substance much like a glittery mist were softly falling from the ceiling in a swirl, but not hitting the floor- sort of floating. A small vase of roses sat on a small table set for two.
"Wow," Lily breathed.
"Like it?" a voice whispered in her ear.
"James, I love it! How did you do it?"
"Tranfigured a couple things here and there. I noticed you called me by my first name three times in a row," he commented.
"Slip of the tongue. It won't happen again," Lily reassured, suddenly cold.
"Uh-huh," James said sarcastically.
"So," Lily was eager to cut to the chase, "what did you want to tell me?"
"Uh, well…" James seemed to lose his cool, "um…Lily, remember our first year? The train?"
"I do," Lily said. (A/N: Omen of a wedding…sorry, I had to comment on that…)
"Well, uh, I just said that to you because…er, I didn't want you to know that I had the, uh, slightest crush on you."
Lily raised an eyebrow.
"But, Lily, that crush grew," James continued, before Lily could say anything and break the flow of his words. "By fifth year, I couldn't keep my eyes off your angelic face."
Lily allowed a smile to grace her features.
"And, well, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting to you and acting in general. I was just showing off for you. I didn't care about any of the other girls I dated, I swear. The only person I wanted to be with was you."
And he was moving closer to Lily, and she allowed him.
"Do you forgive me?" he whispered.
Lily nodded. And their lips met.
Lily kissed James back with equal passion…and then pushed him away.
"I can't," she whispered. James could see the tears welling up in her eyes. And she fled.
*
In the girls' dormitories, Lily lay on her bed, soaking her pillow with salty tears. How could she let James kiss her like that? And kiss him back? And then push him away?
It was a horrible, scummy thing to do, give him false hope or whatever he was looking for.
Now I'll never be Head Girl, Lily thought miserably. Because I did such a horrible thing. And I haven't studied. Final exams are in two weeks. But HOW can I study with James on the brain?
Oh, I have to study, though, and since Transfiguration is my worst subject, well… I suppose I could start with that.
Lily dragged out her book from her book bag and started muttering an incantation, trying to transfigure her pillow into a quill.
"Come on," she muttered in between incantations.
Suddenly there was a noise outside Lily's dorm room. "Oof!" it said.
Lily went to go see what had interrupted her studying. She opened the door and there was James Potter, sprawled on the ground.
"James!" she hissed. "What are you doing here?"
He winced. "What else?" he whispered. "I came to find you." He winced again, and placed a hand to his side.
Lily's eyes softened, as well as her expression. "James, are you alright?"
"I think so." He tried to stand up. "No."
"What happened?" Lily asked, approaching him.
"Stupid staircase turned all smooth and I slid down. Don't laugh," he added threateningly, as Lily hurried to stifle her giggle.
"Here, let me help," she offered.
*
Caitlin floated through the day. She had that glow about her, the one that only comes from inside. She smiled throughout the day, as if her face couldn't bear to do anything else, even when she was jeered at by the Slytherins.
"Caitlin, are you on something?" A very concerned friend, Katherine, asked her.
"I'm fine, Katie," she said. "Why would you think otherwise?"
"Well, let's see," Katherine began ticking each observation off her fingers, "you didn't speak to anyone all day, you've been…waltzing with yourself, one might call it, you've been smiling at Nikki and her posse, who I might add, is your worst enemies, and you've had this dreamy look on your face all morning," she finished.
"Oh Katherine, don't be silly," Caitlin replied. "There is such a thing as bliss in this world…"
"Okay, so who's the lucky guy?" Katherine asked.
"Sirius Black," Caitlin responded dreamily.
"Sirius Black?" Katherine repeated. "The Sirius Black?"
"Of course," Caitlin answered vaguely. "Who else?"
"Caitlin!" Katherine shrieked. "I'm so happy for you! Why didn't you tell me?"
"Sorry," Caitlin replied. She spotted someone. "Oy, Lily!"
Lily rushed up to Katherine and Caitlin. "Hi, guys."
"Sirius asked Caitlin to be his girlfriend," Katherine informed Lily.
Lily's eyes grew wide. "No way! When did this happen?"
"Friday night," Caitlin answered.
"Come on," said Katherine, suddenly bored with the conversation. "Let's go eat breakfast. I'm starved."
*
Nikki Gryfan approached James like a cat, slowly creeping. She suddenly, as all cats do, pounced.
"Hi Jamsie," she flirted.
"What now?" James asked in a clearly exasperated tone.
"Are we still on for Hogsmeade?" she asked.
James sighed irritably. "Gryfan, that was months ago and besides, I never said yes."
"Well, it's not too late," Nikki purred.
*Flashback*
"So," James asked Lily, "why are you helping me? I mean, I could get back to Gryffindor Tower alone, you know."
"I know," Lily replied, "but it's not really human if you leave an injured person lying where they are. Ever heard of the Good Samaritan?" Lily asked, who had gone to Sunday School as a child.
"The who?"
"Never mind. Anyway, I'm just helping you because it's the right thing to do, that's all. Then you're on your own."
"Lily, will you go out with me?"
"Definitely not."
"Give me a chance."
"No."
"You didn't seem to mind after Transfiguration," noted James, a smile creeping onto his face.
"That was then, this is now. I don't care for you James. I don't see how I can make this clear to you. You keep chasing me and frankly, I don't want to be chased. Especially not by you."
James said nothing.
"This has been going on for years, and it's going to stop. Right here, right now. I mean it, James. No more."
This time James spoke. "Why don't you look me in the eye and say it?"
Lily lifted her head and peered into those hazel eyes. "I… don't want you to…come after me. Let me go. Please," she said with difficulty. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but she forbade them to fall.
"You know I can't."
"Right now, Potter."
"Can't we stay friends?"
"I don't want anything to do with you, and I mean it. Why don't you go snog someone else, as I know that's what you're looking for."
And Lily slammed the door in his face.
*End of flashback*
"Sure, Nikki. Why not? I've always found you attractive," James said, making sure Lily was watching. He slinked his arms around Nikki's waist.
Lily turned away and ran, tears pouring down her cheeks.
A/N: Wow, updating twice in one day. I'm a busy bee, aren't I? LOL Well I hope you liked it! I know it was really sad. Here's what's going to happen in the next chapter:
Caitlin and…guess who? will have a fight
Final exams are coming up! Probably next chapter
Everyone will leave for the holidays, I believe
Ok, I think the next chapter's gonna be a long one, so brace yourself! (The key word is 'think'.)
I didn't re-read this chapter, so ignore the typos, please!
And have you guessed who the mysterious 'secret source' is yet? Come on, it can't be that hard! ~_^
Until next time,
OutofAzkaban
